r/infj Jul 28 '14

INFJ couple - two flowers growing in the same pot?

Forgot where I heard that one, but it pretty much describes what dating another INFJ feels like to me. I just ended my third relationship with another INFJ guy and I've decided: never again. Anybody else feel that relief of getting your space (and self) back after ending it with another INFJ?

11 Upvotes

8 comments sorted by

13

u/realharlot Jul 28 '14

I used to be in a relationship with an INFJ. It was my first relationship from the age of 16-20.

He died of a heroin overdose last summer and he was a writer. I think when I left the relationship because of his growing drug abuse and the need to flourish on my own things went downhill for him and he never recovered. I will always love him dearly.

I definitely felt like I didn't have enough space in the relationship. I felt like he expected me to save him, but that isn't a nineteen year old woman's responsibility.

12

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '14 edited Jul 28 '14

[deleted]

7

u/macktastick INFJ, 33M Jul 28 '14

Exactly. If anything, I would expect an INFJ to be be more empathetic.

8

u/tanukis_parachute Jul 28 '14

my wife and i are both infjs. we've been married for 19 years. dated for three years before that. we have four kids together. my previous marriage to an entj...that was a relief to get out of.

all depends on the person.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '14

An ENTJ? Oh, hell's bells. That would usually be a marriage made in Hell.

6

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '14

I'm an intense person. Dating another intense person would be too much to handle, because I'm too much to handle just by myself.

2

u/recklesswreck Jul 28 '14

This. One of me is enough.

5

u/themorningmoon 28/F/INFJ dating 26/M/INFJ Jul 28 '14

I think it highly depends on the INFJs in question. I've been very happily dating a fellow INFJ for almost four years, and I know some others in this sub have had similar experiences.

3

u/beyondtheridge Jul 29 '14

My husband and I are both INFJs and both feel extremely fortunate to have each other for over 20 years.