r/Ex_Foster • u/nurplewurple • 6d ago
How to replicate paternal support ?
Hi All, sorry if this childish and been asked maybe before, but when giving the advice to find support systems how do you find one that’s actually enough ? i have plenty of friends and a boyfriend of nearly two years and a sister i’m really close with , but none of it seems to be enough. i keep crying lately and im filled with such anxiety and i dont know how to feel better. my grandpartents fostered my sister and i 5 years after we went into foster care and we stayed there until i moved out at 19 for college because my government pays for those who were in the systems accommodation during college. these past 3 years (im 22) have been so lonely and my grandmother specifically said when i was leaving “im so ready to be done taking care of people“ and it hurt a lot. i want to reach out to them and ask if they can treat me a bit more similarly like when i lived with them (like a child i guess ?? god i feel ridiculous) but im so anxious of putting myself out there and realising maybe they don’t want to. Im rambling cos im crying typing this so im sorry for how this is formatted and i dont really even know how to ask the question to find the answer i need. i just feel so lost and alone. how do i feel better
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u/nurplewurple 6d ago
how do you accept you’ll probably never feel the proper maternal/paternal support you should have had ? is there a way to get this feeling somewhere else ? i can logically understand and have my whole life (i was in foster care since age 5) that unfortunately that’s just the way it is but it still sits so heavy on me and the older i get and further away from childhood i get the more i feel myself desperately wanting to feel the support and notice its absence.