Fantasy numbing

[u/Dismal-Meal2173]

So most people have a fantasy or a set of fantasies that they use when they "engage" themselves. It can be about a certain person or situation. But in the HS mindset and always sexually engaged I feel like fantasies only work for so long before they start to lose their flair or erotism... So what then, what next? Of course we move on to something or someone new but sometimes for me, that moves the bar of what I fantasize about and what someone would find normal also into more taboos and unconventional things. Some of which at one point I would have been grossed out or physically repulsed by into the realm of more acceptable thoughts.... Of course this is all fantasy but if given the chance I've come to accept that I would actually try it, to that end makes me feel disgusted and disappointed in myself.... But those things that aren't acceptable fuel the next endorphin rush that makes me feel good until I think about it all.... It's going down a rabbit hole in a sense and being buried by the disappointment but it feels like I can't stop falling... Anyone ever feel the same or want to share thoughts about this. Thanks for reading and hopefully understanding

[u/Artistic-Western-685]

I watch a lot of p0rn, and scroll through Reddit for inspo as well. Same as you, at first it’s all low-key. But I very quickly shift to CNC, rough domination, free use etc. In the moment it’ll make cum so hard and often, it’s incredible.

But afterward I feel like I’m gross and disappointing. I keep fantasising though. I’ll fantasise about it not just being my imagination, and all my desires are flooding me for a turn, a big part of me wants it so bad

[u/Arden-Rosamond → u/Artistic-Western-685]

same

[u/Dismal-Meal2173 → u/Artistic-Western-685]

And that's kinda how it starts. Just a quick fantasy about fucking someone, then they become a little more dominant, then the fantasy is to be taken advantage of, then it moves to them controlling the situation, then them forcably applying themselves to you before you know it your playing with yourself imagining how you would tell the no or stop as they keep going in full control of every aspect and being rougher than you ever imagined and you cum so hard as everything keeps progressing out of your control and marks are being left while you sob fully knowing well on the inside of you you're hoping they keep going.... More brutally....