r/workingmoms • u/Any-Spirit-6413 • 5d ago
Only Working Moms responses please. People in Lactation Room
I work in a male-dominated field and luckily there is a nice lactation room that I can access throughout the day. However I’m thinking about asking to change the code for the lock, because on three separate occasions I’ve encountered other people using the lactation room for other needs. And I returned to work less than a month ago!
I’m pretty confident that I’m the only nursing mother at my office, because there is zero evidence of anyone else ever using the space for pumping; everything stays exactly where I’ve put it, there is never any extra trash in the trash cans, no other milk in the fridge, etc.
I walked into today and there was a woman taking a meeting in there, and during my pumping session someone knocked on the door despite there being signs that say “Lactation room: In use”. It seems very invasive and strange, especially that other people have the code. Last week a man straight up walked in while my boobs were out.
Would it be rude to ask to get it changed?? I don’t mind responses from anyone, that’s just the flair that fits the post best.
UPDATE: Thank you to everyone who encouraged me to reach out to HR. They responded very quickly, were very apologetic, and are putting different lock on the room next week that will restrict access and they can look into who’s trying to get in there when they don’t have access.
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u/ais72 5d ago
I think it’s DEFINITELY fair game to raise the question with HR or office manager. I had to pump at an agency I work with recently and they had to start locking the room with a key you pick up from reception because people were using the room for non-lactation purposes
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u/Fantasy-Bookkeeper 4d ago
I found a cleaning lady asleep in the lactation room once. Then that SAME woman walked into the lactation room while I was pumping, cleaned one station (there's two, lots of people in the building), and then peaked her head around to look at me and ask if she could clean the one I was using now!!!! Like, my machine is quiet, but she DEFINITELY knew I was in there pumping.
Not to mention the time I put my milk in the fridge, then building maintenance came through and unplugged it to defrost it and just left a note. They later tried to claim there was no milk in the fridge when they did that, except I have set times on my calendar that I pump. So they got reprimanded but still work there.
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u/thewhaler 5d ago
My work's lactation room has key badge access and I had to request access to it from facilities. Only people with approved access can get it. Best policy! There are tons of other places people can use to take meetings in my office though, it's huge.
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u/salaciousremoval 5d ago
This is also how it works at our offices. You have to be in an approved group for badge access. Works great!
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u/catjuggler 5d ago
That’s what mine was too and it’s really ideal. Any big building should work this way.
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u/dragonstkdgirl 5d ago
I'd report up on that. Lactation at work is federally protected and people don't need to be using that room when there's moms with legitimate needs for it. It's not a conference room.
At my work the lactation room was a metal folding chair and a sink. There used to be a couch in there til people got caught in there having sex on it, so they took it out, ruining it for moms that actually could have benefited from it. That pissed me off.
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u/nyokarose 5d ago
Amazing that the solution was remove the couch, not get a lock for the door…
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u/dragonstkdgirl 5d ago
RIGHT?? and it's a freaking state agency too
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u/sansa_usagi 5d ago
This happened at my work too! I’m also at a state agency! They didn’t remove the couch to my knowledge in ours, but I would walk in and people would be sleeping, eating lunch, FaceTiming friends. I’m just glad I didn’t walk in on the couple, haha.
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u/Icy-Gap4673 Sweating and having a bad time 5d ago
I can't imagine anything less sexy than my office. Those people must have been down extremely bad.
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u/cataholicsanonymous 5d ago
Omg 💀
Maybe the couple who got caught were working on making a legitimate reason to use the room 🤣
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u/slumberingthundering 5d ago
I work in facilities, definitely ask!!! I've had to kick people out of the lactation room a few times. It's not a break room, it's federally mandated and protected. And as someone who's used it, I will defend the shit out of it lol
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u/rousseuree 5d ago
We added the Mothers Room to our office Outlook calendar so the moms could coordinate and pre-schedule their time (just like any other meeting) bc there were a couple of us, AND there’s a sign on the door. Any time I saw a man taking a call I booted him right outta there! And even when I saw a woman I asked her to politely leave and explained why. It’s such a cultural norm to either support or ignore the rules around those rooms.
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u/atxcactus 5d ago
It only happened to me a few times, but I did the same. Cheerfully let whoever was in the room that it was time for me to pump so they needed to relocate.
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u/meguin 5d ago
Yeah, I don't get people who think it's fine to use the mother's room for whatever. At my previous job, I had an issue with a dude who liked to chill in there and watch anime. (Until I embarrassed the crap out of him and he never did it again lol.)
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u/Silver_Mango2606 4d ago
Ooo story timeee!!
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u/sammmbie 5d ago
I would definitely flag for your HR or facilities team; you have every right to do so and to insist on privacy and respect for the room's (legally mandated!) purpose.
When I returned to work after leave, our lactation room was not-infrequently occupied by people who were looking for any quiet space. (It wasn't locked by code, only locked from the inside, so if it was unoccupied anyone could just go in.) Once I even stumbled into a guy taking a nap in there. Bleh. I was also the only nursing mother in my (somewhat small office), and the room had been ready and going unused for a while -- so people just had a habit of using it for other things, and that habit needed to be corrected now that it was needed for its actual purpose.
I nervously brought it up to my favorite HR person lol, and she was SO apologetic and kind. Got a very stern sign on the door right away and looked into locking access to it for nursing moms only. The problem faded and, eventually, the company grew, and other moms started using it, too -- so the boundary stuck.
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u/myheartbeats4hotdogs 5d ago
Hr should absolutely take this seriously, this is about federal law and leaves them open to all kinds of headaches around fmla, workmans comp, harassment, ada. They dont want that nightmare, they should come down like a ton of bricks on this.
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u/myheartbeats4hotdogs 5d ago
14 years ago I came back from maternity leave to our new lactation room. Wasnt long before I was having to kick out men napping and even a couple of summer interns making out. I went full send on hr about being unable to access the federally mandated lactation room to pump and experiencing pain and being at risk for mastitis. They installed a lock with code only given to lactating mothers and changed it quarterly.
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u/starlagreen83 5d ago
Absolutely have it changed!!! The lactation room at my facility was built for me when I was pregnant. Three other nursing women have used it since then, it is used for printer paper storage when not in active use. But the code gets changed every time a new nursing mother has to access it (never had more than 1 at one time)
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u/indicatprincess 5d ago
I would definitely email HR and them to change it. Stress that people are using it as meeting space and preventing you from expressing properly.
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u/strawberry-pesto 5d ago
I agree. Perhaps they can change from a code punch entry to one that is coded to employee ID cards, granting access only to those that are eligible to use the lactation room.
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u/EagleEyezzzzz 5d ago
I would 100% take this to HR and make them remind the entire organization that it's only to be used by breastfeeding mothers.
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u/zagsforthewin 5d ago
Ummm people knocking means I’m stressed, my milk production just plummeted.
Yes, please ask to change the code. Maybe an updated sign with the intended use for the space too so those who have been using it don’t immediately get mad when they’re locked out? Assuming they read the new sign, of course.
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u/Any-Spirit-6413 5d ago
That’s the thing, this is a brand new office and the sign on the doors say “Lactation Room” and you can slide it to say “Available” or “In Use”. That’s the only place I can pump in my office and there are so many empty offices and rooms for people to take calls in, it’s just frustrating lol
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u/zagsforthewin 5d ago
I say add a sign that says: the lactation space is for lactating individuals only. If you do not fit that description, please do not use this space as cleanliness is extremely important when pumping. Other spaces available for general use: (list)
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u/neubie2017 5d ago
We have a calendar for the lactation room and a code. You have to talk to HR to get the code and be added to the calendar. Once in the calendar you put in the times you plan on using it. If you go, and someone is in it and they aren’t scheduled you can kick them out. It’s worked really well.
We have a public building so randos were using the room for privacy. The lock helped a lot
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u/VapidBirthplace 5d ago
Not rude at all. Push back on this one. You've got federal law on your side and it sounds like your office doesn't have clear boundaries around that space. A locked code that only you have access to is the right call, and honestly it's the easiest fix for everyone. HR should handle it without drama since lactation rooms are protected under federal law anyway. Your coworkers can take their meetings anywhere else.
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u/Elrohwen 5d ago
Definitely not rude to ask to change it. My work keeps a list of who has asked for access and after a year or so reaches out and asks people if they still need it or not and then takes it away if they don’t. It’s badged so that’s easy to do, but with a code I think it would be reasonable to change it once a year or something and ask people if they still use for the intended purpose and then give them the new code.
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u/TemperatureBest5113 5d ago
Please do. I remember when I needed it before, a lot of women (I assume moms who once needed it) are using it to eat and sleep. Now I do really understand and empathize with moms who need alone time and to catch up to sleep but please pumping comes first.
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u/Icy-Gap4673 Sweating and having a bad time 5d ago
It would not be rude, and you should definitely ask.
When I was pumping, the room they gave me had been a floater office and people were used to doing calls in there. But only one time I got in and someone was camped out in there. I was able to use my boss's office because she was working from home, but that was just luck. (If only we gave everyone offices these days instead of jamming us into open cubes... sigh)
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u/carielicat 5d ago
Absolutely ask for them to change the code and remind everyone what lactation room means. It's ridiculous you're having to deal with those issues!
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u/Suspicious-Chip-341 5d ago
At my office I only know of one room on our 3rd floor (of a 4 story building) and people use it for prayer and lactation. What sucks is there’s a total of like 400 or more people in this building so I’m not sure how they plan on using it but I’ve rarely seen new moms at my office since COVID. I knew one girl who had a baby but I never saw her bring anything to pump.
I would definitely ask HR or someone higher up for clarification to everyone on what that room should be used for
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u/jaclyn824 5d ago edited 5d ago
I know you have plenty of answers, but absolutely say something. I’m generally very anti-conflict, but I would have no issues or embarrassment over HR sending out an email emphasizing that the lactation room is only to be used for pumping mothers. If the room is technically for other uses as well, they need to set up some sort of calendar to reserve spots and send out an email detailing that.
ETA: You mentioned there being a code on the door, changing that seems like an easy solution and I don’t see HR pushing back on that request at all. However, the email might still be helpful because you never know who will somehow still get access to the code.
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u/BubChelli 5d ago
I'm a teacher, when I was returning to work I explained to my boss that I'm still breast feeding and would need to pump.
We have allowances a part of our EA to accommodate that, however some principals can just be terrible people for the sake of it.
I was told to pump in my office where anyone could access at anytime. A mini fridge was put in but everyone started to use it for their lunch because 'it was the clean fridge'. My office had a large window that could see into a large courtyard. A group of students were ALWAYS in there. When I asked for this situation to be reassessed, I was told I couldn't have a space just to myself and it was unreasonable to think otherwise.
It became harder and harder to pump as more people didn't respect my boundaries and eventually I had to stop because it became impossible.
I would have fought harder for my rights, if I knew what I know now.
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u/dj_no_dreams 5d ago
I had the lactation room all to myself, naturally being the only mother who is breastfeeding. But then people around the office started complaining and demanding use of the room for their naps or whatever. So now the office manager added a calendar on outlook to schedule time in the lactation room. It’s dumb.
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u/new-beginnings3 3d ago
My office just did this and it really pissed me off despite the fact that I'm not pumping anymore. If you need a nap, go to your car. This only exists because of federal law protecting the space for pumping, and the men in my field already get all sorts of advantages. Let us have this one thing!
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u/Clear-Intention-285 5d ago
I would let your employer know what is happening but leave it up to them to problem solve and offer solutions.
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u/hypnotic_novella 5d ago
Changing the code is reasonable, that room has one job and people shouldn't be using it as a phone booth when you need it for actual medical reasons.
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u/Effective_Pie1312 5d ago
My former work place had a health and wellness room that was also the lactation room. HR provided the accommodations and permissions to use it. I would use it when I had a severe migraine. I would check with HR before making assumptions and see if you can get priority permission to use it or a way to book it like you would book a meeting room
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u/UESfoodie 5d ago
HR here. Absolutely have them change the code. If you worked for my company, I’d be happy to kick people out of the room for you
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u/jackbeannn 5d ago
Absolutely contact HR & get that lock changed. I would feel so violated. I pumped at work for a year and they did everything to make it work for me and I was so appreciative of it.
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u/sasamibun 5d ago
I'm in the "take it to HR" camp. If these people are so blatantly ignoring the use restrictions on a lactation room, they're almost certainly ignoring other things that could get the company in real trouble. Like ADA protections and requirements.
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u/Sorchochka 5d ago
I’d talk to HR. If no one has used it for that in a while, people might be complacent. HR should give the heads up that there is someone who needs to use it, so they can back off.
And if they can, restrict badge access.
This happened to me with the customer service reps using it as a private break room. I had to go to HR and they emailed the managers and it stopped.
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u/deeisqueenasf 5d ago
This happens to me too!!! I book the room for times when I need to pump, and regularly have to kick people out. It’s so infuriating.
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u/Mcsangbang 5d ago
I rose hell with HR when this happened to me only two times lol so completely fair to reach out to them!!
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u/GlitterLitter88 5d ago
I’m a teacher. We had one Percy janitor who always found his way into my room when I was pumping.
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u/Mustard-cutt-r 5d ago
If I may just dovetail off of this and express my irritation for single men who come out of the airport FAMILY RESTROOM. more often than not they also just took the most disgusting smelling shit.
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u/NoLeg9483 5d ago
I was a building manager and the amount of times I had to tell men to GTFO of the lactation room.. they would somehow get the code.
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u/Embarrassed-Flyy 5d ago
Definitely go to HR. This happened at my work office before. Had a guy knock on the door so aggressively, I was scared , all because he was putting his drinks and snacks in the fridge there..
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u/sarahbeenyc 5d ago
Definitely flag to HR, I had a similar situation and they made the room bookable through Outlook so there’s not overlap (& they explicitly told the office that it’s prioritized for lactating mothers)
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u/Any-Spirit-6413 5d ago
I’m almost 100% sure I’m the only person who uses it for its intended purpose; it’s designated only for lactating mothers.
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u/tequilapunrise 4d ago
Yes this happened to me.. people would put their lunch in the fridge, take meetings, etc. I finally got fed up with somebody’s stinky lunch taking up the whole fridge and said something. It was never an issue after that, they changed the locks and sent an email out from HR asking people to stop.
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u/Nataliza 4d ago
A man WALKED IN TO THE ROOM while you were in there?? I'd be absolutely livid. So glad you spoke to HR.
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u/tonypolar 5d ago
Agree with everything you said- also when I would pump in my office, people constantly barged in no matter what I did, even if there was a damn sign !
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u/zebracakesfordays 5d ago
I made a report to HR when another woman wasn’t following the rules for the lactaction room. She didn’t stick to the times she booked it. Multiple times she was on the room during my session and she also interrupted me a couple times because she needed to grab her milk and leave. It really pissed me off because the rooms were pretty busy! Anyways, HR talked to her.
Glad you are planning to reach out. Hope your issues are resolved.
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u/Civil_Piccolo_4179 1d ago
Wow I just read this and with the update. I am sorry your sacred space is being abused for other things. That is absolutely not ok. You are still a protected class and if your job has a policy to provide you a dedicated space they are not adhering to it. I’m not sure when or why the abuse of the space started or who gave the OK but there needs to be a very clear statement email that the lactation room is for lactating mothers no other use therefore the locks will be changed. Anyone needing the space needs to email and seek “approval” (I say that gently because I mean David can’t ask for the code he’s a dude and not a lactating woman) for the code for verified use. This is wild I would lose my shit because when I had my first child I was making so much milk I’d leak terribly all over every 3 hours I needed to pump, got mastitis and all that too. I’m glad it’s rectified.
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u/msjammies73 5d ago
Can you reserve the times you need and put the schedule on the door?
It seems like blocking a room all the time to everyone wouldn’t be needed as long as you’re able to access it when you need it.
If there were other nursing moms, you’d be sharing the space too.
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u/BeatPretty7238 5d ago
Yeah absolutely would want clarification on uses for the room, priority availability for its intended use, and protected privacy.
You’re not being crazy. If they need quiet spaces for other purposes, they should make that room elsewhere.