r/dykesgonemild • u/Significant_Job894 • 10d ago
Femmes & subs/bottoms, let me ask you something
Femmes, lemme ask you this very direct question
Femmes, if you knew this was somebody who was a top or at least likes to do the f\*cking for the most part, would the long hair catch you off guard and feel unbalanced to the personality?
I’ve received a lot of interesting feedback and social reflection in a a lot of ways after cutting my hair and I just want to come on here to ask as well at this point. A lot of friends and past lovers have hit me up saying this fits me better- and the lovers have specifically related it to my romantic/sexual side? I also used to have a lot of men hit on me and only occasional women and now it seems like women are more open with me and men leave me alone so that’s cool 😎
Not seeking validation or what necessarily looks BETTER, but as per the initial question, just looking to hear what people think when looking at me regarding romantic/sexual details from the lesbian side of things lmaooo
Additionally: which hairstyle are we thinking suites the face better in yalls opinion? I’m still doing wtf I want but I always like to know what others are thinking
THE LONG HAIR PICS ARE OLD SO IF I LOOK BABY THATS WHY, I don’t have any current ones on this phone
xx
Edit: thank you guys for all your replies- and the compliments as well 😏😘 A lot of the people around me giving me feedback aren’t in the gay community and often have very monoculturistic or American-traditional ideas/values so this thread has actually helped me gauge things a little better from a perspective of openness! Much love!
xx
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u/DitzyBorden 10d ago
Nope, not one bit! I love femininity with an edge, just as much as I love masculinity with a sweetness to it. I feel like the shorter hair adds to a more punk energy, which you have all the time, it’s just more obvious with the shorter hair.
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u/Aggravating-Try-5203 10d ago
The great thing about being gay is that none of these "rules" mean anything. Be gay, do crime, have fun!
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u/im-ba 10d ago
I adore long hair. It wouldn't be a turnoff to me. It feels really intimate, especially if she is wearing it down while she's topping me.
My hair is 4 feet (1.3 meters) and I tend to wear it up because my wife doesn't prefer it down while I'm topping her. But in the reverse situation I like her to wear it down when she can.
Sometimes if my hair comes out of its loose bun while I'm topping, if I can keep it off to the side, if creates this quiet curtain and void space around us that's dark and soft and warm and that can feel really cozy. As long as it doesn't actually touch her, she's usually okay with that.
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u/LesbianDykeEtc 9d ago
if creates this quiet curtain and void space around us that's dark and soft and warm and that can feel really cozy.
This is one of my favorite things in the whole world. I love looking up through our little shared space into her eyes.
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u/Satisfact_Ticket725 10d ago
As a femme I think short suits you better but I wouldn’t say no regardless of your hair style
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u/C-chaos19 10d ago edited 9d ago
No, my weakness is femmes that top (or dom) and have long hair. BUT I think you look really good with short hair too! Your hair is very pretty. I think you should do what makes you feel comfortable. I also think women look great with androgynous features and short hair.
I enjoy topping 60% of the time, yet I have a very feminine presentation besides my clothing choices.
Edit: I’m a switch lol
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u/Electrical_Muscle94 10d ago
honesty I feel that however a human presents — their dominant energy makes sense — I can be more femme presenting and like to top and be a sub too
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u/jonna-seattle 10d ago
Long haired butch is a thing. Your old pics do give off a femme vibe, true.
but I think that you can fix that. Here's some advice from a salon; https://shunsalon.com/article/how-to-look-butch-with-long-hair
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u/Azraeddit 10d ago
Not at all! Your hairstyle doesn’t define what you like and someone worthwhile to spend your time with will understand that. If your hair puts someone off- that just tells you what kind of person they are.
Absolutely jealous how good you look in every style! I’d say just go with what you feel is most comfortable and what makes you feel best.
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u/InfiniteNeurology 10d ago
Well, to answer your question you are a very attractive woman, you look good with both long and short hair. For me personally, although I am more drawn to the short haired look, it’s not so much the long hair that would put me off, but the makeup and more feminine clothes? But that is just my personal preference. My ex is a very butch woman who is a top and she had long hair when we met; although she did end up cutting it short later and kept it that way.
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u/life_saver 10d ago
As a 30 something femme, I think the hair/sex vibe combo you're looking for is pics 2 and 3, the length flatters your jawline and the gel style makes your eyes pop. But the wolf cut also suits you. I once dated a masc with really long hair but shaved on the sides, that was also really fun (not that you need more choices). You have a nice side profile, and really healthy looking hair, so you can def pull off whatever makes you feel more confident.
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u/RuthOConnorFisher 10d ago
The long hair is absolutely fine! I kind of like the mid-length haircuts, the ones that hit near your jaw, but they're all pretty great. You're lucky to have the kind of bone structure that looks good with just about any haircut.
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u/lawonda666 10d ago
Femme sub🖤
I think you rock all of the lengths. I love the really long hair, and the really short. Honestly though pic #7 got me feelin some kind of way haha 🔥 Your vibes give very confident, top, and passionate, I think no matter what, your personality/style will come across. You also have great bone structure so the pics where your hair is short or pushed back looked great. The long hair still accentuates your jawline/cheekbones.
Have you ever done the shave one side/long hair thing?
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u/greyscale_straysnail 10d ago
The long hair would not put me off & I think it actually made you look more dyke-y, if that makes sense?
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u/Bi92RikuShadow 10d ago
Nope, your hair wouldn’t tell me how you like to give or receive.
And you’re hot.
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u/SapphicSticker 10d ago
I prefer femme tops, so the short hair ia just not for me. Also long hair won't catch me off guard in any way at all.
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u/No-Lab5951 9d ago
I think it depends on the person, I have a history of sleeping with people with longer hair because I really find long hair attractive, I also think if you’re a top, it’s kind of woven into your vibe as a person, so if you’re speaking to me like a top does, it fuels my attraction if that makes sense? TLDR/ it’s not really the hair it’s you
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u/ill_alternative08 10d ago
Love love loooove the punk energy coming from the 1st photo! Not a femme but just thought I'd share my input.
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u/One_Foundation_3540 10d ago
Firstly, you are gorgeous! Secondly, no, everyone has preferences, i personally don’t if you’re cute and my vibe i dig, long hair or short hair doesn’t matter to me and you look great with both! As you’re specifically asking for hairstyle opinions i think the short/mid hair length mullet style really suits you a lot :)
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u/Kyttyn22 10d ago
With women I don't assume anything. I am pretty open and direct. I like to ask what someone is into.
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u/Captain_Munch98 9d ago
As far as sexy stuff, it does not matter at all to me. I personally love a genderfuck moment so the more subversion of "gender roles" (more gender expression in this case but you get the idea) the better. Aesthetically, I think 7 is my favorite on you but I'm a bit biased bc I am a whore for a mullet. Source: Mullet/Deathhawk haver. You're very attractive tho so honestly whatever you do will look great 🖤
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u/chipsthebag 9d ago
Unrelated but you look so Swedish/scandinavian lol. Especially with the mascara, it reminds me of fashion trends from early 2010s. (I’m Swedish, for context.)
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u/vanillahavoc 9d ago
I don't really assume anything sexually about a person based on hair length. 😅 I think the long hair suited you fine, and I wouldn't think you weren't a "giver" based on that. That said, I feel like the haircut makes it seem like you're trying to look more masc, which I'd generally associate with people who aren't trying to get with men.
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u/M_Star88 8d ago
Follow your heart. It really is about personality and however you want to present in the moment. Sexy is sexy, no matter how you cut it, (oh I crack myself up 😂). I would happily let you take me - anywhere, any time, anyplace. I love the feeling of wet, juicy hair trailing back up my body and tracing my neck as I look back at my lover, and also, totally get smashed on seeing a glossy, wet face I can lick off telling me what's going to happen next. It's all about the vibe and how I want to connect for this pillow queen. Trust yourself. 💋
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u/tarantulan 8d ago
No but I am femme 4 femme most of the time. But femmes can be tops too. I think you look great with long hair
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u/Catty-Bee 8d ago edited 8d ago
Masc, femme, butch, long hair, short hair, I like it all and will take a Top anyway she wants me, so it makes little difference to me! 😂 As long as I get to say "yes, ma'am", or any variation of that, I'm game. 🤣 (For reference, I'm a femme.) (Sorry, couldn't help myself joking there. Lol. It's pretty much the truth but you asked a proper question. Lol.)
A lot of people bring up the issue of "unconscious hetronormative expectations/stereotyping", so I guess my only real comment would be to consider whether your question comes from this, especially if you're not looking for advice on which suits you more? (And I'd say this also applies to the person you want to be intimate with.) The right person for you won't give af if you have long hair and are a Top. Yes, physical appearance can throw people off but that's more about their internal mindsets. Choose what's right and comfortable for you. 💛
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u/GingerRedhead00 8d ago
Nope! I like it long enough to tangle my fingers in but I can do that with your current length or floor length hair. Doesn’t matter to me, I just like touching it lmao
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u/Aggressive-Loss5148 10d ago
Tops can be femme and have long hair. Femmes can have short hair. Bottoms can be masc/butch. Masc and butch women can have long hair. Hope that clears some things up.