r/sleeptrain • u/OtterLove89 • Jan 10 '26

1-2 years old Toothbrushing is ruining bed time

Our gal has always been amazing with bedtime; while we "sleep trained" in that she's been going into her crib awake & falling asleep on her own, we were doing a bottle before bed until recently (she's 15 months). We probably *should* have been brushing her teeth after the bottle but she loved having milk before bed so much that we didn't (we brushed before, after bath, before books). When we finally switched to a straw cup of milk we decided we really should be brushing after the milk. So, we tried to integrate tooth brushing after milk, followed by a story, then her usual routine (sleep sack, one verse of a song, then into her crib). First of all, she HATES having her teeth brushed, and each night since we started she's resisted more and more. All of the tips on toothbrushing are very high-energy, chipper, rile-her-up kinds of things. Even the story seems to wind her up, and suddenly when we try to put her in her crib she either: a) cries out mama mama mama when I leave the room or b) chats with her stuffies for a while. I don't mind b) at all, that seems like nice self-soothing behaviour. But the first is breaking my heart and she just seems upset and confused. She really only *truly* calms down/gets sleepy during milk, so I'm feeling a bit lost! I suppose my ask is... anyone have any tips for getting a toddler who hates having her teeth brushed to accept this without it making her super sad right before bed?!

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u/[deleted] Jan 10 '26

You’ve just got to push through it. She’ll be sad getting cavities drilled too. It’s not worth it.

1

u/OtterLove89 Jan 10 '26

We are, but I hate it.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '26

I get it. I don’t want to bum you out but that’s parenting. It’s a lot of doing what is best for them while they scream about it. You have to get comfortable with them being unhappy about things. Negative emotions are part of life. We create all sorts of problems when we prioritize alleviating our own discomfort by trying to fix or avoid our child’s negative emotions.

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u/OtterLove89 Jan 10 '26

I know, sigh. Honestly I’m working so hard on this because my parents liked to pretend negative emotions didn’t exist so I’m unlearning that and trying to make space for her big feelings while holding compassionate boundaries

3

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '26

I can relate to this so much. I was raised to perform happiness. My parents have always taken my negative emotions personally. Like I’m trying to make them unhappy or hurt them by experiencing negative emotions. It’s really great that you recognize this as part of a generational pattern. Holding space for negative feelings while maintaining boundaries is hard. It’s even harder when we were taught to fear and avoid our own negative emotions. No one prepares you for this part of parenthood. The way it forces you to reckon with your own childhood wounds.