r/ultralight_jerk • u/zen_mattson • 15h ago

Why does hiking make me dirty?

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144 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

35 comments sorted by

54

u/Olovrant 15h ago

It’s the insufficiently UL gear for sure! Need to spend $3000 on the next gen hyper ultra lite shoes and dirt-repellent socks.

44

u/the_reifier 14h ago

I found that not walking like utter shit greatly reduced how much detritus ended up in my shoes.

Not that I ever go outside, of course. I'd never ruin my gear like that.

12

u/HairballTheory 10h ago edited 10h ago

Ultralight Nirvana is actually achieved by not ever touching the ground when hiking.

It’s been said the at the trailhead one can only hope to witness this. “The Ultralight guru will be walking around normal, but with each piece of gear they put on they levitate just a little more.”

11

u/bananatreefan 8h ago

Namastayhome

17

u/Louie2411 11h ago

This is why I just use my gear in the basement, no risk of getting them dirty.

11

u/SAL10000 10h ago

Its worn weight bro, calm down

13

u/mapped_apples 10h ago

uj/ it’s funny that this is a question but I suppose people who haven’t hiked haven’t experienced it. Literally just stop every few miles for a bit of a rest and clean your shoes out then. 

rj/ get your wife’s boyfriend to buy you milsurp combat boots to hike with. 

1

u/SAL10000 7m ago

I think they make ultralight gaiters now. Im sure you could fashion from dyneema.

1

u/mapped_apples 5m ago

Gaiters seem like something a b*shcrafter would wear. 

6

u/LigersMagicSkills 10h ago

This is why I only hike on the sidewalks of Brooklyn

11

u/adambl82 10h ago

I just wear knee high boots. Never have a problem.

7

u/jzoola 8h ago

That’s crazy, I would think you would be constantly fending off unwanted sexual advances.

8

u/adambl82 8h ago

That's just everyday for me when women find out I own a Duston X Mid Pro. It's exhausting.

2

u/craigslist_hedonist 3h ago

please, please, please tell me they're made out of Dyneema

2

u/adambl82 3h ago

I'm insulted you had to ask. Even the laces are dyneema.

2

u/AvailableHandle555 2h ago

Vibram barefoot soles though, right?

1

u/craigslist_hedonist 59m ago

How tall are the heels? I'm almost there.

4

u/Ok-Mind-3915 9h ago

Gaiters

2

u/craigslist_hedonist 4h ago

I'm not a fag! (continues to shovel rocks and sand out of shoes)

3

u/MudTysk 8h ago

get gaiters

2

u/Jolly-Slow1164 6h ago

I'm pretty sure hiking boots are made out of rocks, and that's just the lining material breaking in.

You need trail runners... Sorry they're 100% man made materials, and they'll sit in a landfill for 1000 years, but there not "foot rocks"

2

u/swearengens_cat 2h ago

Has he tried letting the cum dry before putting them on and going out?

2

u/Low-xp-character 1h ago

Damn, thought I was in r/hiking and was like “fuck when did everyone here become so shitty lol” then I realized I was in a new suggest sub. Follow

1

u/roughczech 6h ago

It is your mind leaking through your feet

1

u/Lunabbg 5h ago

Probably walking around. But no deadass tie your shoes a different way if this keeps happening.

1

u/SoundofPsithurism 2h ago

You need dyneema waders.

1

u/natiusj 2h ago

You need ankle fans to blow debris away from your boots.

1

u/ultrawiz 1h ago

Dude needs to vacuum the basement more often.

1

u/Defiant-Property7890 10h ago

Stop dragging your feet you're outside be happy.

1

u/Defiant-Property7890 10h ago

Ill walk 18 miles in Nevada and not look like a scab after.

0

u/benditochocolate 14h ago

Get some trail gaiters