r/trailrunning • u/[deleted] • 2d ago
Runners who have non running friends, how you deal with that?
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u/Analoguezombie 2d ago
Man them 48 hour long runs that take the entire weekend must be murder on a social life.
Fortunatley if i do a 2 hours ish long run it leaves time for other activiities.
Sometimes i even manage to run on only one day and i can arrange it around other commitments.
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2d ago
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u/Prudent_Candidate566 2d ago
Yes it is. I have SO many friends who run and climb and mtb. Do all the sports. Have all the fun.
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u/Analoguezombie 2d ago
I dont know then , its up to you to sort your priorities, i prefer alot of pass times to running so its something i do of a weekday evening or a weekend morning when it doesnt interfere with other stuff.
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u/DepartmentFamous9932 2d ago
I ran a 50km with 6000 feet of elevation gain, came in top 10% of finishers, then went out to lunch with friends, then went to an engagement party that night. This is a skill issue.
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u/mediocre_remnants 2d ago edited 2d ago
Why do your friends need to share the exact same hobbies as you?
It sounds like you're trying to prioritize training over social activities. If you don't want to do that, then don't. It's that easy. It's perfectly normal to re-arrange training plans to make room for other stuff in your life.
Unless you're a pro and running is literally your job, there's no reason to make running your #1 priority in life unless you want to.
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u/Flying-Kayaks 2d ago
If you skip a trail run to rock climb or mountain bike with your friends you still get a workout in. Missing one trail run won't decrease your fitness.
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u/Equivalent_Chipmunk 2d ago
And even if it does, does that matter? Suppose over a year, you miss ~20 runs to hang out with your friends, and this reduces your pace by 1%.
If you're elite, that would take you off the podium, but you're probably not elite. If you're midpack, you'd still be midpack.
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u/Tough_Course9431 2d ago
huh? just go run on another day or afterward. its normal to not share 100% of your hobbies...
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u/Ok_Homework_7621 2d ago
Run at a different time so you can see your friends?
Also, you can have circles that don't necessarily overlap. Like you used to have school friends, your parents' friends' kids, friends from your extracurriculars. Now you can have your old friends and runner friends.
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u/purplishfluffyclouds 2d ago
This post is so confusing. I don't have any running friends yet it doesn't seem to be a problem for me.
Your issues seem to revolve around you hanging out with the wrong people in general, not with running. Why hang out with partiers if that's no longer your thing?
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u/der_lodije 2d ago
In 30 years, what memories are you going to cherish the most? Running or being with friends?
There’s no wrong or right choice, but just something to consider.
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u/AraAraGyaru 2d ago
Leave them in the dust. Find other people like you. I recommend subs like r/RunningCirclejerk
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u/DepartmentFamous9932 2d ago
Is it worth it to you? What’re your running goals? It’s probably not worth the sacrifice unless you have a good shot at going pro, but this is a really personal decision. Many of us deal with this issue all the time vis a vis our spouses and families. As much as I want to run 50+ miles per week year round, I have to settle for 40 when not prepping for something because that’s about the limit where it doesn’t interfere with my husbandly duties.
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u/Sector9Cloud9 2d ago
I trained all season for a race that, when the dates were finalized, conflicted with a mountain biking trip with friends. I was opining to my wife and she was like which one would be more fun. I went with mountain biking- no regrets- even though I trained all season. Yes there is the satisfaction in personal accomplishment with training and racing or endurance achievements but ultimately which one is more enjoyable. While the mountain biking excursion wasn’t as grueling as the mountainous 50k would have been, the time spent in camp paid dividends of its own.
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u/trailtherapist1 2d ago
Enjoy time with your friends, you’ll wish in the future that you spent more time with them
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u/Alternative_Slip_513 2d ago
This is interesting since it’s important to have more interests than just be do consumed by one thing it is your complete identity.
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u/Verdantvive 2d ago
I enjoy running solo and none if my friends are trail runners, but we all just make time. Not pinning hang time on drinking or partying (same here) is a more general vibe of a friend group.
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u/xxamkt 2d ago
You just find away. Sometimes we’ll go for beers and I just have to do my long run hungover. Or I’ll climb the afternoon after a morning run and accept I wont be that good. Or you go out early and leave a bit earlier.
But, unless it’s within 10 days of a race I wont turn down a chance to socialise. (But I’m 46 so those invites don’t come that often!)
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u/seastheday- 2d ago
Find friends that run! I run with most my friends so I can combine running and socializing!
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u/MasqueradeOfSilence 2d ago
I don't really cut mileage for other activities, but I'm also not a social butterfly, so it doesn't bother me.
I'm fortunate to have friends who are fairly fit and also do not drink, though. I'm not into any of the sports you mentioned, but I lift and do yoga and I find the body adjusts to the volume.
My friends often do a hike while I'm running. Sometimes I go with them, like a run-hike split day, but usually I get my run in instead and then meet up with them later for food. So we usually get a bit of time together no matter what.
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u/veggie-cyclist 2d ago
I run alone!
I also do crossfit (I have met a couple of members that run but that's about it) I find the non runners more interesting.
I've met a couple of people at work (I work in a large heathcare facility) that run but they are not in my department so there is no comaradry.
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u/icantdeliverhere 2d ago
What about them?
You know, you keep them around just in case zombies apocalypse comes 😂
You don't need to be fastest runner, just faster than your buddy 🫡🤣😁
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u/shortandfelly 2d ago
Easily. Some of my friends run. Some of my friends don't. It's never been an issue, because I don't want to always be running.
Unless you are training for a medal spot in a big race, everyone can afford to shift something around to meet up. Anyone who says they can't afford to miss a run is full of BS.
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2d ago
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u/shortandfelly 2d ago
Have you actually though? Because people who train and place on big ultras have got the socialising/training ratio sorted.
I've finished 25 ultras including two 100 milers. Wouldn't touch anything by utmb with a bargepole 😂
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u/Analog0 2d ago
The friends I have left at my age aren't rooted in many common interests. I have one good friend who runs, and we don't make socializing about running, we run to socialize and socialize outside of that, too. Running's rarely the topic.
Hardly any of my friends read, but I do. They don't all skateboard, garden, have kids, vacation in the same spots or enjoy cooking, etc. a lot of them play golf, and I don't. A lot of them are into baseball or hockey or etc. that I'm not super interested in. We still get along.
My wife's got a running group with some friends. It's kinda like a book club, where ya, there's a book to discuss, but that's not really why they're getting together. They run, but it's about rooting themselves in one another, having someone to talk to, motivating each other to keep huffin' through life.
Running isn't for everybody, but you can be.
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u/Monskiactual 2d ago
i talk about running constantly. Like all the time. I steer every conversation into running. I make myself totally unsufferable to be around if the person isnt also into running. Eventually all my friends and my new spouse will be into running. Problem solved
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u/jarrucho 2d ago edited 2d ago
I love wearing my recently acquired finisher medal when around my non running friends and family and looking for excuses to shove it in their faces, like purposefully stretching out to grab something on the table so that the medal hangs right in front of their eyes 🤣🤣🤣
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u/LostAbbott 2d ago
Don't make you whole identity running, it isn't healthy. You don't have to drink to have fun with your friends. Also make some running friends. Join a club, make friends with people at races, join a team, etc... It is possible you are friends with the wrong people, but you also sound too focused on running with no mention of a goal. Don't sacrifice you life for what sound like a hobby.