r/butchlesbians • u/Responsible-Farm5928 • 2d ago
Question Do you like being called pretty or handsome?
There's such a gender spectrum for butches, but what do you prefer being called?
Pretty, beautiful, gorgeous
Handsome, sharp, striking
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u/Wide-Lettuce-8771 2d ago
I miss being called pretty or beautiful. Everyone just calls me cute and it makes me feel like I’m not attractive in a serious, adult way. Like I’m just a kid.
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u/cbrighter 2d ago
Handsome, hands down. But this is one of those things that’s not up to me. The person doing the calling is describing what they see. That said, handsome is what I’m going for and what delights me.
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u/Donut-Boxers 2d ago
I don't like pretty by itself but I like prettyboy, I like beautiful or gorgeous, I like handsome, I've never gotten striking and I think that would shock me a bit, I prefer most masculine terms, I don't like being called most feminine terms but I do meaner ones like chick or bitch for some reason?
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u/theuniquenerd 1d ago
my wife calls me beautiful often, which makes me blush SO HARD. there’s something so /satisfying/ about my femme calling me beautiful. because WHAT. NO /she’s/ beautiful. for me to get a compliment like that, i’m just so lucky 🥺
sometimes when she feels flirty, she’ll call me “handsome” when i am in in a suit or something more masculine presenting, and i swear every time she does i feel my legs instantly lose all its bones. she saves it as very powerful ammunition and i’m just…helpless 🤣
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u/Spuntmire 2d ago
Handsome. I do not at all care for pretty or beautiful. My fiancé calls me cute, which is fine. She doesn't always find me handsome, which is also fine.
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u/Weaving-Eternity Disabled stone butch | They/them 2d ago
Personally, I prefer handsome or terms like that. Striking, sharp, handsome, gorgeous... I have weird hang-ups with the word pretty overall.
That said, I don't really care if the person calling me that is close to me. If they're close to me, especially a partner, I'm just happy to be close to them, and I'm fine with whatever they call me. It's more a general preference than anything hard and fast.
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u/JustAppearance1369 1d ago
Love being called handsome. The first time that happened with my first girlfriend, I almost melted
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u/sorryforthecusses she/her stone butch, on T, sans titties 1d ago
handsome et al, hands down. but i still appreciate the intention behind pretty and others like it. like, as long as you don't call me late for dinner, i'll be happy lol.
my gf uses handsome way more cause of the reaction it gets from me, but one time she got worried about me thinking she meant it in a "you look feminine" way (i didn't), so she explained she uses pretty for me cause of certain features she thinks of as pretty on everyone
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u/moonshai55555 Butch 1d ago
Neither, honestly. But I’m nonbinary so maybe that has something to do with it?
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u/Sekhmet-Enthusiast Butch 1d ago
When I feel like someone really "gets" me and sees me for who and what I am, they could call me anything and it would feel affirming.
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u/xCloudbox Butch 1d ago
Call me anything you’d like, just call me 😉
But seriously, any of it is great when it’s sincere.
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u/Southern_Friend_1926 1d ago
Lowkey, a mix of the compliments. Stuff like my girlfriend will call me "pretty Prince" or "my handsome princess" I on God love it.
I think as I got more comfortable with myself it starts to matter less, either way makes me feel good.
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u/Prestigious-Mind2781 1d ago
Handsome or gorgeous please. Pretty or anything with "girl" feels uncomfortable. Thank goodness for a wonderful GF who gets it.
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u/Personal_Coach7653 1d ago
Pretty no. I will feel like someone has poured pink paint over time.
Handsome is certainly better but really depends on how I'm presenting I think. In some contexts it seems ridiculous and I start to feel like - yo definitely not male and it's a bit ridiculous lol
Man I hate even that compliments words have so many gendered connotations lol
Sharp is good if I'm dressing well. Feels more about clothes though.
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u/bannysexdang 1d ago
Unless I know the person well, I prefer pretty or beautiful as handsome feels a little patronizing. Genuinely being called handsome makes me feel confident, but being called pretty makes me blush.
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u/tenderfool 1h ago
My wife and I are both butch but I call them pretty a lot which they love (from me, if a stranger called them pretty they would hate it) and they very occasionally call me handsome which always makes me feel a little swoon-y even though I find that word kinda corny abstractly. Possibly we’re just down bad for each other ¯_(ツ)_/¯
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u/TwoTrucksPayingTaxes 2d ago
The more I trust the person, the less I care what specific word they use. My wife can use pretty and beautiful because I know how they see me. When my mom uses it, I feel sad because I know my mom doesn't see my masculinity as a key part of myself