r/schizoaffective • u/the_befuss bipolar subtype • 1d ago
I am worthy of friends...
I just haven't found the right ones yet? Everyone I thought were my friends have all abandoned me. I have zero friends left. No one will even answer a simple text from me. I think it's because my illness is so severe, it's too real for people who are ultimately shallow and unable to understand what true mental illness looks like. It just makes me feel so worthless and unlovable, like I have no value. Do any of you struggle with this? Have you lost friends because of your illness? How are you dealing with it?
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u/JustBonesOneDay 1d ago
Yeah, it turns out that talking at someone forever is a great way to annoy them out of your life but it seems like nobody is ever the first to talk, and every time I've politely waited for the other person, 'if they wanted to talk to me they would' they slowly faded like smoke... It's sad, I wish I had friends but I understand why I don't. I'm shaped weird... and I don't pick up on social cues enough. Everyone deserves to exist and to have people be kind to them though, for suresies.
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u/Regen_321 1d ago
Your not worthless and valueless. Making friends is difficult for people like us. Be open and kind to yourself.
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u/juansuleiman 1d ago
I've pretty much lost all my old friends. It was the subtle jokes, the strange looks when I wasn't feeling well... people straight up aren't kind when it comes to mental illness. I still have my buddy Ryan, who kept texting me even when I was cutting everyone else off, in the end, so I love him for that a little bit. I was an active musician in my youth, ended up with lots of former band mates and acquaintances throughout the scene. Really... none of them were ultimately worth much, which... sucks. Is what it is, I suppose. I like my alone time, these days, plenty of hobbies and interests. And I suppose I should be thankful for having the social life I did at one point. These days I'm relatively content.
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u/Decent_Skirt_3160 19h ago
I've lost all my friends too. Sometimes people just give up on you. But don't give up on yourself. You are the only friend you need tbh. Be kind to yourself. You'll also find friends in niche places. For example, maybe you'll become friends with your therapy, psychiatrist. People you work with.
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u/Character_Exam_7265 17h ago
I lost most of them because of isolation. Im still yet to make any even though my therapist asks me about it every session/:
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u/AFallenRosePetal 12h ago
You are not worthless, in my personal experience friendships have always been hard. Which they honestly just are. Doesn’t mean it’s you.
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u/makemesmileboi 10h ago
Ive made some friends luckily but trying to make more some that i can hang with and do things with but its proven hard because i don't drive or work 😔
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u/FindingPristine5902 1d ago
Yes. I lost all my friends from high school after I was diagnosed at 21. 7 of my best friends left me and every person I tried to befriend would think I’m weird or crazy. It just made me the person I am today and it’s just a process. You learn to weed out the fakes and can form deeper relationships. I always like the saying, “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” Essentially meaning those who care about you don’t mind seeing you at your worst and those that do see you at your worst and leave you aren’t worth having around unless they come around and genuinely accept you for who you are.