any way to prevent my school from using my deadname?

[u/abiogenetics]

my mom isn’t too informed on what to do, so i figure i’d ask parents who might’ve had to do something for their kid in the past. i do not want to be referred to as my deadname whatsoever in the upcoming school year, is there a way to get it so i won’t be called that aside from just telling teachers not to call me that? i’m still worried if i get checked out they’ll call my deadname and evrything is going to be labeled with my deadname. is there anything i can do besides legally changing it?

edit: i live in a red leaning moderate part of georgia

[u/pgm928]

What state are you in?

[u/abiogenetics → u/pgm928]

georgia in the us

[u/throwawayaccount0o01]

Where are you from? It definitely depends on

[u/abiogenetics → u/throwawayaccount0o01]

georgia in the us

[u/90dayfangirl → u/abiogenetics]

Reach out to TransParent Atlanta - they can help with resources. PFLAG also has some school advocates - basically people who are trained and familiar with navigating trans kids issues with and in public schools.

[u/throwawayaccount0o01 → u/abiogenetics]

In Georgia, there is no specific statewide law mandating how schools must handle a minor's preferred name. Consequently, the use of preferred names (nicknames) by minors in K-12 public schools is determined entirely by individual school district policies and administrative discretion.

Under the Georgia Parents' Bill of Rights (HB 1178), schools are required to be transparent with parents. Many districts require parental approval before officially updating a student's preferred name in the school system.

Gwinnett County Public School Board is very accepting of name changes…. and they thankfully manage most schools where you’re from.

“Gwinnett County Public Schools (GCPS) recognizes that some students would prefer to use a different name to identify themselves rather than their legal names. We see it every day in our schools as students ask to be called by a nickname, go by their middle name, or use a preferred English/Western name or one that better reflects their identity. 
GCPS is taking steps to ensure that students are called by their preferred name at school. The first step in acknowledging the preferred names used by many of our students is to facilitate updates to this information in Synergy, the district’s student information system. With that in mind, the district is transitioning away from using the “Nickname” field in Synergy to using a new “Preferred Name” field. Families of students who wish for their child to be called by a “Preferred Name” other than their legal name will need to go into ParentVUE to provide that information. (Please note that if you had provided a Nickname previously, you still will need to enter that name as your child’s Preferred Name.) GCPS reserves the right to remove a “Preferred Name” if it is deemed inappropriate. Once the Preferred Name has been provided, your local school will verify the name and make the change in the system.

Again, “Preferred Name” changes that families enter into Synergy will not be reflected immediately and will not change a student’s name in all of our systems. “Preferred Names” will be incorporated to populate class lists and rosters and for student schedules. GCPS will begin using the “Preferred Name” for student email addresses and as part of additional student resources and applications.

Note that this option to add a “Preferred Name” is available in ParentVUE only. A student may not request a change via their Learning Space Student Portal.
Once verified by the school, the Preferred Name will begin populating teachers’ class lists, seating charts, and schedules. This means that teachers (or substitute teachers) will have the student’s Preferred Name at their fingertips and can use that instead of the child’s legal name.

The child’s legal name will continue to appear on legal and official documents such as report cards, transcripts, IEPs, etc.”

The School Board’s Statement About Name Changes

[u/Constant-Prog15]

INFO:
(1) what is your location? If USA, what state?
(2) Has your name been legally changed (through a court order or otherwise)?

—-
We live in the Portland Oregon metro area. We went to the principal who was able to change our kids name in the system everywhere a teacher, substitute, counselor or admin would see it. The only place they couldn’t change it was anywhere a legal name was required (so, health info, state testing, etc).

When we did this for our son, we didn’t tell him before it went into effect (not on purpose). His first class after the change, the teacher was taking role and called his (new) name, and he was surprised and very happy.

[u/abiogenetics → u/Constant-Prog15]

i’m in georgia (us), and i haven’t had my name legally changed yet. my school isn’t super trans friendly so it may be an issue.

[u/SmaterThanSarah]

Check if your school district has any policies regarding transgender students. That will tell you how they handle it. Contact your guidance counselor and see what they can do to help. You could also get some index cards that you can give to your teachers letting them know your preferences. Keep some spares for whenever there is a sub.

When my son started high school we made an appointment with the principal in the summer to talk about how they did things with transgender students. We weren’t worried about names because we had already had that legally changed but we talked about bathrooms and locker rooms. We asked about the experience of the trans kids already at the school and if there were any issues they knew about regarding bullying. And we asked if there were any teachers or staff who might not be supportive. I didn’t expect an honest answer to that last one but it made it clear that I knew that the policies were only as good as they were enforced and I expected them to be enforced. My son never had any real problems in high school due to being trans. There were a couple of guys in his gym class that were boneheads but he never felt truly unsafe he just knew to give them a wide berth.

[u/futurepostac]

We’re in Texas. We’re in the process of legally updating our child’s name. It’s the only sure-fire way, here that I know of.

[u/HealthyEducator9555]

In my state you can change your name in the school system with a parent’s consent. It’s what I’m planning to do, but my mom won’t agree to it until I come out.

[u/WaterChicken007]

It honestly depends on your location. At our school in Washington state, they allowed us to put their preferred name in the system everywhere except when it had to be the legal name. All the teachers went along with it with no problems.

However, had we tried that on the other side of the state in farm country which voted 70% for Trump, I don’t think it would have worked out as good as it did.

So if you are in a good district, you may be fine. Or you may have to pick up and physically move your entire family to a more liberal area. I know more than one parent who had to do that to escape persecution from red states.

[u/NeighborhoodSuper592]

We just changed the call name to the new name on the school papers, and my son told the teachers himself. So his dead name only ended up on the official papers he got when he finished school.

[u/Patient_Character730]

When my kid was in high school we lived in two different areas of the state. The first place was very conservative and without legal documentation getting them to use a preferred name wasn't going to happen. My kid used a shortened version of the birth name that they could put up with and at the beginning of the year told each teacher I go by X. That worked fine, but obviously wasn't perfect. At home we called our kid their preferred name exclusively. Then we moved to a more liberal portion of the state and the school documentation had a section for preferred name. When we met with the school counselor she used their preferred name from the start and said she would email the teachers before class started to tell them to use the preferred name. If their was a sub that's the only time there was an issue, but my kid would just say I go by Y and that was that. My kid eventually did legally change their name to Y just before starting college, and they were able to graduate high school with their Y name being called which meant a lot. This was our experience in Wyoming, other places will do thing differently.

[u/hellishdelusion]

You'll likely have to move to a different school. Even in college professors that knew about me or friends being trans regularly discriminated against us. School didn't do Jack about it despite being in a blue part of a red state. If they're dead naming I can promise you they'll discriminate too.

The only way to stop the discrimination is if the school doesn't know.

[u/Informal-Goose88]

I was able to call the schools my kids attend and have them put their preferred name in their systems. So even though they still have their legal names, the schools know to call them by their preferred.

[u/Moiras_Roses_Garden4]

We're in a conservative state but have a decent school district. We reached out to one of the school counselors who sent home a form that a parent signed acknowledging the name change and that the other parent was okay with it. It was one of the easier things we've dealth with.

[u/Mommabear4050]

We lived in a red area of GA for a while when my daughter was still in high school—granted this was 4 years ago, and a lot is happening so fast—and my cousin is still a teacher there. It’s going to depend on the district. The sure fire way is to legally change your name. It costs around $200. If you are a minor, but over 14, you will have to sign the document, and both your parents will have to sign off. You will go to the county clerks office with your birth certificate and if you have any other id like a driver permit or driver license, you will want to take that with you too to fill out forms. There will be a 30 day waiting period (it might be longer if the courts are backed up), but they will get you on the schedule to get the judge to sign off. It’s a pretty straightforward procedure. If you’re certain of your chosen name, and both parents are supportive—this is the route to take. I would start early in the summer, so that you have time to get on the court docket before school starts.

If this is not an option, it really is up to the school district you are in. You can talk to your guidance counselor and all your teachers about using your name in class, but as far as your documentation like transcripts and diploma—a legal name change is the way to not leave it to the discretion of the district.