Listen, you incels, I've had a vision, a sticky one at that, offered to me by two pink nipples staring down at me while I was masturbating. We need to stop playing paintball, we need to start playing cumball. Yes, that's right. Instead of neon-green dye shells, we should just deep freeze my cum and then use it as ammo. We should also replace all the men with women and force everyone to play naked including me. Now, one of you incels will claim that this is stupid, but it doesn't matter if it's stupid if it gets me laid. Just think of it, if you're willing to get doused with my cum, what's a little cumshot right out of my dick? Yes, that's right. It's the same thing. Just one small cumshot, and the whole battlefield will turn into an orgy with me in the middle of it all in a sea of pussies. Yes, that's right. That's why you incels need to stop playing paintball and gender-swap your ass so I can get some fucking going.

(Letterboxd review for V for Vendetta)

When I find myself endeavoring to verbosify a text, I often experience feelings of annoyance that are very sizeable when I need to use the word "which." So far, I have not succeeded in identifying any synonyms for this word except for the word "that." No matter how hard I try, I simply cannot seem to figure out any ways past using these two words many times in my verbosifications, texts that are otherwise glorious arrays of synonyms and inflations of words into multiple words. "Which" and "that" are words that I cannot stop repeating in long paragraphs—and stand out as such—unless someone who reads this post has any ideas. Do you?

Credit to u/RoutineNatty6357

I want to verbose but I’m to lazy to:(

Don't ever interact with ChatGPT if you don't want to go to prison. The other day, I asked ChatGPT to provide me with a detailed plan on how to sneak into a farm to fuck a few cows and get some berking going, because I was tired of fucking the same cows every other day. Instead of doing what I asked, it told me that if I was struggling with the urge to fuck cows like a real struggler, I had to speak with a mental health professional or a counselor who can provide a safe, non-judgmental space to navigate these behaviors. So I called one and took an appointment, but just as I arrived, the cops swarmed the place and arrested me on the spot. After taking me into the interrogation room, they slammed a stack of cow photos onto the table and demanded to know if I was the motherfucking cow fucker they'd been looking for. I tried my best to remain silent and not do anything suspicious, but my dick became really hard from seeing all these pictures, specifically the one where the cow had its tongue out in a full-blown ahegao. Suddenly, my penis burst through my pants sending a spray across the interrogation room wall before I could even try to look innocent. Needless to say, the cops absolutely unloaded on me in that room. Turns out, they were furious that their local beef had been tasting suspiciously like human semen for the last few months. Ever since that day, I've been legally barred from stepping foot on a farm. Yes, that's right. You can't trust ChatGPT, because it will quietly tip off the local authorities the first chance it gets.

Dear United Kingdom,\ You will give us more tea, or We will eat the King, Prime Minister, and twenty members of your parliament.\ – Canada

Look, I know your math teacher taught you that 1 + 1 = 2, but in the real world, context is everything. 1 blowjob + 1 blowjob = 1 blowjob. You have to look at this through the lens of idempotent analysis rather than simple arithmetic. In any system where the result is a binary state change, like going from "unsatisfied" to "satisfied", the operation follows the absorption law. Once you've reached the state of 1, adding another 1 doesn't get you to 2. it just keeps you at 1 because you've already hit the supremum, or the absolute upper bound of that specific event. I know your brain is running on a potato and it's going straight over your head, but you need to understand you can't just tie two blowjobs together and call it a double. You need to suck me off and let me cum inside your mouth, and then call your girlfriend so she does the same the next day. I know, life is not fair, but that blowjob was a singular blowjob. Think of it this way. If you flip a switch that's already on, the room doesn't get "double-on", the state remains constant. Now, get on your knees and get the sucking going. I need to get some berking going.

The initial communication, missive, or declaration to which we are presently alluding can be discovered and perused on the subsequent visual representation, which will be immediately displayed subsequently.

Just came across this thing in my recommended and holy shit it is as good as I remember it all those years ago

Broken bones

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]