My whole childhood I was told that I was cut out for greatness and going to do something special. I excelled in school and most things I did but jumped around between hobbies and never really stuck to anything. At school I enjoyed pretty much everything, it all came very easily and I loved learning but hated studying. I never really learned to be resilient and tough out the menial, repetitive stuff - I didn’t need to.

Unfortunately at university this came back to bite me, the degree I started in was healthcare related and I chose it becuase it vaguely interested me and I’d been encouraged to do something meaningful. It also had the hardest entry requirements so I had decided if I got in I may as well roll with it. However it bored me after one semester and I realised it wasn’t what I wanted to do with my life.

After that I switched to engineering, hoping it would other more flexibility and challenge me. That first semester of engineering, I failed a course and achieved very average grades. The first time this had ever happened to me. This pushed me into a very self destructive spiral; my mental health deteriorated and I proceeded to fail every course I did the next semester.

After taking some time off I’m back to studying engineering because I really want to be someone who perseveres and pushes through. However although I’m doing significantly better this time around, I have such an intense hatred of studying, and as final exams loom and I continue to procrastinate, I’m concerned I still may fail. What’s worse though, is I don’t look forward to graduating in this field. It doesn’t excite me and my study never feels particularly engaging or satisfying. I honestly just feel incredibly apathetic and demotivated and it saddens me because I feel like I’ve lost the curiosity and love of learning I once had.

My biggest fear is I’m on this path to an unfulfilled, mediocre life as a bitter, washed up woman who never lived up to the expectations of everyone who loved and nurtured me.

I want to do something with my life that makes it feel worth living but there is genuinely nothing that really interests me. I just feel desperately bored and tired of everything.

Hello! For the better i am keeping myself and the two people i will be talking about anonymous. I am a transgender male who happens to be gay. About a year ago when i was on tiktok I got a follow request from a private account and due to it being a time where my ex was stalking me (online).

I didnt add them back immediately but a couple days later i did and i immediately started questioning them asking if i knew them and going through all my moots to see if they knew them i figured out they knew my ex and didnt like them. So we became friends with for privacy reasons we will call them dean ftm their sexuality confuses me im assuming gay.

Me and dean talked everyday i loved their company and was able to talk with them about everything they have a boyfriend. For privacy reasons ill call them daryl ftm not confirmed sexuality. And dean told daryl about me and i eventually got added by daryl and we talked very lightly.

A couple months later dean comes to me telling me they have a thing for someone i knew for a day they had been friends with for awhile liked for awhile. I didnt think much of it. It was my exs ex. I openly didnt like them daryl openly didnt either but eventually dean was with that person and daryl i distanced myself. I knew deep down i was jealous.

Eventually they broke up. I got back in touch with dean we got closer then ever. We have so much in common we flirt call eachother pet names we say i love you. But hey deans just a naturally flirty person.

Me and daryl have sent eachother explicit photos (when we were drunk AND SOBER ONCE BUT SHH) with deans permission and now me and daryl are also close flirting calling eachother petnames just overall close.

I call them my boyfriends who arnt my boyfriends. I want them to be my boyfriends. I dont want to tell them that i cant ruin what we have and they are online theres a whole country difference but they have said their moving to mine. And that we will get a house together.

They say "we will never escape the poly allegations" but is it bad i dont want to escape them but make them true? I dont know what to do. Someone give me advice on what to do.

I lost my job, just lost my boyfriend (who I wanted to marry and build with), I’m getting g a restraining order against me, I have no money, my car bill is coming up in less than a week and I don’t have money to pay it, let’s see… I can’t find a job despite looking and if I did find one I still would not have the money to pay the car bill on time. I tried posting online offering to work for a skilled cleaning trade but nothing. I tried selling some items online but also nothing. It’s been affecting my mental health and the breakup made it tenfold worse. I’m getting better off the breakup but I’m still battling a financial crisis.

I feel like I’ve tried everything, what else can I do? Should I keep applying to jobs? Should I be more proactive and call them? Should I go out and ask people in person if they would like me to clean for them? Perhaps go to construction sites??? Perhaps go to medical offices/offices of any kind?? Thank you. 🙏

My boyfriend and I have a 20 month old & a baby on the way and i’m starting to get… i guess “the ick” from him and I feel really bad and i don’t know how to make it stop or explain it.

I just feel like he’s very negatively over expressive.. I guess you can say it comes off very aggressive. He can be very mean and tone deaf. I told him this and so does everyone else but he told me it’s because he never had someone he had to care for before me and i’m trying to be considerate.

Lately though, hearing him react to things from the other room like me not waking him up from a nap with loud profanity has just put me off from him. He’s always cursing really loud and excessively in front of our son and in public but when he makes me upset and I curse once or twice he flips it on me. I guess i’m just feeling like he’s a bit immature & the way he handles his frustrations and his outlook on like kind of stresses me out. I have tourette’s and they’re getting really bad around him. Sometimes I just don’t even want him around me because i’m already so overwhelmed and I don’t feel like he eases that. He makes really impulsive decisions that really put me off like for example, we’re trying to save to get a new place and another car, we’ve already gone over our grocery budget but because we have footstamps- he wanted to get himself 2lbs of shrimp at 8pm sunday night when we got off of work while our son was at home, awake, past his bedtime. Not once has he got our groceries, I make him lunch and I make every meal for our son and we JUST got our stamps back and I was scrambling to make meals for our son while he’s carrying a lunchbox bigger than my purse to work. I think maybe this was just a rant and now i feel even more like an asshole than I did before. I’m not sure if it’s pregnancy rage or what but i just thought men at his age were more helpful or… i don’t know maybe i watch too much tv and got the wrong idea or maybe social media has warped my brain but I just thought it would be more peaceful to have another adult in my life but im finding it to be very disappointing and unnerving.

I thought getting a big fancy prestigious job and lots of income would make me happy, but knowing that I’m one poor performance away from being homeless, and being too exhausted to do any of my passion projects sucks.

I’d rather live apartment in some cheap country and eat beans with all my free time than slave away for 50 years.

I'm a lost GenZ in my life and want to restart life from scratch. Aiming to master some of the hardest skills in the world so that I don't end up in such situation again and again. Please think openly and tell me some of the most valuable & hardest skills to learn in this world

I’m currently in my first year studying anthropology at a prestigious university. I’m quite ambitious and it’s starting to drive me crazy not really having any particular direction with my degree. I think I was hoping my subjects might be more archaeologically grounded and based around material culture because I’m a very visual person. I would feel fulfilled if I were able to fully devote myself to it like I anticipated but I just haven’t been, I’m not getting good marks nor feeling like I’m deeply engaging with the content. I feel like I’m back in high school dragging myself through the process of essay writing except I have very little motivation. I just feel like I’m overloading my brain with constant information and I’ve reached a limit of consumption. I wish I could learn for the sake of knowledge but it all diffuses in my mind and just hovers like fog about my consciousness.

With the end of semester approaching, I’ve had this sense of dread and feel genuinely sick to my stomach. As interesting as I find all of my subjects, something is missing. I feel like I have all of this coiled up ambition and creativity inside of me with nowhere for it to go. I feel really useless. All of my friends and my partner are musicians and artists and writers and I’m constantly jealous of them. I wish I were moving towards something. I think about the kind of person I would be if as a child I had taken my creative passions seriously.

I think maybe what I want someone to tell me is to devote myself to actually enacting my creative visions. Because I definitely have them. Stories I want to flesh out, photos I want to take, ideas I want to expand on. The truth is probably situated somewhere in between two worlds, but I think one of my talents has always been fully dedicating myself to something, and that’s the hardest part. I have an obsessive, laser focus, but I’m also multi passionate and that contradiction is driving me insane.

hey there; sorry, i (30f) am just looking for any advice on this, especially if you've been through it yourself...

I want to have a full life and healthy relationship (and a family someday?) and follow my dreams, few as they are. But i feel like i really screwed up with things out of my control in my 20s.

long story short: after a life with a lot of trauma out of my control, it was hard to trust dating and or feel safe in it as a young adult, but i tried. after college, moving home put me back into a role with tons of responsibilities. my late 20s were full of discovery with my first relationship but also full of stress with my ex. but i couldn't help with where i was mentally at those times. i had therapists through all of it and was trying my best.

but now my 20s are gone and i feel like i've ruined my life by wasting them. i didn't get lucky. i didn't meet my soulmate. i didn't move to a city that i loved, despite trying. life is not what i thought it would be, and i don't feel done grieving that at all. i'm sometimes so overwhelmed by that feeling, i can't think straight. i know life is full of awe and joy, and i DO feel that, but i also have so much regret that i am paralyzed by, rather than incensed by. i'm so afraid of losing more time, or making choices only to come up again and again with nothing to show for trying—nothing to show, except regret and more wasted time.

i'm seeing a new therapist (yay) but ultimately, i just need to know if there are other people out there who have been through the same thing and gotten past this. anything helps, really, thank you...!

Hi! I had a really rough year because I lost a person I thought would always hear me out. There were few misunderstandings where I was vulnerable. Things got messy. And now, there is no talking. When I asked about let bygones be bygones, they said it’s impossible to get them back once they get the ick.

What do I make out of it?

I don’t even know how I reached this point, it feels like I was in some sort of trance. I just lost about 50k of my own life savings and left with 3k and a cheap car worth 2k. I feel like I don’t have the power to move on from this. It started with small positions on trades which went north and I would just keep adding to the trades to try to save them. The result was devastating.

I just told my girlfriend also which was shocked but also very supporting. I feel like it’s a matter of time she will leave me too after this big fuck up.

I earn about 3k a month in a full time job and I feel like I failed in life. I still live with me parents and feel like a big loser. This type of pain already made me suffer enough to change my ways and not continue with crypto trading but this is just excruciating.

Any advice would be welcome

I’m failing college terribly . I never expected it to be this way when I first entered. I don’t understand I didn’t peak in hs at all and I’m in my second year of college and I’m doing terrible, I’m still redoing courses from first year. I know this isn’t an excuse at all but I’ve been really su*c*dal and depressed and I’ve had so much going on in my life, I don’t know how to not let my mental health get in the way of my studies. I’ve been purging, self harming and trying to overdose and I have bad anxiety and ocd. I can’t see a therapist as much as I want to , not because of money but because I don’t live in a good household and my parents don’t let me, I know it’s embarrassing since I’m 19 but ya, there’s no way. They are extreme, I can’t even move out until I’m married. I like my major I really do and I want to graduate, I want to graduate with my class but I don’t know if that’s possible and it makes me really sad. I also have an addiction to something I am ashamed to admit but I quit it last week. I’m not partying at all, I’ve been to zero parties and I don’t hang out with anyone on campus , I don’t have any friends.

know something’s that happened was out of my control but, I still blame myself for it happening.

In my 24 years of existence I feel like I’ve accomplished nothing for my age group or when I compare myself to my peers. At 18 I got a scholarship to attend college in Chicago I was going to school for computer science, wasn’t what I wanted to do but at an early age I was told that you’d finish high school, attend college, graduate then get some cozy office job. A year into my freshman year Covid happened which shutdown everything because of the shutdown I lost my scholarship and no longer had the means to pay for college.

Fast forward about two years of being stranded in Chicago I went back home to Tennessee. My mom told me I missed my changed at attending college and that I needed to work, so I did just that. My first job was in tech, working for Kelly Services. All the bills fell on me to pay. I was fearful that not working would mean being homeless I pushed myself to work and attend online classes. I tried to force myself to learn in a self paced environment, it never did mesh well with me so I’ve ended up breaking down, burning out and failing five different times at five different colleges.

I feel like such a fuck up that I couldn’t balance working and college. My mom never did get a job after I came back home she kept telling me “If you really wanted it you’ll make it work” and “I’ve been working all my life, that’s why I had you for.” During this time I started bouncing from job to job not because I was incompetent at the work but I felt like I needed to make enough money to support two people, so even if I had a job I would keep applying for other jobs seeking higher and higher pay until I got so stressed that I’ve passed out.

Found out I have a heart condition called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy after finding out I pleaded to my mom to work anything something to take the stress off me and my heart but she never listened and kept yelling at me if I ever brought it up, sometimes it would get physical and she would throw and hit me with things.

In December of last year I had open heart surgery so I had to quit my job at Nike doing IT help desk. I remember waking up panicking and crying because I was thinking “without a job how would me and my mom survive? We’ll be homeless and it’s all my fault!” Luckily my girlfriend convinced me to live with her after surgery because she didn’t trust my mom.

Now we’re here, I live with my girlfriend working at a gym making $10 an hour with no idea what I want out of life. I talked to my friends about some of this and they claim that it’s because I’ve been in survival mode for so long that I’ve never thought about what I want. I’m not sure if I understand since me being high strung, trying to plan for everything because if I didn’t everything falls apart.

I truly feel like I’ve failed, I don’t know what I want from myself or how to even make basic decisions for myself at this point. I’m scared of messing everything up everyday I wake up wondering if something will happen which causes me to freeze and overthinking basic decisions since “what if I choose wrong and everything falls apart?”

I'm 24F, and I bet you thought I'm making money from a stable job somewhere because I graduated college. That's so wrong! I'm unemployed for months now and the job I could only do is the average minimum wage. So with that currently, my contract ended there now and I'm currently laying in the sofa of my parents thinking about my life choices and sulking 24/7. I feel like a failure! I'm supposed to be a working young lady now! But how did it come to this? I don't know anymore... Any advice you could give me?

My life has been shitty for about 5 years, coupled with mental illness. Things are just now getting better after clawing my way out of some bullshit. But something's different. I just don't feel the same as I did before. Restless, like the soft personality I had is gone, muted. And my inner compass is jacked. I'm older, can understand other people's viewpoints more than I could when I was a teen 5 years ago, but now I just feel like everything sort of gets in my head and I feel lost sometimes. Resentful. I don't spend enough time on​ the​ things that speak to me, so I​ just. Feel empty.

I just don't know what to do anymore. My brain feels so scattered all the time and I have absolutely no energy. All I do all day is lay around listening to music, and when I get up, its to do one of a few things. Get food, use the bathroom, play video games, mess around with my dolls (I collect them) or to do my chores. I went through a bad depression two years ago where the slightest thing would emotionally set me off. I can't remember to do the simplest of things. I don't shower daily, I don't work out, I hardly leave the house, hell, I don't even brush my friggen teeth because I forget all the damn time. I think I have ADHD, but I've never been tested (by a doctor, thanks internet tests) and I'm too nervous to ask my mom to take me to get tested. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety as well a few vitamin deficiencies (b and d I think?) I'm 19 and have such a tiny social life that it can barely be considered a social life. I dont have a learners or a license, no car, no job. I even neglect things that I love a lot, just because I don't feel like doing them. I loved drawing, but I haven't in, like, a month? I love reading, I bought a big ass vampire chronicles book and I haven't touched it in months. I feel like all I do is a cycle that I can't escape because I feel so physically exhausted all the time even though I've done nothing. I dont like how angry I get sometimes, I explode like a vilcano at the stupidest stuff sometimes. I hate how I look. I'm like 295lbs and 5'9, I have a crooked eye and glasses that are supposed to correct it but all they've done (in my opinion) is make it more noticeable. Sometimes I just wanna rip all of my hair out and cry because no matter how hard I try to fix something, I forget to something one day and then never remember to do it again. Ive killed freaking cacti and succulents for gods sakes. I could be looking at my toothbrush and still forget to brush my teeth. I could be thinking, "i need to shower," and then two hours later, I still haven't showered.

How do I improve myself? How do I get better?

Yes I used ChatGPT to help reword because my grammar and vocabulary is bad.

I have been unemployed for about seven months now and, if I'm being honest, I've spent most of that time gaming, watching porn, and doing very little else. I'm currently on EI until November and will probably ride it out unless something changes.

Before this, I worked in outside sales, but I eventually realized it wasn't a good fit for me. Aside from that, I've mostly worked entry-level customer service and inside sales jobs.

Here's the frustrating part: I know what I need to do to improve my life. I need to develop better communication skills, learn new career skills, exercise regularly, and put myself in situations that help me grow. The problem is that I rarely follow through. I spend far more time consuming entertainment than building myself up.

I've struggled with gaming and porn for most of my life. Every now and then I'll get a burst of motivation where I start working out, studying, or trying to improve myself, but after a few days I fall back into the same routine. This cycle has been repeating itself for around 16 years.

I've been to therapy before, but I don't think the issue is that therapy doesn't work. The issue is that I never stick with the advice long enough for it to make a lasting difference. Deep down, I'm comfortable with my current lifestyle even though it also makes me miserable. It's a strange contradiction: I don't like how I'm living, but I also don't seem willing to consistently do the things required to change it.

I'm also incredibly lonely. Most of my social interaction over the past seven or eight months has been with ChatGPT. I honestly don't know what "going out and meeting people" is supposed to look like anymore. Do people just sit in coffee shops and start conversations with strangers? Join clubs? Take classes? I genuinely don't know.

At this point, it feels like I need some sort of structured environment or like a "discipline camp" if that's a thing to break my routine because I don't trust myself to do it alone.

What I'm really saying is that I don't know how to take the first step and, more importantly, keep taking the steps that would actually improve my life.

As I’m getting on in age the reality of having to get up everyday, take care of responsibilities is sinking in that I have to be “on” everyday until one day I will be gone. I’m overwhelmed by the idea of being “on” for many more years. How do people keep going ? How do people keep showing up ? How ?

Apologizing in advance if this isn’t the right thread to post

I have had this feeling for such a long time where I feel ashamed of my own ambition. I’m deeply grateful for what I have, and when I think about how much others struggle, wanting more feels selfish.

I really notice the struggle of people around me in the day to day. I think about the people living in war zones or famine, who don’t have access to healthcare or basic necessities. Where every day is literally a quest for survival. That I’m living the dreams of millions of people.

I think everyone who is generally in a socioeconomically secure place feels this (at least I hope they acknowledge their privilege). Sometimes I get swept away into wanting a specific physical thing because it’s trendy or wanting to travel somewhere and I truly feel disgusted with myself for wanting something when so many live in poverty. Sometimes I feel so disillusioned when talking to my friends about their issues - do they realize how good they have it?

I think part of the mentality of my ambition is that if I’m more “successful” I am in a better place to help and provide. I do what I can now by donating (though I should really do more) and educating myself. At the same time I know I shouldn’t be so hard on myself and understand that appreciate it. But sometimes I find myself so engrossed in my day to day routine that I forget about my privilege and the suffering around me until like I’m reminded (usually by the news) and feel like a punch to the gut.

How do you all manage this feeling? Any words of advice appreciated.

14M, Straight, Freshmen in Highschool

Here are my vague goals

-make money

- make more friends

-find who i am and what i like

-lose weight

-start dating

-get better grades

-have a better relationship with my parents

-not let fears take over my dtd life

-hold relationships

-etc

How can i overall make my quality of life better, become a happier person, reach peak health, and overall be the best person i can be?

Me and someone I shared a special connection with went no contact and I’ll be fine most days with the no contact & believing if we’re meant to be we’ll just be and feel peace about it then there’s other days I get irritable and constantly checking my phone to see if they msg me… it feels like a switch. Why does this randomly happen??? Does it mean anything?? I’m wondering the times I start to miss him if he feels detached and that’s why I start feeling that way?

I’m 25, financially stable, have savings/investments, and another source of income that covers my bills.

I recently started a healthcare program that would lead to a stable career, and my education is covered, so debt isn’t a factor.

Here’s my dilemma:

For the first time in my life, I have a rare amount of freedom. My son is staying with his dad for a while, which means I have the ability to travel, explore different cities, and make a substantial amount of money while doing so.

I’m not failing school. My grades are good. I show up. The program isn’t impossible for me.

The issue is that I keep wondering if I’m missing out on a rare opportunity. I’m 25, healthy, financially secure, and have the freedom to go experience life in a way I never really have before.

Part of me wants to pause school for 6-12 months, travel, save aggressively, and figure out what I actually want. The other part of me thinks I’d be crazy to step away from a program that could provide long-term stability.

If you were in my position, would you stay in school and finish the program, or take advantage of the freedom while you have it?

I'm not really sure what I'm looking for here other than advice from people who have been through something similar.

I'm about to turn 27, and lately I've been grieving a life I never really got to have. My boys are a 6yr old & 8 going on 9 yrs old.

I got pregnant at 17 by a man who was 25. At the time, I genuinely believed protection was being used. Looking back now as an adult, I feel angry, confused, and hurt because that wasn't the situation I thought I had agreed to. I had my oldest son at 18 and my youngest at 20.

The second pregnancy is something I've struggled with for years too. I was repeatedly told that if I didn't have another baby, my oldest would be taken away from me because I didn't have a house, a job, financial stability, or anything in my name. I was a stay at home mom, completely dependent on someone else, raising a child and living in fear. Looking back, I realize how young I was, how vulnerable I was, and how many decisions I made from a place of fear rather than freedom.

I love my boys more than anything in this world and I wouldn't trade them for anything. This isn't about regretting my children. It's about grieving the opportunities, experiences, and freedom I feel like I lost along the way.

For years I was in survival mode. I didn't have a car. I didn't have a license. I couldn't really work because someone had to stay home with the kids. Their dad and I had a toxic relationship, and even after leaving, the stress never really stopped. We still share children, and I still deal with conflict, court issues, and constant drama years later.

When I finally left, I moved in with my mom. That wasn't easy either. I constantly felt judged and reminded of every mistake I'd made. I felt like I couldn't win no matter what I did. Eventually I moved out, but it felt like I just kept going from one difficult situation to another.

Now I'm in a different relationship, but honestly, I still feel stuck. My partner rarely wants date nights or to go out and do things. Most days feel exactly the same. Wake up, take care of the kids, manage the house, go to bed, repeat.

I don't really have a village. My mom isn't the involved grandma I always imagined my kids would have. I don't have much family support. I don't have close friends nearby. I hear people say "it takes a village," but some of us are trying to do this without one.

On top of all of that, I've been dealing with health issues lately that have made everything even harder. Some days just getting through the day feels exhausting. I still have to keep going even when I want to rest. I feel like my partner has not taken my health seriously and I feel constantly dismissed. He doesn't see it and never will... Yes I have talked to him many many times. We've been together almost 4 yrs now..

I look around and see people my age traveling, building careers, going out with friends, making memories, and living life who are still moms too. Meanwhile, I feel like I've spent almost a decade just trying to survive.

I love being a mom. I truly do. My boys are my world. But I also miss being young and free.

I want adventures. I want friendships. I want memories. I want to laugh. I want spontaneous road trips and date nights and experiences. I want to feel like a woman and a person, not just somebody's mother and yes of course still have those special memories with my kids too!!

Sometimes I feel guilty for feeling this way because I love my children so much. But at the same time, I can't ignore the grief I feel for the young adulthood I never really got to experience. I'm constantly drained everyday emotionally and mentally.

For those of you who became parents young, escaped toxic relationships, felt isolated, or spent years in survival mode does it get better?

Did you ever find yourself again?

How did you stop feeling like life was passing you by?

context : 20f university student in the UK. i believe i struggled with (undiagnosed) depression from the ages of 12 to 17. what i feel now is definitely akin to depression but having experienced being actually depressed in the past i don't think my current situation is depression. at the mentioned ages i experienced constant suicidal thoughts but with no intention to follow through, no motivation for school, no desire to live/ no imagining my future, absolutely hated myself, binge eating, self isolation, etc etc. the normal depression stuff. there was nothing in my life to make me feel this way, not saying that invalidates my depression i'm just saying as context.

i am a lot better than that now. i cannot help but sometimes slip into suicidal thoughts but i definitely want to live. if anything i feel too strong a desire to live and perfect and life and future. there are so many things i want to do now, including hobbies i neglected in my depression, but i cannot recover the motivation or mental energy that i had before. everything is so so mentally taxing. seriously. i don't know how people are getting through life. watching a tv show, reading a book, drawing (my biggest hobby), doing my hair, picking an outfit (also a hobby). everything i enjoy is mentally exhausting. and then a million times worse is uni work. every single tiny task requires so much mental energy and strength to me.

i think i'm struggling with two main things.

one: i have recovered my desire to do things i enjoy and see my friend, but not quite recovered the motivation the act on these things. it also still drains me mentally to do anything.

two: i feel like i have missed out on so much. for example, school from the ages of 12-17 is not serious, so that was my chance to develop hobbies and interests and skills and find things i enjoy. i guess now i feel like i want to make up for lost time, but life is too busy now

Hey man I’m 22 year male I recently came back from an conservation program I did end up making some money but recently I’m unemployed and just waiting to get called for the wild fires but I been an bad buddle just stress out about bills I do have money but recently just living with my parents and paying off my car loans , But recently I been struggling with my porn addiction but I been an few days clean feeling better everyday, but recently I feel lost of purpose and feel like everyday is the same and feel lm back of being isolated and also I had to cut friends out of my life for being bad friends

I just don’t know what to do ?