r/sandiego • u/tasty_jams_5280 • 4h ago

Zonie Tourist Boyfriend allegedly used surprise flowers to lure pregnant girlfriend out of San Diego vacation rental, then shot her in the head just weeks before the baby was due…

https://lawandcrime.com/crime/boyfriend-used-surprise-flowers-to-lure-pregnant-girlfriend-outside-then-shot-her-in-the-head-just-weeks-before-the-baby-was-due-cops-and-friends-say/
262 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

76 comments sorted by

217

u/NoSleepCrew 4h ago

I cannot see how this guy thought this would make his life better.

70

u/ohwrite 3h ago

I mean really. Did he think police were just going to say “oh you were angry, ok you can go?”

-220

u/flip69 2h ago

Less time in jail vs busting your ass with child support (and jail if you don’t pay)

Women need to be selective and exercise the family planning that is still available to them.

She was attracted to an irresponsible bad boy and got predictable results with her irresponsibility of making sure she didn’t get pregnant to start with.

Being that she was a minor that’s the families responsibility

134

u/actuallivingdinosaur 2h ago

“A man should be a better person.”

Fixed that for you.

•

u/Hugh_Mungus94 1m ago

Sure, he should be. But shes the one that lost her life. Sometimes you have to be smarter to protect yourself instead of relying on society to be better

-35

u/SD_TMI 1h ago edited 48m ago

It takes two.

This day and age getting pregnant is a choice for women.
So the responsibility is on them for making sure they're with a person that supports starting a family.

There's been a rash of pregnant teen women killed in Arizona as this page points out

This is the third shooting involving a pregnant teenager from Arizona in the past three weeks.

Looks like a situation of irresponsible media (media contagion) giving these guys the idea just like there's influences out there in AZ talking young women into not being on birth control and having children unilaterally.

This murder was only a few days ago... BF didn't want to have a child, she apparently forced it.

__________

So there's a bit to unpack here and I'll ask people to not kneejerk this, but to think about what is going on.

•

u/CrispyHoneyBeef 51m ago

She was a 17 years old girl; it’s hardly “kneejerk” to suggest that her 21 years old boyfriend was solely at fault when he chose to murder her. That shouldn’t really be a controversial opinion.

•

u/SD_TMI 41m ago

There was a typo there... I was asking for users such as yourself to not kneejerk this.

_____________

Have you worked with pregnant teens or are familiar with the dynamics that usually go on with them and their decision processes (yes we're also talking about undeveloped cognitive / emotional / impulsive capacity to control here)

•

u/KimHaSeongsBurner 40m ago

I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that anyone pretending there’s a “both sides” to a cold blooded murder of a 17 year-old pregnant girl has effectively lost the plot.

Also, under Arizona state law, as a minor, she would require parental permission to get an abortion, so this idea that she made a “choice” here is even more fraught.

•

u/SD_TMI 28m ago

Kim, nobody is saying there's a "both sides" here.
You're trying to frame me and what I'm saying.
Either you can't or are unwilling to understand it and so you miss-project it as such.

It's very clear that she's ALSO in the wrong.
Why is she having a child at such a young age with a guy that clearly has such an issue that the family needs to leave their home city and run off hundreds of miles away.

There's been a string of these in AZ in recent weeks where pregnant girls are choosing to become pregnant and are getting killed by guys that apparently didn't want to be a father.

There's a deeper social problem here

The parents are even in the wrong as they should have stepped in and not allowed a guy with that age and developmental gap be fooling around with the daughter to begin with.

•

u/KimHaSeongsBurner 25m ago

I’m not going to engage with a “this is why we should be placing blame on the murder victim” soapbox.

Please engage in some introspection to understand why you believe this and why you’re trying to push this perspective on others.

•

u/actuallivingdinosaur 42m ago

I don’t care if it takes 20. The ADULT MAN had unprotected sex with an underage teenager. Grooming and rape are called into question.

Don’t have unprotected sex if you don’t want a child. Don’t have unprotected sex with a MINOR if you don’t want a child. And while im beating a dead horse, put more responsibility on men to be better humans rather than immediately blaming a woman for being pregnant.

Also I sure as hope everyone here on this thread votes to keep abortion and birth control legal. Because in many states a woman does NOT get the choice to not be pregnant once they are - even in cases of rape.

•

u/SD_TMI 14m ago

So she's not as responsible because her impulsive brain isn't developed enough.
Sure, I'll give you that.

I've seen multiple situations (I worked with pregnant teens while in college) where these guys are in a self acknowledgment that they won't have a future and so they target "young and dumb" "pretty girls" and willingly try to impregnate them.
Because they know they won't ever get a chance like that later on when they're better cognitively developed. The girls even set up a dynamic where they "want" to get pregnant and receive the glowing support and congratulations of others (adults and peers) they see others getitng without realizing the true costs of being a parent.

Cleary this isn't the case in the examples given where the guy was actively trying to stop her.

But in these cases it's clear that these guys (that clearly aren't thinking ahead - also due to a delayed cognitive development with impulsive control) are all feeling trapped and without recourse so they opt to murdering the girl (facilitated by media contagion in that state)

I know they're all genius's here, but doubling down on family planning would have likely prevented these situations and I'm 100% in favor of doubling or tripling down on that in this country.

•

u/actuallivingdinosaur 6m ago

You’re typing out a lot of words to blame the 17 yr old teenage girl and not the 21 yr old who groomed, raped, and murdered her.

47

u/not-jasmine 2h ago

What the fuck

41

u/kindoramns 1h ago

Or, instead of blaming the now dead minor, you can take a look at the dude that thinks this is an acceptable act to take and realize this is 100% on them for being a deplorable human being with no sense of self control.

70

u/Kopitar4president 2h ago

She was 17 you waste of oxygen.

26

u/[deleted] 2h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

18

u/Fishhb2020 2h ago

Seriously what a pathetic way to justify

27

u/Material-Flower5130 1h ago

An absolute shit take from probably an absolute shit person.

17

u/RaineRisin 1h ago

You clearly know her and her entire family’s history. Thanks for filling us in.

/s

•

u/mickelboy182 56m ago

How can someone make a comment like this and not be deeply embarrassed that their mind even went there.

•

u/easeMachined 17m ago

You should have lead with:

Irresponsible bad boys need to not shoot their pregnant girlfriends in the head as a means to deal with an unplanned pregnancy.

Then it would be safe to pivot to:

Women need to be more selective about their mates and make sure they have adequate support networks in place in case an unplanned pregnancy occurs.

Yet you chose to start with blaming the victim’s family after advocating for abortion.

129

u/Lady_of_Shalottt 2h ago

Homicide is the leading cause of death of pregnant women in the US (sorry, can’t post the link)

39

u/Otherwise-Metal8490 2h ago

Homicide is the leading cause of death of pregnant women in the US (sorry, can’t post the link)

I got you on some sources

7

u/Vast_Reply_6574 1h ago

During the 6-year period, 7901 deaths occurred. The leading cause of maternal death was unintentional drug overdose (1152 deaths; 5.2 deaths per 100,000 live births). Violence (defined as homicide or suicide by any means) was the second most frequent cause (866 deaths; 3.9 deaths per 100,000 live births). Homicides accounted for 593 (68%) of all violent deaths and suicides for 273 (32%).

I am curious how age factors in. Are drugs and violence the leading cause of death for women in a similar age range regardless of pregnancy?

I imagine an uptick in the violence given a pregnancy might trigger or exacerbate violence.

•

u/wakeuptomorrow 20m ago

Even with these stats we still have men telling women there’s nothing to be afraid of and our fears are unfounded 🙄

198

u/mydreammaker 4h ago

This is so infuriating, she was only 17 and he was 21

148

u/MattManSD 3h ago

so young adult gets teenager pregnant and then kills her. SMH

63

u/Otherwise-Metal8490 2h ago

so young adult gets teenager pregnant and then kills her . SMH

not just kill her, that's straight up first degree murder with premeditation and planning

-25

u/Legion_Etrangere 2h ago

It depends, especially with the context of emotions at play

52

u/Otherwise-Metal8490 2h ago

Secretly travelled from Arizona to San Diego, tracked down girlfriend where the rest of her family was staying, lured her out with flowers, murdered her in cold blood, ran away after.

I know context and details matter but this sure as hell stinks of first degree murder.

9

u/MattManSD 2h ago

agreed. With then travel, the stalking and the luring out with flowers ...murder 1

51

u/phaserburn725 1h ago

Unfun Fact: in about 50% of teen pregnancies, the fathers are adult men over 20 years old.

19

u/MassiveRope2964 1h ago

That's very unfun and I'm mad now thank you for this new fact I can piss my friends odd with lol

20

u/Ginger_Exhibitionist 1h ago

Statistically, teenage pregnancies are usually the work of adult men.

79

u/Cautious_Article_757 4h ago

As a dad of a daughter. This just makes me sad. In a sense it makes me fear for the days when my daughter is of age. How can I protect her you know?

47

u/Southern_Ad_3171 2h ago

Be a great dad/man/husband to set a wonderful example so she knows what to look for in a man based off of your superior example.

33

u/serpentarienne 2h ago

Also making sure that she feels comfortable coming to you and/or her mom about sexual/reproductive health so she doesn’t get pregnant until she’s ready. Pregnancy is a vulnerable time for women, especially young ones. Unfortunately it’s a time when too many women experience violence from their partners. 

Combine that with a good head on her shoulders as far as who to be in a relationship with, as others have said, and it should start her off well. Thanks for being a kind dad. ♥️

70

u/Antique-Campaign-738 4h ago

The hope I guess is you raised her in a way that she will quickly recognize when someone treats her like crap and not be with them.

6

u/BigJSunshine 2h ago

Or get her an IUD, and then hope she has the sense to pick a decent guy, if they exist in this andrew tatemaXximizer generation

6

u/Starlightriddlex 1h ago

Your daughter should learn what a good man is from you, so she doesn't have to figure it out on her own. Kids learn what to except in relationships from their parents.

8

u/thecatdaddysupreme 2h ago

Honestly just being attentive and there for her I feel like helps avoid “daddy issues” where they mistake attention for love and end up vulnerable to shitty men. But in reality there’s only so much you can do.

16

u/shiftctrlc_rosebud 2h ago

Maybe we shouldn’t use misogynistic terms such as “daddy issues” that is a hateful trope to shift blame on a young girl instead of the piece of shit adult male who groomed her, abused her, impregnated her, and ultimately killed her and potentially her baby.

1

u/thecatdaddysupreme 1h ago

It’s not a misogynistic term lol. It’s a colloquialism, like mommy issues, that describes a bundle of behaviors in a way most people can recognize.

-1

u/mewalkyne 1h ago

If "daddy issues" is misogynistic then is "mommy issues" misandristic?

1

u/Hue_Janus_ 1h ago

If you’re a good man, she will only seek good men.

24

u/honestlynoideas 4h ago edited 4h ago

Reminds me of this, she was pregnant too :( https://www.sandiegouniontribune.com/2007/06/13/man-carrying-flowers-guns-down-woman-in-mission-valley-doctors-office/

23

u/Key-Way-4502 2h ago

Sad fact is that at least as recently as 2022 the leading cause of death for pregnant women in the United States is homicide. May still be the case, just that’s the latest stat I know for sure

6

u/honestlynoideas 1h ago

Unfortunately, homicide still remains a leading cause of death for pregnant and postpartum women in the United States

8

u/Ginger_Exhibitionist 1h ago

Women are most likely to be murdered by their intimate partners.

This is why so many of us choose the bear.

14

u/EquivalentFocus3430 2h ago

The number one cause of death for pregnant women is their partner...

•

u/GKoala 20m ago

Overwhelming amount of murders are by people who knew or were close to the victim. Rarely do people get that emotional at a stranger, it really be the people closest that can bring such emotion and rage out of each other.

4

u/odeezedessenex 1h ago

Every detail somehow makes it worse

9

u/Comment_Alternative 1h ago

Guy was a child molester and graduated to murderer. Poor girl

•

u/meguggs 41m ago

Did the baby live?

•

u/Miserable_Ad_728 4m ago

Yeah. Mother died. Pos dad

•

u/SpunNumeroUno 45m ago

This was the 2am police helicopter that flew over forever on Friday night. The police sirens were pretty intense as well. Just across the canyon here in Bay Park

-23

u/Totalynotavirus 1h ago

Obviously a slew of bad decisions led up to this outcome on both sides but dude just ruined us life overnight.

16

u/hobbitbones 1h ago

Both sides?...

-9

u/Totalynotavirus 1h ago

Cause teen pregnancy is good idea and with a psychopath at that. Bad parenting as well as horrible decision making.

9

u/hobbitbones 1h ago

Right so victim blaming is the path you're going to take instead of denouncing the actual murderer in this situation? You don't know the circumstances at all. There are plenty of men out there who manipulate women into trusting them, and do many other horrible things, none of which are the victims fault.

-4

u/Totalynotavirus 1h ago

His wrong doing is the obvious point, She obviously didn’t deserve what happened to her. But regardless of your situation getting involved sexually or not with an older man as a teen is never a good situation.

•

u/hobbitbones 56m ago

I mean, no shit, it's just that victim blaming/ shaming people and putting negativity out there doesn't help. It's part of the problem, because attitudes like that push people further into bad situations and cause fear of speaking up because they don't want to be judged or shamed. If people want to actually make a difference we need less of this kind of attitude and more education on social matters. A lot of the time kids/ teens are not aware of or don't understand the dangers of things, so education is important, shaming is detrimental.

•

u/GKoala 12m ago

You can't absolve the victim either like they were a perfect saint. It's part of the reason why there's so many people who try to play victim as if just because they're the victim they can be absolved of all accountability. It's not so much victim blaming as it is holding everyone accountable. We shouldn't be sending the message "oh you're a teen, it wasn't your fault".

I've been a teenager, I've had female friends who dated older when we were teens. They as a matter of fact knew what they were doing. Whether they truly realized the consequences or not is a separate discussion, but they absolutely knew what they were doing with the age difference. And the difference between 17 and 18 here shouldn't make one okay and the other not.

6

u/hobbitbones 1h ago

Not to mention, your focus is on the man ruining his life? What about the life of the girl he ruined and stole?

8

u/Motthebop 1h ago

Victim blaming 🙄

6

u/Ok_Two3973 1h ago

What the fuck