Is all infant daycare this depressing?

[u/somethyme42]

Just started my 4.5 month old at our local KinderCare center on Monday, and I'm not feeling great about it. She seems to be doing fine and has started napping and eating well at daycare per the app updates, but every time I drop her off the infant room just seems so... depressing. There are 2 teachers to 11 infants and there are always 3-4 infants crying on the floor or in their crib when I get there. 1 teacher is usually feeding somebody while the other is trying to attend to a crying kids. I feel sick leaving my daughter on the floor there.

Our state's ratio is 2 to 11 and basically all the daycares I toured had these numbers, so I felt like it didn't matter that I went with the cheaper daycare over the more expensive Emilio Reggia place nearby. But now I feel kind of terrible about it.

I'm in medical school so my schedule is unpredictable and my husband works. Currently feeling like garbage because all my classmates who have kids are men with stay at home wives who don't have to worry about this. My mom was a SAHM and has no advice to offer. We're moving in 6 months for my medical residency so we'll be switching centers but I'm worried we made the wrong choice.

[u/Puzzleheaded-Pen-631]

Not to mention, most of those infants are 12 months old approximately in daycare, since we have 12 (or 18) month maternity leave. Of course there are exceptions, but the bulk of those infants are older much than 4.5 months.

[u/PaleTravel1071 → u/Puzzleheaded-Pen-631]

This makes me so happy for yall, but so incredibly sad about American Mat leave

[u/Puzzleheaded-Pen-631 → u/PaleTravel1071]

We’re sad for you too, but I’m not sure that’s any consolation. I remember learning about US mat leave as a child since my mom watched soaps on TV. These actresses would leave on a “trip” and come back a few weeks later. It blew my mind then, and as a mom now… I can’t imagine.

For your knowledge, our maternity leave is paid out of the Employment Insurance program. Not by the employer, and negligible extra overhead since it’s being administered anyway.

All the Canadians will cheer you on if you can ever make it happen!

[u/Special-Worry2089 → u/Puzzleheaded-Pen-631]

Yup paid through EI but only 55% up to $60k of income, so you’re making near $33k - but anything helps!

[u/Puzzleheaded-Pen-631 → u/Special-Worry2089]

Yes I took care to educate my American colleagues on the numbers when pregnant with my first child. But, some money is infinitely better than no money.

As a breadwinner though, and one who made way more than $60k, it was tough.

[u/Try_Even → u/PaleTravel1071]

We want mat leave here. The formula companies and other infant product companies lobby against it :/

[u/Special-Worry2089 → u/Puzzleheaded-Pen-631]

Most kiddos in the room are ~5-6 months on the young side and you’re right the average is 8-14 months!