r/2under2 • u/espressoshake • 2d ago
Day 1 solo parenting
Husband went back to work today so it’s day 1 solo parenting my 2 week old and 15 month old. I’m already ashamed at how stressed I’ve been and impatient with my 15 month old.
Tried to baby wear so I could have my hands free and newborn can’t stop spitting up this morning.
I just don’t want my toddler to think I’m absent or not nice anymore. I’m sure it will get easier but I’m 3 hours in and kind of terrified.
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u/stabhime 2d ago
Be kind with yourself! You're doing great. My first day solo parenting my oldest smashed a vase right at 8am and I thought I was doomed for sure 😂 the moments of stress and chaos will stand out to you more than they do your little ones. They're happy to be home hanging out with you!
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u/jam_bam_rocks 2d ago
I remember writing an exact post like this a year ago and we were all in tears by 9am if I remember rightly! A year on, I’m back to work and it literally feels like a blink of an eye. Hang in there as it feels so tough but it’ll be over before you know it. Each day under your belt makes it easier and easier!
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u/espressoshake 2d ago
Thank you! Things did turn around a bit as the day went on so I’m feeling a bit more hopeful 😭❤️
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u/toxicwonderpup 2d ago
howd the rest of the day go?
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u/espressoshake 2d ago
So for the first 3 hours my newborn was insisting on staying awake so I couldn’t set her down which made everything feel so chaotic, but once she finally filled her diaper she took a 2 hour nap and it gave me a chance to focus on the toddler! I moved everything into the living room, (bassinet, toddlers high chair, my diaper change supplies, etc) and since then we have been camped in here together. I felt a bit more in control after that haha. I was even able to get them both to contact nap one on each arm for an hour which was so nice and now I feel like my highs and lows of the day have been a bit dramatic.
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u/Auroraborealis52622 1d ago
It definitely gets better! I'm no expert, we're only 9 weeks in to 2 under 2 but I was just realizing the other day how I don't feel anxious about solo parenting anymore. One thing that really helped is I figured out how to leave the house with both of them pretty early on. We frequent toddler friendly parks, the library and the nature center and I'm planning to try the zoo this week. Everywhere we go is a short drive, free and non scheduled so we can leave home when it works for the baby and get home quickly if possible.
The baby sleeps when we're out and it gives my toddler and me some 'alone time' and make the day go faster. By the time we get home from our outing it's lunch time, then the toddler naps and after she get up I try to get some chores done before my husband gets home and the day is done.
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u/gujubooboo 1d ago
How do you contain your toddler when you have to feed the newborn?? That’s my biggest concern!
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u/Auroraborealis52622 1d ago
I feed and change the baby right before we leave and we're only out for 1-2 hours at a time so I haven't had to feed her yet but if I did, the places we're going are all very child friendly (fenced in, appropriate sized equipment etc...) so if I did need to feed her, the toddler could play and I'd be able to watch.
I've fed the baby in the carrier a few times so you could do that too but it's a little bit of a hassle so I try to just plan our schedule around her. I've also put th toddler in her car seat and fed the baby in the car for a few minutes so we can make it home peacefully and then done a full feed at home.
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u/dooroodree 2d ago
I had my first day last week. My toddler was ill and uncharacteristically super needy. It was a disaster. On day 2 I called my husband to come home from work because I wasn’t coping. 48 hours later toddler was diagnosed with RSV, adenovirus and rhinovirus and had to be hospitalised for 2 nights.
Trying again this week now she’s better. I’ve realised anything is easier than last week. My take away is that getting through the hard days makes every other day easier.
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u/friendscout 1d ago
As a father i stayed home 8 weeks (similar age gap) after 2nd child was born and I truly couldn't imagine my wife being able to handle it completely alone during this time. Get some assistance or tell your hubby he should take more time off work. 2 month in it's getting easier in my experience.
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u/gujubooboo 1d ago
Just wanted to say hi and that yesterday was also my first day of solo parenting!! Mine are 1 month and 18 months old. The afternoon went much better for us as we just played in the fenced in backyard the whole time but our morning was a disaster!
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u/EchoChamberWhispers 8h ago
I am not sure if you have been told this, but crying is not necessarily an emergency, so try not to let the crying get to you. 😊️
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u/MsBumblebee_6117 2d ago
I had the same age gap. I promise, it gets easier! You just have to get into a routine. If you would like any advice, feel free to reach out. I’m not an expert and definitely still have days where all three of us end up crying, but most days are surprisingly great.