Koalas are terrible animals

[u/[deleted]]

Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.

Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute. If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.

[u/Ok-Nature4831]

Anyone that rants this bad about an animal that was created in a certain way it's just doing it for views, and sensationalism. Nobody could be this stupid. The "koala bear" myth is incorrect because koalas are marsupials, not bears, and their "bear-like" traits have been exaggerated or are actually adaptations to their unique environment. They lack a tail like bears, but this is due to a cartilaginous pad for sitting on branches. Koalas aren't particularly cuddly, despite their appearance; they are sensitive and stressed by being held improperly by strangers, preferring to hold onto branches with their paws. Their sleepy nature is a survival strategy due to their low-energy eucalyptus diet, not because they are unintelligent.  Misconceptions versus reality Misconception

Reality

Koalas are bears

Koalas are marsupials and are more closely related to kangaroos and wombats.

Koalas are docile and like to be cuddled

Koalas are sensitive and can be stressed by being held, especially by strangers.

Koalas are unintelligent because they sleep so much

Koalas sleep to conserve energy from their low-nutrient eucalyptus diet, and they possess intelligence for navigating trees and selecting food.

Koalas don't need to drink water

Koalas will drink water when needed, but their diet provides most of their hydration. Adaptations for their lifestyle No tail: They have a cartilaginous pad at the base of their spine which helps them sit comfortably on tree branches for long periods.  Specialized diet: Their ability to digest toxic eucalyptus leaves is due to a specialized digestive system and gut bacteria.  Climbing skills: They have strong claws and two opposable digits on their forepaws for a secure grip.  Energy conservation: They have a slow metabolism and sleep for up to 20 hours a day to conserve energy from their low-calorie diet.  Comfortable with being picked up: They feel most secure when their abdominal area is supported, and they can grip something, as they are used to holding onto branches.