House Party 12/14/2015 [Part 2/9]

[u/SmarkInProgress]

Paisner: The fuck they cheering for?

Woodbridge: She's a hot chick jumping around the ring. Titties jigglin' and shit. Its the opening match in front of a hot crowd, what do you expect?

Roisin slingshots into the ring and connects with a flying springboard clothesline to John Doe, taking him out. Joe Bob gets to his feet and charges at Roisin with a lariat attempt. He connects, but Roisin hooks his arm and does a complete back flip, spinning around it like a monkey bar. She lands on her feet beside Joe Bob who has a look of utter shock and amazement on his face. That is until Roisin slams his face into the middle turnbuckle with a reverse STO.

Paisner: There goes Joe Bob's remaining tooth!

Joe Bob stumbles out of the corner right into the waiting arms of "Vile" Vic Studd. Vic picks him up in a fireman's carry and proceeds to spin him around for the Airplane Spin. After a half dozen revolutions, Roisin superkicks the side of Joe Bob's head.

Crowd: OOOOOOO!!

Vic drops a dazed Joe Bob who is out on his feet. Roisin sidles up and the two execute a double arm ringer, hook Joe Bob by the legs and drop him unceremoniously with a brutal looking Double Package Piledriver.

Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

Paisner: Roisin with the pin!

1...

2...

3!

JOE BOB NELSON HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

Woodbridge: I'm pretty sure John Doe just shit himself.

Doe's eyes go wide as he realizes he is royally fucked now. He slides out of the ring and attempts to escape only for Roisin to baseball slide underneath the bottom ropes and cut him off before he hits the aisle-way. John Doe quickly flips a bitch and heads the other way only to run into a big time Polish Hammer from Studd, who then rolls into the ring.

Paisner: I'm starting to get the idea that if anything Vic should be thanking these Alumni for ruining that date. I think Roisin is starting to see what a true partnership between the two could potentially bring.

Woodbridge: Yeah? Ask EVJ how that worked out for him.

John Doe clutches at his crushed sternum on the outside to see Roisin slowly encroaching towards him. He slides backwards trying to retreat, begging for mercy from the former Queen of Ballsweat. Finally, he spins to his feet and rolls into the ring and back pedals right into Vic Studd.

Paisner: Straight Jacket Lung Blower from Studd!

All the air leaves John Doe's lungs as Vic's knees drive into his back. But Vic refuses to release the hold, keeping John Doe pinned up against his knees while Roisin climbs to the top rope.

Woodbridge: Pretty sure John Doe is regretting taking that paycheck tonight.

Roisin leaps off the top rope with a sickening Moon Stomp onto John Doe while he's still being held in the straight jacket up against Studd's knees.

Crowd: OHHHHH!!

Paisner: Sweet Baby Moses what a maneuver! Roisin and Vic each put a foot on the chest of John Doe, this one is over!

1...

2...

3!

DING DING DING

Babaganoush: Your winners of this match at a time of 9:52... "VILE" VIC STUDD and ROISIN O'BRIEN!

Roisin starts barking orders at Vic, pointing down at John Doe.

Woodbridge: Ah shit. What now?

Roisin: Get'm up! NOW!

Vic obliges his would be over and picks the lifeless John Doe up and throws him over his shoulders. Roisin grabs John Doe by the hair and yanks his head back so she can stare into his glossed over eyes.

Roisin: Yer comin' wit us, mate. And yer gonna tell us... EVERYTHIN'.

Roisin slaps John Doe across the face and Vic marches out of the ring with John Doe sprawled over his shoulders. Vic makes sure to bump the steel ring post with the side of John Doe's head as they make their exit.

Paisner: If I'm whoever put John Doe and the rest of the Alumni up to sabotaging Ro and Vic's First Date. I'm on an International Flight to Kathmandu about an hour ago.

Woodbridge: Lovely country.

Paisner: Kathmandu is a city.

Woodbridge: Oh.

Paisner: We'll be right back folks!

We cut to the backstage area as Chad Hammocks stands by with Santiago Martinez to his side.

Hammocks: Hello, everyone. I'm WiR backstage interviewer Chad Hammocks, and my guest at this time is San-

Martinez: Hurry up, Todd II. I don't know if this is fucking breaking news to you, but I have a match later tonight. My name is Santiago Martinez, but you already know that. Can you move on?

Hammocks: Uhmm, OK. Santiago, are you prepared for this match?

Martinez: Prepared? Are you asking me if I'm prepared? Todd II, I'm always prepared! You know what I did last night? Twelve lines and two bitches I picked up at the nightclub. That's how I got prepared!

Hammocks: But what do you feel about-

Martinez: Don't interrupt me, you son of a bitch. You know who should be prepared? Nashville's emergency officers. Because they're gonna have a hard time to save EVJ after I beat the living shit out of him tonight.

Hammocks: But-

Martinez: Erik von Jarrett ain't got nothing on me. He has this need, this urge, of showing up like he's a hero or some shit! But guess what, Todd II. I have an urge of my own. And I want to beat EVJ. I need to beat EVJ. After tonight, I highly doubt that perro will ever come back to a wrestling ring. Trust me when I say this, son.

Hammocks: Son? B-b-b-but I'm older than you!

Martinez: Yeah, but guess what. Nobody cares. Just like nobody cares, nobody gives a shit about Erik von Jarrett. I shattered him in Mexico, just like his father shattered his back by whipping him in front of a crowd of sixteen thousand in Mexico City.

Hammocks: Uhmm...

Martinez: All over the last 3, 4 months, I've proven why I am a god. A fucking god. I proved it in Austin. I proved it in St. Louis. I sure as hell proved it at AMUDOV and at Mexico City. And guess what. Tonight in Nashville, I'm gonna do it again.

Martinez quickly walks out of frame, with a very smug look on his face.

COMMERCIAL

We cut back from commercial to see The Superstar in the ring, mic in his hands.

Superstar: Alright, tonight i'm issuing an open challenge to any wrestler in the back who dares to step in the ring with the likes of me! So whoever wants to fight, come out right now!

Paisner: Ya know, Superstar hasn't exactly had the most success here, i'm not sure if this is the greatest idea from him.

Woodbridge: Hey, anything con happen on any given day, if Heth Slating can beat Death Rollings back in NYS then there's that very slight chance Superstar could pull it off, doesn't hurt trying.

Superstar waits a bit more, before picking the mic back up.

Superstar: Well, i guess everyone was too scare-

Run by AWOLNATION cuts Superstar off as Robert Warlock walks down to the ring.

Javier: And currently walking down to the ring, from Kansas City, Kansas, weighing in at 234 pounds, "The Rising Phoenix" Robert Warlock!

Crowd: YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Paisner: Don't speak too soon Superstar! You've got a former WiR champion and he's not all that happy after Stephen Romero escaped from his grasps last week!

Woodbridge: Isn't Warlock always not happy?

Paisner: Yes, but after how Romero treated him by pushing him off the top rope again, them blaming him and attacking him when they lose, and then escaping when Warlock fought back, he has to be especially not happy tonight!

Warlock makes his way to the ring, slapping hands with a few fans but otherwise completely focused on Superstar, once he's in the ring, Undersach calls for the bell.

DING DING DING

Superstar tries to rush Warlock, but Warlock counters with a float-over DDT!

Crowd: YAYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Paisner: Not a great start for Superstar!

Superstar manages to get up, holding his head in pain, but Warlock charges with with a corkscrew forearm smash! Warlock then lifts Superstar up into Burning Hammer position, and drops Superstar onto his head!

Paisner: Burning Hammer from Warlock! Superstar must be regretting this challenge right now!

Warlock climbs to the top rope, gets in positions for The Rising Phoenix, and poses to the crowd on the top rope, but out of nowhere, Stephen Romero rushes out from the crowd and into the ring, and performs a back suplex flippy powerbomb onto Superstar!

DING DING DING

Javier: Here is your winner via a Disqualification, at a time of 0:40, The Superstar!

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Paisner: You have to be fucking kidding me, can Romero handle 2 goddamn seconds without getting attention?

Warlock meanwhile, has realized what happened and shoots a death stare into Romero as Romero shouts at him.

Romero: NO! YOU DON'T DESERVE THIS! YOU TRY TO TAKE MY SPOTLIGHT WITH ALL YOUR FLIPPY SHIT, AND GUESS WHAT! I'M NOT TAKING ANY OF YOUR BULLSHIT! YOU'RE WORTHLE-

As Romero shouts, Warlock suddenly jumps off the top rope and lands a missile dropkick to Romero! Forcing Romero into the corner!

Crowd: YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Warlock then Charges Romero with a corner Dropkick! Forcing Romero out the ring! Romero manages to get up, but Warlock runs the ropes and comes at Romero with a suicide dive! Warlock follows it up by laying punches into Romero! But Romero manages to get a rake of Warlock's eyes!

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Romero then floors Warlock with a huge elbow strike! Romero then starts laying in more elbows to a grounded Warlock!

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

As Romero continues to strike Warlock, one fan in the crowd can be heard booing Romero even louder than other fans, which causes Romero to take his attention away from Warlock on confront the fan.

Romero hops over the barricade, and after exchanging a few words with the fan, Romero proceeds to grab his arm and take his head off with a short-arm lariat!

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Paisner: Oh come on! He's a damn fan! He wast just voicing his opinion!

As Romero looks down on the fan. he doesn't realize Warlock had also jumped the barricade and is crouching behind him, so when Romero turns around, he's instantly met with a superkick from Warlock!

Crowd: YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Warlock then starts laying into Romero with various strikes! But eventually Romero pushes Warlock off him and boots it back out the crowd!

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Paisner: And Romero escaping again! But all this just makes Warlock angrier! There's gonna be hell to pay once Warlock manages to get his hands on him!

Warlock poses to the crowd on the barricade, but still has an angry look on his face from Romero escaping his grasps yet again. We cut backstage. Erik Von Jarrett sits in the locker room. He is taping his first. He is wearing his wrestling boots and tights with a tshirt on top. Derek Christian lurches into the room.

Derek: Erik, can I have some thoughts from you on your main event match tonight?

Erik ignores the interviewer and continues taping. A deep scowl spread across his face.

Derek: Erik, please. You've been so quiet since Mexico. You haven't said a single word in public since. You were betrayed by the woman you love and publicly whipped and humiliated by your father.

Erik keeps taping.

Derek: Erik, did Santiago Martinez break you?

Erik stops taping his fists. He stands up and towers over Christian.

EVJ: No, DC. He didn't. Martinez tried. Verne tried. They all tried. But they didn't get it done in Mexico.

EVJ turns to the camera.

EVJ : You can't break me. I have blood pumping in my body. I have fire in my heart and tonight,in Tenessee, I show you and I show the world,that Erik Von Jarrett can take a licking and keep on kicking.

EVJ walks out of frame.

COMMERCIAL

We come back from commercial break with a crowded ring. Javier Babaganoush, Tai Nai Wong, Jack Flash, Jack Anchor, Buster Bravadao, Jake Beaumont and Kevin Scott Jackson are standing in the ring. The last few bars of Let's Go by Trick Daddy is playing, as Jackson salutes Kevin's Kids down in the front row. The tow headed little scamps are all rooting for their hero. Buster Bravado simply stares.

Paisner: Welcome back to House Party, folks. We're getting ready for six man action between the teams of Buster Bravado, Jack Anchor and Jack Flash and Jake Beaumont, Kevin Scott Jackson and the WiR Wold Champion, David Harvey.

Woodbridge: Don't Harvey and Flash have a stipulation in their World Title match contract where they can't touch each other?

Paisner: Um...I think that only applies to non sanctioned WiR matches?

Cage The Elephant blasts over the speakers and the crowd cheer.

Javier: And finally, from Mesa, Arizona, weighing in at 205 pounds, the WiR World Heavyweight Champion, David Harvey!

Harvey powers through the curtain with the WiR World Title around his waist. He looks out to the crowd, feeling privileged to be able to work before a packed house in Tennessee. Harvey points to the adoring crowd, before making his way down the small stage to the ring.

Paisner: The Diamondback is loved everywhere WiR goes.

Beaumont starts things off in the ring against Buster Bravado. Beaumont and Bravado go to lock up, but Bravado dives under Jake's left arm and runs to the ropes, he baseball slides under the bottom rope and pops out on to the floor.

Paisner: The fuck?

Everyone is too busy asking the same question to realise that Bravado has just slid out of the ring beside Kevin's Kids. He hauls off and smacks Jason right in the mouth!

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Jackson bellows something indecipherable and flies off the apron in a rage. Bravado catches him coming off with a superkick!

Paisner: What a piece of shit!

Woodbridge: Yeah! Stop doing superkicks, you indy marks! You devalue the move!

Paisner: He hit a kid, Mark.

Woodbridge: Was it his own kid?

Paisner: No!

Woodbridge: Poor show.

Jake is so busy looking at the outside, that he doesn't notice Anchor, taking advantage of WiR's International tag rules, where if one wrestler leaves the ring, his partner is allowed enter, tear into the ring and blast him in the back. Bravado continues to stomp away at KSJ, taking the occasional break to taunt the near hysterical children.