r/TwentiesIndia • u/Let-Me-Know-You • 7h ago
🎤 Unpopular Opinion Unpopular Opinion: The internet is brainwashing us about marriage. Here is a reality check.
I keep seeing posts on this sub from people in their 20s saying they’ve completely given up on marriage or love because of all the cheating and divorce stories they read online. Honestly, you need to step outside. You're letting an algorithm ruin your mindset.
Let me give you some real-life examples, because the internet only pushes the bad ones.
First, my mom is a govt teacher, and one of her colleagues had a failed first marriage. It just didn't work out. If you listened to Reddit, his life was over and the system is a scam. But he got married again years later. Now? He has two daughters and a wife who genuinely has his back. He supports her, she supports him, and they are doing great.
Second, my own cousin's first marriage ended after just one year because they just had differences. Two years later, he remarried. They were just blessed with a baby girl. While his wife was pregnant and staying in her hometown, this guy used his one single day off every week just to travel and see her. He was right there with her during labor, stressed out of his mind seeing her in pain. After the delivery, his wife was in happy tears telling him how much his presence and support kept her going. That is what real commitment looks like.
I also have a distant relative who struggled with her weight for years due to hormonal issues. She got rejected by guys constantly because of it and crossed 34 an age Indian society usually treats like a death sentence for marriage. But she didn't give up. She eventually found the right guy. They got married, and they are both actively putting in the effort and building a solid life together.
The reality is that the internet only pushes drama. Divorce, cheating, and toxic breakups go viral because people love reading about a trainwreck. A quiet, supportive husband taking a train on his only day off to see his pregnant wife doesn't get upvotes.
Most people who are actually happy in their relationships aren't writing essays on social media. They are just living their lives and keeping the good stuff private. We have over 1.5 billion people in this country. The horror stories you see online are a tiny, microscopic percentage of what's actually happening on the ground.
Stop letting a loud minority on Reddit convince you that everything is doomed. Good marriages exist, they just aren't screaming for attention.
Who else here actually knows a happy, quiet couple in real life that proves the internet wrong?
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u/kiraaaaaa__ 7h ago
Most ppl internet pe bs negativity felane aate h life unki achi chl rhi hoti h irl
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u/shadyXV03 25 7h ago
A few years back, I was feeling at a loss after my graduation but not having a job. I became active in developersIndia during that time. It's a good sub for tech, but regularly I would wake up and see more and more sadder stories about their unemployment and I was pretty much convinced that there are no jobs. I had started prepping for GATE even.
Got a lucky break by a friend referring me, I came to Bangalore and i realised how wrong I was. There are definitely jobs, it's just hard to find. Surprisingly, for companies it's hard to find good candidates too. Now here my friends are getting multiple offers with crazy packages
I think internet can show you extremes of two sides. If you open LinkedIn, you'll see success stories, while if you open reddit, you might see other extreme. Life is somewhere in between. Pretty sure that's the case with dating/marriages too
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u/toogoodperson 7h ago
Hope is the only hope .
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u/mansicantsee its just a bad life, not a bad day 7h ago
I don't think so that there is anything like "good" and "bad" marriage.
Most people get married on a whim without actually knowing what the other person is like and it ends up badly because reality is completely different from expectations.
Most marriages don't work out because of 1. Differences in personalities and beliefs 2. Cheating / affairs 3. Emotional and mental abuse by their spouses 4. Getting married against will
And it eventually leads to divorce
I do think the number of divorces are increasing rapidly in india.
And it means there's more bad FAILED marriages than succesful ones.
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u/kiraaaaaa__ 7h ago
I think the most important factor of a healthy marriage is that u shouldn't get bored with ur partner cz intimacy & good looks goes down with time but a partner with whom u can always hold a conversation without feeling the need to search for a topic is blessing.
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u/mansicantsee its just a bad life, not a bad day 7h ago
Yessss same thoughtsss
People these days place a huge bet on looks and momentarily butterflies that the other person makes them feel and end up marrying
But the real challenge lies in how they behave with you when you're feeling low, when you're feeling sad.
I read this line somehwere, "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."
No matter how boring it gets 😭
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u/RiskyHistory 29 7h ago
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u/ResolutionDue4104 23 7h ago
Pehle istemal karein
Fir vishwas karein
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u/RiskyHistory 29 4h ago
Bilkul nahi istemaal karenge
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u/Appropriate-Art-217 7h ago
Once i watched a reel, it was about virginity and i (by mistake) liked it and boom my algorithm was fcked up. It still shows me too much about it as if every girl has lost her virginity before marriage and i literally thinking not to marry to avoid such a girl
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u/king_ramsess 4h ago
Well if you’re 25 and over what you’re thinking is correct
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u/Appropriate-Art-217 4h ago
Means in arranged marriage set up there is low chance of getting a Virgin woman for marriage
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u/king_ramsess 4h ago
Yeah
But why would you even do AM
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u/Appropriate-Art-217 4h ago
Actually i live in small town of hathras and my parents are strict no dating no marriage out of caste etc. i literally invested some of my years for govt job now i have govt job but.... 🥹
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u/king_ramsess 4h ago
Don’t know then man
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u/Appropriate-Art-217 4h ago
😔
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u/king_ramsess 4h ago
Accept your partners past
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u/Appropriate-Art-217 4h ago
I am actually have very traditional mindset about it. I would choose to be stay single while life happily rather than marrying a girl with past. Though in arranged marriage set up mostly of them lie about past
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u/ManipulativFox 24 6h ago
Few of my cousins got married there is no single case of dowry, abuse in marriage, some are doing jobs, some because homemaker as per their personal choice. They are indeed happy. All are Arranged Marriage.
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u/shutup-kneegrow someone said this to me 7h ago
aajkal toh algorithm ka bhi brainwash krti hai duniyal
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u/listnerPlusYapper In my 20s but a Toddler by heart 7h ago
Okay mate. You've convinced me to change my mindset of not getting married ever... Still, I'm not gonna marry too early
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u/ResolutionDue4104 23 7h ago
Shaadi ke liye partner chahiye hota hai
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u/listnerPlusYapper In my 20s but a Toddler by heart 7h ago
You've convinced me that I won't marry now, again
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u/uspinmerightrounD19 5h ago
I have decided to live a SINK (Single income no kids) cause I am hella selfish meanwhile people be out here also living SINK lives (Single Income nine kids) all about perspective lol
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u/Tusharr7 23 4h ago
I might get married in future, but not having kids for sure....coz antinatalism
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u/OtherwiseRegret3217 I date only to mate 7h ago
Personally, it's not the fear of cheating or alimony. Instead, it's about the responsibilities, commitment, and liabilities that come with marriage, and I genuinely hate all of them
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u/Snoo_4499 7h ago
These kind of post don't even get upvotes because people are so hellbent on villanizing marriage and love.
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u/RaajuuTedd 21 6h ago
People are correct to be cautious here.
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u/audhd_girlie No Disco only Dard 4h ago
There is cautious and then there is fear from unknown unverified idiocracy. Choose what suits you instead of what the world says.
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u/RaajuuTedd 21 3h ago
Yep and I don't want to be married. Celibacy ftw. (No hate to any woman btw)
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u/Furrylover4206969 5h ago
It’s about what u have to lose. As a man, if your wife turns out to be a demon, then your life is as good as dead cuz the laws and everything are female biased
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u/king_ramsess 4h ago
Why should i let one person control all my sex life and romantic life, be accountable to them regarding everything i do, give them the ability to negatively affect my emotions and also risk my money?
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u/DirectionNo7768 21 3h ago
Grass is greener 9n other side as each of them how much they suffered while getting separated and not all gets luckky bro i can tell u one thing that they are financially in good postion so they can afford getting divorce and married again
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u/futurehimalayanmonk 2h ago
I don't mind marriage but it's hard to find somebody who matches ur values 🤡🤡 plus i f i don't want kids and they do that itself is the end for me. So yeah- My next option if I don't find someone is to live by myself 😎
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u/Key_Presentation922 2h ago
Not the internet, but watching toxic marriages since childhood. So I have given up now. All the women in my house my mother, badi mummy, and my cousin sister are in toxic marriages. Some are facing mental abuse, some domestic abuse. One of my cousin sisters' husbands cheated on her with my SIL, and my whole family asked her to adjust. My family sometimes pressures and forces me to get married, but I always give them a reality check about their marriages, and then they say "Har ungli ek jaisi nahi hoti" (and I just cringe so hard at this line). As a woman, I get scared. What if I end up having the same fate as them? Soooo, a big no for marriage.
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u/marijuanabebe No Disco only Dard 2h ago
IRL also I don't have good examples 🙏
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u/marijuanabebe No Disco only Dard 2h ago
Also marriage is more like something which I will do if only I want it. For me it's not necessary same goes for having kids. I enjoy my alone time.
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u/rishrushrish 1h ago
I've always been pro marriage, but with the right person. If I'm marrying just for the sake of getting married, I wouldn't wanna do it in the first place.
Being single is better than being stuck with the wrong person, especially given how the laws punish males during divorces.
I hope I do find my person, got three more years before this sub becomes irrelevant to me. ☠️
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u/20thirdth Farzi kirdaar 1h ago
Tldr de diya karo yaar
Aapka post useful to hai but hum padhne waalo pe days kar diya karo 😭
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u/WhereasInfinite8208 10m ago
I don't think only social media is to be blamed. I think a lot of people have witnessed failed marriages around them and simply have an opinion about it.
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u/WildMeet6638 7h ago
This is true but majority of Indian marriages are failed the happy marriages are in low percentage. But yah I know one couple they are my cousins and I want a husband like hers he’s really caring and loving
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u/forza_del_destino 7h ago
Lol how old are you?
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u/Let-Me-Know-You 7h ago
24 and why
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u/farjicomedian 7h ago
I don't want to get married because I don't want responsibilities. I want to live a lavish life and my salary can afford only person's life. As an unmarried man I can go wherever I want, whenever I want and buy whatever I want. If I get yeeted in the process then there won't be any dependent on me.