r/rickygervais • u/haddock420 MECHANT • 1d ago

You're not coming back here. Fuck off!

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335 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

68 comments sorted by

206

u/Emotional_Cost_3347 1d ago

One chance. Give 'em one chance 

44

u/myhero4000 1d ago

But you only gave him one

47

u/Dickie__Anderson Best of the weather 1d ago

That's always annoyed me that has. Karl says he only gave them one chance, meaning any failure and that's it, no more. Steve said he didn't even give them one chance, but if Karl gave them another, that would be their 2nd chance. Another conversation with myself.

14

u/hotcakes34 1d ago

If he's 27 today, he would have been 26 last week, and he doesn't look 26 - he didn't look 26 last week, and he looks older than 28 today.

27

u/IvoryThrowAway certified wewe 1d ago

DICKERS!

7

u/VoyagerCSL 1d ago

Dicky Docky Doo!

7

u/daemon-of-harrenhal 1d ago

I think Karl meant he'd give them one fuck up, then the second time they're out. But he bollocksed it all up again... in his braaaain. 

5

u/CptIncompetent 1d ago

Yeah he means they get one 2nd chance.

Cos she’d done it before! So you round and slag me off if you want.

11

u/myhero4000 1d ago

ITS DICKY!

5

u/SignificantPlum4883 1d ago

No, it makes sense to me. One chance to fuck up and still keep their job. Next time, you're out!

5

u/Logical_Bake_3108 1d ago

No, cause they'd done it before.

6

u/stargazerphenomenon 1d ago

The dickmeister general

3

u/Jills89 1d ago

Cryptic innit

2

u/London_Guy_87 tingin it's way up the tube 1d ago

Yeah but Karl had to say that after Steve said he didn't give them one chance

2

u/Ill_Tonight_2069 23h ago

Not really sure what you mean. He gave them one chance at being late/ringing in sick. Doesn’t mean you get rid of someone after their first sick day. You don’t sack people for malingering. Got a business to run here.

4

u/MemeMachine64 I feel drained today 23h ago

You've scratched at him and he's just gone mental

3

u/joernal 1d ago

Toilet u bends?

1

u/jayhat 6h ago

Alwsys a little snidey one

72

u/SharkeyGaming This was on the Internet. 1d ago

Yeah but what I thought was interesting was you just scratched and he just went mental.

24

u/PatagonianSteppe Karl “the userrr” Pilkington just takes takes takes 1d ago

Like a bear caught in a trap!

12

u/DagothNereviar 1d ago

He could be one of those people that suddenly goes mental with a pen. I wouldn't really want to wind him up to the point of frenzy.

(It is funny Ricky said this so early on, then proceeded to wind him up for 4 seasons)

43

u/Packie_Presley 1d ago

They just wheel you out when they need you.

5

u/panmaterial 23h ago

Like they wheeled around the disabled fella in Wonderful Tonight?

38

u/morphindel Benny thumped one 1d ago

Wow, well done. You trolled a bald manc.

32

u/rocklou Dilkington 1d ago

Some complaints will be false

34

u/sentientshadow2000 1d ago

Karl is absolutely the type to sigh leave you on read and ignore you

22

u/Defiant_Lawyer_5235 1d ago

Effing and jeffing an that

18

u/mywhitebicycle0 1d ago

Not true bayybee just made it upp

15

u/Sleepygriz A dog has got human eyes. 1d ago

Too much time on yer 'ands, boy. sniff

13

u/MonsterBluth 1d ago

He’s done you again

11

u/marzipaneyeballs 1d ago

Are you a couple of benders?

10

u/RiC_David Wheeere—wot? 1d ago

Ahhh derogatory. That's a shame.

8

u/Samyewlski 1d ago

Feeling a bit livid today

9

u/teo-cant-sleep 21h ago

Fake, for sure. Doesn't read like Karl at all

5

u/TheDevilintheDark 🐴🏚️ 16h ago

That reply is a minute later. Not true baybay!

6

u/Cheesy_crumpet 1d ago

TREAT THE WORLD LIKE A HEAD

9

u/Working-Task 1d ago

Gotta ave your critiques

9

u/Vheisso 22h ago

Seems fake. However I did message him on Facebook a few years ago and he replied with a pretty funny and very Karl like reply. Must... Just....

2

u/davidg4781 15h ago

Yeah I messaged him in 2018 and got a Karl reply 6 hours later.

9

u/Vheisso 15h ago

Mine was 2018 too. I sent him a video of a monkey riding a motorcycle down a road in India and he said "I blame the person who made monkey sized motorbikes". Made me laugh.

5

u/Fearless-Location325 1d ago

Gotta ‘ave ur critics

3

u/felixsleftball Anyone got 50p for the meter? 1d ago

Sour grapes!

3

u/braveheartpenguin 1d ago

“Pull over, pull over, you’re gonna bump - you stupid twat!”

3

u/WearyTraveler- Do we need'em? 23h ago

Ya, but if we was looking for you in a restaurant

5

u/According_Sundae_917 1d ago

Youve just had an interaction with Karl Pilkington. I’d treasure that

8

u/stasisdotcd 1d ago

OP is this real lol

80

u/Tommycopter Toad Rage 1d ago

Next you'll be telling me some monkey news wasn't real

18

u/ElektroSam 1d ago

You're joking

11

u/bishboshbash123 1d ago

Play a record

6

u/slimboyslim9 1d ago

He doesn’t call him “knob ’ead” so I’m calling bullshit.

3

u/JohnF_ckingZoidberg 1d ago

Very obviously not...

5

u/No-Acanthaceae8071 1d ago

It's not in Karl's nature to be all pissy like this; water off a duck's back, innit.

1

u/Novel_Feedback3254 10h ago

Unless he's talking about Duncan or Robin Ince.

2

u/neptune2304 1d ago

We’re never doing this again

2

u/Perciverum180 Little Donkey went down a storm 23h ago

Gotta av your critics!

2

u/ErroneousGibbo 23h ago

Never swear in an on air station

2

u/DarmiansMuttonChops 22h ago

Didn't happen. Play a record.

2

u/jmjarrels 21h ago

I'll sometimes send weird stories to his Facebook account. Ages ago, and I'm talking yonks, there's a ricktual in Borneo where couples who wanna get married have to hold their poo in for three days and nights, and if you do it 'n that, the marriage is meant to be pretty good or summat.

2

u/Quoshinqai 20h ago

He can always wear a hat?

1

u/haddock420 MECHANT 20h ago

No, his thing was that he never wore a hat.

2

u/Deep_Banana_6521 17h ago

I was having a wee once and noticed that my entire collection of Karl Pilkington's books were stored by my partner, right next to the toilet. So I took a picture of it and messaged him saying it was the Pilkington wing of my library and he just replied with "Cheers"

1

u/Independent_Gur_7118 22h ago

Imagine him in a band

1

u/AntiqueSignpost 21h ago

There's always a little snidey one

1

u/f3hunter 9h ago

Anyone else reading that in his voice 😆

1

u/WearyTraveler- Do we need'em? 7h ago

Bloke from Manchester, went a bit madder than the rest. started cursing people on facebook....he we're normal.

1

u/LethalGrey 23h ago

Is this real?

1

u/hallucinationthought 17h ago

I don't agree with that in the workplace!