r/workingmoms • u/sizzlesfantalike • 8h ago
Only Working Moms responses please. Using savings to pay for better schools?
In our district, budget cuts resulted in the public elementary school nearby getting closed. It was the best school in the district and it resulted in my address being directed to the worst school in the district. Worst as in, lowest funded, highest ratio of children to teachers, highest turnover in the state, the building literally is in constant repairs because things are falling apart (I used to work for the consulting firm that reviewed their building efficiency), I volunteer for a reading program and this was one of the few that didn’t even have a projector in their library. The schools’ students assessment was also way beneath the nationwide average.
My oldest is going to kindergarten this fall and my youngest is in daycare. The preschool my oldest went to was fantastic and he’s learned so much and developed way beyond I thought possible. The daycare is just okay, but not enriching. The daycare teachers are fine.
I have the opportunity to enroll both kids at a nearby Montessori that is 2 mins from my work office. It’s much more enriching for the toddler and so much better option for kindergarten. The only drawback is the monthly cost for this is more than our mortgage.
Is it worth it? We have some savings but it will drain us out. I just changed to a lower paying job to spend more time with the kids but I have an offer to go back to a higher paying job that pays for everything but I’ll be missing out on a lot of the kids’ things.
TLDR: switch from low paying job that affords me time with the kids to high paying job that doesn’t but affords the private school that is so much better for the kids? Or just use savings and have nothing for kids college or retirement?
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u/mzfnk4 12F/9F 7h ago
Never, ever risk your retirement for your kids' education. I might be in the minority that says that, but that's a hard line that my husband and I have drawn. If you are dead set on the Montessori, then I think you need to accept the higher paying job.
I do have a question, though. What are other people in your area doing now that the better school closed? Where are they sending their kids?
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u/lost_nurse602 7h ago
I agree about not risking retirement. My main patient population is older homebound Medicare recipients. The financial strain on families to provide for their older family members who cannot provide for themselves is insane. I do not want to put my kids in that position.
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u/sizzlesfantalike 7h ago
There’s been protests, the school boards are all deeply unpopular right now. A lot of families are homeschooling, some are working towards a charter school. My spouse doesn’t think we can’t pull it off at all so I don’t know how much I can do on my own.
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u/opossumlatte 7h ago
In this case, yes, I’d choose the private school. Another option might be to transfer to another public school, if your district allows that
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u/sizzlesfantalike 7h ago
It’s a lottery for the better schools. The district closed multiple schools and so it’s a cluster fk right now.
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u/WorstDogEver 7h ago
Would they be going to the Montessori through 8th grade? It seems worth it to me, at least for now. Maybe eventually you can get in the lottery for your preferred school and switch later. Early education, especially through third grade, is so important.
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u/sizzlesfantalike 7h ago
Yes! The middle school is good, not many choices in high school but is decent. That is about 10 years worth of mortgage.
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u/SnooGiraffes1071 6h ago
Is moving to a better school district an option (maybe not immediately but for the 2027 / 2028 school year?).
If so, I'd stick out public kindergarten and use the savings to move.
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u/shellysayswhat 6h ago
This! If you're looking at 10 years of mortgage sized payments for school, why not move to a better district entirely?
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u/sizzlesfantalike 6h ago edited 6h ago
We chose this house because we were in the district for the best school! I can’t believe we got directed to the worst because there’s a better school nearby. We just bought this house last August, great neighborhood.
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u/SnooGiraffes1071 5h ago
Our first district changed massively just as my son was starting kindergarten and we moved in October of third grade (with tutoring over the summer between 2nd and 3rd, and it's worth noting it took a couple of years to see that the superintendent's priorities were literally not academic progress - during Covid he went all in on social service delivery through schools).
When we left, my son was a year behind in reading, he made that all up in the new district and ended 3rd at grade level (we also had tutoring during the summer before we moved). I am sad that the first district didn't work out and worry for families and staff stuck there because things are getting worse, but leadership hasn't changed, but don't regret our time in that school.
A huge concern I'd have about your situation is if private is a stretch right now, what happens if your economic situation gets worse at some point? Our housing cost went up when we moved but doesn't dramatically increase year to year and our incomes also have been increasing, so if we have a setback, hopefully it's easier to ride out than making tuition payments, which will increase annually. I look forward to when we can downsize and transfer some of this equity to savings, too.
I'd seriously consider making public work and investing in additional enrichment until you can viably move.
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u/shellysayswhat 5h ago
That's awful. Financially it might make sense to move versus paying private school fees, but that's just a lousy situation overall.
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u/ameelz 5h ago
This is what I’d do. It sucks to have to move but when you own a house you’re building equity versus just paying for education. I would never sacrifice my own retirement savings, or their college savings.
If you really don’t want to move, another option is to start organizing. Get together with the other parents, get to know them, build relationships and start demanding improvements at this “terrible” school. If the “good” school closed you are not the only Parent from a “good” neighborhood that is going through this. You have an opportunity (because you’re presumably of means whereas the parents at this “bad” school probably aren’t) to improve the school, especially if a lot of your neighbors are in the same boat.
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u/chloenleo 6h ago
I’d go to the better school and take the higher paying job- unless you want to keep them in public school and use your additional time from the lower paying job to supplement their education. I would not sacrifice retirement savings, and would try to at least continue to save some for college as possible. Can your partner earn more money? Does the Montessori school offer any financial aid?
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u/sizzlesfantalike 6h ago
lol I’m breadwinner so no. The financial aid is not for first year (only for reenrolment)and covers only 1/4 of tuition and is competitive.
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u/fizzywaterandrage 6h ago
Miss out on kids things for better school/pay.
I am a big supporter of public schools, I believe in what they represent… but I do not mess around when it comes to super high ratios of student/teacher and tech in the classroom. If it’s that bad it’s that bad and I will always vote/make my voice heard for improvements but I will not sacrifice my child at the altar of public schooling in the name of doing the “right” thing.
It SUCKS to not be able to be there for every recital, practice and game… but do you have any family willing to step in to bridge that gap? The reality of many many children is that there are big things in advance (big recital, big game) that are known in advance parents can and do take time off for to be there for and for everything else?? It’s just not possible.
I’d rather my kid be at a GOOD safe school getting the best education they can… even if it means they have to deal with the disappointment of me not always being there for extra-curriculars.
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u/SwingingReportShow 7h ago
Yeah that would make sense... even the best schools are struggling to teach kids to read so I would want my child to go to a good school. And like the other posters said, put your name on a lottery for other free options like magnet and (certain) charter schools
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u/acciocalm 6h ago
Your kids will not thank you for their Montessori kindergarten if it means they have to fund your retirement and medical bills.
I’ve never heard of a school in a single district having lower funding than the other schools in that same district - are you sure that’s the case?
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u/beergal621 4h ago
Agree on both.
Save now and then spend the money on private middle and high school if needed. Private kindergarten is over the top. At that age what you do at home and parental involvement matters so much more.
I also can’t believe one school was amazing and then next school was horrible. Yea of course there is variation within the district but that drastic one school over does not make sense.
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u/sizzlesfantalike 4h ago
It’s weird, we live right in the middle between highest income area and lowest income area, and it really shows in the schools. This school has been closed and reopened multiple times because the building has an envelope issue. The average tenure of teachers there is 2 years. There is no stem programming, after school activities attached, the library is a corner instead of a full room.
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u/SnooGiraffes1071 4h ago
I wonder if it's PTO funds. The district we left had schools with PTOs who had $50,000 + annual budgets and some with no PTO.
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u/ChrystnSedai 7h ago
We have a similar poor school district. Despite a budget in the $800 million plus for the district. It’s insane.
We are fortunate to be able to pay for private school, with a lot of careful budgeting and sacrifice.
The quote that pushed me over the should we / shouldn’t we cliff was:
“You’ll never regret investing in your children and their education.”
Do what you think is best for them, and you’ll have no regrets.
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u/bateleark 7h ago
I once asked my dad how he and my mom sent both my sister and I to college and higher education fully paid for (my sister is a surgeon and medical school was 250k. My private graduate degree was about 100k undergrad was around 50l each. He said "for your children you figure it out".
In this case I'd be figuring it out.
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u/acciocalm 6h ago
That’s a reply from your dad that comes from extreme privilege. I’m glad he could do that for you and your sister. But it’s not about love it’s about wealth. Your sister’s medical school alone was more than my mother in law made in ten years after taxes - and not because she didn’t work her ass off.
Op should not “figure it out” if that means digging into retirement. I’m guessing your dad had enough wealth to fund both.
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u/bateleark 4h ago
He did but it didn't all come from one place. He worked a white collar job as an engineer and my mom worked as a micro biologist. They knew that alone would not fund what they wanted for their kids so they also invested in businesses some of which failed and others that succeeded. To keep costs down they worked at those businesses themselves after their 9-5s ended. To invest they often entered partnerships with family or friends and some of those relationships were soured. So it wasn't just privilege which does exist, there was also an enormous amount of risky, very hard work, and sacrifice.
The actual statement from my dad was "what wouldn't you do for your children?" We all have different abilities, I'm extremely fortunate and grateful my parents had this, but OP and many other may have opportunities she/they aren't aware of either.
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u/sizzlesfantalike 3h ago
Hey I agree. My parents did the same. It was always “what can we do now to reach x goal?” And it was always for us kids. My big sister reminded me one time when we couldn’t afford meat so my mom, ever the problem solver, and my dad, the social butterfly, went around the neighborhood to pre-sell meat, bought a cow, slaughtered it and sent it out. We had meat for free and then some!
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u/QuitaQuites 5h ago
What’s the long term plan?
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u/sizzlesfantalike 5h ago
I wish I knew.
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u/QuitaQuites 4h ago
Well I just mean the Montessori school won’t get you through high school, right? So what’s the current high school option? What’s the word from parents on the public school.
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u/sizzlesfantalike 4h ago
The middle school and high school are decent, heck I’d be happy with a different elementary school that’s nearby. I wish we could leave this town completely.
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u/QuitaQuites 4h ago
Well if the middle and high school are decent you’re looking at how long until then and what’s the actual situation with the elementary school and the teachers themselves? The culture of the school itself despite some resources.
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u/makeitsew87 7h ago
I personally would be okay sacrificing college savings but not retirement savings. Being financially prepared for retirement is such a gift to your kids.