How to stop masking?

[u/yourshroomfriend]

Hi everyone,
I'm an Audhd woman and I just read a paper about how bad masking is for your body and overall well-being. And just in general, I've been trying to learn how to unmask, but I just don't really know how to do it without being outright weird.

At work, I'm not going to go on a rant when somebody mentions my special interest (media analysis), I can't put on the music I want because nobody else would like it, but I am generally okay with that. This is the same thing with my extended family. Aside from that, in the ways I behave I am being more and more myself, which is nice.

But I still feel so weird around people. Is there a way how I can stop masking but maybe hold back a little?? And if you've got some general tips about how to unmask I'd love to hear it because I just don't know how I can.

edit:

how i'm masking most often is by my expressions (talking slower and articulating more, tone of voice, smiling, eye-contact) and by the content of conversations. I engage in small talk and keep myself from talking about the things i wish to talk about.

what i'm wondering now is, is it even possible for me to stop masking in these areas? because I want to have a good relationship with the people around me and I want to be functional in my workplace. Maybe masking is just the necessary means to an end?

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[u/bubbleyjubbley]

"At work, I'm not going to go on a rant when somebody mentions my special interest (media analysis), I can't put on the music I want because nobody else would like it" this isnt really masking. The term masking has bern overused and bastardised to the point where personal preference is being described as masking.

https://www.autismawareness.com.au/navigating-autism/understanding-autistic-masking-and-camouflaging

First you need to identify what you have issues with. Do you struggle with making phone calls, in person meetings. Mayne its the opposite and you struggle with emails.

No one can tell anyone else how to unmask because we dont know what/when you are masking.

[u/yourshroomfriend → u/bubbleyjubbley]

you're right, I edited the post :p

[u/bubbleyjubbley → u/yourshroomfriend]

Keepibg yourself from talking about the things you want to talk about is something everyone deals with. You can find people outside of work to talk about particular interests with. If a conversation is of no interest to you you could try being ok with not participating. This would also give you a rest from making eye contact and smiling.

You can try making eye contact less and smiling less. You're right that these things are harder to do in the workplace, you could try being less aware of these when you arent at work.

[u/kreeferin]

This may be an unpopular opinion but I think masking in the work place is actually very common for everybody, not just NDs. And is somewhat of a requirement for existing in society at large. How I see it is that at work you're in a very specific environment with specific rules and a specific persona that you wear during that time. I think most NTs will keep their interests and hobbies relatively toned down because they knows that nobody really cares at work.

However, in your social and home life, that's the time to let your proverbial freak flag fly. In my efforts to unmask more I'm focusing on the places where I'll be more accepted for who I am and prioritizing the people who I want to give my energy to (which is not my coworkers).