r/workingmoms • u/Last-Pip-7320 • 14h ago
Only Working Moms responses please. 6 months back from maternity leave and my heart just isn't in it
I've been in my current role for 3.5 years. Had a brilliant maternity leave with my son, but now 6 months in back at work and I'm struggling to pull myself together. I work in a corporate role, and it just isn't fulfilling any more.
I used to get a real kick from doing good work, but generally have always had to put on a performance at work, pretend I'm interested and invested. But now I'm barely managing to be convincing. I just don't care about the work and the corporate jargon has me constantly suppressing eye rolls. It's all so meaningless compared to my life/job as a mum.
Do other people feel like this? I'm contemplating whether I blow up with life with a complete career u-turn, or if this is just a normal feeling that will pass with time.
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u/newillium 14h ago
This is so normal, I actually treat it now as a gift. What matters is your family and work is second and now that you have the awareness, work for me feels more doable. I roll with the drama and punches more, because I know I'm replaceable. I reflect what every energy they give to me back to the job. I don't get hung up on things. My job brings me a lot of satisfaction and my family a lot of stability, so I focus on that.
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u/HarkHarley 13h ago
Totally normal! Personally, I remember thinking “Spreadsheets, really? This is my entire job?” When before a baby it all felt so important.
But I consider it a gift. My job allows work from home, unlimited PTO, a great paycheck, a slower pace, good insurance for my family, and stability. And now, it no longer takes my mental energy. I don’t feel the need to overperform, I don’t take things personally, I don’t get wrapped up in any drama, I leave my work at work, I have great work life boundaries. I can reserve all that mental energy on my family when I clock out.
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u/searcherbee123 4h ago
I agree with this. I try to remember that my job is just that, a job. It provides us stability and income and a good living. I can buy my daughter things and we’ll be able to pay for her college. As my working mom years progress (daughter is 5 now), I have definitely taken things less personally and am learning to care less, but it’s still something I’m working on.
Sometimes I get jealous when I hear people say they love their job or find real meaning in their job.
There have been many many times where I thought all
These feelings that OP describes means I should quit. But, I don’t want to make that sacrifice either (we could live on my husbands paycheck but it would be a serious socioeconomic blow).Motherhood changes you for sure!
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u/NorthernPossibility 14h ago
I’ve always viewed work as something that I do to earn time with my family.
What I do isn’t very exciting and I don’t go into work every day like “hell yeah what exciting challenges will I face today”. But it’s very flexible, I can work from home and the pay is pretty good.
I don’t need my job to provide grander fulfillment or fluff my ego. I just need the bills paid so I can spend time with my husband, my toddler and my friends.
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u/k_rowz 13h ago
In my experience, this is super normal. It actually took me almost 2 years postpartum before I felt back to my pre-baby self, in terms of work but also in terms of my physical fitness/health, friendships, and hobbies! Isn’t that wild?!
I thought there was something wrong with me!
In a way, I can’t ever go back to my pre-baby work attitude because I don’t have unlimited time and energy to give anymore.
BUT one day, I will. When my children are older. And until then, I am providing stability, insurance, and I get amazing PTO.
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u/mixedmediamadness 14h ago
I was in a very high intensity role when I gave birth. I couldn't do it anymore. Just couldn't make myself care enough. Had to switch to something slower paced after a year. If I hadn't changed jobs I know they would have fired me for under performing
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u/Active_Recording_789 13h ago
Yes completely the same with me. Giving birth to a new life is so mind-blowingly meaningful, you just had your entire world rocked. I’ll bet every time you even watch a movie you’re thinking, this character was once a baby whose mom loved him like I love my baby. Anyway, you’ll transition back into your working self, just be patient. And plan all your non working hours with your baby :) we’ll not ALL. You need you time also
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u/Last-Pip-7320 11h ago
Haha yes - totally thinking this when I watch TV nowadays! My empathy levels have gone crazy, but I'm seeing that as a good thing :) thank you
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u/emmapeel218 12h ago
I agree with most everyone else—it just means your priorities are now different and in the right order. You may get the work mojo back, but things will never be the same after kids.
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u/drhopsydog 12h ago
This is normal! My daughter is a year old and only now do I feel more like myself at work again.
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u/Jaded_Ad_1587 11h ago
People have shared great thoughts here so will just add that while this feeling never went away for me I got better at faking it 9 month postpartum which coincides with when my hormones started to feel normal again. Embrace the new priorities - knowing work emergencies are generally not and you are there to do what needs to be done to get that paycheck and nothing more.
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u/maybeahemhem 11h ago
Been there for sure, the first 12 months back were gruelling and my heart wasn’t in it anymore. But then something snapped back into place, we found a routine with my now toddler, we as a family got into a better groove of things, I became more present and productive at work, and I am now almost 2 years back and I’m glad to have stuck it out.
So personally, it was a phase that passed for me.
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u/bahamamamadingdong 11h ago
Totally normal. I feel it even more after having my second because they want me to do even more now. I don't have it in me and I also don't care. I never cared about climbing the ladder and now I extra don't. I just need money so my kids can have a home and eat berries.
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u/JessicaM317 11h ago
This is how I felt (and still feel). My child is now almost 3, but when I was fresh back to work I wanted to quit so many times. I just did not care about any of it. Honestly, I still don't care, but I don't hate it as much as I did before. I definitely don't give it as much as I used to. I get my work done but I don't go above and beyond anymore. I don't work late, I don't take on extra work, etc. I just do what I'm paid to do. Clock in and out for what I'm paid for, and call it a day.
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u/No_Morning5397 10h ago
I am going through the same debate now. My daughter is 3 and Im pregnant. I work a corporate project management job that is extremely flexible.
But I just dont care, I want to quit and find something a little more fulfilling. Even something like customer service, where I actually help people, seems like a dream right now.
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u/Last-Pip-7320 5h ago
Yes! I wonder this. If I was doing a role where I was actually helping people, or making the world a tiny bit better, would I be happier? Or is it just an idealistic thought, and I'd miss the benefits of my current career. Would love if someone who took the plunge could tell us how it turned out!
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u/VivianDiane 7h ago
Very common. Your brain rewired. Don't quit yet. Try part-time or a lateral move. Give it 6 months. If still hate it, plan a u-turn. You're not alone. Be gentle.
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u/Fkingcherokee 11h ago
My job is my "second job." My main job of being a mom takes priority for scheduling and I'm just at my paycheck job for the money. Extra effort is a hard pass, I'll work my ass off on company time but I'm done the moment I'm not being paid, and I don't care about short staffed or write ups if my kid needs me.
With that in mind, I absolutely HATE the school for short notice. I haven't made a single parent-invited party or field trip because they want to let you know only days or maybe a week beforehand.
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u/themoneybeetbandit 5h ago
Yes this is me. I retuned to work 4 months ago and everything I do at work just seems so pointless now. Especially because my entire salary goes towards childcare (I have 2 in daycare and 2 in afterschool care).
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u/martinojen 14h ago
It’s completely normal because your priorities have completely changed! If you can stick with it and just get into work mode when you are there but once work is done, be home with your baby, you are good. If you have job stability and some tenure there, some flexibility, I would keep the job you can. Things also balance out a bit after more time - 6 months is just freshly back to work.