r/AmIOverreacting 18d ago

đŸ’Œwork/career AIO - boss texted expecting me at work

Post image

I'm not sure how to start this. At my job, Saturdays are optional. Recently, we've had a bit of a workload, so i've worked plenty of saturdays in a row to help my team catch up and get a good foot in. The rule of thumb for me is that if my team has too much work, I'll step in and work Saturdays. Well, my boss likes treating it like a mandatory day, getting very upset if any of us is busy. (YES, she WILL talk bad about you to someone else.) She likes to make adjustments so that we have no choice but to work and make it feel like we can't say no. For example, work hours are 10-3, and I have an event at 2 she will tell me to come in 9-1 JUST so she can make me work. Or guess what, if you didn't work this saturday, you have to work NEXT saturday! Anyway, Friday's shift ended swiftly, and I went home with no one asking if i could work Saturday. I got no verbal questioning or even a text message (my boss loves to message my coworkers Friday night asking if they can work Saturday). This worked out perfectly for me because I had plans for a graduation, and I was not going to maneuver around working. Anyway, i checked my phone today to see this message from my boss... Is this not crazy??? She's claiming that I never cleared my plans with her. On a Saturday? An optional day? It feels like she really thinks I don't have a life outside of work and that I owe every hour of my life to her. Am i overreacting with thinking this is a really crazy thing to do and say? Should I have worked ?

TLDR: My boss messaged me the same day expecting me to work (on a Saturday) after no prior agreement

EDIT: Just to clarify because some of the responses are confusing me! I work for a small family owned business in the garment decoration business! If i were to work on a saturday, i would get paid like i would for any day of the week:) - I am asking if i am overreacting to being upset about the situation!

Extra Edit: Thank you so much, everyone, for your input! I've gotten an overwhelming amount of helpful insight! I will be stepping away from this thread now as the amount of comments is overwhelming:) Have an amazing day!!

3.5k Upvotes

408 comments sorted by

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u/Even_Budget2078 18d ago

NOR

But...are you talking? What is going on here? Why are you not just saying "hello boss, Saturdays are optional. I have been happy to work voluntarily to help out, but work days are Monday-Friday and that needs to be respected." Speak up for yourself.

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u/shes-starting-over 18d ago

“Am I overreacting” and it’s literally OP not reacting at all

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u/DierusxD 17d ago

First post on the new subreddit r/AmIReacting.

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u/SharkeyGeorge 17d ago

My roommate accidentally threw away my birth certificate. Am I reacting?

My roommate was deep-cleaning the apartment today. I walked into the kitchen and saw my original birth certificate sitting at the top of the trash can, covered in old spaghetti sauce. I pointed at it and said, “Hey, that’s my birth certificate.”

He gasped and said, “Oh my god, I am so sorry, I thought it was a restaurant menu!”

I looked at him, looked back at the sauce, and then I walked back into my room and stared at the wall for two hours.

Am I reacting?

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u/atmoose 17d ago

NR. Pasta sauce is notoriously easy to get out, and it was an honest mistake. Who hasn't gone to a restaurant and mistaken the menu for a birth certificate before? All documents look pretty much the same to me. It's just a bunch of squiggly lines.

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u/whatamidoing3210 17d ago

Hahahha, yesss

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u/FartFaceAnn 17d ago

Ngl this made me LAUGH SO HARD

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u/slavelabor52 17d ago

Clearly OP needs to respond to this message with a thumbs down reaction

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u/FoulKnavery 17d ago

They’re reacting but their reaction is only affecting themself. They do need to speak up for themselves like this and if their boss can’t handle reasonable and rational behavior that’s a new problem.

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u/DogOne2936 18d ago

Thank you for your response! I did not respond to their message because I know that it will be ignored until Monday and I would like to have a less emotion filled response. It upset me very much.

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u/RIPeyedea 18d ago

It will be ignored until Monday due to their own work-life balance but they expect you to work the optional day? Sounds great lol

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u/shadowpetalhymn 17d ago

Gotta love when “optional” secretly means “we’ll judge you if you don’t do it.”

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u/yajtraus 17d ago

But who cares? I don’t give a shit what my colleagues think of me. They’re colleagues not friends. Too many people value the opinions of people they’d never see again if they got a new job.

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u/recooil 17d ago

100% this, and management knows and uses this to there advantage. Stop giving a fuck what co-workers think of you. Its a job, you get paid in return for your work. Why would anyone give two fucks what joe in accounting thinks of them.

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u/ReignofKindo25 17d ago

NEW JOB TIME!

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u/Content-Honeydew9340 17d ago

It needs to be ignored until Monday because you're not on the clock and not dealing with work off the clock. This is a conversation to have calmly and professionally on Monday morning.

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u/DogOne2936 17d ago

absolutely!! i won't have a work conversation that i won't get paid for!

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u/FullOnSkank 17d ago

I hope others will chime in here but: it feels like you should avoid the word "sorry" at all in the conversation Monday.

I'm no expert but I believe it's commonly seen as an admission of fault, which would reinforce the idea that the boss was right...

I think I'd avoid any "sorry I didn't respond/come in/etc."

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u/DogOne2936 17d ago

absolutely! i was never planning to apologize for anything. i dont feel like anything is my fault. i appreciate this thank you!

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u/ATinyKey 18d ago

But have you conversed about all of this PRIOR to this text.

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u/DogOne2936 18d ago

I'm not sure I fully understand what you're asking. But, i was not asked to come in and I did not say that I would come in.

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u/TheDaug 17d ago

They're asking if you have ever spoken to your boss about their behavior and expectations versus the optional nature of the work.

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u/DogOne2936 17d ago

Oh! Well, it's more recent that this has happened. This is the first time i was ever messaged in this manner.

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u/TheDaug 17d ago

Right, but have you ever said, "Saturday is optional and I don't want to come in?"

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u/DogOne2936 17d ago

Not in the way you have. I have declined saturdays and said no. However, my boss will either make you feel bad for it or tell you that you have to work the following Saturday. it feels like there is no winning.

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u/sinnysinsins 17d ago

IMO it should be very clear which days you're expected to work. This isn't tenable or normal. Bad boss

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u/Diligent_Yak1105 17d ago

100% agree with this. The schedule needs to be established. “Optional” hours do two things — they breed confusion everyone and resentment between those who show up and those who don’t. And if you are salaried, it’s essentially an unpaid day of work and a shorter weekend. I think extra work occasionally comes with the territory of certain jobs/work, but every Saturday? Hell no.

Your employer has a staffing shortage problem and they are making the employees’ problem, when it is management’s problem to fix.

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u/DogOne2936 17d ago

Thank you so much for this!!!

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u/Lightlysingedwitch 17d ago

Friend, a little tip from an old hag: No one can make you feel bad if you don't feel bad. You don't even have to use your own words to answer this text. You have a work contract that says which days you are supposed to work? Just send your boss a screenshot/picture of that part, maybe underlined to be certain she sees it, and see her Monday. And when she says you have to work next Saturday, say no. You want to "win", start saying no.

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u/DogOne2936 17d ago

thank you for this! i love to keep work at work. however, seeing the way my boss treats my coworkers for being busy themselves is mentally exhausting. they have gotten into arguments over saying no themselves. my boss tried to make an example out of one of them by saying "if i cant have a Saturday off no one can".

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u/evieemooo 17d ago

My boss can be very intense and is similar to the ways you describe yours. It’s still a bit mentally taxing sometimes but I have been doing a better job at recognizing the difference between just taking her anger out on me or genuine criticism. Sometimes I still have to remind her that those things have to be constructive and actionable.

Being mindful and looking into the feeling and where it’s coming from has helped me from not letting the petty shit get to me. I think my relationship to my boss has improved from it too. Best of luck and enjoy your time off!

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u/TDG_1993 17d ago

Then tell her it’s optional and you pick the option “no”? Instead of telling strangers online?

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u/DogOne2936 17d ago

^ i wanted to know if i was overreacting to being upset! Thanks for the input though.

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u/Head_Cryptographer_4 17d ago

Just send him a message now 'hey boss, I think there has been a miscommunication. To my knowledge, we haven't made any agreements for me to work today.

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u/DogOne2936 17d ago

That will be discussed! however, i will not respond when i'm not on the clock:)

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u/Head_Cryptographer_4 17d ago

So, just to get this straight. You will: make a reddit post, spend an actual portion of your day replying to people here. And keep your mind on the subject of work and whether you are right or wrong. But you won't: Reply to a text that you already read anyway, most likely solving the entire problem within a minute. No need to reply to the boss further if he engages.

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u/jvzippdabsrus 17d ago

Stick up for yourself. My my

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u/Balacleezus 18d ago

Because after he took this screenshot he msged his boss saying yes sir right way sir. That wouldn't work well on a post

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u/DogOne2936 18d ago

I have not responded, I will not work on an optional day if I did not agree to it prior:)

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u/timdr18 18d ago

Why tf are you telling us that and not your boss?

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u/DogOne2936 18d ago

My question was if I was overreacting to being upset! ^

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u/Nybear21 18d ago

You're not overreacting in the context of maintaining a very reasonable boundary.

You are overreacting in the context of this text making you so emotionally charged or upset that you can't have a very basic professional conversation with the boss.

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u/DogOne2936 18d ago

I have a mood disorder that does cause me to feel emotions at a higher intensity! Which is why I wanted to make sure I wasnt overreacting to the situation. I hear what you're saying! That is why I came to make sure:)

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u/Content-Honeydew9340 17d ago

Oooh that actually makes sense bc I have a personality disorder and AUDHD and I had to learn that it's okay for me to turn my phone on dnd for work contacts unless I am getting paid to be on call. I do occasionally have to check in with people to make sure I'm not tripping bc I have accidentally taken the wrong thing too far and put my foot in my mouth before đŸ«¶đŸ»

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u/DogOne2936 17d ago

This is exactly why I came here! I needed the clarity :)

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u/Hereforthetardys 18d ago

Then why not respond and say that?

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u/FullOnSkank 17d ago

Do you want to be right?

Or have things go good?

If your boss is a meanie, she could easily say it was a "no call no show" and give you a bs write up.

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u/DramaticBadgers 18d ago

miserable ass response. commenters only work with what was posted and ask for more info, not with their jaded assumptions. x

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u/Justinwc 18d ago

You didn't read the post before commenting.

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u/BareTheBear66 17d ago

This... speak up for yourself, or simply ignore it if its truly optional.

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u/Biolobri14 18d ago

Hard to honestly know without knowing more about your work or the actual policies in place


But based on what you’re saying I would just respond calmly to say your understanding was Saturdays are optional and without any input the day before, you didn’t realize you would be needed and you would appreciate clarification on the expectation in the future.

Good luck.

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u/Ok-Knowledge0914 18d ago

This is the best response.

I’m a manager and don’t think I’d end up in this situation because I know who my OT weekend workers are and who doesn’t want it. Also I talk to my people beforehand? Like I discuss what the weekend workload will be and double check that everyone is available or work something out if I have to ask someone to come in.

I’d be curious as well to know what work they do and why or how Saturday work is optional without any kind of confirmation between team members and the managers.

It would be a nightmare if I didn’t tell people what the weekend workload plan was and just assumed the right people would show up. Not sure if an unreliable narrator or just a shit boss.

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u/DogOne2936 18d ago edited 18d ago

Thank you so much for your response! I work for a small family owned business that operates Mon-Sat. However, when I first got hired I was told that Saturdays are optional UNLESS there was a large workload. It has never been "expected" as it is optional to work that day. At least, it doean't feel so optional anymore as I was never asked if i could come in. - I do get paid the same as any work day!

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u/Natural_Peace_7453 18d ago

When you say " no extra pay for working Saturdays" do you mean there is no additional financial incentive? Or as in strictly voluntary with NO Pay for day?! I wouldn't expect to get pay EXTRA but I would expect to get paid my standard wage.

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u/DogOne2936 18d ago

I do get paid the same as i would any weekday! Nothing extra! So my usual 10 an hour!

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u/caffeinated_gamer 18d ago

Hold up, $10/hr for what sounds like a skilled job?? I made more as a Starbucks barista 10 years ago. Homie you might want to look for a new job, the bad management does NOT seem worth putting up with for that pay omg

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u/DogOne2936 17d ago

:") i knowwww i know.. unfortunately its very hard to get a job where i live. considering its just 4 of us. we do more than what we are paid for.

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u/nabiku 17d ago

its very hard to get a job where i live.

How many jobs do you apply for per week?

Always be applying for jobs. Always try to get something better. Every week.

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u/DogOne2936 17d ago

I'm referring to when i initially started applying a few years ago. But you may be right, thank you!

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u/IHaveBoxerDogs 17d ago

I think people are so happy to get a job they just stay there, instead of looking for something better. You can now show future employers you are responsible and can hold a job. You need to move on now. This job is never going to pay you a reasonable wage.

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u/thissleepypastofmine 17d ago

Where do you live?

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u/2pinkthehouse 17d ago

Damn. I have never made $10/hr and I'm 47. I make $50-$80/hr as a server at fine dining restaurant. Much more on private events. There's got to be something else out there that pays more and it's clear when you are and aren't expected to be at work.

You aren't overreacting. Rather, your boss is overreaching into your personal life and free time. I think you have shown great restraint in not blowing a gasket about this.

That said, I world walk into work on Monday and go directly to your manager and establish some boundaries or ground rules for your role at the place. Stand up for yourself (I know it's easier said than done) and know your worth. And while I don't know you, I'm sure it's much more than an unappreciated $10/hr.

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u/DogOne2936 17d ago

Genuinely i wish i could be paid that much!! It isn't easy also having a penny pincher of a boss.. i truly appreciate your input and If I've learned anything from this thread its that i have to be more assertive and put my foot down. :)

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u/Fukyourchickenstrip 18d ago

But you do get paid for OT right? If not that’s not legal. I guess you don’t have a work contract. So I would just reply that when you started working, Saturday was optional. It has become every Saturday which you’re not willing to maintain because you need the recuperation time like everyone else has. If very specific circumstances require you to work a Saturday, on special occasions you’re willing to help as long as that’s communicated well in advance.

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u/DogOne2936 17d ago

Thank you for the response! I totally agree with what youre saying. The only annoying thing is that my boss has a very big mouth and has never once held back from ever making anyone feel bad. At one point my coworker made everyone aware they would be busy Saturday with family. my boss proceeded to tell another coworker "if i can't have Saturday off, no one can". They will even go "I wish i could have Saturdays off". Like youre the boss... you literally can.

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u/therealfurryfeline 17d ago

Start practicing greyrocking. I have a colleague with a bit more responsibility than me (NOT higher on the totempole) who likes to carry a lot of resentment if they feel ever so slighted. I had to start only responding to stuff that was actually adressed to me or fell into my responsibility. I still hear about them gossiping to others about me, but since i openly choose to ignore it, they don't have a lot of ammunition and it shows - and it shows to others in particular.

As long as the boss doesn't adress you directly, don't engage in those passiveaggressiveness. Hmm and soso, if you feel inclined, but try to spend as little energy as possible. If you can fein ignorance of those statements, do so. Boss said something? You haven't heard nuffing!

If you are adressed directly engage only in regards of actual content and stay in factual statements. Don't assume, don't interprete, don't engage. If you need to assume, ask to clarify and force them to be factual. Don't engage with "Do you really don't understand?" or similar direct or indirect accusations. Deflect or say "I wan't to avoid misunderstanding" and then move on.

It's not easy, but practice makes perfect.

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u/Still_Rutabaga706 17d ago

The wisest words ever posted.

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u/acnerd5 17d ago

My husband is in garment creation and to be fair, he has worked larger positions at both companies hes worked for, and both are family owned.

10 an hour, they should be ashamed. Even before hitting management a skilled job like that was not worth it for 10 an hour. He was paid more than that a decade ago. I got that being a cashier at a pet store.

From trimming strings to an assistant to a manager, to a new company managing then moving into a more "niche" position... yeah you may want to look into other places that do similar work and just ask for higher. You should get it with work experience.

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u/DogOne2936 17d ago

Thank you so much for your input! Trust me, i know for sure that me and my coworkers do more than what we are paid for.

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u/HalfaEnchilada 18d ago

Are you trolling us, OP? Are you really allowing these people to use you for slave labor? Working without pay is illegal. And this expectation has become the rule because you have shown them that you are willing to be taken advantage of, and they have been. I suspect they use the "your part of the family, and family pitches in for each other" manipulation tactic, too. 

OP, you are not reacting enough. Stop letting them take advantage of you. 

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u/[deleted] 18d ago

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u/Tavsiyedegildir 17d ago

Just be glad you didn't have the audacity to be born near black Friday and not like working on your birthday. 

But we have a sale! 

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u/Mattymc075 18d ago

Don't ever respond to a text when off the clock

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u/pizzaduh 18d ago

This. I got my old manager in deep shit because of her constant text messages in days I wasn't scheduled. Even after I told her to stop, she kept doing so. I texted a bunch of my coworkers and they all said the same thing that she would text about work on their days off or before/after a shift. Company ended up having to pay us out multiple hours for the text messages and she was demoted.

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u/Mattymc075 18d ago

It's crazy man, once I leave that building, I don't want to hear anything about the place

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u/Starlightsensations 17d ago

What do you mean you were paid out for the text time? Did someone sue it how did that happen?

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u/pizzaduh 17d ago

California labor laws. You can ask questions like, "Can you work tomorrow? Or "Would you like extra shifts?" But when she started wanting complete rundowns or talk about other employees etc it's considered work related. If we didn't answer she'd keep texting or calling us which you can't do. She called me once at 1 am to discuss an employees performance and wanted a rundown of everything they did that shift. I told her to stop calling and texting me when I'm not getting paid to discuss work and she didn't. Or asking me to login to an app to fill out hour sheets that could wait til I was clocked in.

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u/Psychological_Pie194 17d ago

Sounds like I need to move to California


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u/pizzaduh 17d ago

If you like paying $3,000 for a two bedroom apartment and $7 for gas. We have plenty of room.

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u/NevaLumina 17d ago

I'm in CA. The law says if you work any small amt of time (even if its a 15min meeting or, in this case, text) you must be paid minimum of 2 hours. My guess is it only took a threat to sue to have the company cough up pay for each individual instance of text the Mgr sent outside scheduled hours.

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u/SlimTeezy 17d ago

Must live in a civilized place, with labor laws and worker protections... đŸ„Č

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u/rockmediabeeetus 18d ago

NOR This is the answer. And respond verbally if you can—they can incriminate themselves all they want in writing. Document document document. 

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u/PocketButterBandit 17d ago

This right here.

My work phone is set to go to do not disturb exactly at 5. The minute work is done I lock my computer and I'm out.

When I go on vacation I tell the office that if they need me, figure it out bc Im on vacation.

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u/ComplexPatient4872 18d ago

I worked for Disney at their reservation call center and it was a living hell. During peak times we were required to work 10 hour days with “optional” 10 hour Saturdays. After people kicked back at the schedule, 10 hour Saturdays became mandatory for 60 hour work weeks.

I literally had a nervous break down from not sleeping (6am to 5pm shifts) and call after call with monitored bathroom breaks. Don’t let this be you because I would bet that those Saturdays will become mandatory real fast. Start looking for a new job ASAP

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u/jameyiguess 17d ago

What is a monitored bathroom break

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u/ComplexPatient4872 17d ago

You have to put your phone on a specific setting and if you are gone for more than two 5 minute bathroom breaks in a shift, you get written up if you don’t have a doctors note.

My husband worked there a few years after me because he was desperate for a job so he wouldn’t have to move out of state (long story).

He was fired because he would put his phone on pause after a call so he could collect his thoughts for like 10 seconds before the next one came through. They fired him after a month of doing this because they accused him of “resource fraud.” This was 15 years ago and we still don’t know what that means.

I was in the psychiatric hospital from aforementioned mental breakdown and out on FMLA. I emailed to say that I couldn’t come back from leave and would be resigning. When I went to apply for a job at the parks 5 years later, they called me in for what I thought was an interview, only for someone in HR to berate me and tell me that since I had been fired, I am banned from working for Disney for the rest of my life.

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u/Substantial_Bar8999 17d ago

Mother of dystopian lifestyles. TWO bathroom breaks in an ELEVEN HOUR SHIFT!? Huh!? That's downright hazardous to health for a lot of people. Some days I'd need to go five times in that time. Also what if you need to shit? Unless management wants me to go around smelling like poopoo then 5 mins ain't cutting it even if I stress.

Holy hellscapes I'm glad you got out of that and sorry you had to deal with that.

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u/ComplexPatient4872 17d ago

Their excuse was that you need to go on your assigned 15 minute breaks or lunch. Because bodies work like that. My husband had pay a $50 copay to get a doctor’s note to say that he can’t magically tell his body when to poop.

I live in Orlando and would NEVER recommend that anyone works for Disney. My brother was fired for using too much sick time in a short period of time, my step dad has been laid off once during Covid and then quit due to an abusive supervisor in a suspected ageism case. Him and my mom live in Celebration (the town Disney started then sold off to a sketchy property management firm) and still eat breathe and sleep Disney. I just don’t get it.

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u/NewYorker1283 18d ago

What kind of job is this? I've never heard of it being "optional" to show up, unless it's an extra shift you voluntarily agreed to.

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u/Sleepy-Blonde 18d ago

I’ve worked manufacturing jobs where it was Monday-Friday and optional OT Saturdays. You’d just show up and get to work if you wanted to.

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u/SophisticatedScreams 18d ago

OP says there's no pay for "optional" saturdays-- I'm so confused by that.

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u/DogOne2936 18d ago

I'm getting so confused by "extra"! i get paid the same as i would any week day.. so sorry for the confusion 😭

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u/[deleted] 18d ago

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u/SophisticatedScreams 18d ago

That's bananas to me. Family businesses are great for not following the rules and exploiting people. OP should stand up for themself. This is underreacting imo.

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u/smundrugler 18d ago

That happens at plenty of white collar jobs. They give you more of a workload than an actual schedule, and you work enough hours to get it done. But it sounds like opps boss is taking advantage, because that's what businesses do in capitalism. Exploit labor for profit.

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u/HistoryDisastrous493 18d ago

That's messed up. I work 36 hours a week, get 37 days holiday a year, and a great pension. Pretty normal where I live. What you're saying sounds crazy

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u/DogOne2936 18d ago

I work for a small family owned business! Monday through friday is mandatory and Saturdays are optional but HIGHLY encouraged if theres a huge workload. I always speak with my team to know where we are in terms of workload. There is no extra pay for working Saturdays as well!

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u/Sterling_-_Archer 18d ago

We’re not going to somehow get you fired by telling us WHAT your job is
 what is it you do???

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u/DogOne2936 18d ago

Garment decoration ^

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u/Leather_Cheetah23 18d ago

What kind of business is this

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u/CuriousKatMiny 18d ago

How is that legal? You can’t work and not be paid for it. Family owned business or not, this all sounds whack.

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u/DogOne2936 18d ago

I'm sorry I got confused with people saying "extra". i get paid as i would any week day!

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u/Starlightsensations 17d ago

You are likely eligible for back pay if they haven’t been paying you overtime!

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u/DogOne2936 17d ago

I don't even know if we get paid overtime... i'm sorry for being so inexperienced! this is only my second job and i'm in my early 20's so i feel very naive😭

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u/Altruistic_Yellow387 17d ago

Overtime is if you work over 40 hours a week in the US. It doesn't seem like you do according to what you wrote earlier, so you don't qualify for overtime. If you ever do, you will get extra pay on any hours over 40 in the US

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u/Altruistic_Yellow387 17d ago

Op only works 5 hours a day so isn't working overtime even with Saturdays

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u/Tavsiyedegildir 17d ago

No extra pay or no pay on Saturdays lol 

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u/Mattymc075 18d ago

They might not be able to enforce overtime idk

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u/Patient-Succotash371 17d ago

It’s not overtime if it’s less than 40 hours a week. Doesn’t matter which or how many days you work if the total amount of hours is less than 40

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u/mandy0456 18d ago

What's the job? What's the terms around it being "optional" ? I.e are you still put on the schedule and expected to show up if you're on the schedule? Do you need to inform someone ahead of time if you're not available that Saturday?

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u/DogOne2936 18d ago

I work for a small family owned business that operates Mon-Sat. When i was hired i was told that Saturdays were optional unless there was a huge workload that needed to be helped with. Until recently i would only come in on saturdays if there is a lot of work to be done.

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u/SophisticatedScreams 18d ago

If it works for you, that's great, but this seems like a pretty untenable situation. Why would you come in for free to do extra work? Are you well-compensated otherwise? Do you see a path towards promotion? How does this help your career?

I understand in many ways we're in "any port in a storm" territory job-wise, but this saturday thing seems like a terrible deal.

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u/ilspal 17d ago

Where are any of you reading that OP works for free??

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u/SophisticatedScreams 17d ago

There was confusion around the term "extra pay" for the saturdays. When I read that, I assumed that meant that OP got no more money for a Mon-Sat week, versus a Mon-Fri week. But OP says they're getting paid the regular hourly wage for Saturday.

I also think there's confusion around Saturdays being "optional," because it sounds like OP def agreed to work on Saturdays when it's busy. I don't think they really are optional.

My new, revised opinion (based on new information lol) is that OP agreed to this, and if OP wants to change it, they need to use their big kid words.

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u/DisposableSaviour 17d ago

Use their big kid words? Sorry, best OP can do is come to Reddit to complain.

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u/DogOne2936 17d ago

I came asking if i was overreacting to being upset about the situation. Didn't know asking for insight and getting helpful advice on what to do was complaining but OK !

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u/LilLatte 18d ago

NOR

"I'm sorry, but I have another commitment today. Since Saturdays are not a part of my regularly scheduled work week, and no one requested me to come in, perhaps on Monday we could take some time to discuss appropriate timelines and communication to make sure that you don't expect me to show up on days where I should normally have off and have made other plans. Thanks!"

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u/AllTh3Naps 18d ago

NOR

"[Boss name], my understanding is that Saturdays are still considered optional. Has that policy changed?"

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u/PocketButterBandit 18d ago

Your boss can't "make you" do anything. This isn't a parent and a kid. A job is a contract.

Just say no jfc

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u/Head-Docta 18d ago

“I am off on weekends, why were you expecting me to be at work? I never volunteered to come in today. Sorry if you were mistaken.”

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u/Substantial_Bar8999 17d ago

I'm too european for this. NOR. Your boss needs a reality check.

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u/the_inbetween_me 18d ago

Are you paid extra for these days or are you salary? Not that it actually matters, since they're optional. But if I were salary & they're optional, I'd never go, period. And if something was said to me and I couldn't come to an understanding with my supervisor, I'd take it up with HR.

You're NOR, but it sounds like you're not particularly assertive. You need to clarify expectations with your boss and what you are/are not willing to do. Set boundaries for yourself. Future you will appreciate it.

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u/ChVckT 18d ago

HR seems like the route to take. A boss like this will only try to screw you if you don't bend over backwards for them.

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u/SophisticatedScreams 18d ago

Small family business-- if there is an "HR," I imagine it's cousin Sally lol

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u/DogOne2936 18d ago

This is hilarious😭!!! Unfortunately i WISH there was a cousin sally. We do not have an HR.

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u/snooprs 17d ago

NOR - I am still baffled how you Americans are treated at work.

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u/Ninibah 18d ago

How do I get a 5 hour workday?

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u/DogOne2936 18d ago

apply at my job! take my spot😭

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u/Ok-Trouble3035 18d ago

Small family owned business meaning what? What is your actual job? I get not wanting to say the name of company you work for, but some more context would help. Is this retail? Do you sell propane and propane accessories? A paper company? Is it a bar, or cafe or restaurant or something? And also what is your specific role/title?

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u/DogOne2936 18d ago

Yes! I work in the garment decoration business! Shirts, hats, promotional items like banners, trophies, all the things!

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u/AdAvailable2508 18d ago

People actually work on those optional days? I would literally never show up if I wasn’t contracted to

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u/Mattymc075 18d ago

I'll take some OT every now and then

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u/The_Truthboi 18d ago

NOR- kindly let them know you are busy and since Saturday’s are optional and you weren’t asked to work prior you have no obligation to come in

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u/pizzaduh 18d ago

NOR. Tell him you expected a pay raise for the extra work but you didn't see that this morning either.

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u/Ok_Permit_3593 18d ago

Unmandatory overtime is unmandatory

I would cut her off from any hour more than my basics hour, and not go overboard with my acutal job.

You gave her the chance to act like it was welcome when YOU take YOUR time to go to work on a day that you could have got free.. NOR i would check elsewhere already to see if i can get some respect from my employer

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u/SavageSvage 17d ago

In texas, the rule is if you work more than 40 hours in a 7 day period every hour worked over the 40 you're owed 1.5x times your pay in overtime. They can require you to work it but if they're requiring you to work it they have to pay you 1.5x your wage. You said in another post you're making 10/hr. You should be making 15/hr. Look at your paystubs. Just cause you're young doesn't excuse you from knowing when you're being taken advantage of.

Google says:

If an employer fails to pay earned overtime, employees can file a wage claim with the Texas Workforce Commission (TWC) or the U.S. Department of Labor (DOL) Wage and Hour Division.

Get your money. Don't let them get away with it

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u/Patient-Succotash371 17d ago

Have you confirmed with your boss that it is their expectation that you only work Saturdays? I understand that’s what someone told you when you were hired. I suggest confirming your current boss understands that’s your expectation as well

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u/SharkeyGeorge 17d ago

How are Saturdays “optional”? Either you’re paid to work Saturdays or you’re not, it’s as simple as that. Employment is a contractual relationship, you work the days you are paid to work.

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u/sssavio 17d ago

Wtf is an optional work day? If we agree on an optional work day be sure I'll never gonna show up.

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u/No-Edge-2853 17d ago

I would be looking for a different job

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u/nessa0227 18d ago

NOR. If it’s optional I’d never be in on a Saturday. You need your weekends too. Lots of things are done on the weekends to help reset for the next week, so your boss is using you and your time.

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u/bwright07 18d ago

Can't stand people like that letting that job her life and it's optional definitely won't see me idc how behind we are

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u/jellybuttrpnut 18d ago

Don't respond.

Show up for your next scheduled shift. Unless she threatens to fire you, in which case you can calmly remind her of the working agreement, just hit her with the silent blank stare and head nod.

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u/9ScoreAnd10Panties 18d ago

NOR. I would be requesting more clarity about the schedule going forward. Like, consenting to the shift at the very least lol.

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u/fabthefrog33 18d ago

Expecting you to work on a day that's not part of your contracted hours when you weren't even asked the day before if you could, and then texting you in the rudest possible way about it....I would go straight to HR and put a grievance against her.

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u/DogOne2936 18d ago

Unfortunately, because this is a small family owned business, there is no HR... but i agree with you 100%. my boss is quite literally THE boss as they own the business. If it was your average corporate business they would be in an infinite amount of trouble for things they do besides this!

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u/Monday0987 18d ago

Are you paid extra to work Saturday?

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u/Silent-Wrangler6882 18d ago

“damn that’s crazy”

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u/DeepBig7633 18d ago

NOR, but I’m gonna assume your boss just placed you in the “I’m free every Saturday” box since you were coming in consistently on every Saturday. Sometimes it doesn’t pay to be too good of an employee.

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u/DogOne2936 18d ago

THIS !!!!! this is exactly what i DIDNT want happening but they expect it from EVERYONE there !!

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u/ORANGENBLACK101214 18d ago

Oh oh and I almost forgot, ummm I'm also gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday too, k?

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u/rob_inn_hood 18d ago

There shouldn’t be any such thing as optional days. You are leaving yourself vulnerable to this very situation. When it comes to work, bosses don’t want optional, they want assurance.

Right now, you are getting shafted and so is your boss. This is not working out for anyone, and you need to work the schedule and just be on every other Saturday. Other Saturdays they can call you, but without this whole optional thing, they will just have to move someone up to assist in that position on your off days.

As a past shift manager, what you are laying out sounds like a nightmare.

NOR, but you definitely need to rework your schedule so they can plan better than rolling the dice every Saturday on whether it’s busy and whether you decided to come to work.

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u/General_Platypus771 17d ago

AIO? 

Bro you didn’t even respond aka react lol

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u/Vault_CXV 17d ago

I used to work one additional day too, had to stop to focus on my family as my grandfather's health is rapidly declining, since then he's made several comments on it, ranging from telling me I've become lazy since my grandfather got ill, to asking if I'll be coming back to the extra shift when he finally passes. Unless you absolutely need the money, I'd say fuck em, they're not worth it at all in the long run.

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u/OperaSunny 17d ago

Find a different job tbh

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u/baronmcboomboom 17d ago

NOR.... Cos you haven't reacted

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u/EvolvingEachDay 17d ago

“Saturday work is optional, so I don’t understand why you would expect it?”

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u/Haunting_Hair_8311 17d ago

More like AIU - am I underreacting

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u/HeartProfessional543 17d ago

Just tell her that she might have forgotten to tell you and you are not available unfortunately. But you are happy to talk to her on monday to evaluate the process to make it more reliable for both sides.

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u/Standard_Fly_2456 17d ago

NOR You’re not overreacting at all. Truly take a step back right now and consider if you want to continue with this job. Chances are it will always feel like you have to fight for your Saturday.

Is it worth it to you to have to do this song and dance every weekend?

TMI but I want to share, I worked a job very similar to this. There was an expectation to show up on your day off, despite it often not being communicated (or being communicated at the end of the final day of the week) AND it was also never documented or paid for. You got free lunch and did whatever boss man felt like for the day.

It would be a full work day too. Not a 1-2 hour stint, like 5-7 hours of doing unpaid work for 1 of my 2 weekend days.

I was getting so tired of it, I started to do things intentionally to ensure I couldn’t be expected to show up on my day off, unpaid. Make myself busy for the weekend so I had a clear excuse as to why I needed my free time.

This was met with harsh feedback.

Ended up leaving the job and I’m so happy I did. It was an incredibly hard decision - this was my dream job!! But in reality, it was smoke in mirrors. Tying myself any further to that place was going to continue to strain my finances. Didn’t even bring up the pay here, but that’s the real reason I left.

Sorry, made it about me.

All of this to say, when it comes to issues like this with management, you’ll be hard pressed to find them changing. Be honest with yourself now before you get any deeper in this job, are you willing to put up with this type of management? The longer you work here the harder it will be to get away.

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u/Mazewow1200cr 17d ago

You should not care about what your boss thinks or if they talk behind your back. Even nice bosses do.

Set boundaries and be clear in your messages that they are optional and that you won’t be pressured into working an optional day.

You are not a toddler getting told what to do by their parents. It’s a job, an exchange of service within a work contract, if they don’t respect it, work somewhere else where they do.

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u/AliveBeat 17d ago

fuck your boss. you're gonna die one day

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u/ReignofKindo25 17d ago

New job time

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u/rickelzy 17d ago

"Hey Boss,

As you're aware, my regular schedule is Monday to Friday. I was not notified of any scheduled mandatory overtime on (date in question). I apologize for any miscommunication."

I'd leave it at that. Don't offer any system to improve her scheduling, that's more work for you and it's for her to figure out how to run a business.

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u/Overcast451 17d ago

Of all the things that might have me looking for a new job, this would have me looking the most.

NOR in the slightest.

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u/PandorasFlame1 17d ago

NOR. "Why would you be expecting me in? I'm scheduled off."

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u/KCHonie 17d ago

NOR, but paragraphs would be useful!!!

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u/Slylok 17d ago

If they consider it optional and the amount of hours you get through the week do not make it OT then I would make it clear that by end of day Friday ( if it is OT then I think Wednesday ) that all of those needed Saturday should be alerted. 

If it were me I would not respond at all. Then Monday tell them Saturdays are optional and you had important plans and leave it.

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u/IamNotTheMama 17d ago

NR - you are not reacting

It takes 2 people to be taken advantage of.

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u/Moist-Forever-4193 17d ago

Op I think you’re looking for the AIUR subreddit, because DAMN

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u/username617508 17d ago

Personally, id say under reacting because it doesnt look like you responded.

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u/greenish98 17d ago

this whole situation sounds toxic and disrespectful of your personal life. i’d find a new job (unless you like working on saturdays for a crazy boss)

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u/Zeenat805 17d ago

NOR

This sounds like my manager. No good morning nothing just "someone is sick and I need to be at work at 9am". Nowadays I don't even respond to her texts on my off days.

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u/mousedeer_78 18d ago

NOR that’s crazy work on the bosses behalf. I don’t know why you go in so much as it is if it’s optional.

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u/DogOne2936 18d ago

at my job it is just 3 people working on my unit. I do it for the sake of being on top of things... it sure wasnt worth it

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u/TopNotchJuice 18d ago

wtf is an optional day? Do you get paid more if you go in?

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u/DogOne2936 18d ago

I work for a small family owned business that operates Mon-Sat. However, when I got hired I was told that saturdays are optional unless we had a lot of workload. We get paid the same amount if we go in, no extra.

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u/jeffdujour 18d ago

Can I ask about your general area or country? This is illegal where I am unless you have an employment contract with a salary for unspecified hours of work

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u/DogOne2936 18d ago

I'm located in Texas!

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u/DogOne2936 18d ago

mm i'd choose either invisibility or flight

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u/Most_Squirrel_9926 18d ago

NOR— can’t stand bosses that think they can just talk to you however cus they are in a higher power, it’s rude and unfair if you weren’t scheduled and it’s not a required shift she can’t do anything about it

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u/Kopesetic 18d ago

NOR. Unless she can see you read it, you never saw it. You weren’t on the schedule and no one said anything to you. If it’s that big of a deal, she can kick rocks. What’s she gonna do, fire you? They must be short staffed if they’re getting this bent out of shape over it. I’d throw this in the fuck it bucket and go about my day.

Also maybe hit up the ole job search and find something with more dependable days off/a cooler boss. I’ve stayed at some really shitty jobs because the boss was cool. Easier said than done I know. Jobs are hard to find, but if you work retail or food you’ll always be able to find something. For now at least.

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u/TheLastRobot 18d ago

"Hi, I'm not available this weekend. See you Monday!"

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u/jeffdujour 18d ago

Are you required to answer texts on off hours? I can be expected to take a call from the number of the business I work at but not required. Calls from personal phones are a no and texts are a fuck no. Some people will indulge but I don’t. I work for a union and I don’t have to deal with shit because of that. People will ask me if I got their text and I’ll just say “yeah” and leave it at that. If you’re salary it’s a different story

NOR but also need info

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u/rockmediabeeetus 18d ago

NOR. I had a job once roughly 12 years ago. They said they needed me (they didn’t). My father was dying of cancer. In the hospice unit, dying, and so forth. My family needed me more. She told me I had two days bereavement leave and I said that doesn’t work. I don’t expect to be paid for not being there, but family comes first. She had the nerve to argue and I cut her off saying something like I’ll make sure when I see dad to tell him to die quicker for you so I can return. I didn’t regret it and I don’t. 

For what it’s worth we both understood it was an awful situation and neither of us were thinking straight for various reasons. We hugged it out and she had a lot going on too. None of that negates my situation at the time clearly—I want to make sure this narrative is truthful. 

My point is remain true to yourself and whatever deal you made with your job. This may not be the best place for you and there’s nothing wrong with that or with you. If you leave, leave gracefully. 

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u/Resident-Low-7525 18d ago

NOR.

Keep a record of this, do not delete any correspondence, and contact HR. The only response she needs (when you’re ready) is that you work M-F, and Saturday is optional. Let her dig herself a hole from there.

Seriously, contact HR.

-An upper admin

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u/DogOne2936 18d ago

Thank you for the response! There is just one issue with this. Because I work for a small family owned business in the garment decoration industry... there is no HR. The only reason my boss gets away with this behavior (and far worse) is because of that.

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u/Willing-Bad3824 18d ago

NOR

(1) Depending on what state you’re in, working a whole 40 hours and getting no overtime pay for working on Saturday is illegal.
(2) I make it a rule to not answer work calls or texts after hours. I did have a job when I did look at texts after hours, but if it’s not an emergency then I’m not responding.
(3) Make it clear to your boss that YOU will give a verbal notification if you’re working, NOT the other way around.

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u/kilroy1199 18d ago

Dude needs to ask you and not order you. I wouldn’t go in either.

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u/antarctica91 18d ago

I just knew this was a small business. I work for my fathers and this is how he expected me to be. Work everyday as if I had nothing else to do ugh

1

u/Ancient-Algae-3905 17d ago

This is not a good policy, expectations should be clear and standard in a workplace especially if they have expectations that aren’t standard

I have no advice, I don’t think there’s overreacting

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u/EquipmentTop3818 17d ago

As a Dutch person (đŸ‡łđŸ‡±, not Germany), I would have never answered it. We have a contract, we work what our boss contracted us and more if there is sickness because a colleague is sick and you agree to take over the job. With sickness and they need us: only during work time they’re allowed to ask us if we want to hand in our free day to fix the shortness in staff. Free time is free time. We work to live, not to live for work. Helping outside your normal days: okay. Only with your permission. But this message is like “you need to be here and it’s not in the contract and also without your permission”. Stupid. It’s your private number and you have a life, so your boss is already crossing lines. I don’t want you to lose your job, but i would have said: “it’s not my workday, and don’t message me on my private number. We’ll see each other at the scheduled and contracted work days, or if I agreed with a day more, at that day”. It’s his business; his problem. You do already enough and too much.

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u/Slashredd1t 17d ago

From what I’m reading you
. Couldn’t react
. Less? Idk I’m lost here

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u/alglaz 17d ago

NoR. If it’s a small business I suppose there isn’t a dedicated HR rep? Where are you located; could you speak with your union rep?

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u/Comfortable-Regret 17d ago

INFO

What was your response..? We can't tell if you're overreacting if you don't show your reaction.

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u/spenny039 17d ago

Where are you working that 10:00-3:00 is normal? Genuinely curious.

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u/Beneficial-Celery964 17d ago

“Your lack of preparation does not constitute an emergency on my part.” I’ve said this to many coworkers, employers.

Aside from that, I get where you’re coming from. You want to help, make yourself helpful and a team player. That’s super kind of you and respected.

That said, I’ll tell you what I said to my coworker (also a manager) who offers to assist anytime there’s issues with staffing at work: “boundaries are your friend. I appreciate you, and your wish to be a team player, but I appreciate you being here and not burned out more.”

Take care of yourself, and I wish you the best (and one day a better job with a boss who actually respects their staff and their time).