r/schizoaffective • u/Cool_man27 • 13h ago
What is your story with schizophrenia?
Interested in hearing other people's story.
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u/BethHarpBTC 7h ago
I have for decades been dealing with depression, delusions, and psychosis. I'm a late diagnosed person. I was in and out of the hospital all last year ending with me being diagnosed with schizoaffective depressed type. Got me on a high dose of psych meds and the delusions/hallucinations went most of the way away. I still hear a voice. Still see shadow cats and can feel them rubbing against me. But it's much better than the constant screaming in my ear.
Again, took 39 years of life and a year of being in hospital to figure out the cocktail that kills the fucking buggers.
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u/ZachBlackburn_Music 7h ago
I started on meth at a young age. Early teens. Soon after I started seeing things. While homeless during my teens I had multiple suicide attempts because what the voices were telling me to do. Eventually I got locked up and the delusions and hallucinations never stopped even though I was clean. That was at 19. The psych that evaluated me to make sure I was fit to stand trial said I had schizoaffective disorder. They put me on meds for the duration of my time in jail. There’s been multiple points where I’ve attempted suicide because of the depression or didn’t have meds because of lapses in insurance or no money. I was in and out of hospitals multiple times a year for about 8 or 9 years. As of now I’ve been out of the hospital for 1.5 years. That’s a record for me. What helped is moving back to California from Oklahoma where mental health is taken a little more seriously than being told to just pray about it. This is also my longest clean time from drugs. I now am running my own business from home and living mostly on my own with a roommate. I had everything at one point in time, wife, kids, house, car, good paying job. But I lost it all due to delusions and depression that led to a relapse. She wasn’t good for me either way, far from it. I’m slowly building as of now. Barely making it, but much happier. Still struggle with suicidal thoughts and psychosis that gets brought on by stress because I also have complex post traumatic stress disorder from years of abuse during childhood, homelessness during my teens and everything that came with that, as well as my drug usage. I’m in therapy for it, but it’s a slow recovery due to trying to keep from having so much stress from triggered flashbacks that triggers psychosis after so much. I’m on an injection that does most of the work. But every now and then a little of that psychosis seeps through. The worst part of schizophrenia for me is the loss of relationships because people can’t or don’t want to deal with me when something goes wrong. Especially family. But, I am old enough, 29, that I should be taking care of myself without their help. When I had everything made with the family and house I was the sole provider. If I would have chosen a better partner, I quite possibly could have lived a very normal life. I say this just to give hope to those that struggle. It is possible, it just takes some extra work.
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u/Awesome_Austin2025 schizoaffective unspecified 9h ago
I was diagnosed when I just turned 18 in 2024. I waited to tell my psychiatrist details until 18 to avoid him telling my parents about my symptoms and diagnosis but had symptoms for a little bit before that but I can’t remember when the voices actually started. My parents still don’t know how severe my mental health is. They still think I’m just a little depressed but it’s much more than that. My pay diagnosed me with schizoaffective instead of bipolar disorder after giving him more details like the voices. I’ve been on Seroquel which worked for a little bit but then stopped. I tried Cobenfy and I’m still on it but I think that’s also starting to stop working and its side effects suck. I am now in a situation a year and a half after my diagnosis that I’m afraid to tell my psychiatrist the medication isn’t working because I’m afraid he will send me to the psych ward if I do. I fear he will be angry at me for the meds not working anymore. Currently I’m trying to hold myself together. Right now I’m worried I will be dead or in the psych ward very soon.