r/ExAlgeria • u/Cheap-Lawfulness9618 • 2d ago
Rant Religious disagreement in a couple
I lost the love of my life short after she discovered that I am an atheist, we were together for almost 7 years, when I told her about that after building the courage(dumb me being afraid to lose her, it toom like a year and half) to tell her she took like 20 days trying to convert me back, and I'm past the red line with religion because you all know why, then she simply asked me for peace, and I left simply becaus eshe asked for it and I felt like it was over for us, its been 3 months and I'm here to vent , I'm deeply sad about it and all what I'm thinking of is existentialism, suicidal thoughts or her, were you in a similar situation before ? How did you overcome that? I need some tips because this is tearing me apart honestly.
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u/Reasonable_Nail9360 2d ago
Don't romaticise it too much, just move on and find someoneyou're compatible with, there are millions out there, life is short so don't waste it grieving
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u/Cheap-Lawfulness9618 1d ago
Crazy how some are suggesting that i convert back or fake it. Thats tiring af and lying ain't a good option with your partners
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u/Historical-Syrup-511 2d ago
Hmm why u guys lie about being atheist Just be honest.. That's a wild idea to u? It'd save u time lol
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u/TheNumidianAlpha Nietzschean 1d ago
It hurts like hell when you live it. But if you keep pushing you will grow out of it with wisdom and empathy and moral strength.
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u/Any_Dragonfruit7193 1d ago
Never accept a religious authority to dictate who you can and who you can't be. There are people who need to be submitted to an ideology to make sense of their lives and we don't, we know religion is man-made. Having said this, the grief period can be short or very long so it's up to you to organise your thoughts so that you'll be able to move on quickly and if I may also add: to learn from the past
If your partner doesn't accept your entire being **then this person is not for you**
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u/gaiacitizen 1d ago
I'm sorry for you I've been there and I know how hard it is, but faking your beliefs for someone else is just not it, you will feel miserable over time
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u/Royal-Particular4095 1d ago
Why did she ask for « peace » ? Was it because she didn’t love you anymore once you revealed your religious opinions ? Or because she was afraid of the consequences of marrying someone not aligned with her worldview ?
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u/Double-Aweome-1330 2d ago
Couldn't you just have pretended to be non religious Muslim? I do that all the time. Who cares if you go to a mosque once in a blue moon!
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u/Impressive_Choice368 2d ago
But its so tough when married no ? I dont want to live a fake life even with the loml
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u/Historical-Syrup-511 2d ago
Why would u lie to ur partner lol You really would fake your whole identity just so don't end up alone .... God dam
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u/Cheap-Lawfulness9618 2d ago
This is exactly why I decided to open up, imagine wearing a mask even with your partner, after all being alone remains better
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u/Historical-Syrup-511 1d ago
It took u 7 years to open up? She got all the right to be mad n leave
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u/Cheap-Lawfulness9618 1d ago
Re read slowly and slowly, i said it took me a year and some months, i was a muslim before
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u/Chance_Bathroom_5364 1d ago
why not isnt this what everyone does?
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u/Impressive_Choice368 1d ago
No, they may lie on some topics but not fake their whole identity and values usually I
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u/TR_GhostRad 2d ago
You will never feel content or satisfied, you are never yourself. Do you really want that?
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u/Mimir_Ygg 2d ago
for a 7-year-old rs, the love of life, i would convert back, not practice but just identify as a muslim if we can agree on common ground. if you see most of the intellectuals, especially Arabs, they still identify as tied to a specific religion without coming out openly, and they do that just to avoid public backlash or government disturbance. they know the answer to that question is pointless and meaningless.
Dude, reach out to her and try to win her back before it is too late.
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u/_nonymouse 2d ago
I'd just 're convert' and keep your lack of religiosity to yourself. Like another poster said, occasionally go jummah, celebrate Eid, you can pretend to fast and drink water privately etc
All this should apply IF you can't live without this person....
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u/bottom-Apple-6771 2d ago
I'd advise you to fake religiosity again to keep your relationship with her if you guys click good, go slowly, give signs , give her more time.
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u/Youyouryan 2d ago
Why are you suggesting for him to manipulate and lie to supposedly the love of his life
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u/Chemical-Figure5253 2d ago
The People who are saying "just fake being a muslim" are annoying and I'm saying this as someone who is already faking it, you guys dont know how exhausting it is to fake praying fake fasting infront of my parents and siblings just imagine faking it to someone like a "partner " a "wife " this is hard are heartbreaking that you have to lie abt something so big like religion to someone you love and i did break up with my ex bf bc of religion he tried sohard to convince me to reconvert and we fought alot he even said that he has every right to kill me cuz im "mortada" this shit made him go crazy. My advice to you is to move on and don't search for a relationship after this 7 years one it's not the best thing to do just try to live your life and be happy with the other things you have live the way you want until the right person come and try to be honest from the beginning when you feel that you might give the next relationship a serious chance to buil a future