r/selfpublish • u/MKSauthor • 11d ago

Blurb help

I’m running an ARC campaign on BookSirens. The click through rate is fine (1221 impressions, 317 clicks), but I got a note from BookSirens that the expected number of downloads (14) is lower than average.

So my cover is working, but my blurb isn’t. Now, it’s possible that when readers see there’s noncon in the book, they choose not to read, which is absolutely fine and expected. But if that’s not the case, and the blurb isn’t otherwise pulling them in, I’d love your thoughts on how I could fix it. Blurb below:

This meet-cute is a meet-from-hell.

ANDIE
One moment, I was a college student with Broadway dreams. The next, I was kidnapped from Earth, sold to alien traffickers, and stranded on a planet light-years from home.

When a giant, winged alien found me in the wreckage of my captor’s ship, I screamed and ran. Now the entire Ptexari kingdom believes I initiated a mating ritual with Crown Prince Dakleth—a four-armed warrior who chased me down and claimed me.

Dakleth may regret what happened between us, but remorse doesn’t erase trauma. I may never go home again. I may never see another human being. But I will never accept this alien as my mate.

DAKLETH
The moment I saw the tiny human emerge from the crashed vessel, I knew she was mine. I believed she had chosen me, according to the traditions of my people, and instinct overtook reason.

By the time I understood the truth, the damage was already done. I will accept any punishment demanded of me, because no sentence could outweigh the shame I carry, knowing I harmed my mate.

Andie may never forgive me. She may hate me until my dying breath. Still, I will spend the rest of my life protecting her, earning her trust, and proving that I would sooner destroy myself than ever hurt her again.

Because she is my mate… even if I no longer deserve to be hers.

Ahelno is a spicy, emotionally intense dual-POV sci-fi romance featuring cultural collision and a slow-burn path toward healing and redemption. It is the author’s debut novel and first in a new series. Intended for mature audiences only.

No cliffhanger. HEA.

Content warnings:
-Non-consensual sexual encounter between main characters
-Trauma recovery
-Suicidal ideation and attempt

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u/MKSauthor 11d ago

This is excellent feedback, thank you. I will consider how to rework that tagline.

14

u/danfaulknerauthor 11d ago

It's more than just the tagline. The opening two paragraphs are written in a surprisngly light tone for events that aren't in any way light. And then you spend the rest of the blurb contextualising it. There's a tonal mismatch there, even for readers who are happy with darker themes.

Is the book itself actually quite lighthearted, apart from this one inciting incident? If so, you need to massively de-emphasise it (while still keep the trigger warning plain). You can't put it front and centre but with a lighthearted tone, that comes across as inappropriate.

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u/MKSauthor 11d ago

Thank you, this is thoughtful. It starts out in a very dark place, and the first half of the book deals with trauma recovery, but it ends up as a very sweet romance. I’ll admit I’ve struggled in how to convey that tonally in the blurb.

If it helps, here’s what one ARC reviewer wrote “Ok just hear me out.i know you're probably at that one point and you want to stop. DON'T just trust me when I say that there is HEA. Everything is thoroughly explained and it's not what you think it is. The first half of the book is healing, world building, etc ... Everything is well written and my questions were answered sometimes even before I thought it was a question. The MMC is the sweetest marshmallow. I know, remember trust the process.”

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u/danfaulknerauthor 11d ago

Blurbs are HELL if the book is in any way complex, I sympathise. So yeah, you need to find a way to convey that tonally in the blurb. I'd almost say the blurb is backwards - it starts light, then becomes serious. The serious part then almost comes across as justification. I think you need to trust that plenty of readers appreciate heavy drama, provided it's handled right. Start dark, that will feel much more appropriate. Personally, I'd give no hint in Andie's section that Dakleth is anything other than pure evil. Let that come as a twist.

Then I'd start Dakleth's section with: "I believed the tiny human had chosen me, she followed the mating rituals of my people to the letter. She was so sweet!" (Or words to that effect.) We instantly get the tragic setup, no justification needed. Then continue with "By the time I understood the truth, the damage was already done." Then skip straight to the next para. Use the words you've saved to hint at a sweet, satisfying ending. That's your audience.

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u/MKSauthor 11d ago

Thank you!