r/MilitaryTrans • u/Mysterious_Crab_511 • 14d ago
Am I wrong for this?
So I’ve recently come out as trans to my husband who was very accepting of my decision. However I will not say anything to my command because for starters I love the Army, it’s basically in my nature since I’ve done so well for the last five years and would love to continue serving. I’ve accepted the fact I won’t be able to take T, luckily I have a deeper voice for a female so I can naturally feel myself even in front of my command and soldiers. I know I won’t be able to get a double mastectomy unless I would find like a lump or have family that has had breast cancer in the past. I know I won’t be able to transition at least until I decide to get out which again is fine though I lowkey hate it. The only thing I can do to truly feel like myself is grow out my leg hair and such because there’s nothing in the regs that state I have to shave them and wear either a chest binder or use trans tape to flatten my chest. Again no one can say anything since they won’t see it obviously and there’s nothing in the regs. I’m just curious if I’m wrong for it? I’m sure my closest friends in the Army would question me a bit although they have seen me in men’s clothes practically since they’ve met me when we hang out outside of work. I don’t know, I guess I’m just looking for some guidance on this.
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u/SpiritedSoul 14d ago
There is nothing wrong with staying silent and not coming out to continue to serve, if your values align with that decision and you see your identity as a soldier as more important than your identity as a trans person for the sake of self image and mental health.
Like if you are psychologically ok with this, you are taking the steps to keep your mental health stable. Go for it!
It is hard out in civilian world as a trans person right now. Social mobility is near nonexistent for our community, nevermind the general population. The military is one of the few ways you can get benefits for when you are out to allow you to have any kind of advantage in our society. Don’t lose those benefits if you don’t have to.
No one in the trans community will judge you for this.