r/EctopicSupportGroup • u/rose_feet_life • 9d ago

Advice?

I had an old friend message me after seeing my post about my ectopic pregnancy and she responded with oh it will happen one day, you will be a mother one day. And I couldn’t help myself but blow up on her. She had a chemical miscarriage within her first 2 weeks. Which I understand miscarriages are also hard to handle. But she compared my adnexal ectopic pregnancy to her chemical pregnancy and was acting like I wasn’t a mother. Am I in the wrong for blowing up on her and educating her the difference between the two? I was actively bleeding out and the baby had a heart beat of 130bmp and the doctors told me I would have died within a week if I continued to carry.

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u/sjd1120 9d ago

It sounds like she was just trying to be supportive. You're allowed to feel your feelings during this very difficult time, but doing a "I had it harder" comparison between your ectopic and her chemical is a bit insensitive. At the end of the day, you both experienced pregnancy loss and have both mourned.

I'm very sorry you went through this and I hope you get your rainbow baby soon. 💖

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u/rose_feet_life 9d ago

I do understand it’s hard to deal with a miscarriage too. It just hurt she told me I wasn’t a mom and wasn’t pregnant. But I appreciate your comment. I feel bad for blowing up at her but it’s all fresh for me i have only been out of surgery a little over 24 hours now.