r/lebanon • u/idontspeakbaguettes • 17d ago
Vent / Rant Off my chest: Parents are a financial burden
Listen I "love" my parents (I don't love anyone in reality im broken anyways) but I'm realizing Im spending too much money on their needs, they're old, poor since I was a chid, they don't have a retirement fund and rely on children for financial support.
Recently I realize that on a monthly basis their expenses are more than mine! and Im trying to save and cook everything at home and not travel, not do anything!
Not to mention they didn't (God forbid) get sick yet, i live abroad and send them money, works for now, but Im not sure about the future,
This is no way to undermine that they're my parents but Im struggling to save for my future, is this the Lebanon post 7areb ahlye curse?
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u/Less_Significance913 17d ago
We’re all on the same boat. They took care of us and now it’s our turn. Some parents did everything right but then lost it all in 2019.
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u/NoHetro 17d ago
Didn't ask to be born.
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u/Sherwoodlg 16d ago
It seems that you where quite eager to out swim those other 500 million sperm to get inside that egg.
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u/idontspeakbaguettes 17d ago
i hate this Lebanese argument "they took care of us, now its our turn", child care shouldn't grant retirement "funding"
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u/BeautifulCalendar475 17d ago
I disagree with your perspective. It’s in our blood as a culture. We are a collective society and that’s what makes it beautiful.
I’m not saying you don’t owe yourself a good life, but I would take care my own mother / siblings before I travel and enjoy my life. I’d also have a conversation about what is reasonable and viable regarding support
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u/Lebaneselostsoul 17d ago
It's in our culture because we literally do not have a functioning government that provides social welfare, public pensions, adequate public healthcare etc. We have to be completely self reliant. And even if we do everything right, squirrel away enough money to take care of retirement, the banks steal it all with impunity. This country is so fucking exhausting.
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u/TheRedNomad18 17d ago edited 17d ago
You are right, youre getting downvoted to hell but you are right,irresponsible parents have children they can barely afford, so they can live shit lives and when they eventually do the work and get out of the hole after years, theyre pulled back in because the parents are now old and need someone to support them, when you have a child you owe them everything, they owe you nothing, and they are not responsible for you not planning your life out before they even came into existence(their existence in itself being YOUR decision)
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u/puffVortex 17d ago
You do realize that the government programs you fantasize about (like the ones in Europe) are the exact same thing but you pay a complete stranger instead of your parents?
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u/overactive-bladder 17d ago
that's what insurance is. and retirement pensions are. and unemployment wages are.
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u/puffVortex 17d ago
Point is, instead of giving the government money to pay other old people, give the same money directly to your parents…
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u/overactive-bladder 17d ago
except not everyone has the means to do so necessarily.
your point was moot.
the idea behind pensions and insurance is that people can get their fair share of money equally or comparable to what they worked for their whole lives. Or equivalent to what they need at a certain point in time.
So that their lives aren't destroyed or implode due to sudden illnesses for example.
The idea is to outsource that input so that the whole of society takes care of everybody and themselves.
What you are proposing is that individuals do that on individual levels, even though they don't have the means to.
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u/Space_Majestic 17d ago
i hate this Lebanese argument "they took care of us, now its our turn", child care shouldn't grant retirement "funding"
It's called filial responsibility
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u/darkmz7 17d ago
You see those downvotes on your comment, hay lmchkle lasesye l3enna yeha. People think eno lmachekel lneyka 7ayetna mn wara lbalad saret culture w khassa bl society. INVEST IN THE EDUCATION SECTOR.
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u/Status_Lifeguard6192 17d ago
Chou khas downvotes aa his comment bi what people think the issue is? Are you ok? Please reassess how smart and how educated you are before telling people to educate themselves. The irony!
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u/BCBenji1 15d ago
This is the cultural norm since the beginning of time. You should ask yourself why this behaviour hasn't died off, given it's incumbent on the children. I'll tell you. Duty.
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u/DeeDeeRibDegh 17d ago
This⬆️⬆️⬆️
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u/DeeDeeRibDegh 17d ago
Why the downvoting?? Asking an honest question.
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u/throwawaynomade 17d ago
Because while this is true, abandoning your parents and let them be humiliated is something we don't find socially acceptable.
Our culture is shitty in many ways but one thing we have going for us is parents don't abandon their children (even when they are older children) and vice versa. Not just parents but uncles/aunts, cousins and grandparents.
That's why with all the massive economic turmoil, sky high unemployments ... we did not have societal breakdown, random acts of violence and crime(excluding non-Lebanese) are low and you don't find the rate of alcoholism, drug abuse and barely any homelessness much wealthier countries have.
And some of us have seen your repeated comments about your misery with your Lebanese ex-husband because he financially helped his family back home and it has become annoying. I don't know the details, nor am I interested in a once sided story, and you may be right. Regardless, the downvotes are deserved.
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u/DeeDeeRibDegh 17d ago
Still very married to him. We got thru what we had to. As many have said, it is what it is, within a person’s own capabilities. So, if I understand what ur trying to get at, is as a spouse, we should have no say in our own/own family’s future? Am I correct in understanding your comment? And no, not enough discourse is done on the impacts of this on their own families (spouses/children). Sorry, our experiences are are own & we should not be shamed into not discussing it.
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u/Remarkable_Intern230 17d ago
Nobody else will do it, they are your parents. You didn't choose to be born nor did you pick them.
Regardless, you can sleep at night knowing you're doing what a decent human would do. I.e. 3am ta3mol wejbak.
After they pass away, you might feel better knowing you did it as well.
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u/SuicidalSnowyOwl 17d ago
Most us are in the same position, but what other choice do you have? It does get exhausting at one point but it is what it is.
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u/idontspeakbaguettes 17d ago
It's realizing you're in this debt you didn't sign up for
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u/DeeDeeRibDegh 17d ago
Yup…😞. Their future was ruined, thru no fault of their own….& the next generation’s future is ruined. It’s sadly a vicious cycle. Hands are tied….
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u/idontspeakbaguettes 17d ago
omg this exact feeling, it bothers me so much, it pops up randomly when im checking my expenses
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u/DeeDeeRibDegh 17d ago
Ofc, It helps if you have other siblings that can help also. You can split expenses with them. In the case of my husband, he was the ONLY one living abroad. So, he could “afford” to. All this expectation…do others realize that there are high expenses (mortgage, car payments/car insurance….& children (MAJOR expense). Anyway, this all I’m sure, are things you are well aware of. Put it this way, there came a point where there was worry about $$, & you should not allow yourself to sink. Be honest with them & if they love/respect you they will understand….
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u/DeeDeeRibDegh 17d ago
Just read title & my anxiety level went sky high….OP, you have my sympathy & understanding. Having gone thru this, as a spouse, & it’s hard, very, very hard.😞
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u/t0039341 Lebanese Diaspora 17d ago
I am in the same position, however, due to my high salary, I do save a bit of money.. also, honestly? that's the least I can do, my mother carried me and took care of me, and my father spent on me and sent me to study in England for uni. He spent over 100k on me, and that's the least I can do. The problem with my family, is that my father worked in politics, and he was an MP, and he had his money in LBP, and guess what happened after 2019? :) in any case, the only thing he got out of it was a lifetime great private health insurance for him and my mother, which I really appreciate, as they can get free top notch healthcare in Lebanon.
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u/Zoughi0 17d ago
Same situation, especially after the 2019 crisis they lost their pension and savings which is not their fault. They were good to me as a child there is no reason not to return the favour.
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u/confringos Berghoul 3a banadoura 17d ago
What if OP wants to follow their dreams or ambitions or start a family? Should he sacrifice his own desires to return the favor?
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u/Zoughi0 17d ago
By brother and I sacrifice for our parents because they sacrificed for us as children and put us in the best schools and universities. They invested in us and they are entitled to a return on their investment. Not to mention they lost everything in 2019 so I cannot fault them. My parents are here in Canada with me (they rent their own place) and the cost of living is double that of Lebanon yet we gladly pay the cost. It's non negotiable.
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u/confringos Berghoul 3a banadoura 17d ago
You are NOT an investment, nor are they. Describing this situation as a return on investment is wild.
It was their DUTY as parents to raise you, feed you and educate you with what they can. Kudos to them for being caring parents who wanted you to be in the best schools.
No one’s asking you to fault them for losing their savings, and you being able to support them out of the goodness of your heart is admirable, but should not be compared or equated to them raising you as a child.
Helping them out of familial duty when necessary is understandable, but going above and beyond and sacrificing your own family’s (wife and kids) comfort and postponing long term goals so you keep supporting your parents should never be the norm.
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u/Zoughi0 17d ago
You do realize that people invest in themselves and others. You have a narrow interpretation of the word "invest".
It was not their duty to pay for my tuition at AUB or for my brother at UofT. It was not their duty to send us to Canada at their own expense so we can have better lives. It is an investment because they could have put the money in the stock market or real estate but instead they invested in us and went above and beyond for us so we go above and beyond for them.
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u/confringos Berghoul 3a banadoura 17d ago
So you’re saying they took care of you not out of love and because you are their son ans they are your parent, but because one day they expect to be treated the same. Miss me with that conditional love.
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u/Zoughi0 17d ago
There is a HUGE difference between simply taking care and going ABOVE AND BEYOND.
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u/confringos Berghoul 3a banadoura 17d ago
Again, I repeat, I am glad you have good parents who love you, but you should not gaslight yourself into thinking that sacrificing your own life and needs to support your parents every month is “non-negotiable” and comes before you or your own wife and kids because your parents “invested” in you as a child as you so proudly put it.
Helping them with what you can, without harming your or your own family’s needs is another matter entirely and is wholly acceptable. But that is your prerogative.
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u/Space_Majestic 17d ago
I am glad you have good parents who love you
You clearly don't.
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u/confringos Berghoul 3a banadoura 17d ago
My parents put us in the best schools and positions in life, and expect nothing in return because they want us to be happy.
Us helping them is out of the goodness of our heart and love for them, unlike the rampant signs of conditional love I keep seeing under this post. Keep your projections to yourself perhaps.
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u/throwawaynomade 17d ago
Theoretically, that is true. But please walk me through the alternative and how it would work, on a practical level.
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u/confringos Berghoul 3a banadoura 17d ago
Practically, age of the parents and their health are huge factors in all of this.
If they are old or have severe health issues, everything I said becomes secondary.
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u/Space_Majestic 17d ago
What if OP wants to follow their dreams or ambitions or start a family? Should he sacrifice his own desires to return the favor?
It's obvious you come from a broken family so there's no point in explaining things to you from a moral perspective.
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u/confringos Berghoul 3a banadoura 17d ago edited 17d ago
It’s obvious you literally do not understand the concept of unconditional love and wanted to jump at the opportunity to throw your own insecurities and childhood experiences onto others.
I fortunately come from a very loving family that only wanted me to be happy in life and raised me in a very loving and non conditional manner. They did not expect me to sacrifice my own wellbeing and dreams for others, a concept called unconditional love, which seems very foreign to you, from what you’re saying.
Me or my siblings helping our parents is indeed welcome, but NOT an obligation. When they grow old, we will pitch in and support them completely where we can.
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u/Alarmed_Price2224 16d ago
I love how this reddit post turned into a rant for alot of families so I might as well share mine lol
I am married and live abroad. I live comfortably, but not rich by any means. Toli3 l sha3er 3a lsene w ana 2ool la ahle leave the dahye.
Mind you the price of our apartment went so high after the 2006 war, yet still they didn't want to leave the da7ye. They believed they are safe there, while I clearly didn't see that.
They also inherited a house in the south and now the apartment is half ruined from the bombing and the house in the south is unlivable.
So, because of decisions THEY made, I AM now paying double rent. For myself and for them. (Their rent is $1k a month)
And not just that, I am paying for their groceries (which I don't argue about at all), but they spend close to $200 a month just to smoke and they made it as clear as the sun that this is a must for them lol.
W then b kel wa27ane, they ask me when am I gonna have a baby. Seriously? Are you fucking serious now?
Like, YOU are my babies now lol. I take care of you, paying to have a roof over your head through no fault of my own but due to your own stubborness and now they want me to have a baby while I live abroad.
That is one of the reasons I don't want to bring any kid into this world. I don't want to force them to come into a wicked world through no fault of their own. W ma bade ba3den en sar ma sar to rely on them financially to keep me afloat. I would rather die peacefully in my sleep before doing that.
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u/Kooky_Ad_909 17d ago
I dont think its fair to fund their travels and any extravagant costs. Maybe cut back on what you send, and make sure whatever you send that is usually spent on extravagant things you keep to yourself as savings? Sometimes honestly you just need to lie to Lebanese parents and say you have additional expenses because they feel entitled to this. I see this with many parents and their kids!
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u/RealCreedz 17d ago
I know you're not looking for solutions because it's a rant. Still, a direct conversation about this could go a long way.
Obviously that's not to say you haven't tried that yet. I just don't know if you have.
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u/Sudden_Prompt_4818 17d ago
A lot of these comments disappoint me. Ofcourse we should always want to help family members if they are struggling, but clearly many Lebanese parents have kids expecting them to be their retirement plan. Sorry but this emotional blackmail is toxic and harmful to society when parents basically expect to continue the cycle of financial burden on their offsprings.
Don’t have kids to expect a payout in the future.
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u/Royo981 17d ago
Getting old sucks. Especially in Lebanon . That said , ur doing well by helping them. But one thing u can do is teach them the simple shortcuts. Don’t order from the next door grocery store, go to the supermarket instead . Don’t cook for a family if ur only 2 Use those cheaper brands instead of the expensive ones
W heyk Things add up quickly
And may they live long
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u/DeeDeeRibDegh 17d ago
Yes, & if they have maid, they may seriously think of getting help from sons/daughters living close to them to do the chores.
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u/Resilient_101 17d ago
Boundaries, my friend, boundaries. We all need to set boundaries on what we can and cannot afford.
Create a budget. See where your expenses are and how much you are sending your parents each month. Talk to your siblings about their contributions. You shouldn't be the only one doing the heavy lifting.
Trust me, the more you give, the more they expect you to give more. The more they rely on you, the less they rely on themselves or on anybody else. So set a boundary. Have that difficult conversation because you too have a life. Some people think that "sacrifice" is what life is all about; well, it isn't.
And you'd probably want to look for a higher paying job. Once you land one, never share your salary with anyone. That's a very private matter that is no one's business.
And get your parents private insurance if they don't already have one. The last thing you need is some emergency where your depleting savings will evaporate in a few seconds.
Good luck!
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u/ShadiChastain 17d ago
I have taken care of my family since my father passed over a decade ago when I was still in university. My mom sacrificed her life to get me to where I am right now. I spend a lot of money to support the household, it's basically 85% me and the rest my little sister chips in with.
Does it get hard sometimes to sacrifice things I want, including my own future stability? Of course. But I love my mom more than anything and will continue to provide for her so she can live in dignity as long as both of us are alive.
She is a big reason for why I am able to have a good corporate job. And I would rather give up things I want for her. Not saying you should do the same for your family, but that's how I am with mom.
Also, buy them insurance if you can. My mom got sick once and I had to pay up to 5k$ in medical expenses. Since then i got her insurance, the premium one. It is hefty (around 4k$) a year, but I sleep better at night knowing she will always have that to lean on incase she ever gets sick.
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u/overactive-bladder 17d ago
I would go as far as to say parents are an emotional burden more so than financial.
the emotional blackmail rooted in our culture is letting emotional vampires leech off their offsprings. Especially with the mothers refusing to cut the ombilical chords and growing more emotionally immature with age.
gebran khalil gebran said "Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself".
And I wish Lebanese parents recognised that and incorporated it in their daily life.
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u/Capable_Bad_3813 17d ago
Are their expenses mostly necessities? Or are they spending irresponsibly?
The first step is to see where the money is going and then look at how to approach the situation.
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u/Exciting_Bee7020 17d ago
Are you the only one supporting them?
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u/idontspeakbaguettes 17d ago
no me and my siblings (i cant imagine doing this alone)
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u/Exciting_Bee7020 17d ago
That's helpful! Are you all helping equally? Or is there a way that your sibling could help remove some of the burden on you?
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u/idontspeakbaguettes 17d ago
we usually fight over money lol, they drag me into expenses which i think dont make sense, then guilt trip you (oh pay in installments)
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u/Exciting_Bee7020 17d ago
ahhh that's tough... I had some ideas, but they would only work if the siblings are all gracious and understanding of one another
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u/Immediate_Essay_651 Lebanese 17d ago
I hear u, I was stuck in a similar arrangement for some while, Leb is getting super expensive. And I told my older and smaller siblings to work. Two of them are uni grads
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u/Steve2028 17d ago
This is something normal in lebanon you are at the starter lane… start thinking about who will look after your parents. Common comorbidity here in lebanon is heart problems, busted kidneys and uh diabetic… your expenses now is sustainable until the sickness creeps like a surprise gift and you can only pray to god to take them peacefully without suffering or having one parent care over the other and die later because of fatigue or with bombs or w.3 kills them here . Now for example since my father had no plan no life goals just sit and complain all his life time flew and he got hit with aorta anyurism. I’ve been doing my best funding and supporting and I lived abroad for awhile only to return and care for him because this is the only way I can afford to keep up and care for 2 elders. I work from home which I suppose got lucky but I barely go outside the only time I go outside is to buy food and go to dialysis wait for the old man 3 hours before returning home gas is expensive now… other than that I don’t have a life and it revolves around him. I used to think how to save money but really you can only sell yourself or dance on table to sustain such a luxury lifestyle for stupid parents. 😭 but to be honest you must have atleast 30-45k$ for any kind of shit hits the fan sickness and after that medicine costs like 160$-200$ depending on their sickness. So try your best to get into insurance as it can help with laboratory tests hospital room consultation etc it’s tough but it is a reality we are the sandwich generation. I hope you have brothers and sisters to support this it’s not easy.
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u/TAMUOE USA 17d ago
Tell me about it. We are paying my fiancé’s parents ungodly amounts of money. I don’t even want to say how much, because it’s embarrassing. And yet every month they don’t save a penny of it. Like honestly what is that about? It’s just extortion at this point
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u/confringos Berghoul 3a banadoura 17d ago
I think the problem lies in your flair.
Did you ever happen to share your US salary details with them? They’re greedy as fuck regardless
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u/TAMUOE USA 17d ago
The most insane thing to me is the shear negativity that they express about our lives when they’re the ones getting money from us. And of course my fiancé doesn’t stand up for herself at all.
Her mother has no concept of numbers. I could tell her I make a million dollars a year and she’d be like “œuf only this much??” She thinks she’s the Emira of Qatar or something idk
We’re getting married next month in the US. I’ve been mentally preparing myself for a year for the parental commentary. “œuufff why is it so small?” “It is very boring” “where is the cake? Only this? Oeuffffff”
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u/confringos Berghoul 3a banadoura 17d ago
That is honestly one of the most unhinged engagement experiences I have heard.
You don’t owe your fiancee’s parents anything except love and respect. They are not your wife nor your direct family. If you and your fiancee don’t start setting up some serious boundaries now, you’ll remain fucked for the entirety of your marriage (which hasn’t even started and all this shit is happening!!!)
What’s weird to me is the fact that your fiancee is okay with you getting financially manipulated by her parents. She seriously needs to step up, if not for herself, at least for you!!
Out of curiosity, what do your parents have to say about this?
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u/Lebaneselostsoul 17d ago
I can hear the oouff 😄 The problem is the middle class that got shafted by the banks have not adjusted well to being poor. They still want to maintain their lifestyles (restaurants every weekend, weekly nail and hair appointments, botox etc) even if they don't have the funds. Your fiancée is just trying to keep the peace cos no one will guilt trip like a lebanese parent.
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u/No-Truck5126 17d ago
Bro ive been through this once. People that cant fathom numbers should be avoided or contained otherwise they will spill and mess you up.
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u/idontspeakbaguettes 17d ago
im sorry your fiancé's parents? thats too much 💀, let your fiance pay that shit, i would break up ngl
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u/Standard_Ad7704 Beyrouth 17d ago edited 17d ago
I think that the OP alluded that the entire family is paying for the fiancé's parents. So, I'm assuming the fiancé is definitely paying that money to their parents. I'm not sure if the OP is actually contributing or not. Maybe they are, but they said "we", which is a plural, so I don't think that they're specifically referring to themselves.
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u/overactive-bladder 17d ago
what do they even spent it on?
and you aren't even married. Dude, reconsider. Why go through life like that.
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u/razzzmannn 16d ago
Same boat as you.
They took care of me for 20+ years until i moved out, now its my turn and duty to repay it back.
Money comes and goes, your parents are not here forever. They now need you more than ever, same as when you needed them when you were a kid and vulnerable to the world.
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u/mary189ch 15d ago
What about when you were the burden? I understand you didnt ask to be born or to any of this, but i used to think the same, sadly the moment you lose a family member, perspectives change, and you wish all that money can bring them back just so you get to see them one more moment again, especially when you live abroad away from any of this...
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u/dominantleb1 11d ago
Money comes and goes.. but parents never stay forever. Im telling you this since i lost one of them. Cherish them. Love them. Embrace them for who they are and never forget how much they’ve done and sacrificed for you
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u/confringos Berghoul 3a banadoura 17d ago
This isn’t necessarily about your parents, but financial manipulation is very real.
Alla ytawwil omer ahlak; w ma am ehke 3annon, but Lebanese parent mentality is weird as fuck, especially their sense of entitlement over their kids’ earnings.
To narcissistic parents: Why raise a kid only to make them your slave when they grow up? Why act like the basic act of being a parent is something that your kid should compensate you for when they grow up?
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u/idontspeakbaguettes 17d ago
The thing that bothers me is that they were ALWAYS poor, yet they brought in children with no thoughts of how tf are we going to finance them, and then Im cursing my existence because all im doing is working my ass off struggling to save
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u/confringos Berghoul 3a banadoura 17d ago
This is going to sound harsh, but it is so wrong to give more than half your salary to them monthly.
My advice is for you tell them that you got laid off or found another job with lesser pay, and keep AT LEAST 60% of your salary to yourself.
They survived before you were born, and they can and will survive now.
Also, how tf are you going to work on yourself/follow your ambitions/start a family of your own if more than half of your income is going to your parents???!!!
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u/DeeDeeRibDegh 17d ago
Seriously, most parents do think about this, they really do. But, they do not realize what it takes to survive outside of Lebanon. OP, imo needs to keep their financial situation abroad to themselves. There needs to be a serious accounting of their parents expenses & take it from there.
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u/confringos Berghoul 3a banadoura 17d ago
I wholeheartedly agree, and feel sad for kids who allow themselves to be exploited by their parents/siblings under the guise of familial duty.
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u/KingEK555 17d ago
Not against helping my parents but yeah it gets too much, especially the blackmail, i know completely avoid interracting with them all day because everytime I do I get blackmailed into giving them more money.
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u/riek1 17d ago
It’s only when we get older we realize how much taking care of someone else financially is really difficult. Imagine all the times when you were a kid and they took care of you. I’m not saying you have to do it for the rest of your life, but I swear to you every penny, I spend on my mother or my sister with a happy heart and a smile on my face. God send it back to me in other way, do it with happiness and love and see and pray for them. Never abandon your parents or someone else will abandon you in your life. Trust me. you might have full energy now and you might be working and healthy hundred percent, but life comes very fast at us.denye douleb bro
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u/Unlucky_Tap_3097 17d ago edited 17d ago
what do you think they thought when they brought yo to this world, how much money they have spent on you , raising you, all the sleepless nights when you were a kid.. can you put a price on that !
they sacrificed everything they had for you even if everything they had wasnt even enough for them to begin with.. yet they raised you and never gave up on you.
i am sacrificing my youth for my parents as well, i preferred to stay in this shitty country without having any hope to build a life not getting married , just to be beside them as they are getting old,
many of us dont have the luxury like some rich people to both build our life while taking care of our parents.. we have to sacrifice one of them..
be grateful your parents are alive and healthy, alot of people are ready to trade anything in the world just to see their parents one last time or hear their voice or see their smile..
parents need us the most as they get older. one day you will be in their exact shoe , and you will experience the same . life is a wheel , you will be in their spot at one point in your life.
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u/darkmz7 17d ago
Nah its not as black and white. Nobody asked them to "sacrifice" all they had to bring him. Raise funds for your kids for them not to struggle later, the easiest fucking logic you can follow. Khalsona mn hal 3a2lye lkhara lli kharabet ajyel. Boomer mentality.
Edit: He could be in their exact shoes later bas lfare2 eno fi khedem 7wele w m2amin 3iche la wledo.
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u/Unlucky_Tap_3097 17d ago
may God help you with such mindset. hope you are young like in your early 20s with such a mindset , because life will definitely teach you a hard lesson later on on life.
i cant speak for other peoples experience on how they were treated and raised by their parents, but my parents sacrificed everything for me, we didnt even have the luxury to go to a restaurant growing up nor buy cloths as frequent as other families, they spent all their money to sent us to the best schools and universities they could afford. as they wanted me to graduate and become a successful in life, but this country had other plans for most of us, that stripped from us our future,
the love i received by them , i know i wont receive it from anyone else in this world, they are living angels and i only wish God give them a long and healthy life.
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u/darkmz7 17d ago
DO NOT GET KIDS IF YOU CANT AFFORD IT. As simple as that, ma talabet menak ta3mele coaching aw tkhaberne khbarak l7azine, i couldn't care less. 7ej tozlmo brabon la hal wled. Ma ba2a tesma3 wa3zat lkhoure bl knise kamen, ahama chi.
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u/Unlucky_Tap_3097 17d ago
based on the way you are putting your ideas into words, you look fairly young , maybe not by age rather by maturity also.. and i dont mean this as negative way.
but this argument is the most stupid idea i always keep on hearing from people .
you never know what lifes brings , you could have so much money before marriage and things might happen after having kids like war , like health issues such as cancer, like suddenly losing your customers, like being forced to leave the country .. life is very unpredictable ... and you have no control over your life, because we are so much effected from circumstances out of our control than we give credit for..
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u/darkmz7 17d ago
Ill only reply to the things you mentioned about whats being discussed and i won't feed your other blabbering. I completely agree that life is chaotic and no matter how much money you have could be gone in seconds, though this is irrelevant because most of the kids that grow up poor come from poor and uneducated parents, the main problem is the amount of kids these parents get too. Go check statistics and facts in third world countries and compare their living conditions with other countries.
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u/Status_Lifeguard6192 17d ago
Yes cause life is so easy and expected specifically in Lebanon. You can make financial plans for the next 20 years and have financial stability. I feel so bad for you, you all are probably a bunch of teenagers or in your early twenties. Know sht about life.
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u/Status_Lifeguard6192 17d ago
That's exactly my thoughts, I feel so bad for their parents. They want unconditional love and give the most conditional. As if they chose this life. They probably are feeling like a burden but are very thankful for him providing for them. Akid they are saying: ma eezna nmed idna la hada. And here he is. It's so sad i can't put it into words
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u/flavius_emporius 17d ago
It’s hard, I know. But that’s what differentiates us from ajaneb who dump their parents in homes to let them slowly die there…
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u/Space_Majestic 17d ago
Not to mention they didn't (God forbid) get sick yet, i live abroad and send them money, works for now, but Im not sure about the future,
If you’re already complaining now then what will you do when they become much older, seriously ill, and need full-time caregivers because they live alone in Lebanon? Your expenses could easily double or triple then.
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u/Majestic_Guitar270 16d ago
You kinda owe it to them .. bcz you are what u are bcz of them .. they postponed their life to make u successful.. the spent their earnings for ur tuitions so be grateful and at least try not be selfish .. they did their part raising u to be the man u are and it's ur duty to take care of them in their hard days ..and be sure that if they'd still have their own money they wouldn't ask u for any help bcz parents have dignity and it's hard for them to ask their children for it .. and they want what's best for their children so they wouldn't ask you even if their life depended on it .. but I guess here in these situations we know who are the ones we can depend on or not .. and I guess ur parents will be very disappointed to hear that ur spending money on parties and they can't find money to eat or buy medicin .. but hey go live ur life !
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u/themadscientist003 Tech Enthusiast 16d ago
Yea until the day one of them passes away. Then you'll regret even writing this and the thoughts you're having right now about taking care of them financially or non financially will haunt you forever. Don't do this to yourself. How much I wish my father was still around and I would take care of him with everything I have, I don't want anything for myself I just wish I can have him back 🙂 Be happy they are healthy and all you need is buying them food and pay some bills.
On another note, that blame should be directed at your dumbass government or whatever you call as a state here. No retirement plans for the elderly nothing you're past 64 you're out for the wolves. Add that to stealing everyone's money in 2019 makes you wonder why do people still even pay taxes in this shithole.
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u/WhateverThisis144 Foreigner Residing in 🇱🇧 17d ago
Just leave them no one would notice. You are not obligated to spend on them. The economy is already fucked as it is
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u/Particular_Tour7062 9d ago
You can't pour from an empty cup. Set a fixed amount, send it every month, and protect the rest. They need you functional, not broke.
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u/Azrayeel Lebanese 17d ago
Totally understandable, but they won't be around forever. Cherish them while you can. Fuck money. Even if you saved all the money in the world, you could lose it in an instant. cough our banks cough So just do your best, and you'll be rewarded.