r/AmITheJerk • u/Spiritual-Coat-6156 • 3h ago
AITJ for not giving my brother his money back after he lost a bet he came up with?
My brother and I have always been competitive, but lately it's been on another level.
A few months ago he got really into fitness. Nothing wrong with that, but it got to the point where every conversation somehow came back to how much he was lifting, how many miles he ran that week, or how everyone else just "wasn't disciplined enough."
One night we were at our parents' house for dinner, and he started joking about how he could outrun me easily. I laughed because I've done a few races over the years, but I never claimed to be some elite runner or anything.
The joking turned into an argument, and then he randomly said, "I bet you $500 I can beat you in a 10K three months from now."
I honestly thought he was kidding.
I even told him $500 was kind of ridiculous and suggested we just make it a friendly challenge. He kept insisting. Everyone at the table heard him. He was completely confident he was going to win.
So eventually I agreed.
For the next few months, I trained whenever I could. Nothing crazy, just a few runs each week. My brother talked a lot about training too, although most of what I actually saw was social media posts about training.
When race day came, I ended up finishing quite a bit ahead of him. It wasn't close enough to be controversial or anything.
Afterward he paid me the $500 without arguing. I figured that was the end of it.
A week later he called me and said he wanted the money back.
His argument is that I had an unfair advantage because I'd run races before and knew how to pace myself. I reminded him that he already knew that before he made the bet. It's not like I hid it from him.
Now he's saying I should give the money back because we're family and because I "obviously knew" I'd win.
My mom thinks I should just return it to avoid drama. My dad thinks my brother made a bet, lost fair and square, and needs to own it.
I do feel a little bad because $500 isn't nothing, but at the same time nobody pressured him into this. He chose the challenge, chose the amount, and spent three months telling everyone how easy it was going to be.
AITJ for keeping the money?
TL;DR: My brother made a $500 bet with me, lost, paid me, and now wants the money back because he says I knew I'd win.
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u/CorpseInTheValley 3h ago
NTJ. Your brother was over confident when making the bet. He wouldn’t give the money back to you if he had won. Sounds like he’s just a sore loser.
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u/Spiritual-Coat-6156 3h ago
Yeah, that’s what I keep coming back to too, he was all in when he thought he’d win, so it feels unfair to only walk it back now that it didn’t go his way.
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u/No_Ingenuity7178 3h ago
Your dad is right. Your bro needs to grow up and/or shut up.
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u/Spiritual-Coat-6156 3h ago
Yeah, I think that’s where I’m leaning too, he talked a big game, lost fair and square, and now it feels like he just doesn’t want to deal with the outcome.
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u/Icy-Comparison-5893 3h ago
I really hope your father gave you a spin on the old Pride and Prejudice line of:
Give the money back or your mother will never speak to you again. But if you give the money back then I shall never speak to you again.😅
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u/Tough-Pollution-6046 3h ago
Not the jerk. If he wanted to he could've set the bet at like $5, but he was so confident in himself that he decided to set is at $500. He's just salty he was outran.
Buy yourself something nice OP.
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u/Left_Bet_6137 3h ago
Not the jerk.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Ask yourself if your brother would give you the money back if he had won. Probably not, right?
Disclaimer: English is not my fist language.
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u/Spiritual-Coat-6156 3h ago
Yeah, that’s exactly how I’m seeing it too, he was confident enough to make the bet, so it wouldn’t make sense for me to undo it just because the result didn’t go his way.
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u/Top_Philosopher1809 2h ago
He opened his mouth. Don't let your mouth write a check you can't cash. Hopefully, he has learned his lesson.
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u/Sophieee2210 3h ago
NTJ. He did make the bet and you won fair and square. It seems like your dad understands this as well. If you ever feel bad about keeping the full amount, you could let your brother beg for some money back. Use it as a humbling opportunity to bring his ego down further, he not only lost the race but he had to beg for $100 or $200 back, something like that
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u/Spiritual-Coat-6156 3h ago
I get what you mean, but I think I’d rather just keep it simple and not turn it into a humiliation thing, he made the bet and it should end there.
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u/Amazing_Sir_5707 3h ago
NTJ. he picked the bet. he picked the amount. he spent three months talking about how he was gonna crush you. you didn't hide anything. he knew you had run races before. he just thought he could win anyway. now he lost and wants his money back? that's not how bets work. keep the money. maybe next time he'll think before running his mouth.
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u/tenouttatwo 3h ago
NTJ. This should be a lesson for your brother to not over estimate his own abilities. Next time he starts getting competitive remind how he lost last time he was running his mouth.
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u/Scruffersdad 3h ago
Consequences, my brother, consequences. He asked for the bet, picked the event, picked the amount, and lost. No take backsies.
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u/portia_klu 2h ago
Sometimes people need to humble themselves, and if they have to lose $500 to do it, that's their problem. He's just being a sore loser. If he had made the bet with anyone other than family, he wouldn't be asking for the money back. Also, if he had won, he seems like the type to hound you for his "winnings". He just needs to grow up and learn from his mistakes. Maybe in the future he won't be a gambling man.
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u/catscausetornadoes 2h ago
He ran his mouth and now he wants to welch? Wtf? No. I mean, if he has starving children you would mention, I’m sure. I would buy a piece of jewelry and wear it all the time. Are you people kidding me with this nonsense? NTJ
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u/procrasstinating 2h ago
If your brother is a child give him the month back. If he is older than 16 then keep it. If you want to be nice offer another bet. Maybe biggest improvement on time in 3 months.
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u/SiroccoDream 1h ago
NTJ
He’s a sore loser and your mother is ridiculous.
He knew your history of race running before he made the bet. He refused to make it a friendly challenge when you suggested that. He gave himself THREE MONTHS to train properly for a race, and clearly didn’t.
Now he’s Big Mad and stomping his lil’ foot because he lost the bet he insisted upon.
Tell me your mother has a golden child without telling me she has a golden child.
Listen to your father in this instance. Not-Flash made the bet and lost it fair and square.
Take the money and buy yourself something pretty with it that you can show off at the next family gathering! “Oh, you like it? Yeah, I bought it with my race earnings!”
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u/Affectionate-Food266 1h ago
The lessons he learned is more important than the money he lost. If you give the money back the lessons becomes worthless.
Dont bet with money you cant afford to lose. Do what you say your going to do. Be a man of your word. Learn how to win and lose gracefully.
These are lessons too many refuse to learn now a days. Instead they cry whine and get their mom or bitch on social media, because the cant fathom theyre not as good or special as they thought.
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u/judgeeveryonesbiznes 1h ago
NTJ - these are what we call life lessons. Next time hopefully he won't be such a braggard or such a brat about things before and after the event.
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u/Fre4kyGeek 22m ago
NTJ but you could always return half the money and tell him it's because he's only half the man he used to be
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u/Kynykya4211 3h ago
I have five siblings so I’m well acquainted with family dynamics.
If it was me I would give half back and tell him that the other half is an annoying sibling tax that I’ll be using to pay for expensive celebratory dinner, and that he’s welcome to attend as my guest.
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u/prosecute766 1h ago
NTJ. I would give him back the money under the condition that he acknowledges to everyone in the family that you are in better athletic condition than he; that he never, ever discuss his physical fitness in your presence again; and that he disclose to all family and friends that HE made the bet, lost it, paid the money, demanded it back, and received the refund. IF he did alll these things, I'd give him the money--the humble pie he'd have to eat would be worth the $500.
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u/Mercuryink 3h ago edited 3h ago
https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/d36e2c7d-069d-4ab7-bc22-bf3fad645481
"You never welch on a bet, Dean".
NTJ.