Same Shit Different Year [Part 4/11]

[u/brianwantsblood]

Paisner: You said it. And now Vic is telling EVJ to stay on the apron as Jablome makes the count.

Vic strolls around the ring, his hands on his hips biding his time as EVJ tells him to get back in there already. He walks passed Jimmy Chonga III who gives Vic two big thumbs down. Vic threatens the child with a backhand causing him to retreat into his mother's arms. Vic just laughs and rolls back in the ring to meet Lucian. Vic goes for his typical thumb jab fake grapple but Lucian hits him with a quick snap kick to the side of the knee followed by a chop sending Vic back pedaling into the ropes.

Crowd: WOOO!

Alexander's Irish whip is reversed sending him sprinting across the ring. He ducks a Vic Studd clothesline and hits the brakes. Vic spins around only to eat a dropkick. Vic pops back up and this time Alexander catches him with a forearm. And another. And another sending Vic into the ropes yet again. Lucian Irish whips him and again Vic Studd reverses but he telegraphs a back body drop by ducking his head to early and Lucian Alexander hits a float over neckbreaker.

Crowd: OOOH!

Paisner: Lucian teaching the veteran a thing or two here tonight.

Lucian Alexander nips up and hits Vic with a quick running knee to the side of the head sending Vic stumbling into the neutral corner. Lucian sprints to the opposite side, bouncing off the turnbuckle (to the crowd growing) and crushes Vic leaned up against the bottom turnbuckle with a running cannonball senton.

Crowd: OOOOOOOH!

Woodbridge: Kinda beginning to see why Vic pulled for Los Chongas in the Essay Contest. A4R is dominating the bout in the early goings.

Lucian begins to stomp a mudhole in Vic and Jablome quickly counts to 4 and pulls Lucian back. Vic slides underneath the bottom rope again and EVJ steps into the fray. EVJ and Lucian quickly lock up and EVJ takes him down with a headlock takedown. He tries to lock in a reverse chinlock but Lucian Alexander nips up out of it to a smattering of applause. He hits the ropes and comes at EVJ with a running forearm only for EVJ to duck it. Lucian comes rebounding back and Von Jarrett sends him flying with a monkey flip. Lucian nips up again and this time EVJ takes him down with an arm drag. Again Lucian gets to his feet just a bit slower this time and EVJ hits another arm drag followed by an armbar.

One guy in the crowd: WRRRRRESTLING!

Crowd: YAY!

Lucian fights to his feet and grabs EVJ by the back of his hair and pulls him towards Jon Cody and A4R's corner. Cody slaps Lucian on the back for the tag and Lucian sends EVJ bouncing off the ropes. EVJ rockets back and ducks a forearm smash from Lucian Alexander only to eat a big boot to face from Jon Cody!

Crowd: OOOH!

Woodbridge: Von Jarrett eats shit!

Lucian bounces off the ropes and springboards off the middle rope connecting with a Lionsault to a bigger pop, followed by a big Bulk Brogan leg drop by Jon Cody.

Paisner: Nice tag team combination by Revelation! Cody keeps his leg draped over EVJ's neck for the pin!

1...

2...

and EVJ kicks out!

Crowd: TWOOO!

Jon Cody quickly grabs EVJ by the hair and pulls him in for a side headlock before he could get to his feet. The crowd picks up as EVJ draws on the power of the fans to fight to his feet. He backs Jon Cody into the ropes reaching his arm out for Vic to stretch out and just barely make the blind tag. EVJ tries to send Cody bouncing off the ropes but Cody hangs on and reverses it sending EVJ running across the ring. Vic slides from behind Jon Cody and hits a chop block, taking the big man down to one knee. EVJ rebounds off the ropes for a vintage Von Jarrett sliding lariat. Von Jarrett starts heading to the corner, being escorted by Heywood Jablome and Vic takes the opportunity to choke Jon Cody on the mat.

Woodbridge: Heywood is fucking losing it. Von Jarrett was heading back to his corner anyway. The fuck is he on?

Paisner: From what I've been told, he's been counteracting his addiction to Nyquil by huffing prescription strength nasal decongestant.

Woodbridge: God damn we need a union. If only for some fucking healthcare up in this bitch.

Paisner: No! If the NYS isn't doing it. I'm not doing it. Besides, Nana is... not too happy with me at the moment after our "Excellent Adventure".

Jablome turns back to the action and Vic releases the choke. He gets to his feet and starts stomping away on Jon Cody rolling away, trying to escape. Cody gets to his knees and into a crawling position and Vic runs into his ribcage with a heavy knee, slapping Cody on the back for more effect. Vic stays right on Cody, pulling him up to his feet by the beard and wrapping his arm around him before hitting a textbook side russian leg sweep. Vic gets to his feet and backs into the neutral corner, shoving Heywood Jablome out of his way in the process. He hoists himself up onto the second turnbuckle and hits Jon Cody in the forehead with a diving fist drop. Vic gets back up and struts for the crowd and towards his partner as Jon Cody clutches his forehead. Vic tags in EVJ with a big high five and the two men lift the big man up, connecting with a Double Slingshot Suplex.

Crowd: OOOOOH!

Paisner: Armenian Spin Cycle by the Nation. EVJ floats over for the cover!

1...

2...

3 – no! Cody kicks out!

Cody rises to his feet, a bit dazed after the high impact suplex. EVJ clubs him with a couple overhanded rights sending Cody staggering back into a neutral corner. EVJ follows Cody and leaps onto the second rope and begins hammering fists into Jon Cody's face.

Crowd: 1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! 7! 8! 9! 10!

EVJ hops off of Jon Cody after the 10 Punch Turnbuckle Spot reserved for all whitemeat babyfaces. Jablome gets in EVJ's face turning his back towards Cody, admonishing Jarrett for closed fists. Cody begins to come to in the corner but Vic runs across the apron and wraps the rope tie around his neck and leans back, garroting the very life out of Jon Cody.

Woodbridge: Look at EVJ! He's livid, but Jablome won't let him passed!

EVJ desperately tries to get to the corner as Jon Cody's face starts to turn blue. Von Jarrett's insistence on getting back to Cody only strengthens Jablome's resolve as he continues to hold Von Jarrett back. Lucian leaves his corner and makes his way towards Vic only for Jablome to stop him and order him back, giving EVJ the opening to get passed Jablome. Vic releases the choke, walking away like nothing ever happened as Cody drops to his knees, gasping for breath. Jablome gets Lucian back to his corner, sees a choking Cody and questions Vic, only for Studd to turn his back on him and stare out into the crowd ignoring him. EVJ walks up and slaps Vic on the back to make the tag and steps onto the apron without saying a word. Vic glares at him and steps through the ropes.

Paisner: Only a team like Erik Von Jarrett and Vic Studd could be the most functionally sound dysfunctional tag team. Even when they're at odds over basic strategy they still manage to cycle out and cut the ring in half.

Woodbridge: Lucian Alexander is the most athletically gifted man in this match. Jon Cody is by far the strongest. What EVJ and Vic bring to the table is ring awareness and psychology that has been unmatched here in WiR since the departure of Sonny Carson. And a lot of the times, that extra bit of knowledge is all a good team needs.

Vic grabs Cody by the back of the head and begins repeatedly ramming his knee into his face. Cody drops down to one knee whoozy and Vic locks in an abdominal stretch. He cranks back on Cody's arm tearing his ribcage apart like a cardiologist. Cody roars in pain as Jablome gets down to a knee asking if he wants to quit. Cody screams no as Vic reaches back towards EVJ looking for some extra leverage.

Paisner: Look at this! Von Jarrett denying Vic a classic leverage spot!

Vic starts screaming at Von Jarrett to hold his hand causing a small but audible "Awwww..." from the crowd behind them. Vic says fuck it and rotates his body just enough so he can reach the top rope and cranks on the pressure even more. Again Jon Cody howls in pain and Jablome asks if he wants to give. Cody screams no and EVJ kicks Vic's hand loose from the top rope. The top rope begins to shake violently getting Jablome's attention. He accuses Vic of grabbing the ropes and Vic swears on his mother's grave he's innocent while shaking his head.

Paisner: Cody powers out! Lube up Mark! Big Hip Toss!

Vic lands hard on the his lower back and Jon Cody runs at him full force, kicking Vic in the back of the head with a vicious bicycle kick on his way to tagging back in Lucian. Lucian slingshots into the ring, completely ignoring Vic and hits a running knee on a surprised Von Jarrett just standing on the ring apron, knocking him down to the floor. Lucian turns his attention back towards Vic, pulling himself up by the ropes in the neutral corner trying to gain his wits about him. Lucian comes flying in with a running knee to the corner followed by repeated forearms. He pulls Vic out, giving him no time to breath and hits a fucking gorgeous suplex.

Crowd: OOOOH!

Lucian floats over into a mounted position and starts hammering fists into the skull of Vic Studd. Jablome counts him off quickly and forces Lucian to break, pushing him back and giving him a warning.

Woodbridge: I don't like this. Jablome has had far too much interaction in this match. A good referee is one you don't even know is there.

Paisner: Well dickheads like Vic Studd tend to make their lives far more complicated than they have to be.

Woodbridge: ... true.

Lucian stalks Vic who is on his hands and knees begging for mercy. Lucian just smiles, flashing his twisted, stereotypical Arkansas grill. Vic starts scooching on his butt backwards shaking his head till he gets closer to the turnbuckle. He lashes out and grabs Lucian Alexander by the tights and yanks him forward sending the smaller man face first into the top turnbuckle. Vic then crawls on hands and knees towards EVJ and tags him in. EVJ enters the ring slowly as Lucian recovers in the corner. He lets Lucian have a moment and Lucian thanks him by making a fisting motion. EVJ smiles and the two men begin circling one another around the ring, they finally lock up in a collar and elbow, EVJ quickly ringing the arm of Alexander. But Alexander flips forward and reverses sending EVJ flipping to the mat and into an armbar. The two men exchange chain wrestling holds at a speed unseen by man at this point. Every move EVJ makes, Lucian has a counter as they roll about the ring. Alexander having a counter for waistlock, hammerlock, leg scissor and waistlock Von Jarrett thinks he can snap on. Lucian ends up grinding EVJ's face into the mat with a seated side headlock and EVJ pounds the mat in frustration. He powers back to his feet, backing Lucian into the ropes and sending him rebounding off towards the opposite ropes.

Paisner: Studd with the cheap shot as Lucian bounces off the ropes!

Lucian stumbles forward from the knee shot by Vic on the apron and Jon Cody can't help but storm into the ring and club EVJ over the back of the head with a forearm shot only to be told to get back into his corner by Heywood Jablome. Vic takes the opportunity to sneak into the ring. He begins unwrapping his wrist tape to reveal some foreign object taped beneath it. Vic pulls it out to reveal a nail filer. Vic presses it against Lucian's eyes and begins grinding it back and forth like a saw as Lucian kicks his feet in pain.

Crowd: AAAAAWWWWWWW!

Woodbridge: God damn. That's a way better idea than shaving your arms every two weeks.

Paisner: Manscaping is not one of Vic's forte's. I've never met anyone with more pride in their pubic mane than "Vile" Vic Studd. There's EVJ!

Von Jarrett gets to his feet and pulls Vic off of Lucian and shoving him back towards the corner. Vic acts like a grounded child, mimicing EVJ's every word and flapping his fingers like a mouth. Wow, that was literally the hardest thing to describe in this match btw. A talking hand. Shouldn't have done this drunk. Cody settles back into his corner and Jablome returns to the action to see Vic exiting the ring. Jablome runs over and begins yelling at Vic.

Studd: I was just checking to see if he was all right! Maybe if you did your fucking job Ja-SLOW-me! Hahahaha!

Von Jarrett grits his teeth and walks over to Vic tagging him in, as a small “you got served!” chant hits. Vic gives him a big thumbs up and Von Jarrett peels Lucian Alexander off the mat before hitting a scoop slam and spreading Alexander's legs out wide.

Woodbridge: We've seen this before. Vic with that diving headbutt to the groin!

Paisner: SINGAPORE WAFFLE IRON!

Crowd: OOOOOOOOH!

Lucian starts bouncing around the ring, holding his junk. Vic's smile is a little to big and he scrounges up some phlegm and walks over to Jon Cody, spitting onto the hick's already disgusting wife beater. Cody tries to get in the ring and Jablome stops him, ordering him back to the apron. Vic takes the opportunity to grab Lucian and drag him to the ropes. Vic drapes his face over the top rope and slowly begins walking along the length of the ring, grinding Lucian's eyes against the ring ropes with a classic rope burn. Vic releases it and Alexander begins swinging wildly, falling to his knees with each missed haymaker trying to hit something. Vic laughs as he steps in and catches Lucian's haymaker. Vic yanks Lucian's arm back and winds up with a closed fist.

Crowd: OOOOOOOH!

Paisner: Studd Finder! Lucian collapses to the mat like a load of laundry you don't feel like folding while Vic kisses his fist and fires a wink at his partner. Vic leans back onto Lucian for the lackadaisical cover and counts along with the crowd...

1...

2...

3 - No! Lucian got the shoulder up! And Vic grabs Jablome by the collar and brings him eye to eye imploring him to count faster!

Woodbridge: Vic better be careful or else he might get DQ'ed here.

Paisner: Well they'd keep the titles than. He'd probably like that.

Woodbridge: Oh, right. Go for it then Vic! Hit that fucking junkie!