r/Ex_Foster • u/nurplewurple • 6d ago
How to replicate paternal support ?
Hi All, sorry if this childish and been asked maybe before, but when giving the advice to find support systems how do you find one that’s actually enough ? i have plenty of friends and a boyfriend of nearly two years and a sister i’m really close with , but none of it seems to be enough. i keep crying lately and im filled with such anxiety and i dont know how to feel better. my grandpartents fostered my sister and i 5 years after we went into foster care and we stayed there until i moved out at 19 for college because my government pays for those who were in the systems accommodation during college. these past 3 years (im 22) have been so lonely and my grandmother specifically said when i was leaving “im so ready to be done taking care of people“ and it hurt a lot. i want to reach out to them and ask if they can treat me a bit more similarly like when i lived with them (like a child i guess ?? god i feel ridiculous) but im so anxious of putting myself out there and realising maybe they don’t want to. Im rambling cos im crying typing this so im sorry for how this is formatted and i dont really even know how to ask the question to find the answer i need. i just feel so lost and alone. how do i feel better
4
u/Thundercloud64 Former foster youth 5d ago
There are as many parents grieving for their children your age as there are children grieving for their parents. This cursed opioid epidemic has taken quite a few young people and deprived many parents from becoming grandparents, watching their children get married, celebrating getting that first “real” job, helping their children buy their first home, and every other milestone. I want my Mommy too. I want to smack people who complain about how their Mommy calls to check in, sends favorite cookies, and just wants to be with you. You can join a church, or just say I WANT MY MOMMY at any grieving abandoned mother groups. I found a new Mommy myself. I don’t replace her lost child and she doesn’t replace my lost mother. We sure can appreciate and cherish each other a lot more than people who don’t know how good they have it and take it for granted.