r/2under2 • u/bellski05 • 1d ago
Rant Robbed by postpartum
Anyone else feel like the haze/fog of postpartum PLUS coming home with a tiny worm of a human robbed you of some of the last baby months with your older half of the 2u2? I have my phone on the rotating wallpaper of my kids/husband/cats lol and I’m getting pics from when my second was NB~3mos and my oldest was like 15-18mos and at the time she felt soooo big and I was so overwhelmed and idk I just felt like she was a giant ass toddler. But now she’s approaching 2years old and I’m not in the thick of it as much with the little one and I’m seeing these pics and I feel like I completely missed those months with her. I was with her but I didn’t SEE her and I’m so sad about it 😭 she was just a tiny baby and I made her grow up so fast
9
u/DiamondJumpy1397 19h ago
I look at my toddler and wonder how he grew up so fast in the last 2 months. And my heart breaks that I can’t take him out to places as often as I used to. Or that I am constantly nursing his sister or trying to get her to nap. And my baby doesn’t get half of the attention I gave my toddler at that age.
7
u/size9shoe 21h ago
I don’t remember SO MUCH. Mine are now 14 months and almost three and really starting to have that sweet sibling relationship that so many people rave about, but I could not in good conscience encourage others to have kids this close in age. I sincerely hope I can say it was worth it one day, but right now I feel like I shortchanged both kids and myself so much.
3
u/bellski05 21h ago
YES. And I feel like I’m only starting to see the beginning of it. I know a year from now I’m going to wonder where all the time went with the baby. I know my post is about big sis, but somehow I spend all day giving her attention and caring for the baby’s basic needs and that ends up being nothing for either of them?! I know it’s not nothing, but even with all the focus on the toddler it’s not enough for someone discovering the world! And the baby, I just have so much guilt because her sister had SO MUCH more from me at this age 😭 and I know she won’t remember being left on the floor while I run her sister to the potty for the 10000000th time today, but I hate that her view most of the day is just the room she’s in and not interaction with me like her sister had.
2
3
u/Regular_Ring_951 11h ago
I just had this revelation yesterday looking at my snap memories. I had my second when my first was 14 months old and in the moment he felt like a little man but now he’s 2 1/2 and actually a little man and he was still a baby back then and I sobbed for like 30 minutes over it. UGH.
3
u/fl4methrow3r 11h ago
My toddler went from non verbal to non stop yapping in the last 3 months since bb2 came home. I had very little help with the kids due to unusual circumstances and so I put so much energy into my toddler (also, he would NOT be ignored!) that I didn’t have much 1-1 time with the new baby.
Frankly, I feel worse about basically missing the first two months of my younger son’s life to the post-partum fog/ lack of sleep/ lack of help. He was with me all day but I didn’t talk to him much or sing just to him… and now I barely make tummy time for this kid bc unless toddler is napping, he’s so all over the place it’s hard to take my eyes off him. I try but it never feels like I’m succeeding…
Plus I get way more annoyed with my toddler now. I mean he IS more annoying on purpose - but still. I wish I could be as patient as I used to be…
It’s just so hard
3
u/Merzombie 9h ago
Omg I relate to this so much My girls are a year and two days apart (almost 2u1😮💨) and my memories are so damn foggy or straight up missing of while I was pregnant ..like second trimester all the way up till my second was like 1-2 months.
Things would happen to my second like certain sickness/teething experiences or new milestones that cause me to react and my husband just goes "well yeah don't u remember when <firstborn> did this?" And I'm like.....uhhh....no? It's such a strange experience for mums...it's an exhausting time and u can't even really get rest so your brain is just winging it taking it day by day.
It always gets easier, the emotional load gets lighter overall and you can enjoy the kids more and more every day. Just soak up as many hugs and giggles as you can daily. It helps with my mum guilt anyway <3
3
u/TradesforChurros 16h ago
Yes 😩 it's the price we pay so they can have each other later on. My 2u2 are now 3yo and 18mo and I see the other toddlers in the neighborhood that don't have a younger sibling. They've done so many things and are so spoiled, but I just try to remember that in future those only children will be so lonely and resent that they don't have siblings.
1
u/silly-goose1299 12h ago
My husband and I were talking about this last night. We were looking at some older pictures of both of our kids and I think it lowkey gave my husband some baby fever😂 but we were talking specifically about my daughter around the time my son was born and I really didn’t remember it because I have such a fog around the absolute whirlwind that was my son’s birth.
15
u/Peink_Panda 23h ago
it’s crazy how many of us feel this way 🫶