r/shortstories • u/GonzotheGreek • 17h ago
Realistic Fiction [RF] An Inconvenient Bench
The bench didn't begin its life as an inconvenient one.
Like other benches being manufactured on a Tuesday morning in February of 2012 in a small factory located in Waunakee, Wisconsin, the bench was intended for a specific purpose; provide seating for multiple people at a time.
This particular bench (and its siblings birthed on the same day) is designed to seat two people comfortably. It's made of galvanized steel and powder-coated to help prevent rusting. Paint colors are changed daily, and on that Tuesday, benches were painted burgundy.
Its rest time rating (also known as RTR) of 45 means that people using the bench will begin to lose comfort after 45 minutes.
Of course, this number is an average and can be higher if people bring a cushion. Children using the bench will begin to feel discomfort after ten minutes, while octogenarians feel discomfort almost immediately without any cushioned support.
The Inconvenient Bench shipped from the factory on a Friday, traveling across the Great Plains on a railroad car along with twenty-nine other benches, all colored burgundy. The train headed west toward a wholesale distribution center in Phoenix, Arizona.
The only reason it was sent to Phoenix was due to a marketing executive who performed extensive research that revealed burgundy benches would be in high demand during the summer of 2012. The methods of the executive's study aren't relevant to this tale other than they were exactly correct.
The bench sat in the warehouse for six weeks before an outdoor furniture retailer placed an order for thirty burgundy benches after its marketing executive performed a market study that mirrored the results of the manufacturer's executive.
An agency designed advertising promoting the benches, which would be discounted by twenty percent on Memorial Day weekend, because the retailer learned that customers who buy benches will spend more than $300 on other products in a single purchase.
The advertisement was then distributed through the mail to specific zip codes and individual streets predetermined to optimize outdoor furniture sales over the holiday weekend.
The promotional flyer landed in the mailbox of the retailer's exact demographic on the first Saturday in May: a middle-aged married woman who enjoys gardening now that her two children have left her and her husband as empty-nesters. She drives a high-end SUV, and works a full-time job, taking advantage of her weekends to garden. She quickly determined that the bench was exactly what her garden needed at this point in time, and the burgundy was a perfect contrast to the yellow flowers she planted in early spring.
Three weeks later, the woman loaded the bench into her SUV along with a ceramic bird bath ($375) that would attract birds to her backyard garden.
In November of 2012, the woman was diagnosed with an un-named, incurable disease, which left her hospitalized for several months before she passed away in March of 2013.
Their home now feeling too big, her husband decided to sell it and move to a small apartment in New Mexico. His sons helped him downsize by donating or selling his household items online.
His oldest son decided to take the bench to Flagstaff where he shared a home with an old college roommate that had a small front garden.
The bench stayed in the front garden for exactly three days before it was stolen.
The thieves were a group of students from Northern Arizona University who were pledging a fraternity and needed to steal something "bigger than a breadbox" to prove their loyalty.
It spent the next five years in the back of the frat house until the home was razed by the city for an unspecified public works project. The bench, along with most of the frathouse furniture, was delivered to the local Goodwill.
Goodwill employees found the bench perfect for undisclosed breaks while working in the processing area and kept it from being sold.
It stayed there until 2021 when a renovation show producer offered Goodwill employees a finders fee if they could find a powder-coated steel bench.
The producer placed the bench in a small courtyard garden between two homes. It looked great on tv and the homeowner was pleased with the renovation.
After the renovation, the homeowners's neighbor determined that the courtyard garden was part of their property and erected an iron fence to protect the space.
This did not please the homeowner, who promptly claimed the courtyard was exclusively theirs.
The property dispute was finally settled in court. Most of the courtyard belonged to the owner of the renovated home, who then had the fence moved, pushing the bench against the neighbor's wall. Unwilling to tend to a garden, the homeowner replaced it with a concrete slab.
The bench then sat in a small patch of grass surrounded by an iron fence and a concrete slab. And still sits there to this day.
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