Watashi wo Tabetai, Hitodenashi • This Monster Wants to Eat Me - Episode 10 discussion

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Watashi wo Tabetai, Hitodenashi, episode 10

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[u/Syokhan]

Aw, Hinako captured Shiori's heart just by being a sweet little ray of sunshine.

Ah, finally we got Shiori's full backstory. Now that we've peeled back some layers I can stop trying to hide that she's my favorite character.

Her story explains a lot about her, doesn't it? How she doesn't understand humans or connections because she just poofed into existence one day, and never got any family or friends or anyone to bond with. And the only people she came in contact with were either terrified of her or treated her like some sort of a deity, so not on equal footing at all.

Or why communication is such a huge issue for her that led to making some pretty big errors in judgement. She usually means well, but the combination of her not truly understanding humans + never really communicating is a really bad one.

Well at least she did learn from the first time, and only gave Hinako her blood instead of her flesh. But life is sometimes random and cruel, and turns out it had devastating consequences for Hinako all the same. Honestly I found the juxtaposition of Shiori wishing her a happy life and the visuals of the accident so, so sad.

Now it remains to be seen whether she listens to Miko's advice or not. Which is pretty simple really: "oh my god just TALK to each other!" lol.

And special mention to the soundtrack again, which was beautiful.

[u/jabberwockxeno → u/Syokhan]

For you and /u/ClemFire and /u/djthomp, I have also been eagerly awaiting for us to get to this part of the series, since it likewise shows what makes Shiori my favorite character and IMO the most interesting in the series.

Here's my own analysis of some of the themes you both already touched on:

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There's been hints before this and episode 9 that Shiori has more going on then the airheaded, socially clueless cannibalistic gourmet persona, such as her behind the back remark when Hinako thought Yokai don't get lonely, or her talk with Miko at the camp where she says she's jealous of Miko's relationship with Hinako, but Episode 9 and 10 here really shines a light on the depths of her character, to the point where even as a manga reader it's making me ponder different ways to interpret her I hadn't considered before.

Shiori likes to call herself/Yokai as self centered, and there's some truth to calling her selfish, both in what we've seen so far and what's to come (for example, even in EP9 where she concedes she helped Hinako and values her as something other then as food, she says she's doing it for "my own personal sake"), but I think that's reductive, and the truth is one of (or more likely, a bit of both) two more complex realities:

First, is that Shiori isn't really "selfish", because she's not human and doesn't really map onto normal concepts and the axes of kind vs malicious or selfish vs selfless: Her motives and actions come from a totally different set of concepts that don't cleanly align with human ones, or at least she doesn't understand those human concepts and can't recognize how her own behavior fits into those categories: Even when she's seemingly at her most kind there's an air of possessiveness or self interest or even violence, and even when she's being self centered or making threats, it comes off as polite or considerate... or she'll do something totally alien from any perspective. I'm not sure I've ever seen a not-human character really feel not human as well as Shiori does. And then these episodes, we see in her own words how she finds humans, social interaction, having bonds with others etc so utterly confusing, both as something that frustrates her as being dumb but also something she wishes she could understand and participate in.

Conversely, though, there's also moments and statements which imply does seem to understand some of these human concepts and emotions, but puts up a facade and lies to mask how much she knows and what her motives are, to hide her own emotional vulnerability and to avoid getting hurt or things not going her way: She clearly understands what being selfish is enough to label herself and other Yokai as being that, and also knows that loneliness as something painful, given her reaction to what Hinako said. Here we also find out she once did live with a human, but it didn't work out, and she clearly has regrets over this... So it's easy to buy that her ignorance is at least in part a front and she's too scared of repeating her mistakes to be emotionally honest with others now. She seems to lie, be indirect, or acts oblivious (which at least some of the time, is clearly an act, such as claiming she and Hinako are busy so her scars won't be seen in the bath) almost pathologically, even when there's no stakes in trivial situations.

As I've re-read the manga and now watching the anime, it's tough for me to pin exactly what her deal is, but I think it's a mix of both of these things: She's clearly not lying when she's said connections with other beings and how humans think "make so little sense to me" and all the other similar lines, and in the same line she admits that Yokai get lonley behind Hinako's back, she still says she'll "never understand" humans. It may seem odd that she both doesn't understand normal human concepts, yet also is so adept at hiding how she feels and uses those emotions to mask her feelings, and yet I think both are true at once here. Maybe it's that she understands being self centered, but not being selfless and can't recognize her own motives and actions as being compassionate, especially when even things we'd call acts of kindness are also done to make ourselves feel better too.

In any case, it allows for so many interesting, varied readings on her character and actions: When she said "No way" to Hinako asking if she and her could be friends like she is with Miko, why did she actually say no? Because she doesn't care about Hinako emotionally and wants her alive for some other reason? Because she felt saying no was needed to not undermine the lie of her wanting to eat Hinako? Because Shirori simply doesn't understand what being a friend is enough to say yes even if she might want it? Or maybe because she DOESN'T understand what being a friend "like Miko" would mean, and that level of emotional honesty would require revealing the truth and/or opening herself up to be hurt again like with the other girl?

Miko's reveal as a Yokai was what hooked me, but all this insight into Shiori and her interpersonal struggles was what made it an all time favorite piece of media. Also, while I don't (or didn't) value representation in media much, and TBH think even admitting this is kinda cringe, as someone on the autism spectrum, I found it all painfully relatable, and lines like "Your relationship with humans...your connections to this world...it all makes so little sense to me...There is no one who understands me, or thinks the way I do...I am incapable of forming connections with others", to hit hard: The themes of not having the same mindset as others as not being able to truly communicate what you're thinking; Not being sure if you find normal human interactions and relationships beneath you, or if you wish you could easily do it all, to questioning if you DO understand it but are in denial to avoid rejection; and the blurry line between being honest or kind vs manipulative or selfish, and being unsure how much of either you're doing or are subject to in your own relationships etc are all totally resonant.

I will say though that unlike Clemfire, I think the execution of some of this episode was a bit questionable: Not the writing, obviously, but some of the production choices with visuals and audio. I clarify on that further in my reply in the source material corner, but obviously be careful of spoilers!

[u/ClemFire → u/jabberwockxeno]

Just have to say wow this is such a detailed analysis of Shiori's character and the best I've ever seen. Your passion for her clearly comes across.

[u/ZapsZzz → u/jabberwockxeno]

I have an academic/selfish curiosity - what other human inhuman characters have you read/seen (at least in anime) and how would you analyse them in comparison to Shiori, at least the part about the orange and purple values, human/social relationship etc. 

E.g. Clevatess, Nagato Yuki [Haruhi late arc 1 spoiler]/ Asakura Ryouko