My sister is choosing her dog over her health

[u/Letter-Heavy]

My sister wants to come spend some time at my mothers house because she claims she’s not doing too well mentally. My mum said yes but without her dog. My sister got upset and said that my mum is rejecting her. According to my sister rejecting her dog is rejecting her. Mind you my mum has recently spent a lot of money renovating the house. Getting new furniture etc. When my sister comes to visit, the dog peed on my mums new carpet TWICE and my sister didn’t even tell the dog off. Or offer to clean the carpet after. My mum has told me that my sister has asked to come spend some time at the house AGAIN with the dog and my mum told her the same thing AGAIN that she can come but without the dog. My brother went to get my sister and she refused to leave her flat because she can’t take her dog with her. My brother is guilt tripping my mum to say that her main concern should be my sister not the dog but I told my mum to stand her ground on the no dog rule. How rude and inconsiderate must you be to feel you can overstep someone’s boundaries in their OWN HOUSE by refusing to leave your dog. I feel like a lot of these dog lovers are deranged. And my sister was going down that road a long time ago when she chose to isolate herself from the family and cling on to this animal. Now she needs help but refuse to separate herself from the animal and it’s somehow everyone’s fault. My sister’s flat that used to look nice some years ago I’ve heard it is now a mess. The floorboards and skirting boards ruined . Place cluttered and untidy. She’s spent years looking at my mum work 14hr shifts, saving and renovating the house little by little only to feel entitled now that it’s finished to bring the same mutt that ruined her flat and her life onto other people. I really cannot understand these people and I’m so mad at her behaviour.

[u/Away-Equipment4869]

Be your moms biggest voice and champion, she needs it. You have to play dirty with your siblings, because it's the only way they will learn.

[u/Letter-Heavy → u/Away-Equipment4869]

It’s a Yorkshire terrier. No one else in the family likes the thing. We don’t hate the animal we just don’t want responsibility for it nor have it in our home. It’s greedy, stinky and my sister lets it do whatever it wants

[u/ISellAwesomePatches → u/Letter-Heavy]

Ugh my Nan had one of those. Was her little shadow. He was lovely to the males in the family, uncles, cousins, my Dad... But the women? That little wanker would try to bite us or snarl at us if we got too close to Nan for a hug or whenever she left the living room and left him in with us.

Misogynist little shithead mutt.

[u/Away-Equipment4869 → u/Letter-Heavy]

Ugh.

[u/marrhi → u/Letter-Heavy]

A Yorkshire terrier can be trained not to pee inside.

[u/marrhi → u/Away-Equipment4869]

Agreed. The sister is being unreasonable.

[u/Due_Question_3326]

Wow all of these problems over some trash animal that can turn on it's owner anytime.

It's sad may your sister find the truth and become a dog hater.

[u/Altruistic_Baker6347 → u/Due_Question_3326]

The last sentence made me laugh 😊👍

[u/huntress_m_thompson]

so the emotional support & fulfillment from a mutt isn’t quite cutting it & she needs a human, eh? they never quite grasp that fact, do they?

if your brother is so keen on the mutt, he can take it while your sister chills at your mom’s & gets her life back in order. but you know that wouldn’t last & he’d be dumping it your mom’s soon enough.

good luck to your family in sorting it out.

[u/Rasta_pasta_plus → u/huntress_m_thompson]

THIS part! Dogs are so amazing that their owners put them above everything but when they need real help they turn to a human. I have a friend in a precarious financial situation who has a dog. She has told me multiple times that the reason she can’t stay over at people’s homes for more than a night is because of her dog. I even said the same thing to her that if she didn’t have a dog, she could stay with me. These people are truly nuts. 

[u/fuckfart → u/Rasta_pasta_plus]

This is what always makes me laugh.

"I like dogs more than I like people!" Then they immediately turn to people for help.

Her dog can get a job and help her out

[u/Away-Equipment4869 → u/fuckfart]

I recently saw someone say that they couldn't stand humans, that dogs are better than people. She had a crowdfund link in her bio for a surgery 🙃

[u/fuckfart → u/Away-Equipment4869]

These people are emotionally immature and stunted.

Just like a child expects to be able to tell their parents "I hate you!" then sit down to a dinner provided to them by those same parents, a dog lover expects to be able to look another person in the eye and say "I hate you!" then immediately they put their hand out for money and support.

You need to treat the humans around you with love, kindness and respect.

Remember, the grass is greener where you water it.

[u/Away-Equipment4869 → u/fuckfart]

Agreed!

[u/Outside-Sort-4334]

It seems like the mentally sane are in the majority. Stand by your mother. How can it even be a matter for discussion that one wouldn't want someone in the house who pisses on the carpet?

And that's not unfamiliar to me. Refusing the mutt or criticizing any of its unacceptable behavior is taken as a personal insult.

[u/Alocin_The5th]

So you are saying the dog was not the cure for her mental problems? I thought dogs were prescribed for people having mood disorders.

By the way I am not mocking her at all. I have on and off mood problems myself and I couldn’t imagine having a dog for its cure. It would probably drive me to madness.

[u/Letter-Heavy → u/Alocin_The5th]

I think the dog has only caused her to isolate herself more. ‘I have my dog so don’t need anyone’ kinda mentality. Which no man is an island and an animal cannot replace human connection. Especially when it comes to the things that really matters in life. My mum and I will be going over to her flat later to see what’s going on. If things are bad we’re going to refer her for psychiatric help and put the dog with a charity. I’ve sent out a post on the neighborhood group and plenty of people willing to look after the dog

[u/Lylith_vf]

Votre sœur a bien un comportement délirant comme beaucoup de propriétaires de chiens et j'ai l'impression que ce schéma existe chez d'autres personnes : je me trompe peut être mais est-ce que les personnes qui ont des problèmes de santé mentale ont tendance à prendre des chiens ? Ils pensent que cela va les aider mais il est clair que ça les isole encore plus et les rends plus misérable qu'au départ. Aussi, la particularité de ces gens c'est qu'ils sont très égoïste et pensent avoir plus de droits que tous le monde, tenter d'outre passer les limites des autres semblent être un jeu pour eux, peut être que c'est parce qu'il laisse leur chien dépasser les limites avec eux même. En tous cas, vous avez raison de demander à votre mère de garder ses positions et votre frère est tout aussi égoïste: il n'a qu'à accueillir votre sœur et son chien chez lui s'il s'en préoccupe tant. Vous et votre mère avez totalement raison. Ne cédez pas!

[u/Letter-Heavy → u/Lylith_vf]

I really do think there is a link between mental illness and dog nutters. My sister I think struggles with human relationships due to what I believe is her neurotic personality. She has fallen out with everyone in her life and she always thinks she is the victim. The dog has become a replacement and a crutch. Something that won’t ( can’t) fall out with her. She doesn’t have to deal with any of the complexities that comes with human relationships

[u/Emikitty1992]

So your sister would rather stay in a rundown dump of an apartment with a dog when she’s sad and in need of some help, as opposed to giving up a DOG so she can stay in a nice, beautifully renovated home with her mother who wants to help her? I’m sorry but the dog needs to go. The dog won’t help her if she is in a bad spot emotionally. It’s a pet- not a human who understands emotions and is capable of offering advice and help.

[u/Letter-Heavy → u/Emikitty1992]

Exactly. It’s not like it’s hard to find someone to take the dog either. I’ve researched at least 4 dog charities locally and many people in our neighbourhood chat group have said they’re willing to keep the dog for a while. This is how I know she’s being stubborn, selfish and like all dog nutters forcing peoples boundaries with their disgusting mutt

[u/Emikitty1992 → u/Letter-Heavy]

So she has several options available to choose from when it comes to the dog, but none of the options are HER number one choice so she refuses to concede and pick from them? Wow. She really is stubborn. Sometimes we don’t always get what we want. Shoot, your sister sounds like a toddler who is screaming about wanting a purple cup but the only cups available are blue and orange…

[u/Antique_Raisin1589]

This made my blood pressure rise 

[u/Thin_Pollution8843]

That’s why you need more than one child in the family. (3 is a sweet spot imo). If you have only one there is a big chance they will not make it 😅

[u/Accurate-Fuel5823]

Easy solve: Your brother can take your sister and her dog in .

Your mother has a right to her home dog free, ffs

[u/marrhi]

Your mum has every right to say no dog in her house. She worked hard for that home. The dog already peed on new carpet twice. Your sister did not clean it or correct the dog. That is disrespectful.

[u/Basic-Coconut7118]

Imagine choosing a dog, who would be just as happy staying with anyone else, over your own mother, who should be the most important person in your life (unless she’s a bad/abusive mom, doesn’t sound like it). That’s crazy.