r/PizzaCrimes • u/PandorazPokemon • 3d ago

Mistreated How my boyfriend keeps cutting the pizza

Post image

I added this to r/mildlyinfuriating and it got removed, so I'll share it with yall. Any time my boyfriend ends up the one with the pizza cutter, he does this weird crap.

165 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

52 comments sorted by

•

u/qualityvote2 3d ago edited 2d ago

The jury, after deliberation of the evidence in the case of u/PandorazPokemon, has reached a mistrial due to non-consensus of votes of guilty or innocent.

63

u/Money-Ad7257 3d ago

Wu-Tang fan, is he?

14

u/One_Season458 2d ago

Causing more family feuds than richard dawson!

5

u/HaveAtItBub 2d ago

and the survey said!

4

u/One_Season458 2d ago

Ya dead!

3

u/Fun_Reply5366 1d ago

WU TANG WU TANG WU TANG

2

u/Money-Ad7257 1d ago

They taught me about monosodiumglutumate, polysorbate, and sodium benzoate, common ingredients in many pizzas.

3

u/Spare_Bandicoot_5641 1d ago

Pizza ain't nuthin to mess with

20

u/innerflame437 2d ago

I’d assume innocent until proven guilty, but the evidence is pretty damning.

18

u/hairygrizzlyballzzz 2d ago

The pizza itself looks good enough to where I wouldn't mind the cut. He gets to walk with a warning. But, you should obviously still take the biggest cut to assert dominance though and put him in his place.

12

u/Bilbo_Teabagginss 2d ago

Your boyfriend is a sick sick man.

10

u/otullyo 2d ago

LEAVE HIM IMMEDIATELY! 🚩🚩🚩🚩

5

u/PandorazPokemon 2d ago

I'm already packing my bags

2

u/otullyo 2d ago

😆 Good for you. Stay safe.

7

u/Zealousideal-Pipe596 2d ago

Time you start cutting him.

14

u/mattycakes1077 2d ago

Does he work at the Little Caesars in Port Neches?

21

u/PandorazPokemon 2d ago

No, he's just insane

5

u/elite_ivory 2d ago

What the fuck is his problem? lol

4

u/papergirl1982 2d ago

Im honestly thinking he's doing it cause it bothers you, I'd never let him cut the pizza ever again

1

u/PandorazPokemon 2d ago

Oh he definitely does lol He definitely waits to see my reaction as I go to get a slice

4

u/nuttyfruitloaf 2d ago

Bad r/mildlyinfuriating mods! 🗞 smack! No! 🗞

2

u/maleia 1d ago

Tbf this is way worse than 'mildly'.

13

u/FractalGeometric356 2d ago

You should withhold the Nookie until he learns to do better.

9

u/PandorazPokemon 2d ago

The hwat?

19

u/Hot_Intern547 2d ago

It means to not let him use your Nokia phone until he changes his tune

4

u/Responsible_Arm_9555 2d ago

Or at least his ringtone

9

u/TheBananaCzar 2d ago

No sex until he learn respects

7

u/Foolishly_Sane 2d ago

That is painful.

3

u/Dazzling-Listen5390 2d ago

Is he cutting around the toppings?

Or is he just having fun?

3

u/KEYPiggy_YT 2d ago

What substances does he enjoy? I know he’s not sober

1

u/PandorazPokemon 2d ago

Lmfao he's a pothead but I don't think that's why he does this

2

u/russbii 2d ago

This is nothing to fuck with. Move along folks.

2

u/TheLastPorkSword 2d ago

He's just cutting out the parts he wants. What a tool.

2

u/Creative_Care6231 1d ago

he should be you ex

2

u/Fun_Reply5366 1d ago

Dudes sick in the head, get him some professional help

2

u/maleia 1d ago

Even Satan would say this is too far.

3

u/7stroke 2d ago

Dump. Him.

3

u/Responsible_Arm_9555 2d ago

Is that the only thing he's got that curves to one side?

2

u/Particular_Cut_3652 1d ago

Soooo I %100 cut this pizza and this is the only comment that unsettled me.

2

u/tipareth1978 2d ago

I like it

1

u/Wild-Lychee-3312 2d ago

Eh. It's weird but, if the pizza still tastes the same, not a crime.

2

u/Sxualhrssmntpanda 2d ago

Excuse me, what? The only way this is acceptable cutting is if the man was blindfolded and chained to the radiator with one arm while doing it!

1

u/leatherfacejr666 2d ago

Get rid of him

1

u/Barswiswi 1d ago

Your boyfriend sounds like a little shit gremlin.

1

u/LionelHutzGhost 12h ago

Are you dating Michael J. Fox?

1

u/Cazzy39 9h ago

Worse than using scissors to cut it

1

u/SmashBrosFoodTruck 4h ago

I have all the tools and equipment necessary to dispose of a body… just saying… no reason…

1

u/Fresh_Confusion_4805 2d ago

I’m not really bothered by it. 

-1

u/jrb637 2d ago

He's Pizzacasso