r/Salsa • u/HorseElectronic3477 • 9d ago

Skill level

I am convinced, and I will die on this hill, that the number, quality and frequency of strangers coming to ask you out for a dance is a strong solid indicator of how good you are at dancing.

I do not mean a random ask. I mean where strangers search for, will wait and beeline for you.

For example, the fact I rarely get asked by strangers (when they do it is a random ask) and I only dance with people I know, is a clear indication that my dance is lucking.

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u/Gnomeric 8d ago

My impression is that, the more focused a scene/event is on dancing well (what you may call snob or tryhard), more likely you will see the behaviors described by OP. My local swing scene is much stronger skill-wise than my local latin scene. It is difficult to get hold of older, advanced follows whereas new follows are often sidelined no matter how attractive they are, even though most regular leads ask everyone at least once. Meanwhile, my local latin scene works like you described.

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u/zedrahc 8d ago

Essentially if the leads are into the dance to dance with hot chicks and impress the ladies, then they will bias towards attractiveness.

If the leads are into the dance because they love connection and flow and dancing at a high level, then they are going to bias towards people where they can enjoy their investment into skill together.

That being said, even in the second category, if you are a stranger in the scene, there can still be a bias in age and attractiveness because it is often used as a proxy for guessing someone's skill. The reality is that more attractive follows get asked more so if they want to get good, its usually easier for them to get good.

I will admit that I do exercise some ageism at large out of town events where I dont know many people. The reality is that I have experienced way more older follows who do not have their own balance and are more than willing to clamp my hands and yank on me for balance. That being said, if I do see an older follow that looks like they know what they are doing, I generally rush to ask them because often times they are in lower demand and I am more than willing to dance with them a bunch if we enjoy each other's connection.

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u/Gnomeric 7d ago

About the older dancers, one thing I noticed is that many of them do not seem to see dancing as a hobby for which they have to -- and are willing to -- put practice in. Although I see dancers of all ages who seem to think that way, younger (as in, up to middle age) dancers with such mindset rarely continue showing up. However, I see surprisingly large number of older dancers who keeps coming back to socials for many months (or even years) without actually learning how to do basics. It annoys me as well and I'd rather not dance with them to be honest. Even simply repeating pre-social beginners' lesson could greatly benefit them, why don't they?

Like you, I am perfectly happy to dance with them if, say, they cannot make double turns due to their physical limitations. I understand it becomes increasingly difficult to learn and execute certain moves as we age. But I think showing willingness to actually learn the very basics of the dance they are supposed to be doing is a basic courtesy.

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u/zedrahc 7d ago

Yes. And they also tend to be the follows that have the attitudes of "Im the follow, its your job as the lead to entertain me". And "I dont need to count or have timing, thats the leaders job."