Hygiene with ADHD

[u/Extreme_Foundation66]

Hi to all my ADHD friends!

I have ADHD and I have my whole life struggled with my hygiene.

I hate to talk about this but the few times I have done it with my friends with ADHD I feel less alone so I hope this will have the same effect. I also wanna say that I would appreciate if you kept your judgements and negative comments to yourself (since I’ve also experienced that when talking about this)

First of all, I absolutely hate to shower. It has so many steps, I hate the feeling of water on my body and I really struggle to start. This makes it harder for me to workout cause the thought of taking a shower is so overwhelming.

I also struggle with steps like brushing my teeth and remembering steps in my routine!

Also other weekly things like shaving, cutting my nails!

Please tell me that I’m not alone and if you’re having any advice or anything I would appreciate it! I’m really embarrassed about it!

Update: I’m genuinely so thankful for every single comment under this post! I’ve never felt this seen and understood before. I’m so proud of everyone that has shared their stories and I wish you all the best ❤️

[u/luckecatt]

Please don’t feel embarrassed or judged. I can’t speak for everyone here, but I have a feeling we all struggle with this in at least some way. I really understand about the showers. While I absolutely love baths, I hate showers so much. I don’t like the water bearing only skin. I hate the feeling of having a wet face. Also, when you get out you are FREEZING and then I’m dealing with wet hair that is going to take me 30 mins to dry while I stand there hot and sweaty under the dryer. I’m awful about my teeth and I’m embarrassed to tell you the last time I have been to the dentist. I know I need thousands of dollars worth of work now and shouldn’t keep procrastinating, but the more I think of how much it’s going to cost and all the pain and anxiety of going, the more I keep putting it off. It’s like a vicious cycle.

[u/Extreme_Foundation66 → u/luckecatt]

You have no idea how much I needed to hear this today, I started to tear up. I grew up in a “type A” family as the only adhd’er and I still constantly get blamed for my messy home and my bad routines even though I moved out 2 years ago ❤️

[u/luckecatt → u/Extreme_Foundation66]

You are so welcome. Wish I could give you a big hug. Funny thing is I know my mom and sister also have ADHD, but they are neat freaks. I did not get that kind. I have been working on it but I am naturally messy and my surroundings have always been a bit chaotic. Definitely a big source of shame considering I feel like the only one in my family like this. I think they just use all their nervous energy towards cleaning and organizing whereas my nervous energy kind of just stays inside my head. Like I will just sit glued to the couch worried about all I need to do and not having the drive to actually do it. Then I feel ashamed that I didn’t get anything done. It’s definitely a very vicious cycle that is never ending. I am finally taking medication. I was afraid of stimulants so my doctor prescribed me Wellbutrin. She said it acts like a stimulant but not as extreme. So far it hasn’t really done anything but it’s only been a few weeks. I really hope that it eventually helps with executive dysfunction.

[u/Extreme_Foundation66 → u/luckecatt]

Thank you so much! I feel like your situation is kind of similar then! But please why couldn’t we have gotten that kind of ADHD!? Haha. I do take stimulants (vyvanse) since a few years back and it definitely saves my life but life just gets harder and harder with more pressure from the society. Like I was finally happy with my medication dose but then I moved out and suddenly I had a thousand new steps in my routines and in my everyday life.

[u/luckecatt → u/Extreme_Foundation66]

Right??? I would love to be a neat freak but it’s probably exhausting. Moving out on your own is HARD. It’s like starting over. There is so much responsibility and definitely can get overwhelming. I’m sorry you are struggling right now. I think once you settle in you will definitely feel more like your normal sense. I’m definitely interested in Vyvanse. If Wellbutrin doesn’t work I definitely want to go that route. Not sure why I’m so terrified of it lol

[u/Extreme_Foundation66 → u/luckecatt]

Buuut I feel like our ADHD is exhausting as well, at least they get something out of it. (Just kidding haha I get that it comes with its own issues)

It definitely is! I moved out at the age of 18 and moved to my own apartment at 19. Now I will move in to my new apartment in 2 months and let’s just say I hope I will get better routines there!

I’ve tried so many different meditations and for me vyvanse has been the best but I feel social media always just shows its worst side effects!? Like I was terrified before I started and now I can do so many more things I used to struggle with before! But honestly it sounds good that you’re giving this medication some time, I think I was too desperate when I started. If something wasn’t working I wanted a new one…

[u/luckecatt → u/Extreme_Foundation66]

Yes, I think it might be a hyper focus for them? And when I am feeling bad about myself, I always try to remember what my therapist told me. She said being messy does not make you a bad person, just like being a neat and tidy person doesn’t automatically make you a good person. Just remember Jeffrey Dahmer supposedly kept a very tidy place, so at least there is that. 🤣 Moving out at such a young age is AMAZING. Seriously. You should really be proud of yourself. You will settle in soon and I think routines will follow. I definitely got scared from stimulants from what I have seen on TikTok. I also have to remind myself people don’t necessarily review stuff when it’s great, but they do like to tell you when they’ve had a bad experience.

[u/Extreme_Foundation66 → u/luckecatt]

Omg yes!! I’ve read so many times that mass killers and people like that usually has very clean homes. That is definitely something we should think of..😂

And thank you so much! I think I’ve just done all this without thinking about it just for my therapist to tell me how amazing it is !?!

And it’s actually insane how much things we see on tik tok (haha okay i sound very old). I mean yes I’m sweating like an idiot, have lost some weight and becomes more quiet while being on them buuut I also feel like a new person!? Like my school grades, my happiness and my energy and more. What do you experience on the meds you’re taking right now?

[u/luckecatt → u/Extreme_Foundation66]

🤣 yes , neat freaks are sketchy!! Just kidding. I’m so glad you had such a good experience with Vyvanse. Is there still a shortage or was that just to scare people from asking for it? I’m honestly clueless. To be totally honest, I really don’t feel anything from this medication yet, good or bad. I’m still on a low starting dose, but I’m usually very sensitive to meds so not having any side effects at all is a little strange. I’m going to keep taking it just because it isn’t adversely affecting me. I’m hoping it just takes time to build up. It’s supposed to give you energy and focus and also improve your mood. It’s mainly used for depression but prescribed off label for adhd. Most people lose weight on it because it works like an appetite suppressant, especially in the first few months. Unfortunately I have not experienced that yet lol

[u/Extreme_Foundation66 → u/luckecatt]

To try different medications is honestly so tiring but also exiting haha. I hope it works out for you, just don’t give up. And about the weightloss, I wish mine did more haha to lose weight while having ADHD is honestly so hard (liiike what isn’t hard when you have adhd). Not because I need to but like give me some nice side effects haha now when I have to feel like I’m sitting in a sauna all day long. No but seriously I hope you find some medication that works for you! How old were you when you got diagnosed?

[u/luckecatt → u/Extreme_Foundation66]

Yes, give us good side effects!! Ha ha oh, you don’t want to know how old I was when I was diagnosed. 🤣 I was literally just diagnosed in March in my 40s. I self diagnosed almost 5 years ago. I had a catastrophic loss late last year and I finally was just fed up with the way I had lived all those years. I know none of it was my fault, but I figured if I got diagnosed I could actually get meds to hopefully make life easier. I have always felt like easy things people take for granted is like 10 times harder for me and it’s been exhausting. I was hell bent on trying stimulants right away but I chickened out. Were you diagnosed as a kid? I don’t think women my age were diagnosed when we were young. We kind of just flew under the radar.

[u/Extreme_Foundation66 → u/luckecatt]

I’m so sorry to hear that! I hope you’re doing okay! It’s honestly terrible how many (especially women) that goes through most of our lives undiagnosed! And I wish. I’m in my 20’s now and I got diagnosed at 17. Even though it’s way earlier than you I relate to everything you say. I got my diagnosis way too late. At that point I was so so burned out that I couldn’t go to school, I walked around in the same clothes all the time and my Binging was terrible (I was overweight and got bullied for it which definitely didn’t made school easier) and if we’re talking about hygiene… I’m not even close to how bad it used to be. If i hadn’t got my diagnosis then I honestly don’t think I would be here today. So I get it! It’s like griefing the person you could have been… I used to be the happiest girl ever as a kid, I loved to talk to everyone and I good grades. But because of how different and weird I felt and as the pressure from society became worse it all just went down. I then lost my dad to cancer at 11 and had a lot of family problems after that at the same time as all the ADHD struggles both in school and just in my head. So I honestly couldn’t imagine getting my diagnosis even later in life, I’m so sorry!

May I ask if you have an education? kids? And how do you figure the life puzzle out? I’m honestly so scared for the future 🩷