r/talesfromtechsupport • u/hameater • Jul 13 '12
It's Beeping!
This story is a typical encounter I had with providing tech support at my first job. I was the only one at my work that had any understanding of computers, so by default, I was the go-to guy.
~ ~ ~ Wavy lines to indicate the backward journey in time ~ ~ ~
Many, many moons ago, I worked at a highway service center, in the fuel bar section. At the end of each shift, we would tally up the sales and count the cash, and enter all the data into an Excel spreadsheet. One of the glories of being a 'shift boss' was that it was your responsibility to balance the shift.
I had been a grunt for awhile pumping fuel; then a shift boss. I then worked my way up to managing the place. It was a 24-hour business, so there was always work to do. I would spend a fair bit of time in the office, preparing bank deposits, etc at the end of my shift.
One evening, I finished at 4, and wandered over to the office. I was deep into my deposit balancing, when I got a call on my cell phone. No one ever calls me on my cell phone unless its a work emergency. So I answer the phone, and the guy who was working in the fuel bar starts rattling in my ear. "The computer's broken ohmygodidon'tknowwhattodocan you heeeellp!"
I turned to the CCTV, and watched the poor chap as he begged for help.
"What's the problem?" I ask. I can hear a steady beeping sound in the background.
"I don't know what happened, but the shift end computer is beeping I think it's going to explode or something. Can you come back and help? I know you're probably at home relaxing and everything, but IDONTKNOWWHATTODOOOO!"
It dawns on me that he doesn't realise I'm still on site, tucked away in the office. I can also see, in the CCTV, exactly what's causing the issue.
"You're seriously going to make me come back to work? Is it really that big a deal?"
He was practically in tears. "Pleeeeeeease, come in!"
"I've already had a few beers, I would be drinking and driving, you know," I lied.
"Oh shit, whatamigunna dooooooo!"
"Relax, buddy," I say. "I'll be there as quick as I can." I add as much exasperation in to my voice as I can.
"Thanks buddy, I owe you one!" he sighed with obvious relief.
I decided I would let him sweat for a few minutes. I finished off my deposit homework, and closed the safe, and left the office, being careful to lock the door behind me.
I then strolled over to the fuel bar, until I got close, then I started sprinting - running as fast as I could into the fuel bar, panting heavily.
My colleague looked at me in shock - we had spoken only about three minutes ago, and I lived a half hour drive away.
"I broke the speed limit getting here. This better be good," I growled, as I ran up to the computer.
The computer was still howling away, in what did sound rather distressing.
Without breaking eye contact, I went to the computer, and gently lifted the book he had accidentally placed on the keyboard, which was holding down some buttons, which was making the computer beep because it didn't like the constant input from the keyboard.
The beeping stopped.
"Oh, shit" he said, in a very small voice.
"It's alright, dude. I was in the office when you rang and I could see the book in the camera."
He didn't think it was funny that I made him wait three minutes with the beeping, in utter panic.
EDIT: Wow, front page, and QOTD? Amazing! Thanks chaps! You have encouraged me to contribute more; my goal is to ENTERTAIN YOU.
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u/thepancake Jul 13 '12
Reminds me of the time a co-worker got a frantic call from a professor (tech support at a University) who was freaking out because something was wrong with his mouse. Every time he would reach for his mouse, his computer would start beeping and freaking out.
My coworker hurried over to the professor's office to see what was going on. As the professor was showing him what the problem was, he kept leaning forward to reach for his mouse. beep beep beep beep beep. "See! My mouse is broken! Fix it!" My co-worker has the professor sit up, pushes the keyboard tray in from where his gut was sitting on it and has him try it again.
That professor doesn't call us much anymore.
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u/hameater Jul 13 '12
Amazing.
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u/404redirect Jul 13 '12
Now imagine it with 40DDs. I had a user that called complaining that every time she would go to use her mouse after typing the cursor kept going in the document. Went to the desk and asked her to duplicate it. I then moved her keyboard out from under her chest and asked her to try it again. Her face got pretty red and I just turned around and walked out.
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u/MusicalChairs Jul 14 '12
Bow Chicka Bow Wow
"Now it looks like we'll need to start the 40DD service"
"But 404redirect, what about protection?"
"Don't worry baby, I always use an SSL wrapper."
Yeah I would be horrible at making Pornos.
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u/HappyTheHobo Jul 14 '12
I really just can't imagine that, could you supply visual evidence of your coworker. For science.
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u/MagicBigfoot xyzzy Jul 13 '12
~ ~ ~ Wavy lines to indicate the backward journey in time ~ ~ ~
Now that's storytelling!
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u/Gigwave Jul 13 '12
Yeah, but then he did the "Many moons ago" when I was already in his past.
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u/kennerly Jul 13 '12
Maybe he was telling the story from the past in the past. Pastception.
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u/hameater Jul 13 '12
We have to go deeper.
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u/MNeen Jul 13 '12
We had to go deeper
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u/Quindo The Only Brony at the Office Jul 13 '12
~ ~ ~ Wavy lines to indicate the backward journey in time ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ Wavy lines to indicate the backward journey in time ~ ~ ~
Now that's storytelling!
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u/KARMA_P0LICE I Am Not Good With Computer Jul 13 '12
Shit, this is really bugging me.
~ ~ ~ Wavy lines to indicate the return to the present ~ ~ ~
Ahh, much better.
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u/MrDOS Technomancer, +5 to RTFM checks Jul 13 '12
But wait, does that mean we're in the present present, or only the present of the first past? I'm confused.
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u/KARMA_P0LICE I Am Not Good With Computer Jul 13 '12
Present present. There is only one present to me. You can journey back in time some N amount of time, and you can journey back again, but if you return to present, that's a constant.
but YMMV
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u/Vancha Jul 13 '12
)
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u/The_Double DROP TABLE basic_knowledge Jul 13 '12
( goto: parent_comment
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u/Strykker2 Doesn't Understand Flair Jul 14 '12
but but but... never ever ever use goto... that's like the biggest nono ever!
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u/mexicanweasel I can tell you didn't reboot Jul 14 '12
It becomes hilariously easy to spot if you have, say WOT or something to stick a big circle next to links. Wouldn't have noticed it otherwise.)
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u/KARMA_P0LICE I Am Not Good With Computer Jul 15 '12
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u/mexicanweasel I can tell you didn't reboot Jul 16 '12
I have RES, but how does it help you spot links?
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u/CaseyG QA - I break the things you fix! Jul 14 '12
~ ~ ~ Wavy lines to indicate the backward journey in time ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ Wavy lines to indicate the backward journey in time ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ Wavy lines to indicate the backward journey in time ~ ~ ~
Buddy Thag have new axe, think it really cool, much better than spear. Axe have loose head, probably wrong length leather tie. Me help Thag tie head to axe. Me know this bad idea. Thag throw axe at mammoth, axe miss. Thag take axe back to me, say, "Thog, you tie head wrong, axe miss mammoth!" Me name Thog, not know if reader catch that from cave painting. Me tell Thag overhand throw good for spear, suck for axe, throw sidearm for flat spin. Thag tell me that me stupid, not know anything. Me take axe, throw sidearm at Thag head. Thag not say much after that.
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u/that-writer-kid I have no idea what I'm doing. Jul 13 '12
I mentally acted out this entire scene with characters from Scrubs. I'm really not sure why. You were the janitor.
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u/polychromie You've reached facilities, not tech support. Jul 13 '12
This seems like something that would happen on Scrubs. Probably with JD being the one who panics.
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u/that-writer-kid I have no idea what I'm doing. Jul 13 '12
JD or Dr. Kelso.
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u/MistarGrimm "Now where's the enter key?" Jul 13 '12
Kelso doesn't panic. Kelso would throw the entire pc out of the window... in rage.
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u/1upforever Jul 14 '12
How would you NOT picture Elliot?
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u/polychromie You've reached facilities, not tech support. Jul 14 '12
JD is off in space, holding a book, dreaming about, say, coming home with a bag of groceries in his hand. He opens the door to the apartment, and there is Turk, who's turned the whole apartment into a love nest for him and Carla. JD, horrified, drops the groceries and runs. He comes out of the reverie because the computer is beeping, and starts freaking out because, let's face it, he's JD and is kind of dumb. He flags down the janitor, who moves the book and, from his pocket, withdraws a penny and holds it up threateningly.
(What am I doing with my life?)
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Jul 13 '12
As soon as I read the title, I immediately knew what the complaint, cause, and solution would be.
Next time, when someone reports constant beeping, suggest the following: "when I say so, use both your hands to take your keyboard by its sides, lift it up, flip it upside down, flip it back, put it back on your desk, and tell me what happened." This also introduces them to the fact that keyboards are filthy.
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u/Tetha Jul 14 '12
Dear goodness, unleashing the innards of a keyboard on someones face is just cruel.
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u/cyborg_127 Head, meet desk. Desk, head. Jul 13 '12
He didn't think it was funny that I made him wait three minutes with the beeping, in utter panic.
I, on the other hand, thought it was hilarious.
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u/BantamBasher135 Advanced for a lowly lUser Jul 13 '12
+10 for style. Excellent.
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u/5rockhopper4 /r/techhelp Jul 14 '12
~ ~ ~ Wavy lines to indicate the backward journey in time ~ ~ ~
Time travel is a bunch of wibbly wobbly, timey wimey, stuff.
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u/warm_beer Jul 13 '12
Many, many moons ago, ... ..... I got a call on my cell phone.
It was many moons ago and you had a cellphone?
Grasshopper, that's just a moon or two ago.
Many moons ago, we had party lines.
Many, many moons ago, we had to ask Myrtle to connect us.
Before, it was pigeons or beating on logs.
Dinosaurs biting at our heels, too! Uphill. Both ways! And we liked it.
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u/BantamBasher135 Advanced for a lowly lUser Jul 13 '12
As I understand it, moons are months. So technically, I had a cell phone a fuckton of moons ago.
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u/warm_beer Jul 13 '12
In that sense, you're clearly correct. "moon", "moonth".
As I remember it, the "many moons" comes from bad Hollywood westerns where some Indian chief is telling the palefaces about ancient history.
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u/BantamBasher135 Advanced for a lowly lUser Jul 13 '12
Well I meant more by the fact that our concept of month comes from the cycles of the moon, but I didn't know about the movie thing.
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u/Setati Jul 13 '12
As a non-tech person with passable computer skills who gets called on to fix things they don't want to call IT for - I love this!
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u/Jorgisven Jul 13 '12
Yeah. Had this exact thing happen to a client except it was in the morning and the computer wouldn't boot due to the Esc key was being held down by a folder.
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u/WhipIash How do I get these flairs? Jul 13 '12
You can stop a computer from booting by holding escape?
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u/Tha_kira Jul 14 '12
Now I can't wait for me to get back to my computer classes. Let the trolling commence.
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Jul 14 '12
I was imagining this when you ran inside. I was seriously hoping you had left him sweating for much longer than that, and then claim you ran there. Oh,well.
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u/Geek1599 Of course I fix it faster when you're telling me to. Jul 13 '12
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u/AdminWhore Jul 14 '12
I finished off my deposit homework, and closed the safe
Homework? really? What grade were you in?
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u/WhipIash How do I get these flairs? Jul 13 '12
No TL;DR?
I obviously would've read it either way, but it's become somewhat of a meme to write a clever tl;dr at the end of these, as I'm sure you're aware.
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u/DarkLoad1 less magic Jul 14 '12
It's also something of a meme to downvote dickheads who point out TL;DRs or lack of them.
IT'S OKAY IF IT DOESN'T HAVE A TL;DR
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Jul 13 '12
[deleted]
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u/Tango-22 For my next trick, watch me pull a hat out of a rabbit! Jul 14 '12
This was very, very anti-climactic. It had such potential, too.
Same with your comment...
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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '12
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