r/NiceVancouver • u/whiskeyvodkalager Custom (User Editable) • 1d ago
How has your experience been on dating apps?
What has been your best date, and what has been your weirdest or most memorable date?
I have also heard a few women mention that they seem to notice certain demographic groups appearing more frequently or being more active on dating apps than others. Have you noticed this as well? If so, what do you think might contribute to that perception?
Please keep the discussion respectful and avoid stereotypes, racism, or personal attacks. I am genuinely interested in hearing different perspectives and experiences in a healthy and constructive way.
If you are comfortable sharing, please mention whether you are male or female when responding.
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u/AdConscious506 23h ago edited 10h ago
29F on Hinge and it has been weird! When I first joined, I went out with my very first match within 15 days of joining and it was great! We were together longer than a year (unfortunately ended for unrelated reasons). But ever since I have been back, it has been tough. Close to 9 months on the app, talked to 20 guys, been on 8 dates and only 2 ended up getting second dates and then nothing. Ghosting is extremely common, especially once instagram IDs are exchanged. I truly believe insta is where convos go to die. I have heard from other people that the app algorithm suppresses profiles or does not show to people who I would actually consider “most compatible”. Don’t even get me started on how not compatible the “most compatible” profiles are! Just a humiliation ritual at this point.
Also, it’s the same people again and again! Funny thing is I now remember what their profiles and prompts look like and fully notice when anything changes lol!
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u/Accomplished_Job_778 22h ago
Don't exchange phone numbers until the day of / during / after the first date, and don't exchange Instagrams until you've seen each other more than a handful of times.
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u/AdConscious506 21h ago
100%! I used to first tell them that I want to be very intentional about this so I would like to stay on Hinge but then the rebuttal is that “I am not too active on the app” lol! Meanwhile their “signals” badge is active😅
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u/rabbid-genital-warts 11h ago
“I am not too active on the app” lol! Meanwhile their “signals” badge is active😅
Story of my life but I’m a man.
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u/lolalolaloves 22h ago
What's the insta thing about? They just want followers? Or a sign they're unserious?
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u/7theneuron 22h ago
yup a sign its unserious (same goes for snapchat too)
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u/lolalolaloves 22h ago
😅 Snap...Immediately no
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u/hotganache7221 20h ago
O god, can you imagine? "It was great getting to know you over dinner. I would love to see you again and hear more about what you're up to. That top looks lovely on you too... So what's your snapchat?"
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u/wok_away 14h ago
I think it’s a bit of “the mystery dies” too, people make assumptions off your social media and decide they don’t need to get to know you
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u/rabbid-genital-warts 11h ago
I think unserious because it doesn’t make sense. They don’t even unfollow you so they probably just don’t care.
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u/Rinveden 13h ago
I prefer Instagram because it lets you reply to specific messages. This is really useful if the two of you message each other in bursts of 4-5 messages.
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u/bcbudvansticky 10h ago
just use whatsapp
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u/Accomplished_Job_778 9h ago
Or just plain texting (after you've exchanged numbers)? Most dating coaches would tell you to meet up sooner rather than later (within 1-2 weeks of matching). No need for the excessive messaging back and forth before you've even met.
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u/bcbudvansticky 9h ago
The concern is being able to select certain messages to reply to helps organize the conversation when your firing back and forth multiple messages at a time
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u/Accomplished_Job_778 9h ago
Yes, I know. You can do this on SMS, WhatsApp, Instagram. I don't think you can on the dating apps though.
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u/Accomplished_Job_778 9h ago
Or they want to see more photos, that they are accurate, that you're not a catfish, etc. Just tell them your photos are up to date (and also profile tip: have a wide variety of photos, just of you, not edited, showing your actual interests!) IMO it also gives a false sense of closeness and familiarity for someone you don't know yet (same with excessive texting before you've actually met) - I don't know these people IRL, they haven't earned access to my life (yet).
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u/cobrachicken1000 2h ago
The algorithm really sucks. I get matches but turns out to be bots and just ghosts
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u/nopenothankya 23h ago
2 things I noticed ( mid 30s female ) :
People without homes are using dating apps to find a place to stay...
And there are a lot of very new residents.
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u/4litersofbaggedmilk 23h ago
Honestly I feel the exact same as applying for jobs online.
I’m a male, but a problem I’m facing is burnout. It’s hard to tell from a lot of women’s profile if it’s ai or real.
I went for a paid subscription a month and so many profiles look and feel similar, its become various tedious, like applying for jobs.
It’s not personal, but I can only answer a love language answer or how someone likes to go hiking or snowboarding in so many ways.
If I knew it was a real person or if there was more info, I could be a lot more creative in my introduction.
Even in conversations, there is little to no information so like everyone else I end up asking similar questions.
The big difference comparing meeting someone in person vs. Online, is that if I ask someone out in person, I’ll already know what type of date she would enjoy, but vs. Online a surface level date where it’s a coffee or walk or lunch because I don’t know much about here but our limited conversations and very little info on the profile.
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u/Available_Abroad3664 12h ago
I have the best luck ever. Met my now partner 8 years ago the first time I tried a dating app. I sent messages to about 100 women. I got responses from 2. My partner and I had the wild coincidence of each having family from a tiny UK island and she freaked out when we discovered that.
After 3 long phone calls I asked her out to a fondue restaurant. I picked her up. I was doing technical work for a furniture company then and got a big discount on a big phrenology head I brought her as a first date gift. It fit her eclectic style and we still have it on the mantel years later.
I also made a mix of a bunch of music she really likes and played that on the drives.
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u/Totallynotokayokay 22h ago
Almost had to call the cops once cause this dude would NOT leave my apartment.
It got to the point I was screaming “get out of my apartment” and he still wouldn’t leave.
It was crazy.
Eventually he left. I forgot to lock my door, AND HE CAME BACK IN.
yeah. Thank goodness I’m partnered now.
OLD is a crap shoot. And most of the time you lose.
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u/Bitter-Solution3832 2h ago
How did you guys end up at your apartment? Usually online dating starts off with at least a few dates in public before that.
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u/Happyhour2to5 23h ago edited 22h ago
Im 41f on hinge. I look way younger than my age so I tend to get younger guys liking me. Or really old ones. Rarely someone my age. I’m usually very engaging in conversation to try and get to know guys before setting up dates but I’ve noticed that it’s mainly me putting in the effort to ask questions and keep the conversation going. I know people are busy so I’ll give grace but if after a few days they haven’t put any effort in I unmatch. That happens more times than not. I also rarely get matches with guys I find attractive. I am mixed race so that might be a factor. I also have some tattoos but I’m attractive. I’ve dated guys with and without tattoos.
I haven’t had a date yet and I’ve been on hinge for 3 weeks now. Although I have had one person show interest in meeting but I’m not 100% sure I want to meet him yet.
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u/Longjumping-Sea320 14h ago
I'm 43/m in New West, if you'd like to chat with someone your age? Haha
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u/604nini 23h ago edited 7h ago
I deleted them a long time ago after meeting one too many crazies 😂
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u/Serious_Dot4984 10h ago edited 10h ago
What do you do for dating instead now? As a dude (30sM) I feel like OLD and speed dating (ugh) are the main options 😅
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u/604nini 7h ago
I don’t 😂 Like you, I’m not a fan of OLD, and I didn’t know speed dating was a real thing.
As a woman in my mid-thirties, I’m just hoping someone approaches me in the limited time I’m out in public, or he knocks on my door to inform me he is my Prince Charming and apologizes for being late.
So far, neither plan has come to fruition 😂
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u/CreepyWatson 23h ago
35fnon tinder and hinge. I must be boring because guys end up ghosting me after a few messages. If they bother responding at all after we match. That's my experience so far (a year).
A lot of guys my age are great! I find the men on these sites are pretty set up in life and have friends and hobbies. I understand that they're picky with their partners.
But two of my friends (m and a f) both found their spouses on tinder. So there is success.
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u/Serious_Dot4984 10h ago
Nah, it’s not you it’s just dating culture nowadays (I feel old saying that but it’s true). Ppl on the apps just seem more flaky in general too …
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u/Hungry-Section6637 5h ago
If they don’t ask me questions I lost interest fast because I assumed they’re not interested/wasting time. I made the mistake of dating overly quiet people seeking entertainment too many times LoL.
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u/CreepyWatson 3h ago
Exactly.
I found out recently that a lot of people are bots or AI on dating sites. so maybe that's it or they think I am. Whether it's true or not, Im hoping it's that and not that I'm boring or ugly.
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u/sciencebottle 12h ago
It’s been a few years since I was on the apps in Van, but it was my primary way to meet people for a long time….(I’m 30F)
I found that the vast majority of people I ended up meeting (Hinge/Bumble) were unfortunately the noncomittal types who wanted the girlfriend experience without the actual girlfriend. I think that was mainly attributed to me and my choices, but I do think that my experience isn’t unique in Van. It was insanely demoralizing, and my self esteem was in the gutter.
I had the most success when I was up front about what I wanted (a relationship) early and I stopped trying to be palatable or worried about coming off too strong. As soon as I was firm about what I wanted, I ended up falling into my current relationship (and we are now engaged!)
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u/Kind_Clock7584 23h ago
It was a great time culminating in finding a wife. Lots of memorable experiences.
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u/Haunting-Regret-2609 22h ago
36M. Waste of time mostly. I'm an average looking guy so my matches were pretty sparse. I did get some dates. Never with Canadian women, only Europeans or Russians. Not a bad thing, but that's something I took note of. Not entirely sure what it means.
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u/Moondiscbeam 21h ago
I found my boyfriend on bumble and we are 3 years going strong. Tbf, i have always been lucky in avoiding weird guys so i think i am an outlier.
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u/7theneuron 23h ago
Personally I haven't gotten any quality matches. Maybe im not attracted to them/ they ghost/ I was in a relationship out of hinge and gotten cheated on (in that relationship) Yea personally wouldn't recommend, I am a woman in my mid 20s.
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u/rix0r 22h ago
I was single out of a long marriage from early 2024 until mid summer last year when I met my now gf (I'm 42 now). I went on a ton of dates using the apps. They were annoying to use and so time consuming, but I knew it was just a numbers game and to keep at it. I definitely had some good dates. Most were okay, and some sucked.
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u/Expensive_Shape_8738 13h ago
29F I just created it a few weeks ago and had a few matches. I made plans with 1 person and he ghosted me..we didn't exchange any other forms of social media or anything. I had used bumble in the past like 8 years ago? I met someone back then but we have since ended things. I find that hinge is not the same anymore. It's the same pool of people who aren't looking for the same things.
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u/Serious_Dot4984 10h ago
Hinge still seems like the lesser evil among the apps since it seems like ppl are usually more intentional on there but yeah…. Match group buying up all the apps has definitely made them worse from the sounds of it
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u/Infamous-Echo-2961 23h ago
Met my girlfriend on hinge. Put effort into your profile, and it’ll make things less awful.
She and I are in our 30s.
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u/FierceCrayon 11h ago
35F. Did OLD for a long time, before it was cool, because I'm a huge nerd. Met two long-term (4+ year relationships) in 2010 and 2017. Tried again in 2023, for about a year. I have a pretty high bar so lots of matches and bad texting but I didn't end up meeting many men. Of the men I did meet, most of them didn't seem to know what they wanted, couldn't make plans (time, date, place), or couldn't read the room (making awkward moves). One guy took his shirt off in my living room while I was asking him NOT TO. I lived with 4 housemates at the time. Also not sure why he wanted to do that because he looked better with his shirt on anyway!
Eventually moved to San Francisco, met my lovely fiancé, and moved back here together!
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u/dragon_VG 7h ago
I agree with passive guys! They would ask you to do activities, but would be vague about what when and where, like we have to do the planning, or tell them what to do.
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u/No-Trade-382 9h ago
34M - off and on dating apps (and local dating events) since COVID.
Honestly, unless you’re a 10/10 with perfect everything, it feels like a cash grab. You’re limited by likes and the algorithm weighs you based on the likes / dislikes you receive.
I don’t think I’m a 1/10 but I can’t seem to get quality matches - and I’m specifically looking for a long-term partner. My prompt makes it clear I’m serious, I’m open to a phone call or date early, and I’ll unmatch if the conversation stalls.
It feels like Pokémon GO out here - everyone wants likes and IG followers but no one seems actually intentional about dating. Ghosting and non-replies across the board.
On the ethnicity piece - I’m saying this as candid as I can - if you’re Indian, you’re being suppressed by the algorithm.
Indian hate sentiment is at an all-time high and the apps reflect it. I’m Punjabi, which falls under South Asian on the filter. A few of us wanted to test this - 7 people total; 4 women, 3 men (2 Asian M/F, 1 white guy, 1 Punjabi M, 1 Punjabi F, 2 Latina F). We set preferences to 30-35, 3KM radius, same stats and interests, no ethnicity filter. All in Yaletown. Ran it for 5 days.
For context - I’m 5’9, fit enough to compete in martial arts and run half marathons, and have no issues meeting women in person. Didn’t matter. I didn’t show up for any of the women once. The Punjabi woman showed up once.
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u/dream_boy99 1d ago
I’m 26M, I live in Burnaby BC. I have been using hinge for more than 5 months now. I’m an active user, I don’t much likes or matches. If I like someone’s profile, I reply to one of their photos or prompts.
I’m looking for a long-term relationship. A serious connection. My age preference is someone between 24 and 30. If there are any girls between the age 24 and 30, and if you’re single. Please feel free to DM me on Reddit. Let’s be friends first get to know each other better and see where things go. Thank you 😊
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u/deceptres 21h ago edited 21h ago
Been on and off them for over a decade. Met 2 long term partners on them; one of which turned into a 5 year relationship. Also had some weird experiences; some of them borderline traumatic. The worst one made up a fake pregnancy. Some of them were kind of funny in hindsight, like agreeing to go to a nude beach without realizing that's what it was. I'm recently single again and trying to get back out there so I'm sure I'll have more. Hoping for more of the good to funny-bad than the scary-bad.
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u/Glittering_Dog_7371 6h ago
Was on Hinge in 2024, it was overall good for me. People were polite, went on 1-2 dates every month, and I met my boyfriend after 4 months
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u/Ok-Butterscotch1751 22h ago
The dating pool in Vancouver was strange....it was all Indian and middle eastern men, in my experience. Otherwise just super duper fit white guys sprinkled in here and there...
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u/No-Trade-382 9h ago
Oh no, seeing middle eastern or Indian men on a dating app in a multicultural hub in a port city in Canada..
It’s cool if you don’t like to date other races but don’t frame it as strange because they don’t look like you.
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u/Ok-Butterscotch1751 7h ago
I thought it was strange, hardly any other races were on the dating apps....and I prefer to date within my culture if I can help it.
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u/TheFearOfFear 19h ago
As a middle eastern / south Asian mixed dude who was born in Canada, I wonder if I’ll just get lost in the mix.
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u/maddie_pickles 14h ago
This was my experience during the height of the pandemic 44F, Hinge, Ok Cupid.
It was really frustrating because, I am looking for someone who shares similar cultural values as me. And I kept getting matched with guys who definitely did not have those values.
I look younger than my age....most think I'm in my mid 30's, which I'm totally okay with.
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u/VelikimagCro 10h ago
It was long time ago, like 10 years.
There was a lot of girls who would write essays, be flaky about meeting up for coffee/walk. Mostly they where Canadians. European where more open for coffee and south American for walks and going to parties.
I did met my wife on Tinder so I would say it was good in general.
P.s. as English is my 3rd language, long texting on English are not my thing and I prefer to meet up
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u/Next_Page3729 5h ago
25F, it's been ok so far! I think my experience has been relatively mundane, once I figured out how to filter out the guys just looking for a hookup and the obvious catfishes my matches are of pretty good quality. I don't really go on too many dates bc I'm pretty busy and prioritize quality over quantity, but the ones I've been on have been normal. I do feel like it can get a bit exhausting bc you just face a higher chance of not making it past dates 1-3 with someone you meet through OLD, but it is what it is. I've had two short-term flings/situationships and one talking stage that ended after a month and am taking a breather before trying again lol
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u/itzmesmarty 4h ago
Terrible. I've given up. Not for average men. Only for model like men or it's good if you're a woman. You don't get matches or likes a an average guy.
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u/No_Magician5266 4h ago
Early 30s male, generally a slog of an experience but I finally found success through Hinge. The person I matched with ended up being someone I already have known for several years and we’ve been happily together for a while now.
Worst date: met up with the person at a bar downtown late on a Tuesday. They were very late and updated every few mins with a new excuse. Eventually arrived and asked me to come meet them in the alley. I proceeded to text my friend about potentially kidnapping/mugging that was about to transpire. She was just finishing a joint and was a very anxious person. We ordered a few drinks before she started pouring her own out of a flask in her purse. We stayed til bar close and she offered to drive me home (was wasted at this point). Her car was also full of trash. I politely declined.
Weirdest: Regular daytime coffee meet this time. She was also late though because there was a pop-up anime store in Metrotown that day. Immediately on arrival, she proceeded to open several anime figure blind boxes, taking video of the box-opening reveals to post on social media. In the background of the videos, you could see me with arms crossed gazing out the window silently. She proceeded to talk about herself for an hour with no questions about me. We politely exchanged goodbyes and never talked again.
Best (not including the success story with current partner): Another casual coffee meet. We had great conversation for a couple hours, many common interests. She was beautiful, smart, and had a very interesting life story. We ended the evening with intentions of meeting again, however I never followed up because I ultimately couldn’t reconcile our age gap (she was 10 years older).
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u/lhevi 3h ago
Got super duper lucky on Tinder in 2015!
Matched with a bunch of guys but kept messaging with one particular dude for a few weeks. Went out on my first (ever) date (with him), and we'll be 6 years married this year.
From my coworker and friends, the dating pool right now is absolutely pants. A lot of them have deleted their dating apps on and off, both men and women.
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u/doublEndedSpectrum 3h ago
M30 on hinge, joined about a year ago.
Lots of matches compared to other friends and coworkers, they usually want to see what type of pics I have and the usual “it’s because of your height”
Been on quite a few first dates Less 2nd dates And a situationship that lasted about 6months, great woman
What women don’t think to understand is from my side I have to “figure more about them, small text convo plan a date based on her then logistics” to every single one of them More women than days every month is realistically impossible Which has made me hate texting more than already did. I sometime just send a logistics text with day time and place I’ve also had “when and where” texts
I don’t have IG So I go for the phone number
Honestly I can’t complain but I know I could improve if I gave a little bit more in the texting area Won’t happen
That’s my experience
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u/Bitter-Solution3832 2h ago
27M, I’ve had numerous likes on these apps but only 5% ever materialized to a date. Of those none ever went beyond a 2nd date for various reasons.
I guess the biggest issue is the person on the app and how they portray themselves can be a miss when you meet in person. Great people though, I’d still stay in touch as friends if I could.
I’m taking a break how now and will not use any dating app in the future again in Vancouver. If I ever come around to dating I think I’ll try out a singles event or speed dating to see if I vibe first.
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u/No-Gear-9412 1h ago
Probably just one in a million, but my first ever date online (bumble) is now an over seven years relationship and married 2 years in a couple days There's hope.
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u/Heelsbythebridge 56m ago
It was okay overall. Didn't get into a relationship after 1.5 years of using the apps, but met around 15 individuals who I saw for various lengths of time. They were all pleasant even if there wasn't a spark and I enjoyed all the dates I went on.
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u/dragon_VG 7h ago
For the most part, it is pretty good. In my 30s, F. I feel like dating apps can be a hit or miss. I personally dislike being on it, and would love to meet people more organically, but as an introvert, I figured this would get me more chances on meeting people, and putting myself out there. I already noticed a pattern of the toxic guys, even with prompts, or whatever they put in their profile. I’d recommend meeting up and not spending time texting back and forth. I met someone I liked. I did not even thought about seriously dating this person, as I am older than him. I messaged him as we share similar hobby, and was planning to visit his home country. I wanted to know a local from there as well. My advice is is go out with them, regardless if they are not your type, and their profile is not as good. You would never know if you have chemistry with someone, until you meet them, and actually get a chance to talk with them.
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u/vancouver-duder 12h ago
I (42m) have had a lot of success on Feeld. I'm in an ENM relationship and most of the users on there have a good understanding of it, are more openminded etc. Thankfully there's a bigger userbase on it than it had a few years ago, and it's relatively high-quality people compared to other apps. I definitely recommend it for anyone who's ENM/kinky/looking for anything a little alternative. If you were a fan of OkCupid back in the day, it's a bit of a similar crowd.
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u/Terrible-Possible-26 6h ago
I found it to be men looking for hook ups rather than relationships....
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u/uglybutmotivated 11h ago edited 11h ago
Luck didn't exist, so I lost the weight. A low dose of methamphetamine helped pull the curtain back on reality. It became incredibly clear: every flaw, every bad outcome was my fault, and therefore mine to dissect and control. I started spending hours just walking the streets, sometimes lifting to break down the muscle. I needed capital, so I told my boss to give me more hours. I bought a hair system. I bought a photoshoot. I engineered the exact image required. Within a year, the results were much better.
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u/Sweaty_Weight_2486 10h ago
Dont bother with dating apps. Do what most of us do, find yourself a nice asian girl (of which we are eternally blessed to have a huge and unending supply of). Problem solved.
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