r/rickygervais • u/PAFC7710 catching up on the olds • Apr 30 '26

The Office Do you want to receive some swollen goods?

Post image
169 Upvotes

90% Upvoted

113 comments sorted by

167

u/CookieComet Apr 30 '26

My wife's got a cock of her own 🎶

-10

u/NotSteveJobs-Job May 01 '26 edited May 01 '26

Parry and Thrust?

The parry uses the sword to block or redirect, while the thrust uses the tip to strike the opponent.

Ooh, you're 'ard

117

u/brain_wrinkler Apr 30 '26

I could eat a nob at night

37

u/Sea_Computer6120 Apr 30 '26

This was on the internet. 

12

u/TheChaddingtonBear May 01 '26

Man woman man man woman tv program

7

u/DopeAsDaPope May 01 '26

FAT BABY ON TELLY... BLUERGHEH I'M A BROADCASTER

3

u/DWERGSY May 01 '26

SORRRYYYY, SOORRRYYYYY. I thought it was shiiiite. I didn't realise it was on the internet.

40

u/McFry__ Apr 30 '26

He just got a taste for it to be honest

10

u/DopeAsDaPope May 01 '26

Well don't keep sucking it... you're a bank manager again!

68

u/Mockolad Apr 30 '26

Im a big fan of Wayne Kerr at home

20

u/howWeAimToLive Apr 30 '26

I don't know his work.

13

u/Relevant_General_248 I’m using me fables Apr 30 '26

He’s a journalist! You can say the name of a journalist on the radio!

16

u/SubstantialHyena2597 Apr 30 '26

You’re the Wayne Kerr mate, if anyone is

1

u/HANDS-DOWN May 01 '26

If you are a big fan of Wayne Keer at home, call now 087001001234

54

u/Effective_Plant7399 Apr 30 '26

I’ll stop you there, why are you telling me this?

9

u/TheChaddingtonBear May 01 '26

He’s just boasting

27

u/Hour-Process-3292 Apr 30 '26

Give me half an hour with her and I’ll be up to me throat in scrote

9

u/Phronesis2000 Apr 30 '26

You'll have your laughing gear 'round the 'ol single-barrel, pump-action, yoghurt rifle.

19

u/Hopeful-Climate-3848 Bishop Muzorewa Apr 30 '26

In one of their videos she literally says "you're not straight."

44

u/Ok_Space1744 Davram Apr 30 '26

... are you a couple of benders ????

33

u/-Cyst- Apr 30 '26

Dutch girls must be punished for having big cocks.

15

u/RoddyViper Apr 30 '26

If you're not happy looking a Dutch girl's knob in the face there's something wrong.

5

u/DopeAsDaPope May 01 '26

It's his wife, Karl!!!!

9

u/robb41 We'd have a chat and a laugh. Apr 30 '26

They should be equal.

13

u/RoddyViper Apr 30 '26

She's sort of well-'ung an' that

11

u/Macnew69 Apr 30 '26

Knob news

4

u/Ldn_twn_lvn a bit demicky Apr 30 '26 edited Apr 30 '26

Apparently Norton says,

"there's a big difference between *lady cock** and guy cock"*

I say, "oooooh, ellooooo!"

11

u/MaxG145 Amploid Apr 30 '26

We luv cok cos the fani is no gud for us

20

u/robb41 We'd have a chat and a laugh. Apr 30 '26

Good luck, Mrs. Croucher.

18

u/Kindly_Decision3402 NO IT'S NOT DEER STREETS Apr 30 '26

3

u/DopeAsDaPope May 01 '26

Just put your fingers in your mouth and say it...

8

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Gentle_Pony Apr 30 '26

Sorry but what's that got to do with anything?

7

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Gentle_Pony Apr 30 '26

Get out. I mean it.

2

u/northbank2001 May 01 '26

Ooh. Don’t ya know?

6

u/chrispyphillips Apr 30 '26

I could eat... I could eat a knob at night

9

u/Logical_Bake_3108 Apr 30 '26

Anyone who listened to Opie and Anthony knew what lil Jimmy was like. Great show by the way with RSK level replay value. Ricky and Steve even made a few appearances.

6

u/scruffle Apr 30 '26

Raammooonneee this guy knows radio

20

u/Dennyisthepisslord Apr 30 '26

Ricky stopped going on Jim's show when he found out Jim's "jokes" about liking trans women weren't jokes.

But this headline isn't legit Jim knows he's a bender

https://x.com/i/status/1953211541706228214

2

u/prosthetic4head chicken with teeth Apr 30 '26

"Yes, my wife has a penis and I suck her off everyday" isn't a lgeit headline, you say!?!

3

u/Dennyisthepisslord May 01 '26

Well if you knew Jim then it could be legitimate...

4

u/scruffle Apr 30 '26

Lil yimmy and his ways

8

u/Logical_Bake_3108 Apr 30 '26

Fawk yeah

5

u/scruffle Apr 30 '26

I’m 57 years young

18

u/sentientshadow2000 Apr 30 '26

The death of Patrice O'Neal and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race

15

u/Hopeful-Climate-3848 Bishop Muzorewa Apr 30 '26

Norton was sucking cock whilst Patrice was alive.

9

u/Logical_Bake_3108 Apr 30 '26

He certainly was. Fawkin peckah sucker.

6

u/justinp456 May 01 '26

Fawkin’ sock cucker

3

u/Hopeful-Climate-3848 Bishop Muzorewa May 01 '26

How about a little cock for the chippah.

10

u/RamonBaharanda Apr 30 '26

^ reads a manifesto a week.

1

u/Sensitive_Horse4659 Apr 30 '26

And Greg Giraldo.

3

u/stere0man Apr 30 '26

Huggy Bears

3

u/creptik1 Apr 30 '26

Butt plugs in the window

3

u/Careless_Wasabi_8943 Apr 30 '26

Hold on...Valerie has a knob!...

5

u/ProudHommesexual Apr 30 '26

Gorgeous women with cocks? That’s disgusting. Where? … do they have some free time or

2

u/Careless_Wasabi_8943 Apr 30 '26

I very tenderly promise her...at least one orgasm...

2

u/Ready-Hat-5683 Apr 30 '26

I don't think you win a Pulitzer for filth

2

u/sugarglassego Apr 30 '26

He’s deeply closeted. But he ain’t coming out!

3

u/PAFC7710 catching up on the olds Apr 30 '26

I didn't even know he was sick

3

u/dezorg May 01 '26

Jimmy ❤️

2

u/moerlingo Paul Shitsthebed May 01 '26

Ooo ello!

2

u/lamebeard May 01 '26

Ooh if only if only. If only my missus had bollocks she’d be my fella.

2

u/Furian_FTH 'is 'ead come off May 01 '26

BONG!

2

u/MortalW0mbat87 Freaky Cheek of the Week May 01 '26

BONG!

2

u/baneblade_boi May 01 '26

It ain't gay if you say "no homo" afterwards

1

u/TCristatus Apr 30 '26

Take a picture...

1

u/9DAN2 Apr 30 '26

Chuck in some free butt plugs

1

u/TankFoster Apr 30 '26

"Hello, Gareth Keenan."

"COCK!"

1

u/Chazzza23 Apr 30 '26

Get out.

Serious.

1

u/buddhahat Where's your brother? He dieeeed. May 01 '26

just wank her off man

1

u/Pompeypete75 May 01 '26

You sir is as as straight as a banana.

1

u/Suspicious-Ad-5946 May 01 '26

Is it bigger than the bread bin?

1

u/Nicaol May 01 '26

You're also still not straight.

Which isn't a lrkbm., if course.

1

u/Djemu88 May 01 '26

Looks like a peeled turtle

1

u/grisbaine May 01 '26

i think i heard about a leaflet they might find useful, though he doesn’t have much hair

1

u/PAFC7710 catching up on the olds May 01 '26

Watermelon

1

u/[deleted] May 01 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/rickygervais-ModTeam May 01 '26

r/rickygervais follows platform-wide Reddit Rules

1

u/Adam_Faith_No_More May 01 '26

I like nobs and tits, baby.

1

u/foalsfoalsfoalz May 01 '26

What do you do when you’re embarrassed? Tell the newspaper

1

u/UndrethMonkeh If you touch a UFO you're gonna get done. May 01 '26

20 bender points

1

u/MrjB0ty May 01 '26

Is it bigger than a bread bin?

1

u/Any_Advance725 May 01 '26

A cock is a male bird and I don’t mean a tranny

1

u/WallabyStraight3597 May 01 '26

A man who is now half a woman!

1

u/kapaipiekai May 02 '26

"Chip Chipperson, How the wife? Has she fucked you yet?"

1

u/PracticalFocus3525 May 02 '26

Little Jimmy Norton has always been half out the closest

1

u/thighsand May 02 '26

"by Wayne Keer Hoffmann." Dubious.

1

u/zukmuk May 02 '26

I’ll stop you there; why are you telling me?

1

u/jakhog1 May 02 '26

It’s not a woman with a cock, it’s a man with tits

1

u/geoffs3310 May 03 '26

Knowing him he'd end up with the brother

1

u/crabapple335 Apr 30 '26

Play a record, I want a word with you about puns

1

u/joernal Apr 30 '26

Play a record

1

u/obsoleteconsole As me or as a worm? Apr 30 '26

I'll stop you there - why are you telling me this?

0

u/prosthetic4head chicken with teeth Apr 30 '26

Just the way he refers to her "my wife"

-4

u/AgapitoVelezOvando May 01 '26

I love Jimmy's comedy, but if you're wife has a penis, she's your husband, and you're far from straight... And there ain't nothing wrong with that, but it is what it is.

-1

u/Equivalent_Thing_324 Apr 30 '26

Is that normal ?

0

u/FilipsSamvete May 01 '26

Fuck yeah, 5 stars

-1

u/Lowspam Apr 30 '26

Just pop it in a bowl first

-5

u/elonmuskshagsrockets Apr 30 '26

Course he does, look at those hands hes probably frightened of a hiding.