r/sleeptrain • u/Current-Bear2590 • 24d ago
6 - 12 months Falls asleep independently but wakes up multiple times overnight
Our LO is 8 months old and like the title says, goes to sleep independently every night but will wake up 7-8 times a night. My husband will go in and settle her and I will feed her at about 3am and 5:30am. She’s just had her first cold where during these night wakings we resorted to co sleeping after about 11pm and would swap over at about 3am when she needs a feed. When she sleeps next to us, she does not wake up as much.
I don’t understand what’s happening here. She falls asleep independently at the beginning of the night, only to wake up crying and need resettling.
This is a baby that had weaned herself of night feeds by 3 months old and was sleeping through the night.
Wake windows are 2.5/3.5/4. Wake up at 7am and bed time at 7pm everyday.
Please help. I’m going insane.
5
u/less_is_more9696 24d ago
You need more awake time in your schedule. Your baby is under tired.
I would try adding 1 hour of awake time. So your sleep budget is 13h. Offer 10.5 hours of night sleep, and 2.5 hours of day time sleep.
Ex wake 7, nap 10:30-12, nap 3:30-4:30, bed 8:30.
1
u/Current-Bear2590 24d ago
Thank you for taking the time to respond!! Will be trying adding 30min of awake time today and will see how it will go. Cheers
4
u/DOOM_SCROLL_4 24d ago
I came to Reddit for this exact issue! Could have written it myself. Hope you/we get a good solution!
2
u/diabolikal__ 23 m | modified CIO | complete 24d ago
Is your night 12h too? I’d say that’s the issue. This schedule needs more awake time.
2
u/Current-Bear2590 24d ago
My life is scrolling this subreddit- thought I better post to try and find a solution. Hope we can get a fix!
1
4
u/Adorable-Deer9058 24d ago
I thought I wrote this myself.. to the point of all the same things you guys are doing, we are doing.. even the way you wrote it sounds like me..I thought I wrote it and in my tired brain - forgot that I had posted!- then I got to the bit about her sleeping through at 3 months and realised it wasnt me as my little one hasn't ever slept through..
Anyway- we are 9 months now but this was us a few weeks ago.. unfortunately all that fixed it for us was time for her to go through the regression and while it's not completely fixed (we still have night wakes) it's much better (wakes often start at 12am).
The whole independent sleep thing really threw me though- it made no sense! Like she puts herself to sleep every night and nap but not when she goes through a sleep cycle!
2
u/Current-Bear2590 24d ago
Sorry that you’ve had to go through this too! I’m glad the night wakes have settled down for you.
7
u/Special-Bank9311 24d ago
Add more time to your schedule. My 8 month old is on 3.5/3.5/4.25.
When we had this issue, we had to sleep train the night wakes as he was sleep trained for the start of the night but didn’t seem to apply it during the night! So you might have to use whatever sleep training method you used to get her to start sleeping independently for night wakes too.
2
u/No_Assignment_7477 24d ago
Did that solve it for you? Sleep training at night? What method did you do?
2
u/BedCapable1135 24d ago
Not who you asked but we did Ferber at around 8 months. Then it undid itself (my fault, kept using the boob) and we recently did full extinction with dad speaking to baby through the monitor at 14mo.
Took three nights but we went from multiple wakes and cosleeping (he would scream if I tried to de-boob him and put him in his cot) to sleeping 8pm-7am with a bit of a shuffle here and there.
1
u/No_Assignment_7477 24d ago
I have tried Ferber before and it would go on for 1-2 hours before I’d give up. Did it ever last that long for you for middle of the night wakes ?
2
u/BedCapable1135 24d ago
Yes, but not crying straight for 1+ hours. It was like crying for 5-10 minutes, then quiet for 10 minutes, rinse and repeat.
As other comment said, if baby is crying for 1-2 hours, then usually schedule is wrong.
Absolutely contradictory to general advice, I found mine was overtired. We had moved onto one nap. Initially he was fine, then I think the exhaustion built up. I shortened the wake windows for three days prior to retraining and it went far better. It may be worth revisiting your schedule and sitting with it for a few days before attempting any training.
1
u/Special-Bank9311 24d ago
We once had it last an hour, then I gave up and fed him. Usually if it lasts that long then you have a schedule issue or they do actually need something, but I think for us he was just horrendously stubborn. After that one time he cried for an hour, all the other wake ups were much shorter.
1
u/Special-Bank9311 24d ago
It’s improved a lot. We made sure his schedule was good first, then it cut down a lot of wake ups.
We used CIO as that’s the sleep training method we had used for bedtime. The we did a no-feed before midnight, then no feed before 3am rule and it got him down to 2 wake ups. But full disclosure, he’s had a cold this week so we’re back up to 4 wake ups. I’ll probably do it again once he’s fully over the cold.
1
u/No_Assignment_7477 24d ago
So when you say CIO, if he woke before midnight you’d leave him to figure it out, then when you moved to no feed before 3am you’d leave him to cry (no visits) until you hit 3am then you’d go in and feed? Sorry for the questions I’m just struggling! Lol
1
3
u/Other_Cupcake8651 24d ago
Multiple overnight wakes after independent sleep onset is usually a feed association — baby knows how to fall asleep but still expects a feed when they surface between sleep cycles. Worth logging the exact wake times for a few nights to see if there's a pattern. A lot of parents find the wakes cluster around the same windows each night, which makes it easier to decide whether to do a dream feed to preempt the worst one or start stretching the response time on the others.
3
u/nicksadow92 24d ago
I would personally start to hold off on the feeding. certainly old enough to not need an overnight feed anymore pending LO is getting 4-5 6-8oz bottles during the day and eating different foods. Sounds like a regression to me and needs to be able to settle herself without mom or dad going in. May I introduce you to the practice of extinction? And if it makes you feel bad, then Ferber method. It can be sad, but long term you're doing LO a favor. Slowly drop the # ozs given overnight over the course of a few days and then implement extinction/ferber method.
My LO on the exact same daily schedule and was doing the same thing (minus the night feedings), so we went with extinction and all is right in the world again. If he has a night wake up, we will go in to make sure no poop, change diaper and then let little one figure it out and he goes to sleep no problem now after a few minutes.
1
u/No_Assignment_7477 24d ago
How did you train your little one? How old was he? I’m going through this issue too and am struggling with what’s the best approach
2
u/nicksadow92 24d ago
Train little one regarding what though? Weaning the night feeding or just sleep training? I can’t speak to the night feeding as ours stopped after reaching 11-12lbs or so and they got ample feeding throughout the day.
Regarding the sleep training, we did a combination of Ferber/full on extinction. For the first wake up, we’d deff go in and make sure no poop, would change the wet diaper and then honestly he’d cry it out for a while. My wife was more gentle in going in after “x” number of minutes and would wait longer and longer because she felt bad doing it. Each day would shorten and then bam. Wake up, whines a bit, back to bed. Definitely feel bad doing it but again, they’re fed, they’re changed, they’re healthy and it’s best for them long term and doing them a favor because having to be held to sleep is just not sustainable for anyone.
1
u/Current-Bear2590 24d ago
Thanks for responding. We did CIO a couple of months ago and it worked temporarily. I have no issue with doing extinctions :) Will try to slowly drop feeding overnight. It’s a struggle when she’s actively trying to get a feed 😂
1
u/nicksadow92 24d ago
Absolutely happy to help. And I’m glad it worked previously- may have to revisit with dropping the feed. And then ultimately not uncommon to go back and redo it all - it’s what regressions are all about. Just stick it out, it’s all temporary as painful as it is.
3
u/MobileSociety3010 24d ago
In the same boat so will follow this!
But - when my LO gets colds/teeth, it really disrupts her sleep. So I think some are very sensitive.
1
u/Current-Bear2590 24d ago
Yeah, I think her getting a cold has just thrown everything out.
1
u/MobileSociety3010 24d ago
We recently had 2 back to back colds that took out the family one by one, which meant cosleeping for survival really. I imagine when we are over this one; I will have to retrain :(
3
u/Ok_Chemical9678 24d ago
Is she still sick? My baby woke up a lot while having a runny/stuffy nose
1
u/Current-Bear2590 24d ago
Yes! She still has a runny nose but that’s it. I feel like the runny nose will last forever- it’s only been a week 😂
2
u/Born-Doctor-6503 24d ago
We had a similar issue. I would both adjust schedule (i agree with others that Night seems on the long side) and wean off night feeds fully ( one at a time, i did it by reducing time on the breast).
1
u/Current-Bear2590 24d ago
How did you find reducing time on the breast? I feel like my LO would just somehow really protest which daytime me is fine with, but nighttime me would backdown quickly
2
u/Careless_Wall434 24d ago
She doesn’t need night feeds anymore. She’s waking up out of habit (as someone who went through it)
2
1
u/Current-Bear2590 24d ago
How did you go about weaning?
1
1
u/Careless_Wall434 12d ago
I just stopped offering the boob. I let her fuss for 5-10 mins, if she didn’t settle, I would hold or rock her until she fell asleep and then put her back in her crib. We started delaying night feeds unless nothing else would soothe her for 30 mins when she was 6 months. Within a week she no longer woke for night feeds
1
u/No_Assignment_7477 24d ago
I’m having the exact issue with my baby almost 7 months. If you figure it out let me know lol
1
1
u/United_Ear2606 24d ago
In the same boat as you with my 9 month old. He’s off his growth curve (still a peanut but increasing linearly) so our pediatrician said to wean night feeds. We have a vacation coming up but will wean after that! I’m hoping that helps a ton
1
1
u/WholeNo7755 24d ago
I’m currently going through this but having a crawling regression - has your LO started moving?
1
u/Current-Bear2590 24d ago
What a fun time for us all! Yeah, she’s started crawling properly in the last week.
1
1
u/Catamelco 24d ago
Ours is the same. He wakes 2-4 times a night and needs a pacifier to settle back down. Falls asleep independently and no pacifier but when he wakes up it’s pacifier or scream. We’ve tried everything, sleep training, back patting, he just won’t give up on the pacifier. I think he’s teething but it’s been this way for 2 months. We’re both back at work so if he screams for hours he wakes us up plus our toddler. We’re just hoping he grows out of it at this point.
1
u/Born-Doctor-6503 23d ago
It was better than expected, but not without fussing. After we fully weaned there were a couple rough nights that my husband handled, and then he finally started sleeping through.
1
u/Intrepid-Sentence423 17d ago
I had to specifically train for night wakes when we trained, it seemed a different skill than settling initially at night, which i know makes no sense, but only after sleep training specifically for night wakes did she start sleeping through.
0
u/Traditional_Year_19 24d ago
Listen to nobody who simply says add time. It's a fluke that falling asleep independently quickly fixes everything. A lot of babies become dependent on the support they receive for night wakes. For example, patting their back until they fall asleep.
We made the mistake of adding a song into the end of our routine and playing it too long. My son was falling asleep to the song snd then needing the song to resettle in the night.
It's why they recommend quick comfort or hands off comfort for a lot of sleep training methods.
It could be that you need wake time. BUT It's very likely that adding wake time withOUT changing anything else, won't help you at all.
Definitely recommend sleep training night wakes.
6
u/Happyandyouknowit821 24d ago
Disagree with this. The thing that immediately stood out to me was 7pm-7am. There are some babies that can sleep that long - my first daughter could sleep 7pm-7am. But for MOST babies, that’s just too much sleep.
This sounds like textbook not enough sleep pressure. If she’s going to sleep independently, and wakes aren’t being reinforced with nursing, then constant wake ups like this point to not being tired enough to get through a full 12 hrs. This also explains why she’s sleeping better with you in your bed - baby doesn’t need as much sleep pressure when you’re “assisting” with your presence.
Try small adjustments. 7:30pm-7am would be a good place to start
1
7
u/SnooAvocados6932 [MOD] 2.5 & 5.5yo | snoo, sleep hygiene, schedules 24d ago
If bedtime is 7, the next day starts at 6am. Her night is too long to consolidate sleep.
Add a half hour of awake time.
What is bedtime routine?
Is she in her own room?
Does she sleep with a pacifier?