r/vegancirclejerk • u/Metal-Pineapple2469 Lo Que Soy Tragador • Sep 11 '25
ANIMAL RIGHTS MONDAYS Is It Disrespectful If We Don't Eat Vegan Activist Charlie Kirk?
Political violence is never okay. Never. Absolutely never, not even when cities are under siege by literal Nazis or neighboring crypto-fascist Autocratic Warmongers, Slava Ukraine (in a friendly way!). However, considering that most of my friends in r|vegan tell me that they wear leather, eat bone broth, gelatin, glycerine, traces or whatever because they don't want the deceased to go to waste, and being that I respect all life, even fascist shit-bags like Charlie Kirk, who was really a vegan activist under deep cover to make meat heads look stupid-- shouldn't we be eating him and making toothpaste from his bones and laundry detergent and parading around town with his skin stretched over our feet and around our waists (no waste!) to show our deep respect for the precious life that was the honorable bag of shit that was Vegan Activist Charlie Kirk? Serious answers only please.
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Sep 11 '25
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u/puffinus-puffinus vegan 2 days Sep 11 '25
He was humanely slaughtered
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u/iamsreeman Abolitionist Vegoon deficient in cognitive dissonance Sep 11 '25
A painless price for a good life
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u/man-teiv semi-vegetarian Sep 11 '25
he died happily doing what he loved, spreading misinformation, I'm sure his meat is delicious 🥰
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u/Ok-Interaction-8917 pescatarian Sep 11 '25
He said empathy is a weakness.
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u/Metal-Pineapple2469 Lo Que Soy Tragador Sep 11 '25
Oh! Well, since honoring the dead with performant lip service like prayers and crafting utility and adornments is the truest empathy, what would Charlie do? Just leave him in a ditch to rot? But that would benefit all thoze cute little maggots and make them snuggly wiggly with cute wittle crevasses to cuddle in. What connumdumb. What should be done?
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u/Ok-Interaction-8917 pescatarian Sep 11 '25
Probably use his ashes to create gunpowder to make the finest weapon that master Trump could hold to protect people from getting the Epstein files.
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u/Metal-Pineapple2469 Lo Que Soy Tragador Sep 11 '25
Is trafficking children for rape, drugging them up, letting rich psychopaths torture and murder them as part of their paid for fantasies and or making them disappear when they attempt to go to the authorities vegan if you put a smiling preteen on the package?
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u/Steve0Yo Vegan schmeegan. Sep 11 '25
Don't forget lipstick from his blood. I assume his blood is red, anyway.
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u/Greenbeanwrites Sep 11 '25
we could if it weren’t for his adoring fans who all immediately scurried towards his body to drink it up :/
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u/Ok_Scratch_4663 Inanimate Objects Tho™️ Bro🕶️ Sep 11 '25
you know, coincidentally enough, there are some live video swatches of the shade, if you want to match your fit
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Sep 11 '25
Yeah, we must show respect for his noble sacrifice and giving his life for the good of the people. It's important to honour his sacrifice by consuming his flesh and bones, so he doesn't go to waste.
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u/Metal-Pineapple2469 Lo Que Soy Tragador Sep 11 '25
Spit roast was my furst thought, right. But then I figured he was such a gaping asshole that he might slip right off into the fire and that would yucky, nobody likes a burnt Charlie, covered in ash. Like could we even take the risk that we might not enjoy it? Now, that would be the real tragedy if you ask me.
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u/NoCountryForOld_Zen Tofu Killed My Father Sep 11 '25
Kirk died of a mass shooting while talking about how mass shootings aren't a big deal.
We can't let that be how the public remembers him. We should throw a barbecue in his honor.
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u/Metal-Pineapple2469 Lo Que Soy Tragador Sep 11 '25
Worse, making racist statements about gun violence being a poc thing and not a white conservative thing. I don't know if we can collect enough meat for a big bbq, might have to settle for a little wiener roast.
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u/Ok_Scratch_4663 Inanimate Objects Tho™️ Bro🕶️ Sep 11 '25
🤔 tough call. . . i agree with all the above, 💯 legit. it’s just that, broguy didn’t believe in your woke leftist empathy. and it seems to me doing all those respectful and highly honourable things might impose your artificial little pretend ‘empathy’ on a guy who was clearly so much better off without any.
as for his precious parts not going to waste, while generally i’d agree, bc it’s the most r-slash-vegan way, there is a case that his death has already fulfilled the greatest point — that of the one and only commandment of the constitution our universally beloved carnist jebuss wrote — the 2A.
undercover vegan bro so veganly proclaimed that some human children are simply acceptable collateral to the greater directive of the holy 2A. much like vegans are down with crop deaths as a negligible nuisance in favour of eating plants.
now, as we all know, vegans don’t care about humans. if you peruse vegan comrade bro’s history of talking points, i think you’d find absolute proof of that stance (at least as far as black ppl, brown ppl, gay ppl, trans ppl — the folx who wouldn’t be privileged enough to be vegan anyway, what with the incendiary price of dried beans and all). . .
so, truly, such a paragon of covert yet somehow so unabashedly blatant veganism must be deserving of the highly most tots’d and pears’d respects.
which brings us to a paradox.
would respecting his wishes to abstain from woke empathy be in itself a form of woke empathy??? 🤔
maybe we could best solve this dilemma by simply abiding his last spoken words, when it comes to the most proper dispatch of his mortal remains.
anyone got those? 📝🧐🤔
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u/Metal-Pineapple2469 Lo Que Soy Tragador Sep 11 '25
“Counting or not counting gang violence?”
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u/Ok_Scratch_4663 Inanimate Objects Tho™️ Bro🕶️ Sep 11 '25
too many words for depleted b12 levels vegans. i knew i should’ve just asked for the last one. much more mentally manageable.
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u/WiseWoodrow oat milk mmm Sep 11 '25
Donald trunp should wear his skin leather. At least the hands, y'feel? His own skin leather hands appear to be failing..
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u/Acceptable-Ant5021 vegan eurotrash Sep 11 '25
this post has taught me that it's not ok to talk about violence against humans (even jokingly, because it's NOT FUNNY GUYS), but it's ok to talk about violence against animals (humans arent animals), because bacon is tasty and it's also protected by free speech laws
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u/mumzel Vegan queen Sep 11 '25
I wish vegans would just RESPECT our choice to EAT shit bag meat. Like why does it matter if I choose to eat a human compared to a cat? It is not like empathy really matters??? The vegan Kirk activist even said it HIMSELF! We will always remember Kirk as a closeted vegan, because he was really bad at it…
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u/Phoople basically-vegan Sep 11 '25
This isn't in good taste. Pretty vile. Especially for a community centered around empathy. Bad jerk.
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u/undeadfromhiddencity lacto-vegetarian Sep 11 '25
Empathy?
Charlie Kirk: “I can’t stand the word empathy, actually. I think empathy is a made-up new-age term that does a lot of damage.”
Lack of empathy is exactly how he’d want to be remembered.
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u/Metal-Pineapple2469 Lo Que Soy Tragador Sep 11 '25
I don't know, he lived a happy life right up until the end, adored by neo-Nazis all over the world, father to two beautiful tradwife children, never did a day of manual labor in his entire coddled life. I can't see much cortisol being present in the flesh, and besides it was just ONE BAD DAY.
And remember, this isn't r|foodporn, we never let empathy or ethics get in the way of GOOD TASTE.
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u/King_Asmodeus_2125 raw-vegan Sep 11 '25
I'm vegan and Buddhist. I try to hold love in my heart for all living things, and I admit, I had some difficult feelings about Charlie Kirk. I abhor and despise many of the things he said, but I know it is wrong to take pleasure in his death. My heart aches for his wife and children.
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u/Metal-Pineapple2469 Lo Que Soy Tragador Sep 11 '25
I'm vegan and the reincarnation of the actual buddha and my heart aches knowing that he will miss out on being thrown in prison for a long long time after inciting race or minority based identity hatred and violence once those laws are taken seriously in that country again. Truly a sad day seeing someone spewing vitriol so repulsive lose out on the incredible wisdom and learning that comes from the consequences of one's own actions.
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u/djn24 anecdote tho Sep 11 '25
Please be mindful with the jerks. Anything that can be viewed as celebrating violence could be a violation of Reddit's terms of service, which puts the community hosting that comment at risk of being shut down by Reddit.