r/wallstreetbets • u/maddog107 • 1d ago
News Iran stops negotiations with U.S., vows to 'completely' block Strait of Hormuz: State media
https://www.cnbc.com/2026/06/01/iran-us-negotiations-strait-of-hormuz.htmlWho could have possibly seen this coming
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u/Affectionate-Sale523 1d ago
Jokes on them, the U.S will create a blockade on their blockade!
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u/Snoo_59894 1d ago
"Ceasar the enemy has retreated behind their city's wall. What are your orders?"
"Fuck. I guess we could build our own wall around their wall."
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u/i_am_voldemort 1d ago
Ironically siegers would often erect their own walls both in front (Circumvallation) and behind them (Contravallation)
The front ones to keep the enemy better pinned in and the second to avoid the besieger from getting whacked from behind by a relief force coming to break the siege.
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u/bittercripple6969 1d ago
Literally the siege of Alesia, except Caeser won because he's Caesar.
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u/Careless-Page-7116 1d ago
I just watched that on Netflix, absolutely insane they were able to build those walls so quickly with reinforcements closing in!
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u/bittercripple6969 1d ago
Roman legions were on another level when it came to building stuff. Unreal.
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u/Huskies971 1d ago
Not just roman legions the ottomans moved 70 ships across land in the siege of Constantinople.
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u/bittercripple6969 1d ago
Rolled on logs, right? Crazy how often that pops up in history, even if you specifically restrict yourself to just ships.
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u/Huskies971 1d ago
I think it was more sliding on greased logs. Someone should tell Trump that story, just for the hilarious tweets of him suggesting we move fully loaded tankers around Hormuz on land.
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u/Billionaires_R_Tasty 23h ago
Bruh, they're already full of oil. They can be self greasing. Get on it!
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u/ChevalierDeLarryLari 1d ago
15,000 Roman legionaries (not slaves) built Hadrian's wall in just 6 years.
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u/KookaburraNick 1d ago
Pretty good work for a salad.
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u/bittercripple6969 1d ago
World's most powerful vegetable. One of us! One of us!
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u/Affectionate-Day2743 1d ago
just yesterday i ate a delicious Ceasar salad and drank a Modelo on the patio. it was beautiful.
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u/The_Esteemroller 1d ago
Glad I scrolled down before I commented the same thing. One of my all-time favorite historical battles to study.
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u/TouristResident1976 1d ago
If we are going ancient how about
Alexander's Isthmus: The celebrated half-mile causeway built by Alexander the Great in 332 B.C. to conquer the island city of Tyre (in modern-day Lebanon).
Lets outthink Iran. if Alexander could build an isthmus to conquer an island city, lets build a land bridge across the straight of Hormuz.
No straight, no way for Iran to blockade it! Genius!
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u/ittrut 1d ago
Pretty sure that already happened.. maybe they can blockade the blockades blockade
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u/Meriwether1 1d ago
It will be the best blockade. You’ve never seen a more beautiful blockade
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u/RockmanMike 1d ago
They said: "Sir, you have the most beautiful and best blockades of anyone ever!"
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u/EthicalSemiconductor 1d ago
They came to him, tears in their eyes, saying "Sir, only you can create such a magnificent blockade!"
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u/AGayThrow_Away 1d ago
"Very simple word, block-ade. Like almost, you know, who uses the word. I started using the word. The blockade."
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u/gungshpxre 1d ago
We will (are) creating a $3 BILLION restitution payment, but we're going to call it an "investment fund" and treat it like we didn't start a war and lose a war in three months.
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u/RockmanMike 1d ago
This should be the clue as to how he crashed and burned his businesses and escaped with money.
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u/isukforfree 1d ago
I am tired boss. Although i would bet the market doesn’t care and will continue the pump anyways
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u/Both_Strategy_920 1d ago
That's called dollar collapse. Equities love it. Elon Musk is going to be the first of many trillionaires.
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u/isukforfree 1d ago
When you say many trillionaires i want to debate that wont happen but your right. The rich get much more wealthy and the rest of us are cooked.
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u/22Arkantos 1d ago
It'll definitely happen. SpaceX is getting added to the indexes essentially on IPO (because Musk got the rules changed for SpaceX) so everyone in index funds will end up buying it, which will be trillions of dollars moving, pumping the value of SpaceX. Musk will become the world's first trillionaire by pickpocketing every retail investor in the country.
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u/madogvelkor 1d ago
A lot of pension funds too, unless they are actively managed and they take action to specifically exclude SpaceX. But a lot just track the major indexes.
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u/ensoniq2k 1d ago
At this point I'm so glad I don't own any ETFs anymore...
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u/22Arkantos 1d ago
ETFs aren't the big prize. Target date mutual funds that 401(k)s and other retirement accounts are usually invested in are- they have a LOT of money in the indices.
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u/RazingsIsNotHomeNow 1d ago
That's not the implication. The dollar collapsing means everything measured in dollars will be considered to be worth more dollars. So without any Billionaires actually owning more equities their existing assets would be considered worth more dollars potentially pushing someone like Musk's net worth to a Trillion, but not actually meaning he's richer/able to afford more goods. Meanwhile if you hold primarily cash or your worth is based off your paycheck like us poor shmucks your takehome/holdings will simply be able to buy less and less effectively making us poorer.
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u/isukforfree 1d ago
Thank you for the clarification you are very much correct. Wtf are you doing in this sub full of idiots lol.
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u/Dry-Judgment4242 1d ago
As long as rest of world keeps buying USD. Nothing will happen. Personally my own countries currency keeps falling far faster then the USD so I just keep all my assets in USD.
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u/LowBread9264 1d ago
So let me get this straight, if market goes up it’s bad. If market goes down it’s bad also. Is there a positive direction to you?
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u/YeahBuddy5000 1d ago
It looks more like a blow off top. Dollar isn't collapsing that fast, thought it is going down significantly in the coming years.
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u/Nilla_Waffer 1d ago
Same thing happened during the on and off tarrifs. Market stopped caring, so they had to find a new way to manipulate it.
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u/floridabeach9 1d ago
not even joking, ai, chips, and software companies barely use any oil/gas.
anyone saying helium doesnt seem to grasp the biggest chip maker used less than $1mil in helium last year (you can look it up!)
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u/Flimsy_Oven_7569 1d ago
Priced in.
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u/MayorMcCheezz 1d ago
Turns out bombing is more bullish than negotiations in this case because it has a greater chance of ending the war.
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u/CoC_Axis_of_Evil 1d ago
Market is priced for a fully open July strait. It is 1% priced in. Multiply by 100
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u/jamieperkins9999 1d ago edited 1d ago
Market really doesnt care anymore. Just like after a certain point the Russian/Ukraine war became irrelevant, which is still going on. We're at war with Iran, have been for a while, will be for a while longer.
Anyway, about those Epstein files?
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u/GiantKrakenTentacle 1d ago
Russia/Ukraine war became irrelevant because countries moved where they got their oil from and adapted to new conditions. In this case, we aren't really using any less oil and it's not a case of just getting your oil from elsewhere, the war is only "irrelevant" because the market is closing its eyes and ears and shouting "I CAN'T HEAR YOU" every time someone mentions looming oil shortages once the strategic reserves start to deplete.
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u/ActivatingEMP 1d ago
Oil shortages will happen even before the SPR is depleted, as commercial inventories are drawing 3-4 million barrels a week even with 9 million barrels draws from the SPR. Current projections have tank bottoms in the US by mid July (SPR release finished in August by current rate, though this could increase as commercial gets low)
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u/TomatoSpecialist6879 Paper Trading Competition Winner 1d ago
Oil comms trader expect alternative sources and supply chain to be found and established by July, hence the nonchalant reaction to the SPR inventory numbers. That's why if it's not achieved by July, the market is going to go on daily circuit breakers panic until QE gets officially announced to calm the markets(even though it's already on and keeping the bond markets intact). Reality is each bearish bet is against a multitrillion dollar system, they'll soon find a way to do more fuckery than to let reality meet the market. That's until the powers at hand are in short positions and puts to benefit from the short term bear crash like what happened during pandemic, and the 2022 energy crisis.
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u/ActivatingEMP 1d ago
No matter how much QE you do, you can't avoid a real supply-driven recession. Intervention works great when demand drops because you can stimulate demand, but QE won't make more oil appear- it would just drive up the price as everyone competes for economic use cases. The reality is that regardless of what governments do, if there is not more supply active by July, either from the middle east or otherwise, the world has to cut 9% of oil usage (about 1.8 COVIDs)
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u/NightFire45 1d ago
To make things more fun Ukraine has been targeting Russian ports. An oil supply shock is almost a given at this point.
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u/ActivatingEMP 1d ago
And yet we're still trading at dead average prices on an inflation adjusted basis. Extremely funny how anyone can see it yet everyone is traumatized going long from the fucker in charge
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u/FlyingBishop 1d ago
More than half of new cars in China are EVs, and they're adding solar and wind at an increasing rate. This is not the ideal time to test it, but their need for oil is going to go down in 5-10 years and there's a good chance their need for oil is already declining, but they're buying oil anyway because it's cheap. (Until it's not, so I don't know how much oil is really "needed" if Iran cuts off the supply.)
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u/AltrntivInDoomWorld 1d ago
China uses shitton of oil for plastic in their industry.
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u/Otto_Von_Waffle 1d ago
Plastic is a byproduct of the Oil industry, Plastic remains incredible cheap because Oil refineries are almost giving Naphtha away for free. If china was starting to run out of Naphtha, what we would see happening is recycling starting to become worthwhile and a slight increase in the price of plastic.
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u/PR0H181D0 1d ago
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is a huge fallacy. The effect of everything piles on, and the structure becomes weaker with each hit. Exuberance and irrationality can only keep the market going for so long.
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u/Icy-Banana-3291 1d ago
Except the Ukraine war is not irrelevant because Ukraine is the world’s largest producer of fertilizer and now that output has dropped it’s impacting farmers since fertilizer prices are through the roof. That combined with the energy prices are causing farm bankruptcies to rise.
But if you mean, markets are choosing to ignore fundamentals and stay overvalued anyway, yes that’s probably true.
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u/fh3131 1d ago
about those Epstein files?
They will also become irrelevant/forgotten
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u/atony1400 1d ago
More like already have, besides Bondi being dragged up to Congress there's been nothing for months.
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u/Steelmax6 I can't believe I fit the whole thing...cock, I mean 16h ago
didnt she just blow them off and not even testifying anymore?
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u/ActivatingEMP 1d ago
Different situation- Russia just shifted oil flows, and even then caused a mild bear market from interest hikes that ended the whole crypto/web 3.0 saga. Iran literally has us 9% short on oil globally, even after all the adaptations
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u/axewoodsman 1d ago
Russia/Ukraine war didn't affect oil prices much and causing a shortage.
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u/Skyvo_ 1d ago
Europe disagrees, gas and electricity prices were fucked for a while
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u/axewoodsman 1d ago
Europe is just one region, this time it's the world.
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u/Pretend-Marsupial258 1d ago
It's only 11% of all the world's trade (not just oil) that passes through the strait. What's the worst that can happen?
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u/---Imperator--- 1d ago edited 1d ago
The longer they drag this out, the higher the market will pump. It's the anticipation, the hope for a peace deal that drives the market. Once the treaty is signed, we would have reached the top.
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u/Reasonable-Slip-257 20h ago
Top is not reached until we see the IPO of Space X, Anthropic and Open AI. After that who knows
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u/Camelback186 1d ago
headline should say "negotiations back on by thursday"
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u/Big_slice_of_cake 1d ago
By the end of today there will be an agreement, according to axios
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u/gungshpxre 1d ago
How much more does America end up paying in reparations couched as "investments" this time?
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u/No_Veterinarian742 1d ago
i mean it helps the us defense industry at least. got to burn through years of missile production to get just about zero return.
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u/shugo7 1d ago
Thanks Isreal
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u/gonna-see-riverman 1d ago
☝🏼The real reason no US media will put in a headline. Instead somewhere at bottom in that link:
“No dialogue will take place” until Is**l fully withdraws from occupied areas
Yahu got pumpkin man by the balls.
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u/DM_Me_Pics1234403 1d ago
It’s crazy to me how the same thing has been happening for 13 weeks and the news reports on it like it’s a roller coaster. Are people buying this? Are there people out there that think the strait is changing status? Or the US is “getting close” (whatever the fuck that means) to reaching a deal?
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u/igotherb 1d ago edited 1d ago
Gentlemen,
I have an announcement to make:
I will be running my own blockade on the Strait and charging 1 spy 0DTE per ship.
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u/keepitcleanforwork 1d ago
It doesn’t matter what Trump agrees to because he has shown that he does not operate in good faith.
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u/VancouverSky 1d ago
The iranians were trying to negotiate full control of under sea cables that travel through Oman and the UAEs eez for themselves.
This whole thing is quite the shit show.
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u/Important-Agent2584 1d ago
Who knew a war in the Middle East could be so complicated.
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u/Pretend-Marsupial258 1d ago
But they're known for being short and easy! I was told this would be over in 3 days!
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u/NotawoodpeckerOwner 1d ago
Does either side even want a deal yo begin with? IRCG has total control now and can transition power easier while the USA feels maybe a long term blockade will actually do the trick?
Still a dumb mess. Assassinating an 86 year old geezer? I still don't get it.
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u/raptorsango 1d ago
I think either side would accept a deal that heavily favors them and can be trumpeted as a victory. Do they want off this crazy ride? Hell yes. Will they compromise? Hell no. Even if they did, it’s unclear if they can get Israel and hesbollah to stop shooting.
Both sides think they have leverage, US thinks Iran will fall apart when they run out of storage to put their oil in, Iran thinks that the oil shock will finally hit and that shit falls apart fast the second physical shortages of oil happen. The shortages could kick in anywhere from this second to who the hell knows because china has a massive oil stockpile that they have been using for refineries , so they buy less oil right now.
And yeah, there is nothing to get, it’s a clown show.
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u/Blacknesium 1d ago
The only way to end the war is with a total all out war. Israel isn’t going to get what it wants and Iran isn’t going to get what it wants.
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u/KarrlMarrx 22h ago
Damn, somehow found a strategy worse than the current Trump Administration strategy. Didn't think that was possible.
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u/Waiting4Reccession 1d ago
The israeli never stopped their attacks and land grab has only expanded. There was never going to be a deal.
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u/Nolpppapa 1d ago
Guy attempts to take out a fundamentalist regime, doesn't complete the job, and is now trying to negotiate with that same regime, all because Mango's dick went limp. The absolute dumbest timeline.
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u/KingofPro 1d ago
Pete Hegseth will be a True War Hero if he sails the 1st Ship through The Strait of Hormuz
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u/TheObsidianHawk 1d ago
Glad I never sold my UCO
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u/SaltyRedditTears 1d ago
I bought XLE calls that I guarantee will expire a week before the pump. FML
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u/flyingdutchmnn 1d ago
Fascist cunts
This game is guess which side I'm talking about!
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u/Ok-Analysis4121 1d ago
Best thing that could happened. Now more "talks going well" bullshit. Now know the truth.
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u/Lower_Skin_3683 1d ago
told ya'll when the orange one is quiet it's never good news
energy section blastoff
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u/Disownership 1d ago
US this weekend: We are close to a peace deal with Iran, as long as you ignore that we also said we were close 2 weeks ago as well as 2 months ago!
Apparently that was news to Iran too.
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u/wallstreetstonks 1d ago
If this is real. Markets just don’t care. Idk this is all suspicious I’m sitting the next few days out
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u/Gibraldi 1d ago
Oh this is why it dropped. I thought it was something serious. In that case I’m buying more for the TACO.
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u/demzor 1d ago
So its now June.. and the straight is still closed..
Wasn't this what everyone was worried about? Why are heads still firmly in the sand?
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u/NoFutureIn21Century 1d ago
We have collectively decided it's not that big of a deal. Who needs fertilizer for the next year's food supply anyway?
We'll just use Gatorade instead!
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u/Sbornot2b 1d ago
This war has ended almost a dozen times, and it just keeps ending and ending and ending and ending.
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u/whammy5555 1d ago
Right on time as it’s Monday