Sleep Consultant AMA

[u/hss_2018]

Hi! I’m Ashley Olson, certified sleep consultant and founder of Heaven Sent Sleep. I’ve been working with families officially for a little over 7 years, but sleep education has been a hobby of mine for about 9 years after sleep training our first child.

I’m an enneagram type 5 which means I LOVE information. When I find something I’m interested in, I want to know everything. So it was no surprise that digging ourselves out of the sleep deprivation hole we were in led to becoming obsessed with infant sleep— but more than that, how it affects the whole family and how I can support the whole family to work together in improving sleep for everyone.

Fun fact: I sleep trained my first son via the internet and message boards! So while it was hard navigating different opinions, advice, etc— this kind of community will always hold a special place in my heart. 🥰

As a sleep consultant, I specialize more in infant sleep and using gradual methods of sleep training. While I know and believe methods like Ferber and extinction are valid evidence based options, most families come to me seeking something different and I’m happy to help with using less straight forward options. The more a family believes in what they’re doing, they will have less guilt after the fact and more commitment to see it through (in my experience) and that’s often what matters most!

In 2021, my business partner and I founded The Collective for Family Rest and Wellness (www.familyrestandwellness.com) to certify others wanting to become a sleep consultant because we want to level up the field of sleep consulting, provide evidence based information, many many many ways of supporting families, and focus on the holistic aspect of coaching with intention and grace.

As a thanks for hosting me, I created a 15% off discount code (REDDIT) for our Ultimate Sleep Support plan available through the end of the month (valid for 3 uses only). You can access that here!

You can also find me on Instagram (www.instagram.com/heavensentsleep) where I’m able to respond better to comments, DMs and question boxes in stories! I love hanging out over there and getting to know people better. 💜

Edit: THANKS SO MUCH FOR HAVING ME!! I signing off for the evening, but I do free question days on Instagram every week on Wednesday and I answer every question I get there!! Come say hi!

[u/hss_2018]

You’re asking really great questions, and this is such a normal shift to hit around 9–10 months due to all the development that happens!

One important piece to gently point out based on what you shared: If she’s being rocked all the way to sleep, she’s not quite falling asleep independently anymore. And that’s likely the biggest reason you’re seeing those repeated 11/12pm wakeups.

What usually happens is: She falls asleep with help → wakes between sleep cycles → looks for that same help → falls back asleep → repeats every cycle

That “hourly reset” pattern you described is very classic for this.

Over or undertired: From what you described, this leans more overtired than undertired.

Id see how she handles 3/3.5/3.5 and see if that helps!

When to move to 1 nap- Definitely hold off for now. Most babies aren’t ready until at least 13–15 months.

Is sleep training the only option: You don’t need to jump to anything extreme, but some level of teaching her how to fall asleep without being fully rocked to sleep is what will fix the night wakings.

The night wakes aren’t random, they’re probably tied to how she’s falling asleep at the start of the night.

A gradual, supportive approach could look like:

-Rock until calm instead of fully asleep and then sit still -Start putting her down a little more awake -Support her in the crib (hand on chest, voice) instead of picking up every time -Slowly reduce how much help you give over a few nights

Separation anxiety: This is a big factor at this age, but it doesn’t mean you have to stop working on sleep.

Things that can help move through it:

-Predictable, consistent responses -Letting her know what to expect (“I’m right here, it’s time for sleep”) -Lots of connection during the day and bedtime

When the response is the same every time, it actually reduces the anxiety because she knows what’s coming.

[u/84890 → u/hss_2018]

That makes sense! Thank you for your quick and detailed response :)