r/2under2 • u/minyinnie • 2d ago
How did you manage your toddler post c-section?
I had an unplanned c section 2 weeks ago and honestly the absolute hardest part of this is not being about to pick up my 1.5 year old. I’m watching her changer her preference to dad over me in real time and this is the hardest part of postpartum for me right now.
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u/RevolutionarySwan323 1d ago
I didn't pick up my 19 month old for roughly 4-5 weeks after my second section. My youngest is now 9 months, and both babies are attached to me like white on rice. It absolutely does not have a long-term effect. Get through the next few weeks, heal, and I promise you your bond with both babies will be as strong as ever.
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u/numberthr333 2d ago
My first was born via planned C-section (breech) and I chose to do a repeat section. Our firstborn was 27months old when baby 2 was born, but is physically dependent due to global developmental delays. My husband was on full toddler duty during his entire leave. I didn’t pick up our toddler son for 8 weeks. They often left the house together for therapy and dr appts (we have soooo many every week) without baby and I.
Children go through preferred parent phases all the time, regardless of a new baby entering the scene or not. Our daughter just turned 1 and my relationship with my firstborn son was not impacted by my C-section recovery. And my daughter recently entered a Daddy phase after a staunch Mommy phase where she refused to go to him. I take it as a good sign that our kids love both parents.
Be sure to take care of yourself! Make a cuddle spot on the couch where toddler can climb up or have Dad put them there next to you. You can still have intentional time with your toddler while prioritizing your healing.
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u/dooroodree 1d ago
I tried to reframe this in my head. I have had the opportunity to be my firsts world for her first 18 months. Now it’s my husbands turn to be that for her.
I cried a lot in the first two weeks. My eldest ended up in hospital at 5 weeks pp and I couldn’t be there (had to be breastfeeding around the clock) and the reliance on dad increased.
My husband has now returned to work and I’m still trying to be positive about it. My daughter asks to see photos of him all day. But I’m the one here day in day out again.
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u/WonderfulCoyote6849 1d ago
It absolutely sucked but once I was given the green light to pick him up at 6 weeks pp things went back to normal pretty quickly!
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u/Ok-Art4718 1d ago
I was an idiot and I picked up my kid. Ended up with a blood clot the size of a cherry that could have been life threatening.
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u/ellenrage 2d ago
I also had an unplanned c-section with my second, and I had been angling so hard for a VBAC because I knew recovery would be much more difficult with my toddler. I'm 12 weeks postpartum now. It was really hard, I'm not going to say it wasn't. I was very diligent about not picking up my toddler too soon because I really didnt want to mess up my recovery and make it last even longer. I started picking him up around 6-7 weeks and even that was too soon and caused some bleeding/pain. I had to explain over and over "mama has a big booboo" and I would offer a hug every time he wanted me to pick him up. It was also super hard feeling powerless and useless because I am so used to being self-sufficient. Its just a phase you have to get through.
But honestly one of the bright spots for me is that it did strengthen the relationship between my husband and our toddler. For 2 years it was me doing bedtime every night, middle of the night soothing, etc - because I liked it, and have a hard time letting go! But now I've had to take a step back and toddler goes to my husband in the middle of the night. Sure, it can kind of hurt my feelings, but its also so sweet to see them cuddling. I know preferences will change and shift throughout their lives.