r/workingmoms • u/Enough_Bullfrog_1322 • Apr 10 '26
Daycare Question Daycare does my daughters hair
Coming here because I know you guys understand mom guilt. My husband does daycare drop off most days. I try to get my daughter ready for the day but we are always in a rush and sometimes I have to leave before she is 100% ready, but I do make sure that I do her hair at the very least. Nothing complicated, she’s almost two and doesn’t have a ton of hair so typically just ponies or pig tails or maybe little buns, basically just try to get as much hair up as possible. 90% of the days she comes home with her hair done completely different, admittedly better than I can do it. It’s starting to make me wonder if they are judging her hair and thinking my husband is doing it because they only see him in the morning? I know I’m probably over thinking this but I’m also pregnant and coming to the end of my busy season and this just feels like another area of my life that I’m slacking in and the teachers are subtly calling me out for
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u/trUth_b0mbs Apr 10 '26
no judgement by them at all.
when my daughter was in daycare she'd come home with braids and other fancy hair styles but that was because:
1) she asked for them
2) one of the teachers also did hair on the side and loved to practice on the kids if they asked for it.
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u/thisismyhumansuit Apr 10 '26
Same here. One daycare had a girl that loved doing hair. Another daycare had a girl that was the oldest of 9 siblings and just enjoyed it. My kid liked feeling special while getting her hair done. No guilt to be had.
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u/rusty___shacklef0rd Apr 10 '26
Also, children take their hair down or it falls out, especially at nap time. Remember- they're there for a long time! As a former preschool teacher, when I first started out I didn't really do hair and if a kids hairdo fell out or they took it out, I wouldn't touch it. But then some parents got upset I wasn't fixing their hair so, I started to fix undone hair before pick up time to avoid further complaints.
Also, to add, I never judged parents for their kids hair bc I know how kids are!
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u/Alligator382 Apr 11 '26
They even gave my son a little top pony with the small amount of hair he had. He had felt left out because they were doing some of the girls’ hair and asked to have his hair done. He was maybe 2 at the time? He was excited to show me the tiny squirt of hair with the hair tie around it.
Daycare workers are definitely not judging the kids’ hair! Especially if it isn’t a tangled rat’s nest. They don’t care what kind of creative or fancy style the parent has done. They are just playing with the kids’ hair who enjoy it.
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u/jobunny_inUK Apr 10 '26
Same. My daughter has fine hair and it’s always falling out of her hair tie. One of the gal loves to braid and I think my daughter just asks. It’s not every day but maybe a few times a month she comes home with a different braid style.
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u/Sweetsnteets Mod / 2 kids, tech marketing 🇨🇦 Apr 10 '26
Not at all. Your daughter probably enjoys it and I’m sure the teachers do too. My daughter comes home with different hair styles and it’s adorable. Consider it to be a way of showing how much they care about your daughter ❤️
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u/onetwotree-leaf Apr 10 '26
Enjoy it her teachers are giving her one-on-one time with a loving touch
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u/JessicaM317 Apr 10 '26
It is probably more likely that she is taking her ponies out or her hair is messed up after nap time so they fix it and just do something fun with it because they want to or have time.
My daughter is 2.5 and absolutely refuses to let us do her hair. If I'm lucky, I can get a single pony in. She'll come home with such fun hairstyles and she's so proud of her hair and says "my teacher did it!"
You're overthinking it. Don't stress.
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u/rootbeer4 Apr 10 '26
This was my thought too. Her hair probably gets messy when she plays or sleeps so daycare staff fix her up.
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u/mango_salsa1909 Apr 11 '26
Yes, likely the nap situation. I'm a toddler teacher, we take everyone's hair down at nap so that they can sleep more comfortably and then we do their hair again when they wake up. We often do a different hairstyle than what they came with, just because it's fun. 😊
Edit: a word
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u/pennoya_neutral Apr 10 '26
The teachers at my kid's daycare always do the kids hair.
They did my daughter's hair when she was little and now my son goes to the same daycare and he'll come home with tiny little piggy tails sometimes haha.
I think it's just a sweet and tender thing to do for a toddler.
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u/willreadforbooks Apr 10 '26
My son with through a pig tail phase (mostly due to his older sister, I think) and it was the cutest.
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u/pepperup22 1 preschooler Apr 10 '26
My son frequently comes home with ponytails because he asks for them haha
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u/basicmominclt Apr 10 '26
When my boy was a toddler he got the cutest braids or man-buns at daycare because he had these long corkscrew curls and he loved the attention.
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u/spiritussima Apr 10 '26
Been there and just told myself they enjoyed doing hair salon bonding at daycare. I don't have time to do cute hairstyles (also morning-head sensitivity means I'd get bit if I tried) and they have plenty of time and seem to want to do it. Leave the guilt there.
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u/Gardenadventures Apr 10 '26
Lol my daughter won't even let me do her hair 60% of the time but always comes home in pig tails. Her teachers are great at doing her hair and say she loves to ask for her "pony"
Take it as a sign your teachers enjoy working with your child and don't overthink it.
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u/amomymous23 Apr 10 '26
SAME. “can mommy do your hair?” “NO ONLY TEACHER”
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u/3birds1dog Apr 11 '26
I used to work with a child with sensory issues that wouldn’t let anyone cut his hair so Mom did it while he slept and it was not the best haircut (in the words of his sweet Mom.) He would sit down and let me trim up the random strands and even graduated to letting me trim his nails. His mom was so thankful that I could get him regulated enough to tolerate a sensory rich and ultimately unpleasant experience for him. I never judged her, she never resented me. It takes a village.
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u/South-Helicopter-514 Apr 10 '26
I get the over thinking, I'd probably do it too. I wouldn't take this as a sign of judgement, I'd take it as a sign of affection and care. What does your daughter think of it? It's probably a fun and silly way to pass the time, with bonus cute hair.
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u/Mysterious-Sell-1331 Apr 10 '26
I used to work at a daycare and we never judged kids hair. We did their hair because we enjoyed it, and the kids loved it! Well, most of them haha. We obviously didn’t do hair unless kids wanted us to.
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u/pixiehutch Apr 10 '26
It might be good to examine that mom guilt, it seems like your default is to think that you are doing something wrong, that's a tough place to live. Maybe you could challenge some of those default thoughts patterns and challenge yourself to think that you are doing a good job and assume that others agree
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u/Saaltychocolate Apr 10 '26
I work in a daycare. The teachers just play salon with the kids and they line up wanting their hair done. 99% of the time, it’s not coming from judgement. Some kids just want an Elsa braid.
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u/angeluscado Apr 10 '26
Honestly it’s probably out of necessity. My three year old has always taken out any style I’ve put in her hair, and has done so since she was aware of stuff in her hair (she was born with a full head of hair). I gave up doing her hair for preschool and just made sure it was brushed. It helps that she has bangs/a fringe so her hair isn’t falling into her face all day.
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u/Well_ImTrying Apr 10 '26
As long as it’s brushed and clean, they aren’t judging you, they just like doing their hair. I asked. I don’t know how they get mine to sit for a French braid when she barely lets me brush it, but I’ll take advantage and take cute pictures when they do.
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u/lh123456789 Apr 10 '26
If you need to rush out the door, there's zero reason why your husband can't learn to do basic hairstyles.
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u/Bleak_Midwinter_ Apr 10 '26
This. My husband who’s never touched / attempted long hair care before our daughter can do a ponytail in about 30 seconds. Is it how I’d do it? No. Is it functional so we can all get moving? Absolutely. Do I shut up and let them argue it out? Most definitely 🤣
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u/ElephantShoes256 Apr 10 '26
Maybe the dad is already busy with other things...? She's not saying she doesn't have time to do her daughter's hair, she's just saying that the daycare re-does it in a fancier way and she's worried they're judging her hair. The dad doing her hair in a basic way instead won't change that.
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u/Enough_Bullfrog_1322 Apr 10 '26
He can do basic hairstyles when he has to. He frequently spends entire days with her where I don’t see her till bedtime because of work and he is a great father. It’s just if I only have time to do one thing for her in the morning it’s going to be doing her hair vs any of the other morning routine
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u/BlueRoses7789 Apr 10 '26
Not at all! It’s sometimes sort of an activity at ours. I’ve gotten photos of my 2yo son who has pretty short hair with pigtails because all of his friends were getting them done and he wanted to too! 🤣 It was adorable!
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u/metoaT Apr 11 '26
Oh our daycare girls always do different things w the girls hair! It slows down when they get older and are moving around more but my girl came Home w some cute hair fairly often! I think it’s just a sign of good caregiving (in my case! We had 0 red flags)
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u/basicmominclt Apr 10 '26
Our daycare teachers just love doing the girls’ hair, I would not take any offense! The days can be long and it’s fun way to interact with the kids during free play time, especially the more intricate styles.
I asked once and they said they love doing my daughter’s hair in particular because she is willing to sit and let them do it when some of the other girls run off. I would just ask them for tips if she seems to like it! Now at 5 my girl is always asking for fancy hair styles but I do ponytails only except on the weekends, ain’t nobody got time for that.
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u/starrylightway Free Palestine 🇵🇸 Sudan 🇸🇩 DRC 🇨🇩 Apr 10 '26
When my almost 3yo son had long hair, it was always messy in the afternoon. And so was every other toddler’s hair. We had camera access so I could see what was happening. The teachers had a line of toddlers waiting for them to fix their hair. I could tell it was a favorite activity for both the teachers and kids.
I’m currently pregnant with #2 and it’s a girl (per NIPT). I’m honestly relieve the daycare workers like doing the kids’ hair cause it’s just not my thing even for myself 😂
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u/lizzy_pop Apr 11 '26
A daycare working isn’t going to take the time to do her hair over just cause they think you suck it all. If they wanted to judge you, they’d just gossip about it.
The hair is probably getting messy at nap time and their redoing it to keep it out of her face
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u/Imaginary_Cellist493 Apr 10 '26
I had the exact same thought process myself recently. Our toddlers hair is done by us in the mornings 95% of the time, but most days was coming home with hair that had been re-done. I also wondered if daycare was judging my hair skills or what the reason was. One day in casual conversation with her daycare providers it came out that the kids hair can get pretty wonky after nap and they usually re-do it for the kids that want it. And knowing my girl, even if her hair doesn’t need re-done she really likes to be included in what other kids do and enjoys getting her hair done.
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u/Appropriate-Lime-816 1 toddler in daycare; remote W2 employee Apr 10 '26
One of my daughter’s teachers used to work at a hair salon. They play hair salon often. It’s a fun activity for the kids and teaches them about holding still. It’s also special 1:1 time for the kids
This teacher’s daughter also attends the school. Nearly everyday her daughter has a basic pony. Why? Because mornings are hard with everyone trying to rush out the door. They’re a lot different than sitting around thinking “and how am I going to entertain 12 toddlers for 8 hours today??”
The teachers know ❤️
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u/Sad-Seaworthiness946 Apr 10 '26
Oh man when they do my kid’s hair I get so happy. I only just brush it (she’s also is about to be 2 yearly old and doesn’t have much hair to work with).
I know that some of the kids at her daycare have actual hair styles (like pigtails and braids), and I’m pretty sure mine just plops down near them and demands her hair get done as well. Because she kinda does that at home with me.
When she comes home with a little braid or something I get excited because she looks so cute. I never considered I was being judged for it.
I have a cousin who used to work at a daycare and she says that she just enjoys doing some of the kid’s hair as a relaxing activity for the child and the daycare worker together.
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u/katiesaid Apr 10 '26
I've been on both the mum and nursery worker side of this story. It's just a cute thing to do with the children who like having their hair done!
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u/JavaScriptGirlie Apr 10 '26
Our 1st daycare did this all the time and I loved it - they loved doing her hair and I can’t do much more than a braid! They did so many cool styles.
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u/corlana Apr 10 '26
My 3 year old loves when her teachers do her hair! They do it for several kids and I think they all enjoy it. I do get jealous sometimes because I want to do that with her too and she does let me sometimes! But I try not to stress about it
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u/laughorcrydoordie Apr 10 '26
It probably just gets wrecked throughout the day so they redo it. And they probably have many years of practice.
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u/vco19 Apr 10 '26
Our daughter rarely lets us do her hair - even a basic unbrushed ponytail - but the teachers do these elaborate braids. She enjoys it, the other girls get theirs done, and I enjoy seeing the cute styles! Take it as a positive.
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u/thrillingrill Apr 10 '26
So many daycare teachers do this. Mine add bows and stuff to my daughter's hair sometimes!
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u/disrunner93 Apr 10 '26
My daughter is 4.5 now and girl, let me tell you, I LOVE when her teachers do something to her hair, she loves it, and they always tell me they like doing it and do more than just hers. They do the cutest braids.
Take the W. This, to me, is a sign of how much they love your kiddo. It takes a village. They are your village.
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u/Mper526 Apr 10 '26
My daughters used to come home with the cutest braids and hairstyles from one of their daycare teachers. They just like doing it, and the kids like it too.
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u/corgimama84 Apr 10 '26
I worked at a daycare and when you see someone doing a child’s hair, all of them will want their hair done. As long as no one is cutting the hair, I think the are just doing hair for fun.
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u/Salty-Step-7091 Apr 10 '26
Daycare does the same for my daughter’s hair and I love it! Your thought process has never crossed my mind.
You’re overthinking it.
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u/User_name_5ever Apr 11 '26
It's a chain reaction. A lot of times, all the little girls would end up with cute little buns or ponies because one girl asked and then all the rest wanted it too. It's also an easy way to occupy them or wind them down or get out of a funk. I always loved it.
Our first daycare would also cut nails for us because the kids sit still so much better there. I really miss that. 80% considering asking our current in home daycare to try.
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u/cheesecakesurprise Apr 11 '26
Are they non Americans? My daughter’s daycare is South American and they always did elaborate things in her hair and it was out of love never guilt/judgement. They put all the kids in a line haha
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u/dluke96 Apr 11 '26
Don’t. We have caregiver who loves to do the little girls hair. My daughter will sit better for her than for me. Honestly, I think it’s a way to pass time
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u/mrsmuffs Apr 11 '26
No judgement. Our daycare always loves doing my kiddos hair. She loves it and they love it. I love seeing what styles they come up with!
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u/40pukeko Apr 11 '26
You're overthinking it. This happened to me a couple of times, my kid (almost 2) has a TON of hair and she fights me when I try to style it so I'm usually just getting it into a ponytail at best.
She kept coming home with cute styles and I just asked about it. I said "her hair was so cute yesterday, did she just ... Let you do it?" And the teachers said oh yeah, all the little girls like line up for it, they love when the teachers play salon with them. Great! No further questions. At this point I sometimes drop her off and say "good luck with that hair" on days she's been particularly uncooperative.
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u/cheekymonkeysmom Apr 11 '26
Omg same! My kid comes home with the most beautiful hair, and I definitely did not do it. I also don’t have time in the morning to fetch and hold down a writhing feral child to agonizingly tease out the knots in her hair. If I’m lucky, half of it gets up out of her face. On the best of days. On the worst of days, she has the wild hair of Medusa. I try to put the mom guilt out of my brain because a) she sits still for them, not me. b) other kids model the hair, the patience, the technique, c) I was told the one staffer loves to do the girls hair cuz she has two wild boys lol! (One other staffer is a student temp with more time than I lol). I just take in the adorable style and make sure she says thank you. ❤️ (oh I also bought a bunch of elastics to replace the ones she’s brought home, as a small thank you).
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u/cocobellocco Apr 11 '26
They do my daghters hair as well. She has such a fine hair and does not sit still if I try to braid it so usually the pony and pig tails are off in an hour.
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u/Bigbootybigproblems Apr 11 '26
My son has a ton of hair, thick as all get out, and will flip tf out when it’s time to do it. Some days, the best my nerves could do was just two braids going back. His daycare teachers adored him and I’m assuming he cooperated with them better than me because sometimes he would come home with a different style or braided better than I could with his flailing. I never took it as judgment, just help for an already overwhelmed soul lol. If it were truly an issue, they would tell you. Don’t stress yourself out about it.
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u/OwlPlus8330 Apr 13 '26
Don’t feel guilt! In my case, I have plenty of time to do my daughter’s hair in the mornings (I work from home. Dad brings her to daycare most days.) I am good at hair. I send her in French braids, space buns, pigtails, barrettes, you name it… Even so, she comes home with a different hairstyle at least once a week. A lot of the floaters at her daycare are young women and they simply think it’s fun to do the girl’s hair. My daughter adores these teachers and if she sees her friends getting their hair done, she wants it too!
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u/whoseflooristhis Apr 13 '26
Once my son came home with a little “unicorn horn” ponytail because all the girls were getting their hair done so he wanted it too. Sometimes one wants or needs it and then they all want it. Don’t feel bad, it’s sweet that someone there does it for her.
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u/GoodbyeEarl 3 kids, office 9-5 job Apr 10 '26
My daughter comes home with her hair done all the time. I never do my girls hair! You’re not alone. I don’t care if they judge me, though I suspect they don’t.
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u/neverabadidea Apr 10 '26
Our daycare teachers seem to like doing hair, as long as there aren’t a bunch of kids in yet. I’ve gone in and seen them doing hair and chatting away. My kiddo has a wild mane of curly hair, I’ve definitely been in a rush and asked if they could throw it in a pony tail quickly. We’ve also done pick-up and the kiddo has a nice, neat bun. Never thought of it as judgmental, probably just fixing a loose hair tie after nap.
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u/JBeag Apr 10 '26
All of the kids at my daughters preschool get their hair done in different styles, even the boys. I wouldn’t over think it one bit. They also usually redo it after nap or else they all come home with bed head.
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u/bagmami Apr 10 '26
It might be that her hair gets undone during the day and they do it for her.
In my son's class they do the hair of girls several times during the day as it gets undone during play, nap etc. Well, boys wanted to be included too so sometimes we find everyone having a little high ponytail. My son started asking for it at home too and it's so cute.
Btw my son is 2 too so kids in his class are more or less the same age.
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u/NikJunior Apr 10 '26
No judgement. Also I have a son, so seriously no judgement at all. But I do know that the teachers at my son’s school do all the little girls’ (and some of the boys’ lol) hair. They’re really good at it and I think the teachers and the kids both like it.
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u/shhhhhadow Apr 10 '26
I don’t even do my daughters hair in the morning lol. She doesn’t like getting it done (to my dismay) and we have about 30 mins to hang out before my husband drops the kids off. I’d rather spend our time playing and reading books than forcing her to sit and do her hair while she cries! Maybe our daycare hates me for it idk lol
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u/teawmilk Apr 10 '26
I doubt they’re judging you, like everyone says, a lot of teachers and kids seem to enjoy hairstyling. I only found out about this (I have boys) after my younger kid started touching my hair and saying “mommy can I do your hair okay?” —words I’ve never used around my kids
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u/BlueberryWaffles99 Apr 10 '26
When I worked in a daycare, we usually did hair when we were bored honestly. Or, we would redo hair after nap time when inevitably it started falling out or looking crazy! I really doubt they are judging you in any way shape or form.
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u/SpiritedWater1121 Apr 10 '26
My daughter usually doesn’t let me do her hair (almost 3) so I brush it and leave it down… she also doesn’t have a ton of hair but it does get in her eyes when it’s down.. it doesn’t seem to bother her and I’m not going to fight her to put a ponytail in. She comes home with her hair in braids and pig tails and whatever else every day just about… I’ve told the teachers that she won’t let me do it so I’m surprised they are able to and they’re like “oh she loves it” sooo idk? I just allow it at this point.
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u/coldinalaska7 Apr 10 '26
I think I would really like that. Don’t take it personally. It means at least one of them is paying special attention to your baby while doing her hair.
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u/jewcyjen305 Apr 10 '26
My 4 year olds teachers love doing her hair! They can do better braids than me haha. I suspect it calms and distracts her- it’s our end of night ritual.
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u/viperemu Apr 10 '26
My son always wants his hair done up in pigtails when he sees the teachers doing other kids’ hair. It could be just as simple as your daughter having some FOMO and wanting her hair done to copy other kids.
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u/Affectionate_Emu_624 Apr 10 '26
The two year old classroom at my daycare essentially has “hair time” every afternoon. If I picked her up early, between 3:30 and 4, I’d find all the kids taking turns sitting at a chair with one of the teachers, getting their hair done. She would take requests, she would make suggestions, and the kids loved it. Once they explained that it was something that taught the children patience and sitting still, exposed them to the sensory experience of having someone mess with their hair, gave them autonomy, and it was fun!
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u/Traxiria Apr 10 '26
The kids at my daughters school love getting their hair done. At home my daughter fights and fights hairdos, but when she gets to school she goes straight to her teacher so she can choose the color of her hair ties. The power of watching other kids enjoy something…
What I’m saying is, this may be something that’s an activity at school she does with her classmates. I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that anyone is judging you.
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u/thefrizzzz Apr 10 '26
My son comes home with fancy too! He loves it. The teachers will re-do the girls' hair and he wants fancy hair too! I do basic styles (man bun, half up, ponytail) but he'll come home with braided space buns or French braid.
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u/EagleEyezzzzz Apr 10 '26
Don't worry at all about this!!! It's one or both of these two things:
1) her hair gets messy or loose during the day (playing, nap, etc) and they need to redo it
2) daycare teachers love playing with little girls' hair like they're little dollies.
It's NOTHING to do with you. You're doing awesome.
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u/fuzzypinatajalapeno 🇨🇦 Engineer Apr 10 '26
My daughter’s daycare did this when she was younger! I loved it, always seemed to be one of the teachers at the end of the day when there were less kids. My daughter loved it and so did the teacher. Just a fun little thing.
I wouldn’t assume any judgement at all, likely just a teacher who enjoys having fun with the hair of kids that are into it.
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u/cheesesteak_seeker Apr 10 '26
To reiterate what others have said she just likes doing it. Our provider likes to do little “spa” days when the older girls are off school and does their hair and nails. She sometimes does my 2yo hair other times too. I don’t mind and my daughter loves it. No guilt here’s
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u/jmw235_2 Apr 10 '26
Ha my husband stopped bothering with her hair because daycare redoes it. She demands they redo it when she gets there…. And I think they redo it after nap too. 🤷♀️ I literally could have written this post, but I choose to know it’s fine haha
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u/MostUnimpressable Apr 10 '26
They get the kid to sit still with them for some special time.
They aren’t judging you. I wish my kids elemetary teacher had time to do my daughters hair :)
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u/Dull_Title_3902 Apr 10 '26
My daughter's hair is never the same when I drop her off than when I pick her up.
What usually happens: 1) she messes up her hair so it needs to be redone 2) another kid has a hairstyle she wants so she asks for it
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u/Cosysocksandacuppa Apr 10 '26
Hey, I wouldn’t worry, we also send our daughter with her hair done every day, and in the evening, daycare has redone it, they take her hair out for nap times ( which I’m grateful for ) and they put her pigtails or plaits back in for pick up 😊
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u/railph Apr 10 '26
When my son was little he had long hair. We sent him to daycare with it in a ponytail and he'd come home with it in braids because everyone else was getting braids so he wanted them too.
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u/Weak_Masterpiece_901 Apr 10 '26
Take the help where it is given and assume the best of intentions. Maybe sometime you could drop off a little basket of snacks and a note thanking them and letting them know how cute it looks.
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u/Aioli_Level Apr 10 '26
Oh my daughter comes home in a different hair style everyday! It falls out during nap time and outdoor play.
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u/veryvalentine Apr 10 '26
My son comes home in pigtails sometimes! I think the kids just like having their hair done as part of play ❤️
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u/toot_toot_tootsie Apr 10 '26
My daughter's daycare used to do her hair all the time. I loved seeing what they would do with it! They could do it so much better than I could. They probably just love doing the girl's hair, and remember, there isn't too much you can do with kids that age to keep them occupied all day, so if they're willing to sit and have someone do their hair for a few minutes, it helps to kill the time for everyone.
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u/beginswithanx Apr 10 '26
I would try to reframe this in your mind: a daycare caregiver spending time doing a kid’s hair is so nice! How lovely for your daughter to have such a sweet experience with caregivers who clearly care about her. You’ve clearly done a great job as a parent in choosing a great daycare that expands your daughter’s community of adults who care for her!
I wouldn’t think that the teachers are “calling you out.” Your daughter might be asking for it, the teachers might just enjoy playing with her hair as a fun activity, they might be doing it for several kids, etc.
Take this off your plate of things to worry about.
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u/limeblue31 Apr 10 '26
Have you seen those videos of kids first day of school before coming school and after school? They look a hot mess! And these are grade school age kids. So a two year old is definitely not going to maintain perfect hair so for sure they are just fixing it for her.
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u/littlespens Apr 10 '26
My daughter has always had a ton of hair. Like you, we’re always in a rush! Most days they redo her hair bc kids are wild and their hair falls out of whatever style it’s in and will get food and boogers in it if they don’t redo it. Don’t feel guilty at all! Plus, the teachers often like playing with their hair and it can be a bonding experience for the teacher and kiddo too!
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u/Cwilde7 Apr 10 '26
I would imagine they are doing it as part of her time there, think of it as an activity.
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u/BarnaclePositive8246 Apr 10 '26
I baby sit and I love doing the girls hair… sometimes even the boys! 🥰
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u/QuitaQuites Apr 10 '26
Generally it’s likely because her hair has fallen out of whatever style it was in and also doing hair is fun, I’ve seen the kids ‘doing’ teachers hair and vice versa, but truly it’s probably because her hair comes out during the fury of toddlerhood.
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u/11pr Apr 10 '26
My kids daycare teachers did this for a while! Honestly sometimes I couldn’t even get my daughter to sit still for me to do her hair, I was lucky to wet it and brush it. She didn’t have hair until after 2 so it’s just something we never really got to do until she was older and wasn’t used to it. Then they started doing her hair at school and she was on board because the other kids would do it. It was definitely a fun activity for all of them I never took it too personally but definitely felt like I was for a while. Now she loves having me do her hair (I’m still not great at it!)
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u/NorthernPaper Apr 10 '26
Daycare does my 2 year old daughter’s hair too! I wouldn’t worry even the boys get pigtails and honestly I think it’s just a fun thing they do. Doesn’t matter how cute I do it, some days I pick her up and it’s completely different. My older daughter was in a different daycare prior to us switching and that daycare also did their hair quite often.
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u/friendsfan84 Apr 10 '26
The teachers at my daughter's preschool would do the same. I found out that one of the teachers had her own daughter in the class, so sometimes she would do her daughter's hair, and then the other girls want their hair done, including my daughter. At first, I felt the same as you, but then I was like, my daughter loves it, and I really dont think they meant anything by it.
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u/RadiantJournalist710 Apr 10 '26
My daycare does the same thing-they explained that it’s just because they enjoy it, and the kids get a kick out of the 1-on-1 attention. We’re primates! We love social grooming :)
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u/Framing-the-chaos Apr 10 '26
My daughters are teenagers and I still beg them to do their hair because I LOVE doing it. When I babysat, we would always play hair salon and I’d style their hair! I would not overthink this at all!
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u/anathene Apr 10 '26
My daughter apparently pesters them to do it. All the girls in class take turns. It’s not a judgement of you. Just a way to pass time and stimulate the kids.
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u/About400 Apr 10 '26
My daughter only lets daycare do her hair.
I don’t think the daycare teachers judge about hairstyles.
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u/zagsforthewin Apr 10 '26
My daughter’s old school did that and I miss it some days! Her dad does her hair in the mornings (and does a pretty good job!) but it’s always down by the time she gets home. Meaning I get to do the ok your hair is going up because it’s dinner fight.
But no, the teachers aren’t judging you. They’ve seen wayyyyy worse shit.
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u/Cellar_door_1 Apr 10 '26
My daughter loved when her daycare teachers did her hair (she wouldn’t let me do it though!!). Once one was getting theirs done, they’d all just line up. I started sending in hair bands lol. The teachers like doing it.
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u/notevenarealuser Apr 10 '26
My 14 month old son comes home with styled hair from daycare and has been for a long time, even when he was mostly bald lol. They just like playing with their hair, I can promise you that.
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u/josephinesparrows Apr 10 '26
I would see this like painting. I do not enjoy painting with my kids because the set up and clean up is not worth it right now. The actual painting is okay, but 3 year old will do it for 5 seconds and then get bored. I love that daycare does that messy activity for me!
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u/Stellas_mom05 Apr 10 '26
My kid has long, gorgeous hair that everyone wants to touch. I put it up in a cute bow every single day.
But lots of days she will take the bow out at nap time. Or the teacher starts braiding one girl’s hair, so they all want it done too.
She’s almost 4 and has come home recently still in the style I sent her in.
Moral of the story- they’re not judging you. There’s a ton of reasons for them to change her hair style during the day.
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u/wyld3i Apr 10 '26
FWIW my daughter is also two and they often do her hair - she has a ton of it and i do fun and intricate hairstyles on her often. They just love playing with it!! Its normal and not a reflection of you mama ❤️
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u/caffeineandglitter Apr 10 '26
Oh man my one year old comes back with new cute hairstyles almost daily. Her hair is to her mid back and she fights me like no other for a simple pony. She apparently sits like an angel while they do these super intricate styles on her hair and I’m over here wrestling an alligator every morning. I think they’re adorable and I don’t think the teachers are judging at all!
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u/pickledpanda7 Apr 10 '26
lol sorry but this is like a thing for all kids. My daughter has always had long hair and always comes home with braids
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u/Striking-Agency5382 Apr 10 '26
3yr old who always comes home with different hair, they like playing with the girls hair and giving them cute styles, also they play and roll and nap at daycare, it’s just as likely that it’s a redo after the hairstyle you did fell out or became loose.
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u/1001lulu1001 Apr 10 '26
When I worked with little kids I just liked doing their hair & they liked it too! Honestly was just an activity
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u/poison_camellia Apr 10 '26
Ooh, I wish my daughter's teachers did this! How are daycare teachers finding the time?? My daughter has never come home with a new hairstyle. If her hair tie comes out during the day, then she comes home that way. I'm not very good at doing hairstyles, so I'd love to see what some cute complicated style would look like on her, but alas. Also, my husband does do her hair for school 99% of the time because I have to leave for work around the time she wakes up
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u/ConnectGoal8510 Apr 10 '26
I worked at a daycare when I was in high school and I would do hair after outside time or nap time. A lot of the girls hair would come down part way through the day. During story time or circle time or any of the quiet play times, kids would come sit on my lap or next to me and if their hair was crazy or falling down, I would usually put it back up. I like doing it.
I wouldn't take it as a judgment!
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u/murder-waffle Apr 10 '26
Nah babe, my kid often comes home with a new hairdo and I 100% think it’s just because she messes it up by sleeping on it or pulls at it or some other toddler shenanigans messing it up. I honestly love that she has teachers who will take the time to do her hair in a cute way for her when it gets messed up!
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u/Linison Apr 10 '26
My twins wouldn’t let me do anything with their hair around that age. I had to chase and bribe just to get a brush through their hair every day. But they had a teacher at daycare who had a “salon” for the kids most days and would do all kinds of cute things with their hair. They LOVED it and the teacher did too.
It’s likely that you’re in a similar spot. It’s an engaging activity for the kids and I’d bet the teachers enjoy it too. No judgment.
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u/jodieeeeleigh Apr 10 '26
Our daycare does my daughter's hair in the day too, but usually because her fine hair falls out. If we are home I do her hair like 3 times a day so I take it as they are just fixing it post nap or hat head.
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u/Annoyed-Person21 Apr 10 '26
I painstakingly define every curl of my son’s mop the night before and make him wear a bonnet to bed so it isn’t frizzy in the morning. The daycare was constantly doing his hair. In girly fashion. We had asked them not to repeatedly, but it got to the point where the director would watch for us to pull up to apologize before we even saw it. They are not judging you. This is the teachers playing because your daughter has hair they want to play with and will allow it.
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u/danciestjo Apr 10 '26
My daughter has a friend in class who pulls out ponies and pig tails. It’s a bummer because my daughter would leave her hair alone all day at home, but some days she comes home from daycare with a different hairstyle. I wouldn’t take it too personally!
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u/Quinalla Apr 10 '26
Gently you are overthinking it. She is taking it down or it comes out at nap or she likes them to do it and they like to do it. Very common!
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u/No_Tank_501 Apr 10 '26
You’re overthinking it. Send a thank you card and make sure you take her to daycare before special events lol
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u/millenz Apr 10 '26
At a good school they’re playing hard! Essentially no hair style is untouched/fixed by the end of the day
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u/stelioXkontos Apr 10 '26
As a (pre k) teacher, I do my kids hair. No judgement on the parents, but sometimes they want their hair to match their friends or something, or it falls out and needs redone. I have boys so I love playing with the girls hair
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u/rrobinn620 Apr 10 '26
My daycare does my daughter's hair, and the rest of the girls too! Theyre def better at it than I am lol.
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u/HauntingHarmonie Apr 10 '26
My kid has beautiful curly hair and I had to, kindly, tell daycare to please quit messing with it. They just loved playing with his hair, but his teacher doesn't have curly hair and they were making it frizzier on accident 😅
It is usually pretty frizzy my nap time (toddler won't wear a bonnet yet. I did tell them they could put it in a ponytail if it gets super frizzy, but not to brush it out. I put some stuff in his bag so if they want to fix his hair they can do it with the right stuff for curly hair.
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u/wilburandwilla Apr 10 '26
I’ve got two girls and I am not great at hair. I can do a simple French or regular braid, pig tails and ponies. That’s about it. One of my eldest former daycares would do her hair sometimes. I think for her it was because she didn’t have daughters, so she enjoyed it as her boys had short hair.
It’s also possible your daughter is playing hard and her hair is coming out so they are redoing to send her home tidy!
You a being tough on yourself momma! If it makes you feel better I sent my youngest daughter without a snowsuit the other day. 🤣 She is very much so loved and cared for but we are working parents and busy as heck.
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u/octarine_atuin Apr 10 '26
This happens to my toddler too. I used to feel the same way and now look forward to it because they do so much better and they get excited when she sits still with them to do her hair! So I think they like it, too!
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u/lemondrop1902 Apr 10 '26
They aren’t. It’s a fun activity. All the kids boys and girls in my kids daycare line up and have their hair put up in ponies. Also my kid has curly hair that was always a hot mess at that age (and most of the time at this age) and I always felt like I never did enough with it, and thought the same when my kid came home with perfect pig tails. I still can’t figure out a straight part.
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u/somekidssnackbitch Apr 10 '26
Daycare did my kid’s hair too.
Boy with short hair 😂
I think kids just love getting ponies
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u/Thick_Ad_1789 Apr 10 '26
They like playing with little girls hair. One, my daughter’s daycare class was 95% boys. Two, girl’s hair is so fun to play with. Three, if it’s not bothersome to you, I wouldn’t take it personally at all. I felt the same at first she would come home in the prettiest braids. I had zero time working 40+ hours and skill issue 🥴. No idea how they got her to stay still. Also, does your daughter nap? My daughter didn’t and loved being a tornado an this is what they would do instead of letting her wake up the other kids. 😂
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u/ajo31 Apr 10 '26
They’re not judging you at all. My daughter LOVED when her teachers did her hair. A lot of times it was when other kids were napping and she was awake and they would do it. Or they did another kids hair and she saw and wanted hers done. I’ve always seen it as a sweet bonding activity, definitely nothing judgmental
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u/Lexellence Apr 10 '26
My daughter apparently asks for them. She has about three hairs on her head so I have no clue what magic they use to make it stay in a pony
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u/Immediate-Ad-2014 Apr 10 '26
Our morning is similar, except most days I leave before my daughter (3) is even up. My husband does her hair some days and is decently good at it but most days the daycare girls do it. Every morning they do a bunch of the girls hair in little braids and stuff. My daughter loves it and is much more willing to have the daycare staff do it than us at home. I sent some extra little hair elastics, clips, and combs that they can use.
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u/leilani__bythesea Apr 10 '26
lol I would always do my girls’ hair, and they would always come back with something different.
please don’t feel guilty about this. Honestly, as long as they’re detangled, GOOD ENOUGH.
And babe, since you’re gonna have another one, it’s okay if GOOD ENOUGH is all you got in you.
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u/Mariajgaitan1 Apr 10 '26
Girl, gently, we don’t care. My favourite part of the day back when I still worked in childcare was doing the children’s hair after nap time. They’d line up and patiently wait for their turn, and we’d all have so much. The only time we judge is if your child is constantly showing up with obvious signs of neglect. Otherwise, we’re just having fun.
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u/dakni24 Apr 10 '26
Kids hair gets crazy at daycare. Our daycare usually redoes hair around 4pm so kids are ready for pick up.
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u/SKatieRo Apr 11 '26
It's because daycare are typically staffed with young women who love to play with kids and do their hair. Don't think too much into this. The workers are just trying to be nice and are having fun. Its great for daughter because she is learning to allow hairstylist etc.
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u/Kisutra Apr 11 '26
Same! I send my youngest with a single boring pigtail just to keep her hair out of her eyes and she comes home most days with beautiful hair styles. I said something very similar to my spouse about what must they think? His response, they're probably bored, they have a lot of time with her, and she probably is distracted with something while they do her hair. No one loses here except for at bedtime when I have to cut all the little elastics out of her hair!
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u/Responsible-Test8855 Apr 11 '26
They may be doing it prior to nap time since it can be relaxing to some people.
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u/SUBARU17 Apr 11 '26
A before school aide for preschool used to braid my daughter’s hair sometimes. Honestly, loved it and she did too. Never thought they were judgmental about how her hair was
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u/sanza00 Apr 11 '26
Her hair probably just gets messy throughout the day so they just want to help with upkeep. Nothing wrong with that at all. Enjoy the free beauty salon experience. I would appreciate it w my 2yo always having to hold her hair up bc it gets in the way.
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u/Nearby_Ad7551 Apr 11 '26
My daughter always has different hair at pickup. They love playing with her and she loves pulling out her hair. It also usually gets messed up after a nap and they fix it.
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u/GlowQueen140 Apr 11 '26
I feel like girlies coming back with different hairstyles is just a rite of initiation at most daycares.
There was a period of time my daughter came back with the most craziest of dos. She and a bunch of other girls would beg their teacher to tie their hair
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u/Epdxok Apr 11 '26
I don’t know how they get my daughter to sit still enough to do some of the complicated hairstyles she comes home with, but I appreciate it! I’m always rushing in the morning and her hair usually ends up in two buns or a single pony. She loves it when her teachers do her hair so I’m fine with it.
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u/Late-Warning7849 Apr 11 '26
My son had long hair until 4 and while he was at daycare the young girls who were training to be hairdressers would use him as their doll as he loved it. He’d come home in all kinds of complicated buns and braids and pretty hair accessories.
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u/WillRunForPopcorn Apr 11 '26
I would assume she makes a complete mess of her hair and the teachers do it before you pick her up so that you don’t judge them/think they’re neglecting her lol
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u/aztecqueann Apr 11 '26
When my daughters (also 2 almost 3)teachers do this it’s because she undoes her hair or it gets messed up after nap time
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u/bhtkenny Apr 11 '26
I don’t think that’s the case. My daughter is only 20mo and her hair is very long down to mid of her back, we always send her with her hair done, come back with different hair style. I talked to the teachers and they say they love playing with her hair :D it’s cute
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u/WestCapable8387 Apr 11 '26
I try to do my daughter's hair but she hates it. She squirms and gets so annoyed that I usually give up or do a terrible job. She had her hair done at daycare and I had mentioned that we always try and she never lets us. The teacher mentioned it was the same for her and only one specific teacher has any luck. For some reason that made me feel better. I like to remind myself that the teachers care so much about my daughter that they do it not because they dont think I am a good mom, but because they want to do something special for her. Or her hairs just in the way and they get annoyed.
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u/CanadaOrBust Apr 11 '26
This used to happen with my daughter. I'd send her with a pony tail and she'd come home woth two French braids. It turns out she was asking her teachers to do her hair, and they obliged.
And believe me. Even if her hair is down, I bet they aren't judging you.
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u/UnderstandingTop69 Apr 11 '26
I’d be so happy if my daughter’s teachers spent the time to do her hair. Lots can happen in a day and they obviously care about her to do that!! Plus maybe you can get some inspo! I’m not inspired when it comes to that kind of thing
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u/gardengnomebaby Apr 11 '26
Hey! Former daycare teacher here.
We just liked doing the kids hair lol. During free time the kids would be like “can you do my hair in (hair style)” and we’d do it lol. Sometimes the ones with speech delays (or the youngest in the class) would just walk up and sign ‘want’ when we had the hair ties.
Don’t overthink it. We love it! It’s fun and it’s an activity/bonding time we can have sitting down haha.
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u/adestructionofcats Apr 11 '26
I was you a year ago when my kiddo wouldn't let me do much to her hair and would come home from daycare with cute styles. I thought for sure they were judging me. Turns out my kid was finding hair ties and bringing them to her teacher so she'd do her hair too. The kids like the one on one attention.
Try not to overthink it.
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u/guinevereguenevere Apr 11 '26
I worked at a daycare in college we just had fun fixing their hair and most of the little girls liked it, we kept some cute ponytails and clips in the classroom. It was also helpful for the kids to have their hair out of their face if we’re crafting or painting so they didn’t wipe paint int their hair lol.
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u/geauxbear9 Apr 11 '26
I’m a preschool teacher! I also worked in daycares through college. They are doing this as a way to connect with and love on your child. Either your daughter just thinks it’s fun and the teachers are doing it to pass the time for her and themselves or her hair just gets messy from playing and napping and they want her to look cute for you guys when you pick her up. It sounds like you have some fabulous daycare teachers. They are not judging you.
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u/AdMany9431 Apr 11 '26
My daughter is two. Her hair is long, and she has a lot of it.
Her teachers love her hair. She has come home with so many hair styles. Hair styles that I will never be able to do nor will my daughter ever allow me to do.
I simply see it as just another way that my daughter's love her and care for her.
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u/Superlizzy Apr 11 '26
They like playing with her hair. My daughter would come home with all types of hairstyles with her very fine hair as she wasn’t good at taking naps. It gave them something quiet to do with her while the rest slept.
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u/soneg Apr 11 '26
Are you my sister? She has the same complaint. Her daughter doesn't let her do her hair. Baby girl doesn't have too much of it but enough to do a couple of skinny pony tails. She loves it when her daycare teachers don't though. Sits all quietly while they do it.
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u/Chaywood Apr 11 '26
No this is so normal! I had one daycare teacher who just did my girls hair everyday no matter what. It was fun for them! My other daughter is now in daycare and comes home with a new style a few times a week. Kids get messy, some kind teachers like redoing their hair and having fun with it.
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u/Curtaindrop Apr 11 '26
I goto pick my daughter up from school and she will have brand new pig tails, a braid, high pony, the works. Her teacher is an older woman who has 13 girls in the class and it’s an afternoon activity she does with the ones who want new styles. The little girls love “twinning” and it gives them a productive activity. Don’t stress!
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u/bowlofleftovers Apr 11 '26
As others have said, its probably just a way for them to fill some time by a teacher that enjoys it!
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u/LaPete11 Apr 11 '26
The teachers in my daughter’s class do it. Sometimes her hair falls out, sometimes she’s just a hot mess. They said once one kid is getting theirs done, they all want it. My only request was they don’t pull her hair too tight.
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u/RachBU27 Apr 11 '26
I honestly love it that they do my daughter’s hair! She was born with a full head so at 2.5 it’s super long and until the last couple days she screamed bloody murder when I tried to brush it. Her teacher is the only one she’s always allowed to brush ave style her hair and I’m thrilled they have such a close bond. I love that she’s with people who truly love and care for her when she isn’t with me.
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u/Cassierae87 Apr 11 '26
Former day care teacher here. No we aren’t judging. And a lot of times when we redo girls hair it’s after nap time when their hair is messy from sleeping. It takes something worse than a poorly done ponytail for us to judge. Take a deep breath. Please don’t project your mom guilt onto the teachers
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u/ServeIver Apr 11 '26
Toddler teachers would do the same for my daughter at that age. We all loved it! It stopped when she moved up to the preschool room… I assume they are just too busy.
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u/gxsrchick Apr 11 '26
This happened a lot at our daycare. We love it, they just like playing with her hair
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u/SaturdayHatterday Apr 11 '26
My 2 year old son has long-ish hair and comes home from daycare every day with a ponytail, right on top like Cindy Lou Who. Its so cute! he loves it and apparently stands in line when he sees the girls getting ponies. I think the daycare gals just like doing little kids hair.
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u/dreamerlilly Apr 10 '26
I suspect that the teachers just like playing with her hair