r/FormulaFeeders • u/Due_Imagination_6722 • May 03 '26
Advice / Question 💡 You won't regret this decision.
My 18 month old still loves his bottle of formula before bedtime, but otherwise he's eating like a normal toddler (and insists on his water bottle, especially if we're out and about and it's warm).
I watch him snuggled up to my husband, slamming books in my mum's face (his current "way" of telling you he wants to look at that book with you 😆) and grinning at me when he shows me a cookie that he doesn't want to share with me. All three of us (my mum came over to help me with lunch when I was on maternity leave and loved to pitch in with feeding) fed him since he was a baby and he loves all three of us equally. I think back to the early weeks and how we'd take night feeds in shifts, ensuring we'd both get at least 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep.
I enjoyed postpartum (as soon as my c-section stitches healed), and am still as relaxed as you can be with a toddler.
All of that wouldn't have happened if I'd breastfed.
25
u/Lanky-Principle-8407 May 03 '26
I decided to formula feed my second from birth (8 days old) after a traumatic first experience. I’m deep in baby blues and starting to feel a little guilty that I didn’t even try this time. I rationally know this, but this was really nice to hear. My brain is not my own right now.
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u/surferboypizzaa May 03 '26
I didn’t even try once, went straight to formula. So happy with my decision (1 year post partum now). I hope you start to feel better soon!
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u/ThenCMacBled May 03 '26
“my brain is not my own right now.” i’ve been trying to figure out how to articulate how i’m feeling to my husband- this is it. I’m one week postpartum as of today. Thank you for this.
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u/Lanky-Principle-8407 May 04 '26
I’m so glad this helped you communicate. I’m right behind you and I’m equally as in the dumps. I hope we get our brains back soon ❤️
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u/UnnoticedPet May 04 '26
Currently formula feeding my second from birth now too! She’s 16 days old and it was hard when my milk was coming in/drying up but I still think this was the best choice for us. The first time did NOT go well and this is a night and day difference for us. I hope it’s the same for you ❤️
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u/Lanky-Principle-8407 May 04 '26
It’s actually wild how all of us are making such an impact on each other being strangers across the world. Really appreciate everyone taking time out of your days to make some random mum feel supported ❤️❤️
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u/MMTardis May 03 '26
My oldest had prom last night, and i was able to be fully present with their prep and pictures, because my husband could seamlessly take over mom duty with the baby.
Stuff like that makes it all worth it!
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u/Ripe-Tomat0 May 03 '26
Agreed. It’s the best. I have never really related to the “no sleep” stuff because we also did shifts. Our daughter also slept through the night at 2-3 months so that was a big help too.
She’s almost 11 months old now. I love that I’m not the default parent getting grabbed at, screamed for, etc.
4
u/sneakybrownnoser May 03 '26
If I could upvote this a million times I would!!! I also have an 18 month old who loves myself and dad immensely and I’ve been so happy and back to myself and mostly sleeping since we switched to exclusively formula feeding around 3 months!
There is no glory in spending your precious first months with your baby being miserable!!
8
u/Informal_Internet214 May 03 '26
I was exclusevely pumping until baby was 3 months and now am weaning to only do formula. Having her bottle fed was the best cause my husband is just as autonomous with her as i am, there is no main parent, everyone is equal. I am also enjoying my pp and that feels weird sometimes, feels like people expect you to be struggling and then are disapointed you are not.
13
u/Weak_Arrival5090 May 03 '26
is there a reason you're still giving your baby formula at 18 months? I've always heard you're not supposed to do formula or bottles at all after 1.
2
u/Due_Imagination_6722 May 03 '26
Part of it is because it helps him relax and fall asleep easier, part of it because our doctor said we could continue until he was 2 (and when he was ill recently, formula was the only thing he wanted to eat).
But we're in the middle of getting him onto full milk (or oat milk) and tea.
3
u/Ok-Mountain-6428 May 03 '26
Thank you for posting this! I was going through a rough patch and needed to read this first thing in the morning
3
u/OwnCartographer6373 May 04 '26
Another vote for I. LOVE. FORMULA.
I EBF my oldest and suffered in every way. My little is EFF and my goodness. What a WORLD of difference!!!
5
2
u/LLAMAMA78 May 04 '26
We combo fed from day 1. I tried to breastfeed mine aiming to do it for the first 6 months like “you’re suppose to” but my supply was becoming a fraction of what she was drinking from like the first month so I gave up completely after 2 months and she loves her formula. She’s passing all her milestones quickly if not a little early. Shes 3 months and already teething, I sooo would not have continued breastfeeding at this stage. Wouldn’t have even imagined it
2
u/UnnoticedPet May 04 '26
My husband did ALL of the feeds yesterday because I was so tired from multiple overnights by myself. It was absolutely mind boggling when I realized I hadn’t fed her once the entire day! It made it extra nice to be able to feed her a bottle in the evening once I felt re-charged!
2
u/allons-y11 May 04 '26
I’m grateful that my wife decided to not breast feed because exactly this. 7 week old, we both get to bond with her. Especially since I’m back at work, i can come home, let my wife sleep, and just hang with the baby.
2
u/Ok-Special5506 May 04 '26
I’m 6 weeks PP and I felt insane guilt for the first 2 weeks. I can’t believe what a difference this is from my first who was EBF foreverrrr. I get rest, I get to take my medications, I get HELP from my mom and husband and it has been the best PP experience, with my first I had ppd and I struggled breastfeeding
2
u/Getoveritmann 29d ago
My baby didn’t latch cause I was knocked out from a c section and they gave her a bottle since birth. The full body anaesthesia also had my nipples flat and my milk came in late. I started pumping finally on day 5-6 postpartum. Baby never really latched again. So I combo feed. First two weeks of recovery was hell, on top of that a screaming baby that won’t latch was too much. Mom and mother in law kept talking about breastfeeding as if I am doing something wrong or not enough (both lives in different countries from where we are). I cried a lot feeling guilty as if I was a failure as a mom.
I was able to shut those voice down eventually. Partner and I took turns feeding, we started taking shifts and getting good sleep. I could finally sit up without wincing and crying, started recovering better. Baby never latched, but we pump and also give formula. I can get things done around the house, get some sleep if I need to, go out wherever. It was a blessing in disguise.
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u/aimestest 29d ago
I completely agree formula helped so much. I was trying to pump because latching wasn't working and then my milk started dropping off after a week. I can't imagine trying to pump while dealing with PPD, having formula was a lifesaver. Sometimes I see anti-formula rhetoric but my daughter turned 2 on the first and she's happy, healthy and the light of my life.
2
u/Jazzlike_Mango_5210 29d ago
Tbh I don’t even know how EBF moms do life like go to appointments. I’ve been to haircuts and dentists by myself while my husband takes care of our son. And they love that time to themselves! I know you could do this with pumping so speaking specifically about exclusively nursing.
My cousin in law exclusively nurses and I know her husband is quietly so sad about never feeding his sons and jealous of my husband for getting that opportunity. ☹️
0
u/0pointr 29d ago
The only deal not great with exclusive formula is that they don't get the mother's antibodies and pre and probiotics that help the kid fight potential infections and build up immunity. Formulas now come with some pre and pro biotics but it's far from a human mother's milk and there's just no substitute for the antibodies and immunoglobulins yet.
Combo feeding is probably the best given they get best of both and you get to sleep at night.
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u/zesty_meatballs May 03 '26
Hypothetically even if you breast fed (pumped and stored) you can still have this experience. People just defrost the milk prior to putting it in a bottle (: but yes, I’m team formula feeding because it’s accessible to everyone and every gender 💕
Instead of a bottle at 1.5 years old, have you tried a sippy cup or a more big kid bottle?
18
u/Ripe-Tomat0 May 03 '26
I’ve seen so many women post a full itinerary of their pumping schedule, power pumping, worrying about supply, still worrying about meds they can take, worrying about leaking at night, mastitis, etc. It is absolutely not the some experience. Mom still has a multitude of tasks on her plate to worry about and her body is still not back to being 100% hers.
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u/stupidddpissbaby May 03 '26
i can confirm that EP’ing was much harder than BF’ing and made me lose my sanity.. having to pump every 2 hours on top of feeding the baby made me lose so many hours of sleep and throughout my day
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u/wilmina310 May 03 '26
Not really you have to pump in a schedule including at night ( every 2h) so there is not much freedom. Hated every minutes of it 😭.
4
u/Turbulent_Cranberry6 May 03 '26
I’ve decided right off the bat to pump 4 times in 24 hrs max and make the up rest with formula. Will find out soon what happens with my supply I guess.
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u/Gillionaire25 EFF 🇫🇮 May 03 '26
You can't get uninterrupted sleep when feeding exclusively pumped milk.
You also have to sit there for 15 minutes at a time, every few hours, listening to your baby cry the whole time without being able to soothe them. (Unless you have unemployed family members with nothing going on who can watch your baby day and night any time you pump.)
0
u/Due_Imagination_6722 May 03 '26
He has several big kid bottles which he uses during the day, he just likes that one per day as part of our bedtime tradition.
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u/CoffeeTeaJournal May 03 '26
It’s wild how society almost expects mothers to be totally miserable and sleep-deprived just to earn some imaginary 'good mom badge'.
To the moms in the comments feeling guilty: Protect your peace, enjoy the shared parenting, and ignore the noise! You are doing amazing.